Chapter Seventeen
Diana
Diana wasn’t sure where she was. Her head hurt a little. All she knew was that she wanted Graham. Where was Graham?
“I’m here, sweetheart.” She felt movement on the bed next to her, and then she could see him. Well, mostly. Her vision was still fuzzy.
Diana gave him a weak smile. “Graham, what happened?”
The sound of her husband’s rich baritone might have made her swoon if she had been standing. “You fell from your horse, sweetheart. Please lie still. I must send for the doctor.”
Graham must have reached for the bell pull, because Mitchell entered the room. She could hear Graham’s instruction. “Send for the doctor immediately. Alert Lord Snowdon that her ladyship is awake.”
Papa? How long had she been asleep? Graham leaned to where she could see him. “My papa is here?”
“No, darling. Your brother. He stayed here last night. He sat with you for a while with Lydia.”
After a few minutes, her eyesight returned to normal, and she could see Graham clearly now. She saw an awful bruising on Graham’s cheek. She touched it gently with the tips of her fingers. “What happened to your face, Graham? Who hurt you?”
“I will tell you everything after the doctor has seen you, my love, I promise.”
Memories of the events before her accident came flooding back to her. She cringed and tears formed in her eyes. “Elias hit you, didn’t he?”
Graham wiped away a single tear from her eye with his thumb. “You have my word that all will be explained. But first, we need to confirm that you are all right.”
Elias burst into the room. “Diana? You are awake?” Lydia was on his heels.
“I’m fine, brother. Just a bit of a headache.”
Lydia clasped her hand. “You gave us quite the scare, dearest.”
“If I recall correctly, I must decide if I’m to hear my husband out. If my brother can keep his fists under control.” She gave a pointed stare to Elias.
Elias spoke next in the most apologetic tone. “I believe we may better understand each other. I hope you will give him a chance to explain.”
Diana couldn’t believe her ears when she heard her brother’s forgiving response.
“I already told her that the explanation can wait until after the doctor visits.” Graham still held onto her other hand. She needed to feel his touch. It was what was grounding her and keeping her calm. Because she loved him. And he was the one person that she had come to need more than anyone.
Mitchell entered the room, with the doctor behind him. “I hear her ladyship is awake. Can everyone step back for a moment so I can complete my exam? I’ll allow you to stay if you can remain quiet.”
Everyone nodded and lined up together against the wall, watching and waiting. The doctor talked to Diana, asking her questions to test her memory. He checked her hearing and her eyes. He examined her again for any bruising or areas hurt from the impact of the fall.
The doctor closed his bag and smiled at Diana.
“You are a most fortunate lady. You have a large bruise that formed on your shoulder, but your range of motion is good. I don’t think there will be a lasting injury.
Her cognition appears normal and no concern for her memory.
Her eyesight and hearing are normal. I will give directions to your maid for what to include in your tisane to help with the headache. Otherwise, you should be just fine.”
He shifted his focus to Graham. “I want her to rest in bed for a few days and then she can ease into her usual activities.”
Graham leaped forward and hugged the man. “Thank you so much.”
“You are quite welcome. I’ll meet with her maid now and have her bring up the tisane. Send for me if you need me, but I think she will recover nicely.”
Elias patted the man on the back, and the doctor departed.
Graham sat on the bed beside Diana, taking her hand again. “I was so afraid that I had lost you. Thank you for coming back to me.” She could see the tears forming in his sparkling green eyes, and she longed to soothe his pain.
Diana looked at Elias and Lydia. “Might I have a moment alone with my husband?”
The couple nodded in understanding. “Of course, sister. We will ensure you are not disturbed.” They left and shut the door behind them.
“I shouldn’t have run away. I should have given you a chance to explain. I just love you so much that when I found out what you were hiding, I feared that all of this had been in my head. That you’d never felt anything for me.”
“You love me?” Graham asked, genuine surprise and hope in his expression.
Diana’s eyes filled with tears. “Of course I love you, you impossible man. That’s what makes this all so much worse. I gave you my heart, my trust, everything, and you—”
“I know.” Graham’s voice broke as he shifted closer on the bed, taking both her hands in his. “Diana, I need you to hear me. Truly hear me. Not just the words, but everything I should have told you from the beginning.”
His thumbs stroked over her knuckles. “Please, sweetheart. After this, if you want me to leave forever, I will. But you deserve the complete truth.”
Diana nodded slightly, and Graham drew in a shaky breath.
“I have always wanted to marry for love. I swore that would be the only reason I married. When I inherited the title, I also inherited forty-five thousand pounds of debt from my cousin. And I refused to marry to resolve the matter, even though that was what others suggested that I should do.”
