Chapter 31 #2
"I have my reasons, Nyx. I didn’t create this account just to fuck with people.
My father needs to reinforce his power, his position as the leader, and for that, he needs his son to join the Circle.
But I'll never initiate. I'm Sophie's dad, and I could never do this to her. It would link her to the Circle the same way I’m linked because of my dad.
I had no choice but to take them down. So my mom and Sophie can come back to Stoneview without my father being a threat to them. "
"You created Hermes to take down the Circle."
I can see the way she wants to believe me so badly, even in her hurt.
"The second Sophie was born," I say without scruple.
"And I would never take it back. This has been years in the making. Spying on them, preparing files, slowly building the account to show who’s linked and how they keep recruiting from SFU.
Now I'm getting members arrested, taking away their power one at a time.
I'll expose all of them. I'll hit so hard, they'll all turn on each other.
They'll eat each other from the inside."
She pulls back, but I can't release her. I could lose her.
"That's why I fight back against initiating.
I can't be part of it and get away unscathed once they're outed to the world.
I need Sophie to come back to me, not me in prison or dead.
That's why I never dated, because my father needs me to bring a woman to initiate.
That's why I never fell in love. Until you, but I would protect you at all costs. We'll never initiate."
I take a deep breath, pulling out my phone and showing the picture my father sent me over the summer. Still, I hold her with one hand.
"See this picture of you? That's because you were one of the women he was going to make an offer to so you would initiate with me.
He finds desperate people and offers them dreams in exchange for initiating.
He brought you to SFU, dangled you under my nose, in hopes that I'd fall for you, and he could use you for initiations.
You're vulnerable to him; you could accept big offers from the Circle because of your background.
That's why I hated you, Nyx. I thought my father gave you that scholarship to send you after me. But then I got to know you and understood you’d never do that. You weren't aware of any of this."
My heart is close to fracturing my ribcage.
My chest aches. God, I need her to understand where all of this is coming from.
Why I hated her, why I put doubt in my friends' heads about what kind of person she was. Why none of it matters because she’d never hurt me.
She'd never hurt a fly. She's good, deep down, unlike me.
She sees the best in everyone, while I actively look for the worst. I am the worst.
"I know you're beautiful inside and out, and that no matter how life tries to stain your soul, it stays pure.
Forgive me for ever doubting you. Please.
You have to understand, my dad tried to trick me into initiating countless times before.
I don't know how I thought you could’ve been another trap. "
Fat tears are running down her face, and she pulls away again. My hands are shaking, and this time, she’s able to remove herself from my hold.
"Because I was," she sobs, taking another step back.
Not registering what she means, I follow her. "What?"
Shaking her head, she puts her hands in front of her to keep me at bay.
"I was a trap, Achilles." She explodes into tears. "I'm so sorry."
I feel my head rearing back, shock freezing the air in my lungs. Time isn't the same suddenly, disappearing, slipping through my fingers like my fate.
"I didn't know what I was doing," she blurts out. "I promise you. I didn't know. I didn't understand until tonight. I tried to stop it. I did. I did…" She whispers the last words as shadows creep out from behind the tree while she keeps stepping back.
I'm stuck to the spot. Until not too long ago, my heart had walls as tall and strong as the walls of Troy. Tonight, I’m fully exposed, bare for the world to break, for Nyx to stomp on with the power she has over me.
I swallow thickly, my wide eyes looking around us.
They're Shadows. Three of them, including my dad, now stand behind her.
She's not lying. She's with them. Not with me, not on my side. She's not my protector or my safe haven. She's a traitor. A pawn in my dad's sordid games.
And now they heard everything about my plan.
"I forgot to tell you, Son," my father says smugly as he puts a hand on Nyx's shoulder. She recoils, but he just holds tighter. I can feel it on my own shoulder. "The initiations have started again. We've simply changed the process."
My breathing accelerates, my lungs tightening at the same time as my fists. I can barely follow what he's saying with my ears ringing from the revelation. I'm completely blindsided. I thought the initiations hadn't started again. Chris and Wren would’ve let me know. But they were too busy—
"Oh, fuck you," I seethe. "That's why you had Wren and Chris focused on Hermes. So you could initiate people without them realizing. They were too busy trying to find out who Hermes was so they could protect their girlfriends from you."
"They're not amazing at multitasking, are they?" he says with palpable derision.
