Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Heath
I fucked up.
Majorly.
But my mom was in my face and I could feel Leo’s eyes on me.
Those beautiful eyes.
I was torn in half. I was lost and spoke too quickly, uttered words I can’t take back. Words he heard.
“You’ll end it,” she hisses as she pokes at my chest, reiterating once more that she doesn’t like who I want to be with. She wants me with Lana and no one else. Even though she cheated on me, even though she only is with me for the money and the connections.
Even if I’m happy with Leo.
And yet I called what we have nothing .
He heard it too and now he’s gone.
“Fuck,” I murmur, running a hand through my hair. How does she have so much control over me? It shouldn’t matter what she or anyone thinks.
“End it now. Or else.”
I meet her gaze and clench my jaw. “Or else what?”
She sputters and her cheeks turn an ugly shade of red. She looks like a dragon.
“Or else you’ll lose this.” She sweeps her hand out toward the yard. “You’d give all this up for someone like him?”
Would I? Yeah, I fucking would. I never liked it much anyways.
I huff a laugh. “Yeah. I would. Fuck this. Fuck you. I’m leaving. And mom, Lana and I aren’t ever getting back together. You need to quit trying to make that happen. Leo’s it for me.”
She sputters, but I’m already turning around and moving quickly through the house, trying to catch him before he leaves, but he’s gone. I can feel his absence.
Did I fuck this up for good? Is it over now?
I should have stayed home with him and not gone to this stupid family event. They just like to tote us around like souvenirs anyways. We aren’t real people with emotions and feelings. We’re nothing more than puppets.
I hate it here. I hate them.
“Heath! I just saw Leo leave!” Selena says, catching my arm and panting heavily.
I stop for a moment to look at her.
“Are you going to die?”
“I just ran. In heels. You try it sometime. Anyways, what happened?”
“Leo left. Mom caught us. She knows. Or at least knows that something’s going on…I mean, I told her. So…”
“Hell yes!” She lets out a laugh before smothering it. “Oh, but Leo is upset. What did you say?”
“Nothing much. And that’s the problem. Shit, I messed up. Big time.”
“Well, let’s go get him then.”
She grabs onto my hand and pulls me out of the house, slightly wobbly and mostly drunk, but I still let her take me to my car. I open the door for her and buckle her in as she hiccups. She leans her head back and giggles.
“Hurry up, dude. We have to go catch him.”
I grumble in annoyance. “I’m going as fast as I can.”
“You have to go faster. Love waits for no man.”
I side eye my sister who is now sitting forward, staring intently out the windshield as I peel out from my parking spot on the street.
“Woah. Race car driver. The world is spinning,” she murmurs. “Everything is a blur.”
“That’s because you drank like a fish.”
“Yes, well, I had to socialize with mom and dad and they suck. Let’s never speak to them again. I’d rather just talk to you and Leo.”
“Good plan,” I murmur as I maneuver around a car going far too slow.
I don’t know how much of a head start Leo has, but I want to make sure he doesn’t have too long to stew on things.
I want to right this.
I want to make it right.
I don’t want him to think too hard about how awful I was.
“Where do you think he went?”
“Home, probably.”
As I say this, my sister rolls the window down and shouts loudly at the driver we’re currently passing.
“Move, bitch! No one stands in the way of love!”
I roll the window up and put the child locks on. My sister needs some water and a nice nap. Jesus, she’s out of control.
When we arrive at Leo’s apartment thirty minutes later, I try to convince my sister to stay in the car, but she stumbles after me, so I put my arm around her and make my way to his place.
“Oh this is run down, bro,” she whispers before burping loudly, making a man leaving his apartment fist bump her in appreciation.
“Keep those words and thoughts to yourself,” I say and she mimes locking her lips and throwing away the key. I don’t think that’s actually going to work .
But I don’t have time to debate it. Instead, I knock on the rickety door and a moment later it swings open, but it’s not Leo standing there. It’s Jack.
“Oh hello!” My sister grins widely at him and bats her eyelashes in a flirtatious attempt to woo him. She looks like she’s dying however, and it’s not attractive at all.
Jack just stares at her before looking at me.
“Who’s this?” he asks.
“My sister. Don’t mind her. Is Leo here?”
“Yes and he’s upset.” His gaze darkens and for a moment I see that serial killer vibe Leo mentioned before. Fuck, maybe he does kill people in his free time.
“I know and that’s why we’re here. To save the day,” Selena interjects.
“Let me speak to him. Please.”
He examines me a moment before stepping back and letting us in. I deposit Selena on the couch, asking Jack to get her some water before moving to Leo’s bedroom without a backwards glance.
And as soon as I step foot inside, I see him. He’s sitting on the bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, his cheek on his crossed arms. He looks forlorn and lost, and my heart splits right down the middle. It’s made even worse when he sees me enter but doesn’t say anything, just watches me approach him.
“I’m so sorry, Leo.”
He swallows and his eyelashes flutter. “I know.”
My knees hit the edge of the bed and he sighs. “I get why you said it. Your mother is awful.”
“She is. They both are. I never wanted you to meet them.”
“I didn’t plan on that being your parent’s house. I hope you know that.”
“I do.”
“Asher just invited me and I took him up on it because I knew I’d just miss you if I sat around alone all day.”
“I know. I just…fuck, I know you heard what I said. You have to kn ow you’re not nothing to me. You’re amazing and everything I want. And I’m sorry I didn’t say that to my mom.”