She watched him intently, seeing the truth in his eyes.
“The debt was to a man named Rothwell who…” Graham’s jaw clenched. “Who threatened to hurt you if I didn’t pay. Not just hurt you, Diana. He offered to reduce my debt if I would let him…” Then he shook.
“Graham—”
“I hit him for even suggesting it. And then he said if I didn’t pay on time, he would make me watch while he—” Graham clenched his jaw and quavered, “I couldn’t let that happen. I will die before I let anyone hurt you.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I’m a coward,” he admitted without hesitation, “Because I was ashamed. Because I wanted so desperately to be the man you thought I was—worthy of you, capable of protecting you, not some son of libertine drowning in debt.”
Graham released her hands and stood, pacing beside the bed as the words poured out of him.
“But mostly because I was terrified. The moment I saw you in that ballroom, Diana, something inside me changed and became yours. And it’s not just your beauty, though God knows you continue to take my breath away.
It was like my soul knew yours. And when we were caught in that compromising position, while I hadn’t planned it, there was a part of me that was elated.
Because it meant you would be mine. The only plan I had was to pay that blasted debt and then court you. ”
He turned back to her, his green eyes bright with unshed tears.
“And then…I fell in love with you. Truly, madly, completely in love. The way you challenge me, the way you laugh, the brilliant way your mind works when you’re analyzing those ledgers.
The way you trusted me enough to give yourself to me so completely.
And I knew—I knew I didn’t deserve any of it. ”
Graham dropped to his knees beside the bed, looking up at her with complete vulnerability.
“I told myself I was protecting you by keeping the truth from you. But I was also protecting myself. From your disappointment. From the possibility that you would realize I’m not the man you deserve.
From the fear that you would think the worst of me and that I would have tricked you into this marriage. ”
Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She wanted to grab him and hold him close and tell him that he loved him. But she knew he needed to finish speaking the words. Only then could they finally put the whole matter behind them forever.
“I used your dowry because Rothwell’s threats were escalating.
He came to our home, Diana. He was in our house and he was following me.
And the things he said… I couldn’t risk him getting anywhere near you.
So yes, I used the money. I betrayed your trust in the worst possible way because I was too proud and too afraid to simply tell you the truth. ”
Graham reached for her hand again, pressing it to his cheek.
“I used your knowledge to determine which properties to sell. I told countless half-truths, kept things from you, used our passion to distract you when you asked questions. I did everything wrong, Diana. Everything. And I am so deeply, desperately sorry.”
He drew a long breath and stared back at her.
“But please know this…nothing that grew between us was a lie. Not the way I touched you, not the way I looked at you, not a single moment of what we’ve shared in our bed or out of it.
I love you with a depth that terrifies me.
You own every piece of my heart, my soul, my very being.
You have since that first rain-soaked kiss in the gazebo, and you will until I draw my last breath.
Even if you can never forgive me or feel the same. ”
“I do forgive you, Graham,” she said, unable to stand for him to continue to blame himself.
“The property in Devon is expected to close in a week or so. Every penny of your dowry will be returned, plus interest. The sale will be enough to ensure you can complete all of the enhancements across the other estates.”
He raked his hand through his hair, and it was quite disheveled. He was gorgeous. And the good man she knew in her heart that he was. Even when he was being a dolt.
“You’re right,” Diana said, shifting on the bed so she sat up straighter. “You did everything wrong. You lied, you manipulated, you treated me like a child who couldn’t handle the truth. You broke my trust.”
His head fell and his shoulders slumped.
“But you’re wrong about one thing,” she continued.
“I don’t deserve better than you. I deserve you—the real you.
The man who gave me my first horse. The man who made me feel like I was the most beautiful and desired woman in the whole of England.
The man who loves me enough to do whatever it takes to keep me safe.
That is who you are. And that is the man I deserve. ”
His eyes glistened from unshed tears, as he came to sit by her on the bed.
“I fell in love with you, Graham. Not some version that must be perfect all the time, but you.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
“I love you. But if you ever,” Diana gave him her most pointed look, “ever keep something from me again, if you ever try to protect me by lying to me, I will make you regret it for the rest of your days. I am your wife, your partner, your equal. Not some delicate flower who needs to be sheltered from the truth.”
“I know,” Graham whispered. “You’re the strongest person I know. Stronger than I could ever be.”
“We are stronger together,” Diana said, capturing his cheeks in her hands. “I love you. Desperately. Even when you’re being an impossible, overprotective fool.”
And she wouldn’t hesitate to tell him if he played the part of a fool again.