Chapter Five #2
He would find a way out of this mess and ensure she never had cause to worry. He had to.
There was little he could do until the details of his holdings were made available to him.
He needed a distraction from the mounting anxiety of the walls of his circumstances closing in on him.
Graham stood and wandered to the bookshelves lining the study, hoping to find something—anything—to take his thoughts off his impossible situation.
The previous earl had quite the collection of books. Given the amount of dust that had collected on some of the titles, he could assume they weren’t purchased by his predecessor.
He ran his fingers along the spines of the books as he read each of them. He looked for texts on agriculture that might help prepare him for the estates he’d now have to oversee the management of.
Wedged between a tome on Roman history and a book of sermons, his fingers stopped on an interesting spine. The leather binding was newer than the rest, unmarked by any title. Graham pulled it free and opened it to the first page, expecting perhaps a journal or collection of papers.
What he found instead made his face burn.
Pleasures of the Body proclaimed the title page in elegant script.
He continued to the next page and was met with a drawing of a man on top of a woman.
He couldn’t help but study the page, then turned to the next and the man and woman were in a different position, with her sitting on top of the man.
It was drawn from behind the woman with her up on her knees, so it was clear where the man’s cock was meant to enter.
He snapped the book shut, his pulse racing with all of the blood seemingly running straight to his cock.
Graham glanced toward the door, ensuring he was truly alone, then unable to stop his curiosity, he opened the book again.
The illustrations were… detailed. Very detailed.
Warmth continued to spread through his body as he turned the pages, finding diagrams and explanations that made him respond in ways that were enlightening, and reminded him of his inexperience.
He had been a virgin by choice, set on not being the man his father was and marrying for love. And all of that was going to change in a few days if his wife would have him. And pleasing his new bride caused him nearly as much anxiety as settling the business with Rothwell.
The thought of disappointing Diana on their wedding night, of revealing just how inexperienced he truly was, was more than he could bear. The least he could do was ensure that he satisfied her in the physical aspects of their marriage.
He closed the book and tossed it onto his desk. He was a grown man, reduced to learning about such things from a text. But he supposed he’d rather have the knowledge in the text than to enter the marriage bed with only what he had overheard from boisterous, bragging men in pubs.
A soft knock sounded in the room. “Come,” he called, and then winced at the unfortunate double meaning.
Matt entered, looking insufferably cheerful given the circumstances. “Good morning! I told Mitchell that I’d see myself to your study. You look like hell.”
“Your powers of observation remain sharp as ever.” Graham gestured to a chair, relieved that the ache between his legs had dissipated.
Matt settled himself with the easy grace that came from being born to his position. “The gossip rags are having a field day. Half the ton is calling it terribly romantic, while the other half suspects the covering of a scandal.”
“And which half are you?”
“Neither. I’m a friend to you both, and I know your character enough to know that you didn’t do anything overly untoward. Even if it wasn’t well done of you.” Matt’s expression grew somber. “Though you are going to have a hell of time convincing Elias of the same.”
“I’m well aware,” he replied. Elias said as much multiple times. “He’s the least of my worries.”
Matt’s eyes widened. “And what do you mean by that?”
Graham cursed himself silently. He hadn’t meant to let that slip. Given the way Matt was studying him, he wouldn’t let it drop either. There was no taking it back now.
“Graham?” Matt’s voice held more concern. “What’s going on?”
For a moment, Graham considered deflecting, making some excuse about wedding nerves or family pressures. But the weight of carrying this burden alone was crushing him, and he knew that he could trust Matt.
“My cousin didn’t just leave me a title and estates,” Graham said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “He left me his debts as well. Gambling debts. Forty-five thousand pounds worth.”
The color drained from Matt’s face. “Christ, Graham. That’s—”
“A fortune, yes. And the man left nothing in his coffers.” Graham quickly reached for the decanter of brandy and a couple of glasses.
“And before you ask, I will not use Diana’s dowry to resolve this matter.
I won’t start our marriage by stealing what should be hers to settle my arse of a cousin’s dealings. ”
He poured them each a glass of the amber liquid.
“But surely there must be some way to raise the funds. The unentailed properties—”
“My solicitor is gathering complete reports on everything. Once I know what I have to work with, I’ll decide what can be sold.” Graham met Matt’s eyes. “I wanted to keep this to myself, but… well, now you know. And I don’t want anyone else to know about this.”
Matt was quiet for a minute, then took a long sip of the glass that Graham pushed into his hand. “How long do you have?”
“Three weeks. Rothwell made that quite clear this morning when he paid me a visit.”
“Rothwell?” Matt’s jaw tightened dangerously. “That snake was here? Graham, you must use caution in dealing with that man.”
“I’m aware of his reputation.” Graham’s voice was grim. “But I have little choice in the matter. He’s made it clear that if I don’t pay, Diana and her family will suffer for it.”
“That bastard threatened Diana?” Matt was on his feet now, pacing. “Graham, there has to be something we can do. I could—”
“No.” Graham’s voice was firm. “I won’t drag you into this mess. I just… I needed someone to know the truth. Someone who could vouch for my character if things go badly.”
Matt stopped pacing and fixed him with a stare. “You think I’d abandon you in this?”
“I think you’re a good friend, but this isn’t your burden to bear.”
“Like hell it isn’t.” Matt sat back down, leaning forward intensely. “You’re about to marry into one of my closest friend’s families. Diana is like a sister to me. If you think I’m going to stand by and watch Rothwell destroy both of you—”
“Matt, I don’t intend to let it come to that. I will find a proper way out of this and then it will be done.”
Matt pushed his glass to Graham, indicating he wanted another pour. “You’re a good man, Graham. A better man than most would be in your situation. And Diana… she’s going to need to know the truth.”
“I know.” Graham ran his hand through his hair. “But not yet. Just let me solve this so she needn’t worry. I don’t want to put that on her.”
Matt nodded slowly. “Fair enough. But promise me this—if you need help, if there’s anything I can do, you’ll ask.”
“I promise.”
Graham filled each of their glasses again and they downed them in silence.
But even as the brandy burned in his chest, Graham knew one truth he could not escape—if he failed, it would not be only his ruin, but Diana’s too.