17. Chapter 17
Chapter seventeen
Tallahassee
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to risk losing Darren to Vincent’s lies. He’s already taken enough away from me. But the time has come, and there’s no other choice. Darren deserves to know the truth.
My RV is only a few years old, so it has all the modern amenities—sleek couches, a booth-style dining table, a TV and sound system. The kitchen is equipped with a stove, oven, fridge, and microwave. The bedroom even has an en-suite bath with a decent-sized shower.
It’s fully self-contained with its own water storage and powered by a combination of propane and solar panels. There’s also a compact washer and dryer. I have to take the bed linens to the laundromat, but it’s big enough for everything else.
I gauge Darren’s reaction, watching him glance around and take it all in.
He turns a small smile my way. “This is fantastic.”
He seems sincere. But I don’t know if he’s being truthful, trying to distract me, or only being polite.
“From the outside, you’d never know how big it is inside. It’s nicer than some of the apartments I’ve lived in.” He faces me, amused. “You drive this thing?” he asks, sounding impressed.
I’m happy for the reprieve, wanting to delay this conversation as long as possible. “Yeah. I don’t like driving it on city streets, turns can be tricky, but out on the open road, it’s awesome.”
“I’m impressed. What is it, thirty-five feet?”
“Forty.”
Sure, I basically live in a tricked-out bus, and it might not be the most popular choice, but it’s still my home. So I’m happy when he doesn’t make fun of it, or me.
“Do you want to sit?” I ask, gesturing toward what passes for my living room.
“Sure.”
I move us to the couch where we sit close together. Not knowing how he’ll react to this conversation, I’m nervous and afraid.
I know he sees it when he takes my hand in his. “Of course, I want to know what’s going on, Tallahassee. But I’m not going to force you to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
I worry my bottom lip.
His big hand squeezes mine. “Can you tell me what’s holding you back?”
My fear keeps the words lodged in my throat. I’m so scared he’ll look at me differently. Treat me differently. Feel differently about me.
He doesn’t push me. Doesn’t demand an answer.
“You can tell me as much or as little as you want.”
My heart is racing. It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything. That I’ve allowed myself to feel anything.
Our gazes lock. The air crackles between us as we stare deep into each other’s eyes. Like a lightning strike, I realize how desperately I want him. It’s a need beyond reason. Beyond yearning or desire.
When I cup his cheek, his hazel eyes stay pinned to mine. I feel my heart cracking open when he leans into my touch. My thumb strokes over the coarseness of his scruff-covered cheek.
I ease closer. “I’ll tell you the whole story. I promise. But if everything’s going to be different between us tomorrow, then I want tonight with you.”
His eyes drop to my mouth. I lean in, pressing my lips against his. Years of pent-up sexual frustration and fantasies about Darren pour into that kiss.
He takes control, letting his lips and tongue taste and tease. He kisses me with confidence and passion. Having no other choice, I surrender to him. Kissing him eagerly. Savoring his mouth. Loving the taste and solid warmth of his body against mine.
When he breaks the kiss, I’ve somehow ended up straddling his lap, acutely aware of the unmistakable hardness of his arousal. I’m dazed and breathless.
“Do that again.”
His fingers dig into the flesh of my ass and he obliges, kissing me with intent. He buries his hand in my hair, changing the angle to get closer, go deeper.
This time when he pulls away, both of us are breathing together in the same short and shallow cadence.
“I want this, Tallahassee, more than you can imagine. But I need to know it’s what you want too. That you’re not doing this for any other reason than you want me.
“You just faced your nemesis and had a panic attack. I have to know you’re not using me because you’re scared. I need to know you’re thinking clearly.”
Afraid he might walk away, I’m quick to ease his doubts, “I’m thinking clearer than I have in a long, long time.
When I’m with you, I feel safe.” Confessing my deepest desires out loud, my voice is soft and uncertain.
“I do want this. I want you, Darren. So much. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in my entire life.
Ever. Make me feel something again. Please. ”
A gravelly growl, like a rumble of thunder, vibrates in his chest. With me still in his arms, he stands and carries me to my king-sized bed.
His big hands slip underneath my shirt, coasting up the bare skin of my back.
The fire of his touch sends a spike of need through me.
He kisses me again, his tongue sweeping against mine.
When he nuzzles my neck, placing a soft kiss to that perfect spot under my ear, then nips my earlobe, my whole body shivers.
I’ve fantasized and dreamed of this moment with Darren.
After isolating and guarding myself for so long, I’m way outside my comfort zone and should be freaking out.
But instead, my pulse is thrumming. Feelings, long suppressed and dormant, trigger my body to come alive for the first time in years.
Whatever happens tomorrow, I’ll carry the memory of this night with him.
This moment will be imprinted on my brain and body forever.
