Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Ella
vicious - Tare McRaw
F irst class of criminal law of the year. The mere fact of being in here brings a glacial feeling to my bones, but today, I get to add another worry to my list.
The fact that my father died yesterday, and my family is indebted to the Silent Circle.
Since they all wanted to treat me like a child and kick me out of the room, I acted like one and listened behind closed doors. I heard everything. The initiations, my mother’s pleas. How adamant she is to marry me into the Circle to save this family. And Chris’s refusal to bring me to the initiations.
How much did my dad owe his investors?
How bankrupt are we, truly?
What are the real consequences?
They won’t kill all of us... Or else who’s going to pay?
Most of the men in the Silent Circle are millionaires, some billionaires. Is it really about the money? Or is it about teaching us a lesson?
I only have one thing to hold on to. That Luke will get an invite to the initiations and become a Shadow. Then it’ll all be fixed.
The choking feeling mixes with another stress that’s been brewing in my chest. Chris is in Stoneview. How long is he staying for? He’s in his second year of law school; I’m sure he has better things to do than staying here to support my family. He might be Luke’s best friend, but he’s got a life.
He has to go back to Yale. I need him to leave.
I hear whispers behind me as I sit down in the third row. I’m used to whispers about me, but not that strange feeling that I’m about to catch them bitching.
“It’s good she’s in this class. She can learn how to get her family out of prison,” one of the voices murmurs.
The other one giggles before they add, “Are you sure? She’s not the brightest tool in the box. I think she’ll be kicked out of this class at the next selection.”
I snap my head around, narrowing my eyes on the two bitches.
“My dad died. Could you give me a minute to mourn before I have to deal with you two?”
Their faces fall. It seems they didn’t know. This is the real secret about ruling, isn’t it? Never do it by fear. Take them by the guts. Twist their feelings. If being sweet doesn’t work, pity will do for now.
“Oh my god, Ella. I’m so sorry, I had no idea.” The one who initiated the conversation blushes.
“For fuck’s sake,” I snort. “Aren’t you the president of Take Care, Be Well?”
Her face turns a new shade of red. That’s the wellbeing club associated with the mental health services on campus. “You’re a pathetic hypocrite, and you don’t deserve your position.”
“Please, don’t tell them,” she blurts out. “I’m sorry.”
I roll my eyes and face forward again. I’m not going to tell her club anything, but she can spend the next few days wondering if I will.
It’s too early, but I’m already dying to mention to Luke that I want to change major again. I wonder if my dad’s death will give me that option. Initially, it was my brother’s idea to put me in law. The second he told that to my father, my fate was sealed. But unlike my dad, Luke didn’t do it to hurt me or control me. He did it because he was too scared I’d have no future and end up as a Shadow’s wife. He wanted me to have some sort of independence from the Circle, so I would be protected and never have to rely on them. That’s why he’s so desperate to find a solution that doesn’t include marrying me into the society.
My stomach is painfully clenched by the time Professor Reeves enters the small room.
This is not a big college amphitheater welcoming any student who wants to attend his class. This is elite education by a sought-after professional who teaches two classes a week to the smartest undergrads who know they want to get into law school. I must stay in his class until the end of undergrad if I ever want to achieve the right score on my LSATs.
There are over fifty of us right now, but it’s highly possible there will only be forty or less in two weeks. And I’ve got to be part of them no matter what.
I can’t believe sex only bought me two weeks.
“Welcome back,” he says flatly as he walks to the front of the class. “It’s nice to see a few of you made it to another year with me. Congratulations.”
His eyes scan the class, and the second he sees me, the corner of his mouth tips up. Worse, when he sees the girl three spots away from me, that same smile comes back. I snap my head to the side, catching her blushing as she puts her hair behind her ears.
Holy shit. Holy fucking… I’m not the only one. What an asshole.
Putting his bag on the desk, he pulls out some documents he printed and holds the stack in his hand before walking to the front and leaning back against it.
“Before we start, I’d like to introduce you to this year’s assistants. Yes, assistants. You heard that right. While I usually hire one person from second or third year of law school, you’d do yourself a favor learning now that if you’re the best, it pays. This first year has worked hard, and she deserves her spot on my team. My second assistant is a second-year transfer, and he’s been highly recommended by his professors at Yale. I’m pleased to introduce you to Rose White and Christopher Murray.”
For a second, the reality of the situation doesn’t even register. Because fate can’t be that cruel…right?
But then I turn around at the same time as the other students because, just like them, I hadn’t noticed the two people standing at the back by the door. My heart is beating so hard it could break my rib cage. I feel the blood draining from my face as they walk past me, only to stop when they’re by Reeves. I have to blink multiple times. I’m in such shock I can barely feel my limbs.
