Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Elijah felt a warm hand smooth across his forehead, he liked the comforting feeling it gave him.
A smile played on his lips as he focussed on where he was.
As the soft hand left his forehead and slid down to his cheek.
He moved his head to snuggle into the warm hand.
He could smell the aroma of orange fill his nostrils.
“Sit up and have an orange wedge, they are so juicy.” He heard Lilly whisper.
Opening his eyes and sitting up, he felt the edge of the blanket that covered him fall to his waist. Lilly must have covered him while he slept which meant she had finished drawing him.
Grabbing one of the wedges Lilly offered from the bowl, he bit into one of the wedges.
The juice squirted out in several directions, which made Lilly laugh.
He was delighted with the noise, he loved to hear her laugh, it was throaty and addictive.
It mesmerised him as she used her thumb to wipe away the excess juice and then wipe her hands in the cloth napkin resting on her bare thigh.
Lilly was wearing a short shift dress that sat high on her thighs in her sitting position.
Elijah’s eyes darted to the gap between her thighs and only saw darkness.
He wasn’t sure if she were naked under her dress or not.
The excitement that she might be, made him twitch.
Finishing the orange wedge, he placed the peel in the bowl and took it from her.
Elijah put the bowl on the floor, pulled Lilly down onto the sofa and cuddled her close.
They lay still, Lilly on her side with a leg hitched over both of his and her hand resting on his stomach.
He could feel her warmth down his ribs and his legs, he felt content.
“Will you make love to me Elijah?” Lilly asked him.
“No,” Elijah said.
He snapped his answer without thinking, it sounded sharp and cold, he didn’t mean to sound so direct but he was taken by surprise. Lilly raised her head to look at him. She wore a frown and a face full of sadness.
“Why not? We’ve practically done everything else,” Lilly said.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Elijah answered.
“What’s the matter, should I let you wake up first? I didn’t realise making love was such a big deal. You’ve proposed marriage and have almost fucked me. You’ve been frustrated whenever we have been interrupted, why are you moody about it?” Lilly asked, irritated.
Elijah shifted slightly in his position to sit up but not let Lilly drop to the floor.
He thought he would have to tell her earlier, and he had his carefully prepared answers ready.
Now that Lilly was asking him now, his mind had lost the prepared answers, and all he was left with was the truth.
He was scared to death to tell her why he couldn’t make love to her when she asked.
He wasn’t ready to tell her the truth, he didn’t want to see the pity in her eyes.
He had moved past the embarrassment of it and had become proud of it.
Clambering over her prone body he stood naked before her.
Lilly’s face flicking from different emotions, concern, hurt.
Then lust when she glanced at his cock. This was the wrong time to tell her, he couldn’t utter the words, he had to leave.
“I can’t make love to you on demand Lilly, I’m not a machine, and I need to leave,” Elijah said.
“Ok, do you want to see your drawing?” Lilly asked.
“Not really, I didn’t ask you to do it, so it’s not for me, is it?” Elijah said.
Lilly reared back like she’d been slapped. Elijah hurriedly dragged on his jeans without his boxer briefs, he didn’t have time to find them. He could feel rage surge up in him, like he always did when his emotions ran high. He didn’t want to make things any worse.
“You don’t have to be an arsehole Elijah. I thought you might like to see it, but it doesn’t matter. Why don’t you want to make love to me?” Lilly asked.
“Because I don’t want to Lilly, I thought my tone told you that the first time,” Elijah yelled at her.
Lilly was standing by this point, and was frozen to the spot, her body not moving at all.
Elijah couldn’t even see her chest rise from breathing.
He kept staring at her, trying to control his anger, he wanted so much to sit her down and tell her why and they could work through it together but his instinct prevented him.
What possessed him to propose if he felt like this?
Elijah found his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, he felt better already that he was clothed.
“Look, Lilly I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Elijah said in a calmer tone. “I’m just not ready to tell you.”
“Get out Elijah,” Lilly said. Her demeanour had changed, and she was taller, sternness washed over her face. She’d turned into courtroom mode and she was in control. “You do not get to yell at me like that. Get out of my home.”
“I’m sorry Lilly, don’t be like this,” Elijah said.
“Tell me why you won’t fuck me?” Lilly asked.
“Don’t be crude, I’m not ready to tell you,” Elijah answered in an instant, it wasn’t the truth. He could tell her but his pride had kicked in.
“You can, Elijah, and you will if you still want me to marry you,” Lilly said.
“That’s ridiculous. You can’t hold that over my head, I’m sure there are things you’re not ready to tell me,” Elijah said.
“I will tell you anything you want to know, I will answer any question you ask, right here, right now. No secrets Elijah, tell me now or get out,” Lilly demanded.
Elijah looked around the room, he spotted the drawing over in the corner, and it was stunning.
Charcoal lines depicting his body, orange and red colouring for his tattooed chest. Lilly had drawn him perfectly and his heart melted that she had spent so much time on him.
He must’ve been asleep for quite a while for her to have finished.
“What time is it?” Elijah asked.
“I don’t care what the time is, what’s it to be?” Lilly said.
“Well I care what time it is as I have a job to go to, unlike some,” Elijah snapped and instantly regretted his words.
“Oh you’re in full-on charm mode, aren’t you? It’s seven thirty, now get out,” Lilly said.
Elijah watched as Lilly left the room, the air had turned cold and he wanted to find his jumper.
Looking around the room again, he found it folded on the chair next to Lilly’s artist stool.
He took a second look at the picture, close up this time.
It really was excellent, he was proud of her and delighted that she had drawn him so well.
Time wasn’t on his side if and he needed to leave. He didn’t believe that she didn’t want to marry him anymore, she was just reacting to his yelling. He knew he could be intimidating when he was angry and always tried his best not to show it.
Leaving the morning room, he walked through her apartment and didn’t see her in the semi-darkness, so went without saying goodbye. He would talk with her later, once the shift at Blue’s was under control, he would leave early and come back to speak to her. He just hoped that she would listen.