"You didn’t need to find out who Hermes is because you already knew it's me," I say, my voice losing anger. I feel completely numb inside. Even Nyx's shocked gasp doesn't bring me back. "You played us like fucking rookies." I scoff.
"There's only one person around who hates the Circle as much as you do. You won’t try to take us down if you initiate. Or you'll be going down with us."
I can't swallow his words. They stay stuck on my tongue. The bitterness of betrayal, the cutting shards of my father's manipulative games. Once again, he's the one who's going to win.
"As to the initiations. Only the board participates now. We send a woman through the forest, and the initiating Shadow goes after her to make her his."
I try to take a step back, but my body won't move, held still by Nyx's sobs as she keeps murmuring how sorry she is.
But I can feel it, my walls building back up, formidable as steel. All those emotions Nyx brought out of me are crushed by what she’s done. Everything inside me is suddenly glacial, unfeeling.
"If you think I'm running after her, think again," I say through a clenched jaw. "She can run to another country, for all I care. I'm not initiating."
My father laughs mockingly. "Ah, I understand. At least now I know why you tried to take me down. You're a father. You want to protect your precious Sophie. How old is she, Son?"
"Keep her name out of your fucking mouth," I hiss as I take a new step toward them.
He laughs, ridiculing me some more. "You should know something before you decide if you want to participate or not.
You're not the only one who'll be chasing her, Achilles.
The initiating Shadow runs after his woman, and so does the board.
If you catch her, you're in with her as your Hera.
If we do, she becomes one of the Circle's Aphrodites. "
The Aphrodites. Sex toys for the Shadows to use and torture.
Or a Hera. The wives of Shadows.
I was so close to escaping this life. God, I could practically touch it. I could feel it, taste the freedom every time I kissed Nyx.
"I'm not chasing her," I repeat.
"It's up to you." My father taunts me. "But we will."
His wolfish smile makes Nyx tremble. She's staring at me with eyes full of anguish, and I give her nothing.
"I'm sorry," she repeats for the hundredth time.
My cold silence has her body seizing from another sob. "I didn't know what any of it meant," she cries out. "Achilles, please, believe me."
I shake my head, my heart bleeding onto the ground of this forest.
"I won't save you," I rasp. It rips my soul to even say the words.
Her entire body trembles as my father lets her go and raises a gun in the air. "I know. And I understand."
"Get ready to run, Nyx," he purrs. "Because if we catch you…"
With his free hand, he grips the collar of her t-shirt and rips it, dragging a shriek out of her as she covers her exposed bra.
"…you're ours," he threatens, looking right into my eyes.
My jaw aches from how tightly I'm wound. I need to walk away, but I can't take my eyes off her.
"Let the Dionysian Mysteries begin." The gunshot makes her scream, her hands flying up to her ears.
She looks at me, her gaze selflessly telling me goodbye. She knows I can't choose her. My heart is empty, my faith in her broken.
Run, traitor. I don't even say the words. I just mouth them because I know she'll read them anyway.
With tears streaking her red cheeks, she takes off in a sprint, setting up in flames the last remnants of my soul.
My father watches me as the Shadows run after her.
"I was good to you for years, Son. I let you take your time. I gave you access to us when you didn’t deserve it.
I would have never gone so hard on you if you and your little friends hadn’t tried to destroy us.
After what Wren pulled last year, I had to show the Circle is still strong.
It’s because you tried to take us down that you’re here.
So, don't be a fool, Achilles. Initiate. "
"I would rather be tortured to death than initiate into your secret society," I spit.
He chuckles like I'm still the stupid boy he put his hands on, the one who didn't understand anything.
"You? Tortured? No. It'll be her. You know what happens when we catch her." His smile is deadly.
He takes a step back, and before turning away from me, he says, "Save her. Initiate."
Then, he's gone, running into the forest. I stand still, my heart beating in my ears. Fury and love are waging a war in my body. My brain screams at me to get in my car and let her reap what she sowed, knowing my heart has always only ever beaten for Sophie. She was the one keeping me alive. I’ll always fight for her and her only.
But my body’s being pulled by the string linking Nyx's soul to mine.
Our broken pasts, our twisted minds, our hearts beating in unison.
I can't choose between my daughter and the love of my life. That’s the cruelest thing fate has ever thrown at me.
I freeze when I hear Nyx's scream resonating through the forest. She stands no chance against those men.
And before my conscious mind can stop me, I take off after them, only one thing flashing in my mind.
I'll save them both.
I'll find a way.