Chapter 3 #2
His hand goes under my oversized tee, and he caresses my breast. "No bra. Nice."
I shake my head, heading back to the sofa. "I don't have time for sex right now. I'm trying to see where I can save money."
I don't love discussing this with him. The conversation about me going to SFU didn't exactly go well when I finally told him I got accepted.
He slumps onto the sofa and puts an arm around my shoulders. "Need help with anything?"
The surprise must be written on my face because he laughs as he messes my hair.
"Come on, don't look so shocked. I hate that you're leaving me, but I'm not going to let you get eaten by those rich fucks. How much do you need?"
I show him the list, and as he reads, his eyes go wider and wider.
"Wait…the Wi-Fi and library fees aren't included in tuition?"
I shake my head. "And apparently, I have to pay for orientation fees, too. Which was a five-minute chat with a rude woman today."
His look of disgust worsens my anxiety. "So that's what millionaires do with their money? Throw it away on their kids' designer uniforms?"
"And that's without my textbooks, music sheets, and whatever my course will require."
He huffs, brushing the top of his short hair back and forth.
"I mean, I could cover the uniform," he says.
"And I don't need the parking permit. I can park down the road."
"Or I could drop you off."
A sprinkle of excitement warms my stomach. We’re going to be okay. He's finally supporting this dream of mine.
Putting the sheet down, he turns to me, dragging me closer as his hand comes to play with the elastic band of my leggings.
"You know, as long as I get a blowjob for every ride."
I tilt my head to the side as he starts kissing my neck.
"And we'll need to find a way for you to repay that uniform too."
"Chase," I groan. "You asking for sex in exchange for money and protection is the kind of red flag that proves my friends right when they tell me to stay away from you."
"Oh yeah?" His hand goes lower, finding the wetness between my legs. "But do they know how much you love it?"
"Fuck," I breathe out as he unzips his pants and pulls out his cock, pressing inside me slowly.
No. My friends don't know how much I like my man to play with my body and my heart. How I get a kick out of it because it makes me feel helpless, and how much that turns me on.
He starts beautifully, but then he checks the time, and his behavior changes. Fucking me selfishly, he comes inside me in less than two minutes, and I'm not even near exploding when he pulls out.
"Sorry, I gotta go."
"What?" I snap, pulling my leggings back into place. "What do you have to do at this time of night?"
He waves a dismissive hand. "Just some business; don't worry about it." Not even looking at me, he tosses a wad of cash on the table. "Get that uniform, Nyxie."
"What the fuck." I stand up, throwing the cash back at him. It bounces off his chest and falls to the floor. "I like when we pretend you're giving me money for sex, not when you actually treat me like a whore."
"Don’t be a bitch. I'm helping you out," he snarls as he buckles his belt. "Where else are you planning on finding twelve hundred dollars for a slutty skirt and a jacket."
"It's not a— You know what? Never fucking mind. You can leave."
I push him out of the way and open the door for him.
"And by the way. I can't pay cash for that uniform. Not everyone is a dodgy fuck who walks around with dirty cash in their pocket over there. They live in the modern world, and you have to pay by card."
He snorts. "If you think they're not dodgy fucks with all that money, you're even more na?ve than I thought when it comes to your dream town.
Take the cash to your bank and pay by card, for all I care.
It's yours, and I'm happy to give you whatever money I can when you need it.
Just don't try to tell me where to be and when.
I'm leaving. I've got business to do. I'll be back whenever I'll be back. "
"Cheating asshole," I whisper, loud enough for him to hear as he walks past me and down the steps of my mobile home.
He freezes on the spot and turns to me with a dangerous gaze that puts a weight on my chest.
But instead of denying my insult, he says, "Leave me, then."
My heart hardens as my throat tightens. "I might."
"Break up with me, Nyxie." Stepping closer, he puts a lock of bleached hair behind my ear. "But remember, I don't give my exes the same privileges I give my girlfriend. You know, like covering their piece of shit addict dad's debt."
My lips press together so firmly I'm worried my mouth will be sealed forever. I bite my tongue, hoping it'll help hold back the tears.
"Nothing to add?" he asks as a smirk spreads across his face. "Have we changed our mind about breaking up, then?"
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
I nod as my insides coil.
"Good. I'll see you soon." He presses a hard kiss to my lips, but I refuse to open for him. It's only when he's reached the dirt road that I shout at his back.
"My dad isn't a piece of shit! He's ill."
"Sure." He chuckles darkly. "If my dad didn't love me enough to stop putting me in danger for a quick game, I would use 'ill' as an excuse too. Whatever you can do to protect your heart, baby."
And he disappears into the night, leaving me with that feeling I have too often around him.
That I'm completely unlovable. Not by my mother, who left me. Not by my father, who would rather throw me to the wolves than ever deal with his issues. And not by my boyfriend, who holds so much above my head I've forgotten if I truly love him or if I'm just trying to survive as best as I can.