Chapter 28
Waltzing Into My Heart
Holly
My eyes roam over the room as I count the people I need to talk to before I can call it a night. I wish I could abandon my job and enjoy the evening with Mateo. The thought to quit my job flits through my head, and I let it linger—until my eyes catch a figure walking through a side door.
It’s Jorge.
I groan, turn, and bury my face in Mateo’s chest as much as I can without ruining my makeup.
“What’s wrong?” he whispers into my hair.
“Jorge is here,” I mutter.
He stiffens, and his grip on my waist tightens.
“Guess I’m not talking to the rest of my clients. Also we should text Alex and tell him we’re leaving.”
Mateo’s hand comes up, his fingers gently tilting up my chin until I’m looking into his gorgeous eyes. “Why do we need to leave?”
My thoughts are scrambled, distracted by his calloused thumb softly tracing the outline of my jaw. “Um, because I don’t want to deal with Mr. Toadflax. It’ll be less drama if we just leave.”
Mateo’s eyes, which look at me so tenderly, harden as he glances behind me.
I don’t need to turn around to know who he’s glaring at.
He doesn’t take his eyes off of Jorge, who I would consider his prey at this point, for how much Mateo wants to hunt the man down.
So he doesn’t see my reaction when the next words come out of his mouth.
“I’m your husband. I will never let another man intimidate you, hurt you, or violate your space again. ”
My jaw drops an inch and Mateo's gaze meets mine, softening as his eyes roam my face, landing on my gaping mouth. “Are you trying to tempt me to kiss you?”
I sputter. “What? No.”
Mateo chuckles as his thumb caresses my bottom lip. A thunderstorm of emotions riot within me, and I can still feel the touch of his finger as he maneuvers us toward the dance floor. “Come dance with me before I break my promise not to kiss you until you ask me to.”
There’s a waltz playing, which is lucky for me because it’s the only dance I’m good at. My parents had my brother and me learn ballroom dances, but I never picked up on any of them like I did the waltz.
Hold on—does Mateo know the waltz? I thought ballroom dancing skills were a lost art among our generation.
My question is answered as Mateo steps in front of me. He positions my hand on his arm, and he holds me in a perfect waltz position, as if he’s a professional dancer. Then he pulls me closer, a change that I’m not complaining about.
Ballroom dancing spikes my anxiety. It’s hard to relax when your brain is overthinking the steps, what to talk about with your dance partner, and if dancing with them is sending them the wrong signals about how interested—or uninterested—you are.
With Mateo, my anxiety is silent, soothed by how natural it feels to be his dance partner.
It’s like a cat purring at being held in his arms, guided by expert steps, and content bathing in the scent of Mateo, which I will never stop obsessing over.
He adjusts to every movement I make as he twirls me around with care.
I don’t bump into any other dancers as we circle the room.
It feels like a miracle, how fluidly we move together.
I avoid looking into Mateo’s eyes, afraid of his hypnotic power and the romanticness of dancing together.
The walls around my heart are crumbling tonight, and my mind clings to the last bricks of resolve not to fall for my husband.
My excuses seem flimsy to my heart, but I’m not sure I'm ready to let go of them. I may be unbelievably comfortable dancing with Mateo, but my anxiety about the future isn’t tamed by his swoony dance moves yet.
My eye catches on Jorge across the room. He glares daggers at me. I avert my gaze and notice the pattern we’re moving in. Wherever we are, Jorge is on the opposite side of the room from us. When he moves, we move.
My knees go weak as I realize Mateo is expertly twirling me around the room so we keep our distance from Jorge. Bricks tumble away with each twirl of my skirt.
In Mateo’s arms, I feel safe and treasured. I feel important, like I matter, and that he’s doing this for me because he wants to, not out of some obligation.
My breath catches as I look up at Mateo.
I catalog the neatly trimmed scruff, the crinkle lines at the corner of his eyes, and how he’s taken care to tame his curls tonight, their twirls defined with product.
All of this, he’s done for me. He’s wearing a suit for me, and dancing across a ballroom floor with people I know he doesn’t understand or care for.
For me.
My heart overflows with gratitude for a loving God who sent Mateo to me. There is no other way I can explain how we ended up here without attributing it to the hand of God.
My heart feels free. Open to love and to this relationship in a way I’ve never felt. My reservations have left the room, and I’m not welcoming them back.
I watch as Mateo’s jaw flexes. His hand puts pressure on my shoulder blades, turning me as we waltz in a different direction. “Where did you learn to waltz like this, Mateo?”
Mateo’s jaw relaxes as he looks down at me briefly before returning to his vigilant scanning of the room.
“Your sister-in-law, actually. Reina wanted to learn how to ballroom dance in high school. She recruited me to be her partner. I was unwilling at first, but then she got Momma T to make cookies for me. Learning to dance for cookies seemed like an easy yes to me. Then it came in handy during my years in my fraternity. It was a skill I used to impress the ladies, and prove that I was more than a mere farm boy. When I went back to the farm, I never thought I’d use it again. Now, I’m very glad I learned.”
His eyes meet mine. The intense look of adoration has my heart racing and heat spreading throughout me. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever danced with, Holly.”
I savor the words, but can’t help but doubt what he said. My insecurities blast away my confidence in Mateo’s feelings. “I’m no Reina, and I’m sure the sorority girls looked much better than me.”
Mateo’s eyebrows draw together and his lips tip down.
