20. Elka
Chapter 20
Elka
E arly morning in Tulip was absolutely stunning. The sun lit up the sky like a rainbow—if a rainbow were made up of gorgeous jewel tones and fell over the most beautiful landscape ever created. I sighed the way I always did when the beauty of this place took me by surprise, and reached for my coffee only to find it cold. Again. A small smile touched my lips and for a moment, it felt like everything would be all right. It had to be if the view was so incredible, I forgot about my coffee.
“So you really do smile at everyone and everything but me.”
Another sign that the view was too gorgeous was that it allowed him to sneak up on me. “Good morning, deputy.” Why did he have to look so good even first thing in the morning? It just wasn’t fair. “Have you been exercising already?”
He flashed that stupid panty-melting grin and held up two coffees. “I went for a run. It’s nice and quiet this time of morning.”
“Yes, it is.” I eyed the coffee cups longingly, wondering if there was a way to accept one without inviting his company.
“Want one?” He smiled and I squeezed my knees shut against the pulse of desire that shot unexpectedly through me.
“Um, no.”
“Was that a question?” A smug Antonio was somehow even hotter—or maybe it was the coffee, because it certainly wasn’t the long golden fingers wrapped around the cup.
I snatched the coffee from him, ignoring the way his laughter sent goosebumps dancing over my skin. When that didn’t work, I blamed the coffee. “Thank you.”
“I figured you for a tea drinker.”
“You figured wrong,” I told him and took a sip of the hot black liquid. “Is this some sort of test, then?”
He frowned as if that would be so far out of the realm of possibility. “No, but I figured if anyone could change your mind about coffee, it would be Big Mama.”
“Well I’ve found that I love coffee and I drink it whenever I can.” That spark of interest in his eyes was my first clue that I’d shared too much with a man on a mission to run me out of town. Or maybe arrest me. At this point, I wasn’t sure anymore.
“Are your parents hippies or something?”
“I wish.” I snorted, having a momentary flash of what my life would have been like running through dirt and playing outside. I couldn’t imagine anything but the sterile environment that was my childhood. “They were very conscious of my health,” I said diplomatically. “But I’m sure you know that too.”
He ignored my last words, his gaze lost to the view in the distance. “Because of your brother?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “Because of Austin.” He was their reasoning but I never blamed Austin because I would have done anything for him. And I had.
“That must have been tough.”
It was moments like this that I resented my parents most because I couldn’t tell if Antonio was being genuine or taking a smoother attempt at getting information out of me. “It wasn’t easy.”
“I don’t think I could have made it after my dad died if it hadn’t been for my mom.” And there was my answer.
I stood, determined that my learning curve would be a small one. “You almost had me, Antonio. Thanks for the coffee.” The day was too early to be so soundly ruined, so I finished my coffee and sweated it out to a Zumba workout video before I headed downstairs and got to work processing more orders.
If nothing else, business was good.
“Your chopping time has improved.” I sat down at one side of the kitchen table to taste our third attempt at cooking chili together. Antonio refused to sit at the place setting on the other side of the table, choosing instead to sit right beside me.
“Thanks. I’ve been practicing.” He flashed a smile that was all boyish innocence that I didn’t buy for a second, but damn, it sure was nice to look at. “And if I hadn’t improved, you would have stop letting me come over.”
“Probably. But then I’d have to do the dishes all by myself.” Not that I minded doing the dishes; it was a mundane task that gave me plenty of time to think.
“So you’re using me? I’m wounded.” If I hadn’t seen Antonio pretend to pierce his own heart, I wouldn’t have believed it.
I didn’t believe this transformation for a second but I was choosing to accept him at face value until he gave me a reason to think otherwise. “I’m sure your ego is rock solid. The whole town does nothing but sing your praises.”
“That’s growing up in a small town for ya. Everyone knows your business and they spread it around, good or bad. But they’re quick to come help and everyone knows who you are. Everyone.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing but I can see in your eyes that you love it.” I would have loved to have all these people looking out for me as a kid. Or even just the two who brought me into the world.
“I hated it as a teenager when I just wanted to do dumb shit and kiss pretty girls.”
“Only kiss?”
He rolled his eyes but I detected a faint blush on his cheeks. “Sometimes more than kiss.” He shrugged. “It was like having a hundred brothers and sisters.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“It wasn’t.” His lips curled into a grin that did strange things to my body that I tried to ignore. “You know how that is, don’t you?”
“I do, actually. One year for New Year’s Eve, Austin and I were left alone while our parents went to a party. We bought a UFC fight and ordered pizza. The pizza was delicious because it was something we weren’t allowed to have, but the fight was gory and brutal and so bloody. We had so much fun.” The pizza hadn’t made him sick like Mom and Dad had insisted and that begun a monthly fight for pizza, which was, of course, my fault.
“Sounds like you two were close.”
The question didn’t seem probing but I opted for honesty. “We were. Losing him nearly broke me.” I still wasn’t sure it hadn’t.
“But it didn’t.” That sympathetic smile made me want to get to know the guy the rest of the town seemed to know. I liked the brief flashes of the nice guy I’d seen, but I hadn’t seen nearly enough of him.
“Austin would have hated it if I had. He even threatened to haunt me if I stopped living.” Said he’d cockblock me during lady time if I didn’t live for us both. “Some days I’m tempted to stop just so I can see him again.” It still hurt like hell to be without him and I didn’t know how long it would be until it started to hurt less.
Instead of offering trite words of comfort, Antonio ate a few spoonfuls of chili and groaned. “It’s perfect without the fixings, but this is Texas and we like our chili dressed up.”
“Kind of like your cowboy boots?” He laughed and, dammit, that sound—it was like a warm hug that quickly turned to something more.
“Not quite, but close.” Antonio winked and again it sent a shiver of awareness through me. I chose to ignore it, at least as much as I could.
We dressed our chili, me with sharp cheddar and jalapenos, and him with scallions, avocado, and lime. “How come you’re not the sheriff? I mean, other than your excellent people skills.”
He quirked a smile. “When I came back to Tulip after working homicide in New Orleans, I just wanted to work the everyday job of keeping people safe.”
“Homicide. That makes sense, actually. Everything about you has a ‘serious vibe’ to it.”
“It’s a pretty serious job and what passes for humor is dark. Really dark.” He shrugged it off, but I was starting to see the demons he carried. “What about you? Did you always want to do what you do?”
I laughed at the way he didn’t even try to put a name to my work. “No. I wanted to do something with computers, but I hadn’t decided yet, and then Austin got sick. It was my sophomore year and I never went back.” There was a look. It was there for only a second, but I saw it. “You assumed I dropped out or no, wait … failed out?” He didn’t answer, but the flash of guilt was unmistakable.
“I didn’t—”
“Oh, but you did. If you really want to know the truth Deputy Vargas, I had to leave school to give my brother a kidney to keep him alive. It’s the only reason why my parents wanted me around, and after that, they were terrified I’d pick up mono or something in the dorms, which meant I wouldn’t be well enough to help Austin. They said I could go back but I’d have to pay for it myself.” I stood and pushed away from the table, feeling tears well in my eyes even thinking about that day. The day I couldn’t keep pretending that my parents gave a damn about me. My feet moved and kept moving until I was in the safe confines of my bedroom, where I stayed until I was sure Antonio was gone.
Hours later, I found the kitchen cleaned, with the chili still cooling on the stove. I smiled. Maybe now that he knew the truth, Antonio would stop snooping into my life and accusing me of things.