Chapter 29
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Wren
No Angels - Stellar
I startle awake, unsure of where I am for a few seconds. It's my room, my bed, but it smells like Peach. It's that very specific mix of flowery and fruity. Specifically, it's rose and lychee, but that knowledge is only because I looked up her perfume a long time ago. Before that, I just knew it as the smell I'm addicted to.
Speaking of something I'm addicted to, Peach isn't next to me. I brought her home yesterday, and we fell asleep together in my bed. I can hear the shower running, and I'm ready to join her, but the second I become fully aware of my body, I feel something in my hand.
A piece of paper.
My entire being freezes.
I know for a fact that I did not open the book Duval gave me. I have no idea who I'm meant to kill for the Circle, so how could I possibly have done it?
No, there's only one answer to who I could have killed, and my heart races as I open my fist to look at the bloody paper in it.
" Fuck ," I hiss as I read the names on it.
Paul Ellson
Miles Ellson
"Shit." I wipe a hand across my face.
I remember perfectly well leaving them unconscious on the dungeon floor. I remember taking Peach back to my place and falling asleep with her in my arms.
I don't remember going back for them.
This is bad. It's never been that bad before. The more of Peach I allow myself to have, the more she gives me, the worst I become.
Duval is going to lose it, and I have no excuse for what I did, apart from they touched her. That they tried to punish her. They didn't actually hurt her. It’s not the first person I’ve killed for Peach who’s part of the Circle. Bodies are piling up, and I don’t think they’re going to keep letting me get away with it. I could get into serious trouble with the Circle.
The shower stops, and my heart stops with it. I have to throw this away before Peach sees it. I promised her I wouldn't hurt the Ellsons any more than I had. If I think I'm in trouble with Duval, I don't even want to know what she’ll put me through.
I'm too late to move. The door to the bathroom is opening, and I shove the paper in my mouth. Peach walks out with a towel around her and another she's using to dry her hair. She's bent forward, looking at the floor as she wraps it around her hair, and I use this occasion to chew like a maniac until it's a disgusting paste on my tongue.
She will fucking end me if she learns I killed them for what she'll consider nothing.
She straightens back up, her strong gaze on me, and I gulp, swallowing the paper.
"Wren." Her hard voice requires no further explanation.
She knows.
I just swallowed a piece of paper for no reason.
Fuck my life.
"Yes?" I ask innocently.
"We need to talk." She advances, her spine straight and her eyebrows drawn together.
I clear my throat and stand. I need something on her. My height will help. "About?"
She stops in front of me, shaking her head. "About Miles and his dad."
My shoulders slump as she cocks an eyebrow at me. "I know. I'm sor?—"
"I'm weirdly touched."
I pause, blinking at her as confusion takes over me. "Come again?"
"I know," she huffs. "I don't know what's happening to me. I feel like you've been eating at my brain with a little spoon and turning me even more twisted than you, but you beat up two guys because they hurt me, and I'm…touched."
"Beat up?"
"Yeah." She cocks her head to the side like a cute little puppy. "You were there, weren't you? Or do you forget what happens when you don't go all the way too? How does it work when you become Mr. Hyde?"
She doesn't know. Fuck. She doesn't know.
"I remember." I nod. "And I would do it all over again."
"Yeah, well, let's not make a habit out of it."
I smile softly, putting a hand on the back of her neck as I bring her closer and press my lips against hers. Kissing Peach is the kind of gesture that makes me feel giddy.
Every time, I become a teen again, unable to believe that the girl I have a crush on notices me. My head fills with dreams and hopes for our future.
It all comes from her, from her lips on mine and the way our tongues intertwine. It's her little sigh that escapes the second our mouths touch, and how I feel her turning compliant in my hold.
Peach and I have a lot in common. And one thing among many others is that we're scientists. We're not big into literature. We don't really get the way poets express themselves. We like facts. Data. Science-backed information. It's a passion of ours.
I always thought love doesn't happen in the heart. It's all in the brain. We have triggers, they're passed on to our brain, and it releases neurotransmitters like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin that make us feel all sorts of crazy things. Love is physiological. It's a reward system, and biological rewards motivate our actions.
I know that for a fact. A fucking scientifical fact.
But then why is it that when I kiss her, I suddenly believe I'm capable of understanding things further than science ever has. When I'm with Peach, I'm capable of quantifying and feeling infinity. It's the love I have for her. Infinite.
When her skin is against mine and her perfume wraps around me, I have the answers to questions that scientists can't comprehend about love. What was the initial trigger? Why that person? What caused the chemistry? Is there a pattern, a choice we actually make?
Yes. It's Peach.
Peach is the answer to all those questions.
I can explain obsession and murder when she's far from me, when she doesn't notice me, when she's hurt.
I'm knowledgeable about everything because Peach makes me feel it all.
She falls flat on her feet, forcing a separation, and my heart shrinks a little. It's almost painful.
"Wren." Biting her lower lip, her green eyes observe my face as her hands wrap around my biceps. "I want to talk about last night. About you not being you."
"I don't want to talk about me snapping."
I try to look away, at anything in the room apart from her, but she places a hand on my cheek, softly and silently compelling me to look into her eyes, and I melt into her touch.
"Let's start by not calling it snapping . This concerns both of us, as a team. I'm not here to accuse you of anything. I'm here to help, alright?"
I put my hand on hers, pulling it away from my cheek only so I can kiss her inner wrist.
"Alright," I whisper, my chest strangely light compared to the lump in my throat.
I feel understood when it comes to Peach, and that's what has always put her above everyone else. This woman creates a new feeling in me every single day, and even the worst ones feel like heaven.
I massage the back of my neck, desperate to ease some tension before I take it a step further.
"Are you scared of me?"
"No." Her answer is automatic. That's what she says to anyone. Even when she's terrified.
I roll my eyes, and she laughs a little.
"I promise you, Wren. I am not scared of you. And especially not after last night."
"I killed them."
I don't need to tell her who. I don't need to tell her why. She's not stupid.
There's a beat that lasts for an eternity. That, too, I can quantify when I'm around Peach. One second of her eyes off me is an eternity. One minute of attention she gives to someone else. One hour I have to watch her from afar in class. It's all the same.
Eternity.
And this, right now, her mouth slightly agape, her eyes fluttering shut, the barely noticeable shift in her position as I wait for reassurance. God, eternity is so long.
"Are you scared of me?" I ask again, my voice barely a rasp now.
And she takes her time to think before she answers. She lets me fear for my equilibrium.
"I'm not scared of you," she whispers.
I take her in my arms with a forcefulness that makes her gasp, but she still wraps hers around my neck.
"I love you," I breathe against her neck, burying my face against her skin.
I inhale her perfume like it's the oxygen keeping me alive.
Until now, I had her physically. She couldn't leave me. But Peach is falling for me the way I did with her. And I'm getting everything I've always wanted.
Her heart.
Her soul.
I am certain of that because they're both tightly woven with mine.
"If you do," she says confidently, even though I feel her racing heartbeat against my torso. "You'll share every part of you with me. Even the one that scares you ."
I straighten up and push her hair over both her shoulders.
"I promise I will. But first, there's the matter of your punishment, Penelope baby."