Chapter Eight
Diana
Diana stood before her mirror, checking her appearance for the dinner party, though her thoughts were elsewhere entirely. They had been since the moment she’d snuck back into her house after the unexpected encounter with Graham.
Her lips still felt tender from Graham’s kisses. Her skin still hadn’t cooled after the pleasure that he’d introduced her to. Hours had passed, yet she could still feel where his hands had touched her.
She pressed the spot on her throat where he’d kissed her. The memory of the way his lips had moved against her skin brought back that ache between her legs. Somehow, the man she hardly knew had become all could think about.
A soft knock interrupted her reverie. “Come in.”
Hannah slipped inside and hurried to close the door. “I’m dreadfully sorry I didn’t come sooner, but I didn’t see your note in time and then didn’t want to alarm Hudson. But I convinced him to come to supper early.”
Relief flooded through Diana. She’d been wondering why Hannah hadn’t called earlier. “Thank goodness you’re here. I feel as though I might burst if I don’t tell someone. And we don’t have much time before the others arrive.”
Her friends would be joining for a small dinner party that evening.
Lydia had arranged it since, in a few days, Diana would be married and hosting her own gatherings.
She supposed that was another upside to marriage.
Planning events had been something she had enjoyed before Lydia became the lady of the house.
Hannah studied Diana with a concerned expression. “What has happened? Did something happen with the betrothal?”
“I saw Graham this morning. Alone.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “Diana—”
“He’s teaching me to ride.” The words spilled out. “He gave me the most beautiful horse—Luna—and we had a couple lessons.”
Hannah’s chin nearly hit the floor. “You went to his home unchaperoned? I beg your pardon…you rode a horse? What if your father were to find out?”
“Papa won’t have a say in such matters once I’m wed.” Diana touched her lips unconsciously, then dropped her hand when she realized what she was doing. “Besides, that wasn’t the most scandalous part.”
Hannah sank into the chair by the window. “Oh, Diana. What happened?”
“After the lesson, when he was helping me down from the saddle…” Diana lowered her voice. “We kissed. And then he touched me in ways that made me feel things I never knew were possible.”
“In what way did he touch you, exactly?”
Color flooded Diana’s cheeks, but she pressed on. “His hands… everywhere. My breasts, and then…” She couldn’t find the words. “Hannah, I had no idea my body could respond that way. The pleasure was so intense I thought I might faint.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “Diana, you didn’t let him—”
“Not that. But what we did…” Diana sat heavily on her bed. “I wanted more. I wanted everything. Even now, just thinking about it…” She fanned herself.
Hannah moved to sit beside her, taking her hands. “Are you all right? He didn’t force anything?”
“No, nothing like that. He kept asking if I wanted him to stop.” Diana met her friend’s worried gaze. “And I don’t know why anyone would do anything else but that.”
“Oh, my.” Hannah squeezed her hand. “You must be careful that he doesn’t take advantage of you.”
“It’s hardly taking advantage when we are to be married.
” She knew she must look like a silly school girl from the way she grinned.
“My intended has proven to be a kind man. He’s promised to show me his estate ledgers and agricultural reports so I can help with management.
It’s even more than I had thought I wanted in a marriage. ”
“That does sound remarkable,” Hannah admitted. “Most men would never—”
“Exactly. He is going to treat me as a true partner. And I already know that he is going to always be honest with me, based on things he’s already shared.”
Color rose in Diana’s cheeks again as she recalled his personal admission about his experience and how much she couldn’t wait for them to explore more together.
She forced herself to push those thoughts away.
“And then there’s Luna, she’s the most beautiful creature.
I’ve never felt so free as when I was in that saddle. I can hardly wait to ride her again.”
“Still, it sounds like you are already becoming rather attached. You must guard your heart. This all happened so quickly and there is still much to learn about the man.”
Before Diana could respond, a knock sounded at her door.
“Enter.”