“You don’t owe me that. You don’t need to out yourself to anyone you don’t want to. Who you want, who you’re attracted to, is no one’s business but your own.”
“I know, but…”
“It’s fine, Heath. I’m fine. Thank you for coming by.”
I stand there and stare at him. Is he dismissing me? Is this over? My chest constricts and I press my fingers to the pain radiating there. I may not survive this.
“Do you want me to go?” I finally ask, my voice a wheeze.
He blinks at me and when he doesn’t answer, I nod, swallowing roughly. “Yeah, okay. I get it.”
I turn to leave, but he sighs.
“No, of course I don’t want you to leave. Come here. I want you to hold me. I missed you today. I hated not being able to touch you, to kiss you.”
I sag in relief and rush toward him, gathering him in my arms and pulling him into me. That pain recedes slightly as I inhale the scent of him.
“I’m sorry, Leo.”
“I am too. Sorry she found out. Sorry you had to deal with her hate.”
“I’m not sorry she found out. Selena and I will probably go no contact after this. I don’t know why I’ve been holding onto them for so long.”
“They’re your parents. We all want them to love us. Don’t give them up for me.”
“It’s no great loss.”
“It’s not!” Selena says, wobbling in our doorway. “They suck.”
“Selena, get out of here,” I grumble but she just moves toward us and flops down right on top of us.
“Jack is not into me so I’ve decided that I want a hug too. I am a sad and lonely woman. ”
Leo huffs a laugh as he wraps his arm around her.
“You can stay here.”
“No, she cannot. Jack!”
“He crawled back through the hole in the wall. I love that by the way. Can I move in here with you?”
“No, you cannot,” I hiss and Selena lifts her head a moment before it flops back down.
“My head’s too heavy to lift right now so I can’t glower. I don’t want to move in here anyways because you two would be smooching heavily all the time.”
I peer over at Leo who is giggling slightly, the sparkle in his eyes making him light up.
“I do love smooching,” he whispers and I roll my eyes.
“Sorry. I wanted her to wait in the car, but she’s stubborn.”
“Can hear you,” she murmurs and then starts to snore.
“For fuck’s sake,” I say as I maneuver her limp, sleeping body off us. She flops to my side, not waking up. It leaves me and Leo to stare at one another, my hand falling softly to his cheek.
“This is not ideal. This is not how I wanted to admit this to you, but I want you, Leo. Only you.”
His eyes grow watery. “You sure?”
I press a kiss to his lips and he thankfully kisses me back. “Yes. I am.”
He sighs and then wraps me in a hug and buries his face in my neck.
“Don’t make any rash decisions tonight. We can take this slow,” he murmurs, but I know deep in my heart that I’ve already made my decision.
No more parents.
Only Leo.
I only want Leo.
“Let me prove it to you. I’ll prove it to you.”
Leo murmurs something into my neck that I can’t hear and then pulls away .
“Okay, you can do that.”
I kiss him again, harder this time and he sighs.
“I want you. I fucking want you .”
He grinds against my hardening dick before shaking his head. “We can’t do this with Jack in his apartment and your sister right next to us.”
“Fuck. Can I disown her too?”
He laughs. “No. You cannot. She adores you.”
“Sadly.”
“Fine. We can wait. I’ll just hold you instead. I want to hold you forever, Leo.”
He sinks down against me and squeezes me tightly.
“Don’t break my heart.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
It takes a few weeks for Leo to really believe that I want only him, that this is it for me. But slowly he starts to see. Selena and I have cut off our parents. Neither of us can be bothered with their dramatics anymore and honestly, my life is so much better since I did that. I even blocked Lana. I took care of that the day after I found Leo sad in bed, looking so forlorn. I never want to speak to her again.
She can find someone else to leech off of.
I’m done with that part of my life.
I just want to move forward. With him.
“I can’t believe you did that!” Leo says a grin on his face, hope lining his features as I hang up the phone and toss it away.
I collapse on top of him and kiss my way up his neck.
“You actually told her you’re going to marry me. That’s ridiculous!”
I did. I called my mother and told her, on speaker phone, with Leo listening, that I’m marrying a man. I didn’t propose to Leo, not yet, but I plan to. When he’s ready for it .
I might have been looking at rings.
Ones that would fit him well.
“And you told her I’m a camboy! I bet she doesn’t even know what that is.”
“I did. I want her to be completely flustered and scandalized when she looks up that word. And besides, I’m proud of you. My man is a star.”
“Only because of you. When I make content with my mysterious man, I get a lot of hits. Carter is really happy with the way things are going.”
“Good. You’ll only be making content with me anyway, so get used to it.”
He cups my cheeks. “Jealous?”
“Yes, so much so, I will put a ring on it. One day.”
“You don’t need to marry me.”
“Oh, I know. I don’t need to do anything. But I want to. When you’re ready.”
He gapes up at me. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yes, and there is no pressure. You let me know when you want to tie the knot. You’re it for me, Leo.”
“We barely know each other, you boob!”
“I know you plenty and you’re exactly the person I want to be with. You light up my life and I love you.”
He stares up at me, his eyes growing watery.
“Fuck you, Heath.”
I chuckle and press a kiss to the tip of his nose.
“You angry?”
“Yes, because this is so romantic. And I can’t cope.”
I kiss him deeply and when we come up for air, he breathes out that he loves me too.
It fills my heart completely and for the first time in years, I feel complete.
For the first time in my life, I’m truly happy.
Because of him, my Leo.
My love.