“Stop doing that, Holly. Stop putting yourself down. You are just as gorgeous as every woman in this room. In fact, you’re more so because you’re kind.
You are a daughter of God with divine worth.
Holly, you take my breath away, no matter if you’re dressed up like you are tonight, or when you walk into the kitchen with your hair sticking out at different angles.
You, all of you, from your head to your toes, is perfect and beautiful.
Please try to believe me when I say there is no other woman who compares to you in my eyes. Please don’t diminish your worth.”
My eyes sting and my knees go weak. My heart is in my throat, and I swallow before whispering, “Do you mean it?”
Mateo twirls me to the edge of the dance floor. We stop and he steps close until only a hand’s breadth separates us. His eyes stare down into my eyes, and I've never seen him look so serious. “Every. Word. I mean every single word, Holly."
His hand on my shoulder blades drops to my waist as he pulls me against him. He lets go of my hand only for his calloused palm to cradle my jaw, his thumb caressing my cheekbone.
I blink away my tears. I didn’t wear my waterproof mascara, which was a mistake because this man seems to always bring me to tears with his words.
Mateo's eyes beg me to ask him to kiss me.
I’m tired and done listening to the voice inside my head that says to protect my heart. It’s the same voice that says I’m unlovable, unattractive, and not worth a good man’s time. That voice is a liar.
I’m lost in Mateo’s gaze, and I’m ready to be lost in his embrace. “Kiss me,” I murmur as my hands move from his chest to around his neck.
Mateo’s smile is blinding in its brilliance, but instead of closing the distance between us, he steps back and my arms fall to my sides.
His face is full of mischief as he grabs my hand. “Come with me.”
Mateo guides us through the crowds until we reach a set of doors that lead outside.
He opens the door and we walk down the pebbled path to the gardens.
I’m tripping in my heels, trying to keep up with him.
Excitement builds within my chest the further we get away from the crowds.
The noise of the party fades as we take a path down a row of rose bushes.
Mateo finally stops when the path opens, a fountain in the center, and benches placed around the walkway.
No one is around, thankfully, because I let out a gasp as Mateo grips my waist and lifts me onto a decorative stone lining the edge of the area.
I grip his shoulders as I balance in my heels. We’re the same height and I’m in love with looking him straight in the face without craning my neck. “You didn’t have to pick me up.”
His smile is more of a smirk, and his hands, which haven’t left my waist, hold me tighter as he closes the distance between us.
“I love surprising people. I’ve held back since we’ve been married, but this is your warning.
Expect many surprises in your future. I thought pranking was fun, but surprising you feels even more rewarding.
Don’t be surprised if one day I walk into your office and throw you over my shoulder so I can kidnap you for a day away from work, my little workaholic.
You need more adventure in your life, mi vida. ”
I shake my head. The thought of Mateo picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder is ridiculous. He'd probably have to see my chiropractor afterward.
Mateo presses his forehead against mine, and I feel his breath on my lips as he speaks. “No. I know exactly what that voice inside your head is trying to tell you. Don’t listen to it. I can pick you up, and I will pick you up. You are not too big. You are perfect. You are divine.”
How does he read me so well? How does he know the exact words to say to combat the insidious voice in my head?
His nose brushes against mine. “I’m going to kiss you now, Holly.
I’m going to kiss you because of who you are.
The workaholic, devoted sister, and gentle-hearted woman.
That’s who I’m kissing. That’s why I’m kissing you.
It’s just a bonus that I think you’re drop-dead gorgeous.
” He keeps one arm around my waist while the other comes up to cradle my face, mimicking our stance from inside the ballroom.
My eyes close as I feel him draw closer, his breath caressing my cheek.
His lips brush against my cheek. Light kisses create a trail of fire from my cheekbone to my lips. He pulls back enough to whisper, “Beautiful,” before his mouth is on mine.
Each tender touch shatters my insecurities to pieces. With each kiss, a self-doubting statement is written over with a word of devotion whispered by Mateo as his mouth adores mine.
I wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers lost in Mateo’s luscious curls as I pull him closer. With each kiss, I try to convey what his words mean to me.
It’s as if with each kiss my soul is healed.
Our kisses aren’t rushed or frenzied. They’re purposeful and tender, with all the newfound feelings of a relationship. It’s almost reverent the way Mateo kisses me. All of his focus is on our lips, as they wordlessly express his feelings.
After several moments, we break apart and Mateo wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. My mind and heart are reeling, unmoored and swimming in the ocean of the feelings for Mateo I’ve avoided until tonight.
I’m overwhelmed by the depths of these feelings that feel new, and yet achingly familiar.
We’ve been married for a mere handful of weeks, and yet I don’t know how to go back to a life without Mateo.
Everything feels different after that kiss.
I feel different, changed in a way that can never be undone.
Panic races through me, freezing my limbs as the future wells before me, the unknown standing as an intimidating sentinel.
A desperate plea escapes my heart, asking God for guidance.
Immediately, peace washes over me, thawing my panicked body. My heart beats like a drum as my chest warms with a love that I can’t explain. It’s as if God is saying that everything will be alright. That Mateo is right for me, and being together is meant to be.
I cling to the peaceful feeling as I rest my head against Mateo’s. I inhale his comforting pine wood scent as I embrace the myriad of emotions and cling to the feeling of peace. My fingers weave themselves into his hair. He holds me as I bask in the feeling of being wanted and cared for.