Chapter 24
Sea of Memories
Mateo
We finish our pupusas, and I drive us in Holly’s car to the beach. I take a slight detour and pull into the drive through at Wendy’s and order two large chocolate Frostys.
Holly eyes them as I put them in the cup holder. I shake my head. “No touching. We’re eating these on the beach.”
Holly bites her lip and reaches out her fingers an inch from the cup. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. Trust me, you’ll enjoy it more at the beach.”
She considers my statement before nodding and turning back to the window.
I haven’t gone to the beach since we’ve been married, and this trip is long overdue. It feels special that my first time stepping foot on the sand since our wedding is with Holly. All future beach trips need to include Holly.
I pull into the parking lot and I roll the windows down. Crashing waves and salty air greet me like an old friend, bringing peace to my heart as I inhale the scent of the ocean. I pull into an open spot right next to the entrance.
Perfect parking spot at the perfect time of day. This evening keeps getting better and better.
The sun is just setting and we’ll have a good half hour of golden light and a gorgeous view.
Just to be clear, the gorgeous view is Holly in the golden light on the beach. Just in case anyone was wondering.
I put the car in park and Holly hops out the minute the engine shuts off.
I love when she lets me open her door, but I can also agree it’s not worth waiting for me in moments like this.
Moments where you want to soak in every golden second and breathe in the sea air.
Moments that remind you of the glorious life you’re living.
Holly’s practically bouncing as she walks around to the front of the car. Her tan high-waisted linen pants and tucked-in sage-green top blow in the breeze, the wind emphasizing her curves. She gives off peaceful beach vibes with every movement of her wavy blonde hair blowing in the breeze.
Holly takes a few steps away and turns, catching my eye. Her eyebrow arches as her lips smirk. She gestures for me to get out of the car.
Yep, my wife totally caught me admiring her. The woman who has no idea how deep my feelings for her are.
I grab the Frostys, their cold condensation grounding me in this surreal moment that feels like a dream, and follow in Holly’s footsteps. She looks free, all the weight on her shoulders blown away by the salty air.
My heart constricts at the thought of the burdens on Holly’s shoulders.
I’m best friends with Holly’s brother, but I don’t fully understand their relationship with their parents.
Alex told me they were alcoholics, and neglectful.
That they used the money he earned from his acting jobs to go on lavish vacations without their kids.
I know somewhat of how their actions affected Alex.
What did their actions do to Holly?
A fire flares in my chest at the thought of Holly’s parents hurting her, of them neglecting this beautiful woman who is so talented and amazing. How could they not see her? How could they not want to spend time with her?
I stop next to Holly about twenty yards from where the ocean waves roll in.
She smiles and grabs her Frosty and spoon out of my hand.
She smooths the sand in front of her with her foot before sitting down and folding her legs, propping her elbows on her knees, and shoveling a heaping amount of Frosty into her mouth.
I tolerate sand and I’d prefer sitting on a towel, but you will not see me running away from this romantic opportunity.
We’re silent as we eat and watch the sunset, its yellow and golds reflecting on the waves and wet sand.
I pop the last bite of melty chocolate goodness into my mouth and prop my arms up on my knees. I stare at the ocean and I let out the words that’ve been bursting to escape for the last ten minutes. “Holly, our marriage isn’t real-real, but I’d still like to get to know you better.”
In my peripheral, I see Holly freeze, her spoon halfway to her mouth. A look of nervousness crosses her face before she takes a bite. She’s swallows. “What do you want to know?”
“I know some of the simple things, like your favorite color is purple. I want to know everything about you. From simple things to what it was like for you growing up. Alex shared his version of things, but I’d like to know what it was like for you.”
She nods and takes another bite. She sticks her spoon in her cup and sets it aside, mimicking my posture.
Our shoulders brush and I admire the golden glow of her hair as she rests her chin on her arms. She pulls her hair from around her shoulders and tucks it on the side opposite from me.
Her eyes meet mine, her voice strained. “I don’t like talking about it.
It wasn’t fun. The only good thing about growing up was Alex. ”
I nod. I’m glad she answered my question, but I want more. “How’d growing up like that make you feel?”