Mary cracked the door and poked her head inside. “Lydia sent me to retrieve you both. Other guests have begun to arrive.”
“We must join them,” Diana said to Hannah, smoothing her skirts. “Not a word about any of this, please.”
“Of course not,” Hannah replied with a genuine smile.
They made their way downstairs, where Marina, Tabitha, and Juliana were already gathered in the drawing room.
“There you are,” Marina called to her. “How are you feeling with everything that is going on?”
“I’m anxious about how different everything will be as a married woman,” Diana replied carefully, accepting a glass of wine from a footman.
“I imagine you are,” Tabitha said, studying Diana with obvious curiosity. “Though you seem surprisingly… calm for someone facing a forced marriage.”
“I’m making the best of the situation,” she blurted. “Besides, I find that I like him a great deal. I do believe I’m growing excited about marrying Graham.”
Marina scoffed. “You certainly are making the most of things.”
Diana’s wine glass stilled halfway to her lips. “What do you mean by that?”
Juliana intervened gently. “I think what Marina meant to say is we want to make sure you are going into this marriage with your eyes open. Last week you were considering Lord Ockham as a practical match, and now you seem quite taken with Lord Powis.”
“Would you prefer I behaved as if I were being marched to the gallows?” Diana snapped, taking a larger sip of wine than was strictly proper.
“Not at all, but I don’t want to see you lose your head over a man you hardly know who compromised you at the first ball of the season,” Marina said coolly.
“Marina,” Hannah warned.
“I’m merely pointing out that Diana seems remarkably enthusiastic about what should be a rather distressing situation.” Marina crossed her arms. “One might almost think she planned it. Similar to her ridiculous plan for Lord Ockham.”
“That’s enough,” Diana said sharply. “I didn’t plan anything. But since I must marry him, I see no point in wallowing in misery. Marriage will afford me new freedoms and experiences that I wouldn’t have otherwise.”
Marina’s expression softened. “I am not trying to be cruel. I just want to ensure you keep your head about you. I will rip him apart myself if he steps a toe out of line.”
“I have always been practical. More practical than the lot of you.” Diana lifted her chin.
“But I am marrying the man regardless. We have little choice. And he’s offered me a partnership.
Respect. He’s already promised to share estate management with me and wants my input as he makes decisions about his holdings. ”
That surprised them all. Even Marina looked taken aback.
“He’s allowing you access to everything?” Juliana asked.
“We’ll go over all of it together. He values my knowledge of such matters.” Diana couldn’t hide her excitement about this prospect.
Tabitha shifted on her feet. “I hope he doesn’t have financial concerns. I heard that his cousin had quite a habit of running up gambling debts.”
Diana froze for a moment, recalling Elias’s concern that Graham had trapped her on purpose for her dowry. But she couldn’t believe he would do that. “I shall see soon enough. He promised me that I would get to go over everything with him.”
“It’s one thing to make such promises,” Marina said carefully. “Men often say what they think women wish to hear.”
“Graham isn’t like that. He is one of the most honest men that you shall ever meet.”
“You’ve known him less than a week,” Marina pointed out. “How can you possibly know what he’s like?”
The question hit its mark because Diana couldn’t refute it entirely.
“I can’t,” she admitted. “But I have to trust my instincts.”
“Your instincts led you into a dark garden with a stranger,” Marina said bluntly. “Perhaps they need refinement.”
“You overstep, Marina,” Hannah said firmly. “What’s done is done. Diana will marry Lord Powis, and as her friends, we should support her.”
“I am supporting her,” Marina protested. “By reminding her not to mistake physical attraction or empty promises for something more.”
Before Diana could respond, she heard her father Elias and Hudson approaching.
Elias’s expression was thunderous as he focused on Diana. “Sister. I trust you’ve had a pleasant day?”
The pointed way he said it made Diana’s stomach drop. “Perfectly pleasant, thank you.”