He transferred to SFU.
“As you know, my assistants don’t spend much time in my undergraduate classes; however, since I have double the staff this year, you are welcome to contact either of them to help with your work. One will always be present during my office hours and both are more than capable to help you.” He keeps talking about them being in today’s class since it’s his first class of the year…something else…I don’t know.
I want to run away. I need to leave this room because I can barely breathe in it. But I can’t leave Reeves’s class. I would never be allowed to come back. I don’t even think my legs would hold me anyway.
I keep my eyes glued to my notebook for his whole speech while he talks about the first case he wants us to look at. I write words I barely register. I don’t think anything I take down has meaning. My writing is shaky, my hand trembling. I’m scared I’ll faint any second now. But under no circumstance can I look up at Chris.
That’s until I feel his presence right by me. And I can’t avoid it anymore. I know it’s him distributing the printed document and putting one on my desk because I smell his delicious cologne too close to me.
Sweet orange and cedar wood.
Shit. Shit.
He smells so good.
One of my hands is so tightly closed into a fist, I’m unsure I’ll ever be able to open it again. This is too much.
I think I’m near hyperventilation when I look up, my face feeling numb and my pulse thundering in my ears.
He acknowledges me so simply. Nothing on his face or in his eyes. While he’s walking to the next student and the paper is set on my desk, his hand lingers until his fingertips almost hold on to it before releasing. Then he drops his arm back by his side like nothing happened.
Of course, nothing happened to the outside eye. And yet mine are stuck where his fingers just were, my heart threatening to explode.
Such a terrifying reaction to a delicate gesture.
I feel his eyes on me during the rest of the class. Nothing of what Reeves says absorbs, and I’ve probably read the sentence I’m looking at about ten times by the time I feel a strong presence stop in front of my desk, unmoving.
“Miss Baker.”
My head snaps up at Reeves’s stern voice. That’s when I realize everyone else is gone.
“Class has ended.”
Behind Reeves, standing by his desk, both Rose and Chris are looking at me. Rose’s head is tilted to the side, confused. I look back at Reeves before I can analyze what Chris’s pinched eyebrows mean. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know anything .
A zap of electricity runs down my spine, and I stand up, packing my stuff in a split second. “I’m so sorry. I was?—”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Not writing down homework, that’s for sure. Did you hear what I want you to do with the case study I gave you?”
The case study. That must have been what was on the printouts. The heat creeping up my chest burns all the way to the tops of my ears. Not only am I getting told off, but in front of his assistants. Both of whom I’ve known since I was a kid. Worse. In front of Chris.
“I seem to remember you knowing perfectly well how much a spot in my class costs.” My eyes widen before I can keep my facial expression under control. I feel like my cheeks are on fire.
Did he really just bring this up…here? In front of people?
“I do,” I rasp. My god, my throat is so dry. “I?—”
“You can stop by my office during my hours. I’ll run you past what you missed.”
I hold my bag to my chest, still stuck behind my table, feeling cornered. “I-I can ask another student.”
He chuckles condescendingly. “Are you that na?ve, Miss Baker? Don’t you know popularity is worth nothing in this class? Who will help you?”
I gulp . Loudly too. I just made myself look even more stupid by not acknowledging students in his class are competing against each other.
He reaches inside his jacket and throws a business card on my desk. “Office hours are on there. Off you go.”
As if I didn’t know them.
I snatch it from the table, avoiding looking at Rose and Chris as I hurry out of the room. I’ve barely exited and closed the door when it opens again.
“Ella.”
I don’t need to turn around to know Chris is the one calling me. I would recognize his voice if it was a whisper in a crowd of people shouting. I know the sweet, deep vowels. I’ve shivered at the calm but stern consonants before. This man imposes respect through single words. My name in his spiced whiskey voice used to melt me to my core, turn me into a puddle at his feet.
Today, I don’t even turn around.
“Ella,” he calls a little louder. As if the only reason I’m not stopping is because I must not have heard him.
Fuck him. Fuck Reeves. Fuck all of them.
I hurry through the hallway of the humanities building, mixing with other students before he can catch up with me. I throw a look behind me before turning right into another hallway instead of exiting. If he really wants to talk, he’ll go outside, thinking that’s where I’m heading. As the crowd thins out, and I pass a heavy oak door into another part of the building. The hallway here is empty, my steps resonating against the stone polished by countless years of students walking here.
There’s always an indescribable eeriness that comes over me when I walk the hallways of SFU, especially since the stained glass windows don’t let much light through. The stone walls are covered in paintings portraying scenes from Greek mythology.
