Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Achilles
Power– Isak Danielson
Iroll the Silent Circle's signet ring around my finger as I sit on my couch.
I haven't moved from this house for the last forty-eight hours.
After I brought Nyx here and locked her in the music room, I decided I was going to enjoy her until I felt sick of her.
I fuck her and discard her. I don't let her come. I terrify her and relish her cries.
And yet still, I'm not sick of her. If anything, having her at my mercy makes me want her more.
"Where is she?"
Wren's voice takes me out of my depressive daydreaming, and my eyes snap to his.
"She's here," I answer simply.
He's not happy to be in my company, clearly still mad at me.
I'm unapologetic, which I'm sure isn't helping the situation.
But he's learned about my daughter through the Circle—they all know now—and that I've initiated by force.
So, he came over. I'm not sure where it's going to lead, just that it's good to have him here.
"Is she alright? Is she hurt?"
I smile, cocking my head to the side. "Does it matter how I treat my Hera? She's mine, isn't she?"
"It matters when you're the kind of guy who has a penchant for torture, and that the person you love betrayed you."
His cold tone doesn’t affect me. It's almost like he thinks I deserve what Nyx did after betraying him. Maybe I did. Maybe after years of being the number one asshole, after betraying my friends, after making Nyx suffer, what I deserved was to get a taste of heaven and have it ripped from my grip.
"Peach and the girls have been asking about Nyx too. They’re worried."
"Yeah, her friend Lena messaged me when Nyx missed work and couldn’t get through to her, but I told her she was sick."
Wren stays silent for a while, and so do I. He needs time processing what he learned, and I'm not in a mood to talk anyway. It must take him a lot to finally ask me his question.
"Why didn't you tell us you have a daughter?"
Just like every time I think about Sophie, my stomach shrinks in on itself.
Usually, she's the one who keeps me alive.
Not because of any zest for life. Because of longing.
She's kept me on this earth for four years but more as a ghost desperate to keep her safe before I cross onto the other side than anything else.
Knowing a part of you is somewhere so far away and that you can never see her or you risk her life is simply torture.
"Because it was too big of a secret," I explain. Every time I blink, I see my daughter's gray eyes. The same as mine. "It wasn't a risk I could take."
"Do you not trust us? Me… Do you not trust me?"
"When it comes to Sophie, I trust no one. " I can see myself two days ago, telling the truth to Nyx—like a film of the biggest regret of my life—and a spike slices through my heart. "I told Nyx," I croak. "And it was the most stupid mistake I’ve ever made."
I pause, looking out the bay windows. Rain is falling on the lake, the end of the day gray and heavy. It'll be night soon, and it'll count as another day since Nyx's betrayal.
He takes another moment to swallow the truth before he finally says, "I get it. The Circle is the main reason Peach doesn't want kids."
"You want kids now?" I ask, surprised.
He chuckles. "No. Nothing before we both get our master’s degrees. But when we talk about our future, this is what it always comes back to. That we wouldn't want to risk the Circle getting their hands on them to keep growing. I just…"
He throws his head back, clearly torn between staying mad at me and moving forward.
"I thought we were in this together, Achilles. You, me, Ella, Peach, Chris. We were all forced into the Circle. We were fighting them together. Fuck, you blackmailed Peach using Hermes's account."
"I used her to take members down without it being linked to me," I admit.
"But it worked. It weakened them. And insisting on you initiating her made you dangerous for them.
Because your need to protect her always takes over your sanity.
You burned down the temple, the maze. Do you even realize the progress we made because of that? "
"How am I supposed to forgive you for using us? We could’ve agreed to it had you at least talked to us about it."
"Or you could’ve refused. That’s a risk I wasn’t willing to take. The Circle has to disappear. For Sophie’s safety. It’s always Sophie first."
I shake my head, looking right into his eyes.
"I don't know how you’re supposed to forgive me.
I did many things I can't even forgive myself for.
I don't expect anyone to. But up until Nyx stabbed me in the back, my daughter was safe, and no one in the Circle knew about her.
Up until then, I was this close to bringing her here. "
He eyes the way my index finger and thumb practically press together.
"Have you ever thought of going to her? Leaving instead of blowing everything up to bring her here?"
I cock an eyebrow at him, and he runs a hand through his chestnut hair as he looks away, already knowing how dumb his question is.
"It doesn't matter where I go, Wren. It's being near me that puts Sophie at risk. So long as my father and his Circle exist, I can't see her. I worked on this for years, and all it took was one woman to take me down."
Something in his blue eyes shifts, and that's where the difference between him and I truly shows. His empathy is something I could never understand.
"How old is she?" he asks softly.
