Chapter Thirteen #2
“I decided I simply couldn’t wait any longer to meet my new daughter.” Augusta’s gaze never left his face, studying him. “I’ve been getting to know our Diana here. And you were right, I adore her very much.”
“The feeling is mutual,” Diana said, slipping her arm through his. Her kind touch was just another blow. “Though we are glad you have returned. Although, you look exhausted.”
“Just a long day with my solicitor.” Another half-truth. “And then I decided to walk, and it ended up being quite long.”
“Well, you’re home now.” Diana rose on her toes to kiss his cheek, and Graham closed his eyes as he hated himself more and more. “Your mother was just telling me about your childhood. Apparently, you once tried to convince your governess that Latin was optional because horses don’t speak it.”
“I was eight,” Graham protested weakly.
“You were incorrigible,” Augusta said with a strained smile. “Diana, dear, would you mind checking on our tea? I’d like a moment to catch up with my son properly.”
“Of course.” Diana squeezed Graham’s arm. “She promised to tell me more stories of little Graham over supper.”
The moment Diana left the room, Augusta gripped his arms forcing him to focus on her.
“What is the matter?”
Graham tried to pull away, but his mother wouldn’t relinquish her hold. “Nothing, Mother. I’m fine.”
“I raised you, Graham Clive. I know when you are feeling guilty about something.” Augusta’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Tell me. Now. If you have been out there making a fool of that kind, beautiful girl, I am going to take a horse whip to you.”
He couldn’t let his mother believe that he was capable of such a horrid thing. There wasn’t anything in the world that could make him be unfaithful to Diana. “I had to pay off the gambling debts that the previous Powis left. And…”
“And what? Surely it can’t be all that bad.”
“I had to use some of the funds allocated to Diana. Without her knowledge.” Speaking the words and confessing to his mother didn’t ease any of his guilt.
Augusta’s frown deepened. “Then you have to tell her.”
Graham ran both hands down his face. “I can’t, Mother. It’s just temporary. I have a property up for sale and as soon as I get the money, I’m going to replace it. She’ll never know. And then it will be like it never happened.”
The slap came swift and sharp, echoing in the quiet room.
Graham touched his stinging cheek, too stunned to speak.
“You fool,” Augusta hissed, her eyes filling with tears. “That’s how it starts. You keep certain things from your wife and then it becomes far too easy to keep more. Where does it end?”
“It’s not like that, Mother,” Graham said, still in disbelief that his mother slapped him. “I accidentally compromised Diana. Her father and brother already don’t trust me.”
“Of course they don’t trust you. You lied to them. You are still lying to them.”
Wasn’t his mother supposed to be on his side and support him?
If one person might understand, wasn’t it supposed to be his mother?
“I thought I could handle the situation and was doing what was best. If they knew about this whole mess, they might encourage her to leave. Or see me on the dueling ground. I know it’s a mess, but I love her, Mother. And I can’t lose her. I had no choice.”
“There’s always a choice. You could have told Diana the truth.
Asked for her help. Trusted your wife and what you are building together.
” Augusta moved to the window, her back rigid.
“Instead, you’ve become exactly what you tried to prevent—a fortune hunter who married for money to solve his problems.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“I know my son, and I know that’s not what happened. But I am not the one you need to convince. And you shall only do so by being honest.”
Before Graham could answer, Diana returned with a tea tray, her smile falling when she saw them.
“Is everything all right? You both look rather serious.”
“Just catching up on a few things,” Augusta said, her voice calm.
Diana set down the tray and looked between them with concern. “Nothing troubling, I hope?”
“Nothing you need worry about, sweetheart,” Graham said, the lie burning his throat. “Mother was just concerned that I might be in need of rest.”
“Well, she’s not wrong. You seem exhausted.” Diana moved to pour tea, and Graham watched her, hoping that he hadn’t ruined everything.
“Your mother’s been telling me we should take a proper honeymoon,” Diana continued, handing him a cup. “Get away from London for a while. What do you think?”
His chest tightened. “That sounds wonderful.”
And he meant it. It did sound like the most wonderful thing he’d heard all day.
“I was thinking we could visit our estates. I’m so eager to see them and confirm the strategy for the improvements we discussed.” Diana’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “And I’d like to visit with the estate managers if you would let me.”
“Anything you’d like,” Graham said, forcing a smile.
Dinner passed with Graham saying very little. He watched Diana chat with his mother, making plans for the future, and discussing every topic under the sun. He never deserved her, but he still wanted her more than anything.
After supper, they retired to their chamber for the evening.
He undressed and climbed into their bed while Diana was in the adjoining room having Mary help with her evening ablutions.
He stared at the canopy wondering what he should do.
How could he ensure he didn’t lose her, but that he could look in the mirror without hating himself?
Diana blew out the candle on the bedside table and crawled into bed with him, nestling into his side.
“You were quiet tonight,” Diana said, tracing the lines on his chest with her finger.
“Just tired.” And full of self-loathing.
“Poor darling.” She leaned closer, and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. “You need some rest. Perhaps don’t send your carriage away again.”
She was so kind and thoughtful. And he didn’t deserve any of it. He should tell her everything. Including that he was completely and wholly in love with her.
“Diana, I—”
“What is it?” Her sapphire eyes searched his face.
“You’re everything to me,” he said instead, the coward’s version of truth. But if he could just get the funds back in the account. Then he could at least prove that he had never intended for things to occur the way that they did. He had to give himself the best chance. Even if that made him a fool.
She nuzzled her nose into his neck. “I feel the same.”
His arms tightened around her. One week. Just one more week until the Devon property closed and he could replace the money.
One week to live this deception.
One week before his world was righted or it all came crashing down.