33. Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
Tallahassee
Since Darren broke up with me, life has been moving on autopilot. Over the next week, the world begins to feel different. My pain is so raw it hurts to breathe.
I can’t escape my memories. Every song I hear makes me think of him. With his ghost lingering, going to work becomes difficult. Every nook and cranny of my RV is a reminder. I even begin to have visions of him there—an apparition conjured by my imagination, sent to haunt me.
I exist on the slippery slope of my recollections.
Every memory drives home what I now know I’ll never have.
I miss him so much. Emptiness devours me.
My constant misery stalks me like a shadow.
The world keeps spinning, people go about their business around me, but I’m detached and untethered.
Life is dull and colorless, and I’m nothing but a zombie staggering among the living.
I’ve never felt such powerful feelings for anyone. Somehow, he stripped away all my defenses. It was the last thing I expected. It came out of nowhere and clobbered me over the head. I never meant for it to happen, but I fell in love with him. Now all I feel is heartbreak.
I don’t blame Darren. How could I? If it wasn’t for me, he wouldn’t be in this predicament, and his life wouldn’t be in chaos.
And his plight seems to get worse and worse, escalating my guilt and remorse. Like this morning when I saw the article in the Navy Times. It doesn’t mention Darren by name, but the article describes a tier-one operator under indictment for beating and nearly killing four men…
Who else could it be about?
I’m currently on my way to meet up with Darren’s dad to strategize a plan. Ralph’s suffering as much as I am, albeit in a different way. But we seem to be the only two who refuse to sit back and do nothing. If there’s any way I can help Darren, I have to do it.
I owe him that.
When Ralph opens the door, I step over the threshold and give him a hug. “How is he?”
He only shakes his head, and my heart sinks. “C’mon inside.”
His dog, Lady, stands at his side, observing me.
I follow him and stop short. I’m taken aback but thrilled to see the rest of Darren’s team already gathered in the living room. They’re taking a huge risk violating the Navy’s no-contact order by being here together, willing to talk about Darren’s case.
Their loyalty is touching.
Clearly, I’m late to the party and they’ve already been discussing things without me.
“What do we know?” I ask, shrugging off my sweater and dropping my purse before taking a seat.
Ralph’s response is solemn. “They’ve offered him a plea deal. It allows him to keep some of his benefits.”
“What the fuck?” Pony bristles.
“When did that happen?” Hawk adds.
Their outburst is justified.
“But he has to plead guilty, and it ruins his career.”
Stressed, I massage my temples. “It means he won’t be a SEAL anymore, right?”
Ralph rubs his lips together and gives an almost imperceptible nod. “He’d have to admit to reckless endangerment and accept a less-than-honorable discharge. His JAG says it’s a generous offer and proves they want a quick settlement.”
“Bullshit,” I snap. “All that proves is they want Darren to go away.”
The team nods their agreement.
“His JAG is encouraging him to take the deal,” Ralph tells us.
“Has he decided what he’s going to do?” Nitro wants to know.
“He’s refusing it,” Ralph informs us.
“Which means what?” I ask.
“The case will move forward,” Pony says. “He’ll be held over for trial.”
“A military judge will oversee his trial proceedings, and the jury will consist of eight military members,” Hawk explains. “Of the eight, three of them will be enlisted and two battle-tested. But it will only take six to convict him.”
“Pardon my French, but what in the actual fuck!?” I explode. “
I’m not the only one pissed off, Ricochet jumps in next to voice his outrage. “Are they going to ignore he was preventing a gang rape?” He twists toward me, his hand gentle on my arm. “Sorry, Tallahassee.”
I shake my head. “No, you’re right. It doesn’t seem like they care about that. I don’t understand why his lawyer won’t talk to me. I can testify and clear all this up.”
“All those ops,” Doc mutters. “All the sacrifices he’s made. All the ways he could have gone out, and this is what’s going to be the fight of his life.”
“Rolling with him has been the best years of my life.” Nitro’s dismal comment sounds a lot like admitting defeat.
“So you’re all going to surrender and give up on him?” There’s no mistaking the venom and frustration in my voice. “Never out of the fight. That’s a SEAL thing, right? I thought quitting wasn’t in your skill set.”
Hawk ignores my rant. “It’s not. But there’s a bigger problem.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “Another problem? What the hell else could go wrong?”
The six of them look at each other, silent communication passing between them.
My eyes ping pong from one to another, trying to figure out who’s going to deliver the bad news. “What? What is it?”
Pony leans forward, his elbows resting on his thighs, his hands clasped between his knees. “Those four assholes are saying you were with them voluntarily. That Warlock attacked them because he was jealous.”
“Because of that,” Hawk adds, “they’ve upped the charges to four counts of attempted murder.”