She scoffs and stares at the ocean. Her eyebrows furrow as her lips turn down.
“You mean how did it make a preteen feel to be left alone with a housekeeper every day? To not have friends who could come over, and to never go on a vacation because your parents spent all the money traveling without you? How did it feel to be neglected and then criticized whenever your parents came home? Yeah. It felt great.”
She kicks the sand in front of her with her heel and buries her head in her arms.
I wince. Maybe that wasn’t the right discussion topic for our romantic date.
I reach over and rest my hand between her shoulder blades, rubbing a small circle on her back. “I’m sorry.”
Those two words don’t feel like enough.
She huffs a bitter laugh then lifts her head and directs her gaze at me. My hand falls to the sand behind her, bringing our bodies closer together.
“You don’t have to apologize, Mateo. It’s not your fault.” She shrugs. “At least now I have Alex and Reina. Reina is the sister I always wanted. Stanley and Momma T have adopted me as one of their own, and Hudson is the grandpa I wished for when I was younger.”
I want my name on that short list of people she calls hers.
“You’ll always have me.”
Her eyes match the sea in front of us, emotions tumbling and crashing, and all I want to do is dive in deep to discover her secrets.
My heart pounds, wanting to unleash my deepening feelings for Holly.
Feelings I’ve kept secret for two years.
Feelings that have grown stronger than I could have imagined in the past week.
There’s a tether pulling me to her, the glistening reflection of the sunset in her eyes drawing me in like a honeybee to a wildflower. Her face inches closer to mine.
It’s only when we’re a hand’s breadth away that I remember my promise:
The ball is in her court.
I pull back and wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her against my side. Her head lands on my chest. I can’t resist the draw of her coconut-scented hair and place a kiss on the crown of her head.
I need to be content with these small displays of affection.
Holly picks up her Frosty and continues to eat it as we watch the sun finish its descent. “You know, when Alex first said his new best friend was a farm boy, I didn’t picture you.”
I chuckle. “You didn’t picture my model-like figure in Wranglers? Or the sawdust in my hair that is every girl’s kryptonite? Wow, I’m surprised, Holly. How could you not picture all six feet of muscley hotness that is myself?”
She throws her head back, her hair falling over my arm, the silky tresses a welcome feeling as she laughs. She’s laughing so hard that the spoonful of Frosty that was on the way to her mouth catapults and lands on her pants.
I drop my arm and move to get up, knowing I have napkins in the car, but she reaches out, her hand stalling me.
She arches an eyebrow and a playful smirk crosses her lips. “Oh, are you trying to run away from me? Can’t handle a woman who drops Frosty onto her pants?”
“I was going to go get napkins.” I laugh and she shakes her head.
“No need.”
She smirks and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a small orange square. She rips it open and pulls out a wipe. She meticulously cleans the chocolate off her pants until all that remains is a damp spot on the fabric, leaving no chocolate stain.
I look her over. “What type of magic is this?”
She shrugs. “Tide to-go wipes. I take them with me everywhere I go because I have this unfortunate habit of spilling on myself. It was the bane of my mother’s existence that I didn’t have better table manners.”
“You have fantastic table manners when you eat at an actual table.” I nudge her shoulder and she laughs as she nudges me right back.
“I only have manners when in company that requires me to have them. The rest of the time, I don’t care.
My dry cleaning bill is quite low thanks to these handy dandy wipes that have saved me during many a solo chocolate or ice cream binge.
Or when I’m comfortable around someone and forget the rigidity of the elite. ”
I wrap my arm around her and pull her into my side again. She fits perfectly, and I could stay here forever. We watch as the ocean darkens, the blues and purples in the sky fading away. “I’m glad you feel comfortable around me, Holly.”
“I didn’t say that,” she teasingly whispers.
“You didn’t have to,” I mumble into her hair, memorizing the feeling of her in my arms here on the beach.
I can feel her smile as she leans her head on my chest. “You’re not what I expected, farm boy, but I’ll keep you around.”
“As you wish.” I place a kiss on the crown of her head.
I couldn’t have asked for a better first official date with my wife.