"Four. Stupid drunken night with a French girl from Paris turned into the most beautiful mistake of my life."
He smiles kindly. "Can I see her?"
Any excuse to look at my little girl. I pull out my phone, going into the photos my mom sends me, and show him one of her holding her purple bat teddy.
She's got her chin up, looking down at the camera.
Her steel eyes are so much bigger than mine, and her blonde hair is what makes it so easy for my mom to make everyone believe that she's her daughter.
"Holy fuck." Wren lets out one long breath. "So that's where your passion for bats comes from."
A small laugh escapes me. "Yeah. She's obsessed."
"Shit, Achilles. She's got your arrogance."
"Fuck off." I snort. "She simply knows the truth. That she's better than everyone else."
I pull my phone away as he asks, "When did you tell Nyx about her?"
"I went in slowly. Told her she was my sister. But then…" I huff, reality hitting me hard. "I really thought she wasn't working with my dad, Wren. That ship of mistrust had sailed. She seemed too honest. So…in love."
Eyebrows furrowed, he looks at me with a pity he's never had for me before.
"I know what it's like to have the person you love hide something so important from you. Or to play with your head. You have to talk to her. Hear her out."
"I can't." The anger comes back tenfold, beating on the pain. "She knew about Sophie. She did it anyway. I’ll never forgive her for this."
"But you saved her."
I blink at him, frozen.
"You could’ve left her to become an Aphrodite and truly pay for what she did, but you ran after her, and you caught her."
"It wasn't me choosing between Sophie or Nyx," I say defensively.
"I know."
"I couldn't control it."
"I know." He stands up. "I have to go. I'll keep you in touch if Chris hears anything about what your dad has planned for you.
In the meantime, I'd suggest you stay here.
Now that the Circle knows, the word is out to the public that you're Hermes.
You have a few hundred enemies on campus.
Plus, staying here is a good opportunity to iron things out with Nyx. "
I start twisting the signet ring around my finger again. "Awesome."
He's about to exit when he stops. "What's the plan now? Still taking them down?"
I graze my top teeth with the tip of my tongue. "I'm working on it. Adjusting the initial plan. But just know that from the beginning, it protected my friends."
"Even though you posted about us?"
"Even though I posted about you," I confirm.
I open the door to the music room slowly. I blacked it out completely so Nyx has no idea what time of the day it is. Or even how many days she's been here.
She squints, putting an arm in front of her. The only time she came out in the last forty-eight hours was to shower. She's stopped trying to talk to me when I walk in because I've used my dick to keep her quiet the last few times she tried.
She's started to get used to the collar around her neck. The one that holds the lotus flower pendant showing she's a Hera. I could’ve used a normal necklace, but I wanted her to feel the golden chain every second of the day. I wanted her to feel the betrayal every time she swallows.
Because I feel the betrayal every time I take a breath.
"You need to shower," I say coldly.
I take her by the hand to help her up, and we walk silently to the bathroom.
She's not wearing anything anymore. Every time I came back to the room, I ripped a piece of clothing.
I took her like a fucking maniac because I needed to let the anger out.
And every step I take in a crazy direction, she follows with lustful insanity.
We're just as fucked up as the other. There's no winning here.
She walks into the shower silently, her eyes cast downward, and she winces when the hot water touches her skin. That's when her state truly hits me. She's got bruises around her wrists from how tightly I've been holding her down, a bite mark on the back of her shoulder and her neck.
My hand automatically goes to adjust the water temperature, unable to not care.
She starts putting shampoo into her thick brown hair. It's mine. It doesn't smell like the sun and the beach. It feels like I'm losing another part of her. In the end, I lose the will to stay away and take off all my clothes.
When I join her, I put her back to my chest and wrap my arms around her waist. I can feel her heart racing, and a sob shakes her.
"Loving you has truly put me through everything," I rasp under the shower spray. "Even self-hatred."
I feel her cry some more, but she doesn't try to apologize. I don't want to hear it. We're doomed; apologies won't change anything.
When she turns around, her delicate fingers caress the tattoo of the eyes I have just below my sternum on the right.
"Those are her eyes, aren’t they? Sophie's."
She flinches when I wrap my hand around her wrist.
"What gave you the right," I say in a wavering voice, "to make me choose between you and her?"
She trembles, tilting her head back so her wide bloodshot eyes are looking right into mine.
"That was never my intention, Achilles. I was trying my best to survive in your world." She's clearly trying to hold back more tears. "I would never want to put her at risk. I would rather have died in that forest, believe me."
I take a step back the second she tries to put her arms around me. "I can't."
And I'm out of the shower.
I lived a good life when I didn't care about anything.
Nyx ruined all of it.