I gasp, my hand flying to my chest. An enormous boulder-sized ball of anger settles in my stomach.
“It gets worse. The men who attacked you aren’t just rich, they’re uber rich,” Doc explains. “One of them is Brett Abernathy’s son.”
“You’ve got to be joking. Brett Abernathy?
” I push to my feet and start to pace, needing to work off some of the anxious energy that threatens to swallow me.
“Even so, there’s proof they attacked me.
You guys saw that cop drive me to the hospital.
There are records from the ER. Pictures. Exam results.”
“We didn’t see the attack,” Ricochet corrects gently. “Only the aftermath. And Warlock’s JAG thinks everyone will believe we’ve gone shields up.”
“Shields up? What’s that?”
“They think we’ll fabricate an alternative narrative, that we’ll say anything to protect Warlock,” Pony explains.
“Unfortunately, there’s one more upsetting piece of information,” Ralph’s reluctant pause concerns me. “In his deposition, the cop said you were gone when he arrived. And according to Warlock’s JAG, all the paperwork from the hospital has disappeared.”
This nightmare just won’t end. They’re going to destroy Darren’s life with lies.
Once again, the truth doesn’t matter. I’m sickened by the injustice of it.
“The bastards are going to cover it up and railroad him,” I say softly.
Feeling my distress, Ralph’s dog, Lady, sits at my feet and whines.
I squat and rub her bald head, reassuring us both.
“Yep. And we’re supposed to sit by and watch while the train runs him down,” Ricochet aptly points out.
Nitro grunts his agreement.
“The Navy doesn’t want Darren’s story getting out,” Pony says. “They’ve issued a total media blackout. No one will be allowed to attend his trial. No gallery. No family. No teammates. Not until the verdict is announced.”
They all look as miserable as I feel.
“With the no-contact order, this is the last time we can risk all of us being together. If we got caught, it would make things worse for all of us,” Doc adds in a solemn tone.
“So what’s the plan?”
“There isn’t one,” Nitro announces unhappily. “There’s nothing we can do.”
“Nothing? What do you mean there’s nothing we can do? He’s your friend. Your team leader, and you’re abandoning him? He’s all alone. No one is doing anything to help him!” My voice shakes. “Your greatest weapon is each other. There has to be something we can do.”
“With these rich fuckers involved, we’ve got eyes all over us,” Pony explains. “If we try to do anything, they’ll know, and we could be court-martialed.”
I’m doing my best to remain calm and clear-headed, but I’m failing miserably. “He has to fight this. What about me? I can testify they’re all lying.”
“He wants you to stay out of it, Tallahassee,” Ralph tells me. “He doesn’t want you involved.”
A swirling vortex of emotions threatens to suffocate me. “I don’t care what that stubborn man wants! How the hell am I supposed to stay out of it when this is all my fault?”
“No, Tallahassee,” Hawk says firmly. “You’re not to blame.”
“How can he say he doesn’t want me involved?” I fall onto the couch in a huff. “I am involved. I’m his best chance.”
Another one of those all-knowing looks passes between them. Ralph moves to sit next to me and takes my hand. “Because of your history, his JAG believes your testimony would hinder rather than help his case.” His expression is sympathetic. “I’m so sorry, Tallahassee.”
Which means they all know about my past. Well, isn’t that great.
I’m Darren’s best and, apparently, only chance. Except I can’t help him because my falsified backstory doesn’t just make me toxic, it also makes me fatal.
“So they get away with it!? And they send Darren to prison as part of the cover up?”
The irony and heartbreak of him being robbed of his life’s work isn’t lost on me. I can’t be the reason he loses his Trident and his freedom. I can’t let him spend years in prison because of me.
I just can’t. All I can think about is helping him. Saving him.
A white-hot fury explodes behind my ribs and floods my bloodstream.
People search their whole lives for purpose. Darren was lucky enough to find his, but now wealthy, unscrupulous assholes are working to steal it from him. I can’t let that happen. I have to do something.
Darren can push me away all he wants. But I’ll be damned if I sit back and do nothing.
“Fuck this. The Navy doesn’t control me.
” I jump to my feet, shove my arms into my sweater, and grab my purse.
“All of you can abandon him if you want. You can follow the Navy’s bullshit rules.
But I cannot, I will not, stand by and do nothing!
The bad guys are not going to win. I refuse to let that happen… again.”
I know the accusations I’m hurling at them are unfounded and unfair, but I can’t help myself.
I spin and march for the door.
“Tallahassee!” Their calls follow me.
I don’t slow down, don’t turn around.
For the first time since Darren’s arrest, I feel something other than grief. I feel determination. I know what I have to do, and as much as I hate the thought of it, no one is going to stop me.