“Just how pleasant? Because we had a most illuminating conversation with Lord Ashworth this afternoon.” Elias’s voice was dangerously quiet. “It seems you were observed leaving Lord Powis’s residence today.”
Diana felt the weight of all her friends’ gazes, and worst of all, her father’s. “I was simply—”
“Simply what?” Elias snapped. “Compromising yourself further? Making this matter more precarious than it already was?”
“Or perhaps Lord Powis is taking liberties he has no right to?” Hudson chimed in.
Both Diana and Hannah flashed him a murderous expression to indicate that he should mind his business.
“He didn’t bed me, if that is what you aim to ask in front of everyone,” Diana practically snarled back at her brother, fisting her hands at her sides.
“Daughter,” her father started, his tone commanding the room. “You will not visit him again without a chaperone. Is that understood?”
Diana’s temper flared. “You cannot dictate—”
“I can and I will. You’re my daughter and still under protection, and I won’t have you become the subject of further gossip.” His voice softened slightly. “Diana, I know this situation isn’t ideal, but you cannot make it worse by behaving recklessly.”
“How is getting to know my future husband reckless?” She almost stomped her foot, but stopped herself since a childish tantrum wasn’t likely to help them see her as a woman who was an adult and about to be married.
“Because your actions impact this entire family,” Elias interjected. “This isn’t just about you. You went off in the dark with the man doing God knows what and the rest of us have to ensure that we aren’t all ruined because of it.”
Diana had enough of her brother’s high-handed tone. “Were you thinking of the implications to this family when you were quite improper with Lydia in our family home? Let’s not pretend that you weren’t a known rake gallivanting about town less than a year ago, brother.”
Elias’s face turned redder than she’d ever seen him. “How dare—”
“Silence,” their father boomed. “Both of you are out of line and this conversation ends now. Our family has always been built on love and respect. And we will extend that respect to Diana’s future husband.” He locked eyes with Diana.
Tears pricked Diana’s eyes, regretting what she said to her brother. Of course she loved him, and when he wasn’t being an odious bear, he was one of her favorite people. And she was delighted that he and Lydia had found each other.
But his days of speaking to her as his immature little sister had to come to an end. Soon she would be a married woman, and possibly a mother not long after that.
The dinner that followed was strained. The conversation stilted as everyone danced around the obvious tension.
Diana found herself distracted, thinking about how concerned her family and friends were for the situation.
She was being a bit idealistic compared to her usual practical nature. Was she truly being foolish?
But then she’d recall how tender he’d been with him. And how beautiful and wonderful he made her feel. And her thoughts were nothing but a muddled mess.
By the time her friends departed that evening, Diana felt wrung out and confused, caught between desire and doubt.
Lydia found her in the drawing room afterward, staring into the dying fire.
“Are you all right, dearest?”
Diana sighed heavily. “Everyone thinks I’m making a terrible mistake.”
“They’re worried about you. This has all happened so quickly.” Lydia settled beside her on the sofa. “And I suppose you have a point about your brother and how our marriage came about.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. Please forgive me.”
Lydia reached for her hand and clasped it. “Your brother can be a trying man. No one knows that better than me. But he is fierce when it comes to protecting his family.”
Diana squeezed her sister-in-law’s hand tight. “I know. But I don’t know what you all expect of me. I’m told I have no choice but to marry him, and then when I’m feeling content about marrying him, I’m told that’s wrong, too.”
“You are allowed to feel whatever it is you want. Only you know your own mind and heart.”
Her heart. She hadn’t considered her heart being involved in her marriage.
She had never thought about love at all.
But perhaps it wasn’t one of those things that happened in an instant, it was something that grew from partnership, respect, and honesty.
Even if the attraction she had for him had been instantaneous. But that wasn’t love.
Even though every time she closed her eyes, she could still feel Graham’s touch, and recall every detail about everything they shared.
But did it even truly matter what she felt? There was no turning back now.