He takes his time undressing me, lust and desire simmering in his hazel eyes as he blazes a trail of kisses across my bare skin. When my legs are exposed, his fingers drift delicately over my tattoo: Olympic rings inked high on the outside of my right thigh.
Once he’s stripped me out of my clothes, he takes in every inch of me in a slow, appreciative appraisal.
His intense gaze lights my skin on fire.
“You’re staring,” I whisper.
“Hard not to. You’re perfect. I don’t take it lightly that I get to see you like this.”
The feeling of his big, rough hands skating up my ribcage is decadent. When he palms my breasts, thumbs teasing my nipples, I arch into his touch. His eyes come back to mine with a sultry grin.
“I love how responsive you are to me,” he says, leaning down to kiss me.
Without breaking the kiss, he pushes me backward, settling his big, heavy body over mine.
Reaching behind his head, he yanks his shirt off. My breath hitches at the first sight of his wide chest with a smattering of soft hair.
While he strips off the rest of his clothes, I drink in his sculpted muscles—his broad chest, washboard abs, and muscular thighs.
My eyes move lower, taking in his jutting erection, so magnificently stiff and flushed.
A drop of precum seeps from the tip. I can’t resist rubbing my thumb through it, spreading it over the head.
His cock twitches under my touch, his eyes drifting closed, a husky groan of pleasure vibrating through his chest. He pulls me close, kissing me. Taking his time consuming me until I’m breathless and feeling drugged.
I’m dizzy with desire. My body is putty in his talented hands.
All my synapses are overloading, firing at once.
My pulse is flying. My skin tingles with a thousand pinpricks of awareness.
The throbbing between my legs is so deliciously intense.
I’m trembling with raw hunger, greedy for more. More of him. More of his touch.
Easing closer, sliding the pad of his finger across my clit, he slips two fingers inside me. “So wet for me.” His voice is a lust filled, smoky growl.
“Darren.” His name is a sigh. A plea. A benediction.
His eyes burn. Twin pools of hazel intensity. “What is it, baby? What do you need?” he asks, his fingers moving rhythmically in and out of me.
My hips lever against his hand. “I want to feel you inside me.”
He pulls his fingers free. My eyes track the movement when he slips them into his mouth, licking them clean. The sight of it mingled with the lascivious look in his eyes solicits another moan from me.
Passion and lust smolder as Darren sheaths himself with a condom. Thank God he had one, otherwise it might’ve been awkward. After years of celibacy, I’ve got no supplies on hand.
He strokes his rigid cock from base to tip, dragging the swollen head along my clit and against my entrance. “Is this what you want, Tallahassee?”
I lift my hips with an enthusiastic whimper. Anticipation twists and curls through me like wildfire. “Yes.”
He doesn’t need any additional encouragement. He drives forward, sinking every inch of his big cock deep inside me. Lust slams into me so potent I have to fight for air. My lips part with a whimper that devolves into a groan.
“God, you feel so good.”
Instinct drives me. My body responds to his with wild abandon. The sounds coming out of me are primal. Animalistic. We breathe each other in, our gasps and moans melding together as the deep roll of his hips finds a rhythmic pace.
I feel him everywhere. His weight over me. His heady, masculine scent surrounding us. His cock gliding in and out of me. The heat of his skin against mine is going to burn me alive.
He kisses along my jaw and throat, working his way to my collarbone. My head tips to the side, encouraging him to continue his erotic onslaught.
He moves with a sinuous finesse. Every snap of his powerful hips, every thrust of his cock, brings me that much closer to the ecstasy I’m chasing. My legs wrap around him, my thighs clenching against his waist. I cling to his shoulders, my blunt fingernails digging into the muscles of his back.
He hooks my left leg in the crook of his elbow, lifting it higher, allowing him to sink deeper. My head drives into the pillow.
Safe in Darren’s embrace, I let go. My brain shuts off. I’m no longer thinking. All I can do is savor the way he makes me feel and the pleasure he’s giving me.
My back bows. Sweet shocks flood through me in feverish waves of pleasure, my body clenching around him in a rhythmic pulse. Crying out his name, I fall apart in his arms.
He responds with a sound of satisfaction from deep in his throat.
As my orgasm continues to roll through me, his hips stutter, his smooth thrusts faltering. His neck muscles strain. After a few more erratic thrusts, he’s coming too, and it’s a beautiful sight.
Both of us are panting, our breath coming hard and fast.
He buries his face in the crook of my neck. “Fuck.”
Something between a laugh and a sob punches out of me, my arms wrapping tightly around him. “That was unbelievable.”
He kisses me in response, his tongue delving into my mouth. With the perfect amount of pressure, it sweeps against mine over and over again.
I release a happy, contented sigh. “It’s official. I’m never leaving this bed.”
He gives me one of his breath-stealing smiles. “I’m completely on board with that,” he tells me, placing a kiss to my forehead.
And just like that, I’m undone by this man.