The beheading of Medusa by Perseus. The punishment of Prometheus by Zeus.
Some of the paintings can barely be seen, casted in shadows from the lack of light. It always feels like someone is hiding somewhere, forgotten souls waiting to be noticed by passersby.
With a shiver running down my spine, I pull out my phone, calling Peach right away.
“ Don’t tell me you’ve already been kicked out of Reeves’s class? ” she laughs as she picks up. She’s the only one of us who doesn’t have any morning classes on Tuesdays.
“Peach.” I have to force my voice out of my throat. My ears are still ringing from what just happened, and I can barely catch my breath. “You will never guess who transferred to SFU.”
I haven’t even had time to catch them up about Chris being back. This is going to come as a shock. I slept at home yesterday and went straight to class this morning. All I did was text them about my dad. They tried to convince me to not go to classes, but the mere idea of staying alone with my thoughts terrifies me.
I turn right into another hallway again, trying to circle the building from the inside so I can go back to the exit. My burgundy uniform skirt bounces against my ass with every quick step.
“ What? Who? ” she asks, sounding half-worried, half-excited.
“Ch—” I bump so hard into someone, I drop my phone, barely registering as it clatters on the floor.
Stumbling back from the hit, I catch myself on the wall. The giant in front of me bends down, picks it up, and the second Peach’s voice says hello? on the other side, he hangs up on her.
“Chris.”
A delicate smile pulls at his lips, and he hands me back my phone. Our fingers touch when I grab it, and I could swear he electrifies me.
“Are you running away from me? I’m not sure I love that.” The deep timber of his voice is graced with a tint of mockery.
I fucking hate it.
I cock an eyebrow at him, feeling some strength finally coming back. Crossing my arms over my chest to give me a semblance of protection, I look up at him, unimpressed.
“Of course I’m running away from you. The ex I hate just showed up to my class. I need a minute to process that I’m going to be seeing a lot more assholes than I anticipated this year.”
He shakes his head, chuckling, as if I’m some cute puppy yapping at his feet.
“Not a lot more. Just me.”
I lean forward, making sure he’s catching my words. “You count for about four assholes.”
“What about Matias? Kissing you in front of the whole of SFU when you told him you didn’t want to be official? How many assholes does he account for? ”
“You know what? At best, you’re way too interested in a college that isn’t yours. At worst, you’re a guy stalking your ex. Either way, you’re not my problem.”
His eyebrows pull together, not liking what I just said.
“If I may correct your perspective,” he says in a low voice. “That’s my college now. And the ex? She’s mine too. So I don’t see any problem in knowing what I know.”
He’s not even touching me, but the sentence alone keeps me from moving. Like he’s got a hand around my waist and is keeping me tightly against him. He’s not. I could walk away. I don’t.
“Chris.” My voice is strained as I attempt to talk myself out of this. “You broke us up. Five years ago. You have a girlfriend.”
The second I mention Megan, his on-and-off girlfriend since he started college, I watch him tense.
“What do you want from me?” I huff.
He licks his lips and, for a second, I think he’s going to say something crazy.
His eyes say I want you back.
The heat of his body as he inches closer tells me I’ll do anything for you to be mine again.
And the way the fingers of his hand twitch says name it and it’s done.
But his words are different.
“The printout Reeves gave you in class is a case transcript. He wants you all to write a detailed essay explaining why it went to criminal court rather than civil court. That’s the homework you didn’t write down. It’ll count toward class selection in two weeks, along with the summer essay.”
Taking a step toward me, he puts his hands in the pockets of his brown pants, making sure he doesn’t touch me. He stands straight, not leaning closer, his eyes looking above my head and past me.
It doesn’t matter where he looks, whether he touches me or not. My body is already on fire from feeling his heat so close. From smelling his warm, reassuring scent. How can someone I know to be so controlling have such a comforting effect on me?
His voice is low and tempting when he says, “No need to go to his office now. We fully studied that case in my first year of law school. If you need any help, just call.”
And then he steps back, turning his back to me.
He’s almost gone by the time I catch my breath.
“Why are you here?”
He looks over his shoulder, his face suddenly falling with a sadness I don’t understand.
“You’d know if you’d talked to me when I called.” He shrugs, but it looks fake and forced because he’s not indifferent about this. “That night…I just needed to talk to someone who understands me.”
I can barely believe the disappointment in his voice as he walks away. How can he leave me like this? For dead, hardly breathing.
I need answers, and he knows what he’s doing by withholding them from me.
He’s keeping me close.