Chapter 13
Violet
As I drive toward Adrian’s school, my mind is racing.
Why did I shut down like that?
Austin’s been nothing but kind and professional, but the second that things got personal, I panicked. Maybe it’s because I’m not used to someone actually being interested in me for me, not just for what I can do for them.
Violet, can’t you do anything right? Seriously, do you even know how to follow basic directions, or are you just as stupid as you are fat? My stomach turns every time those words creep back into my head. I hate these flashbacks to darker times. Taylor’s voice was always cutting, always there to put me down. Violet, sit up. Stop daydreaming like a child, he’d say, squeezing my thigh under the table. And when we were alone, it was worse.
I have to shove those thoughts away.
Austin showed up on time for our meeting, even though I changed plans last minute. I stayed behind to help Josy with the lunch rush, so I asked him to meet me at the shop. I was still arranging the baked goods when he walked in, and instantly, I felt a tingle all over. He had this presence that made the whole room feel smaller. His crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled up, a classic red tie—it was impossible not to notice how good he looked. His hair was perfectly styled, and his short beard gave him this rugged charm that I couldn’t stop staring at. When I realized how long I’d been staring, I looked away, but the attraction was undeniable.
He walked over, that confident stride making my heart skip a beat. Everything about him—the way his green eyes lit up when he smiled, the way his shirt fit perfectly—was impossible to ignore.
As we sat down to talk, I noticed every little thing he did. His voice was steady as he walked me through the plans for my house, bringing my vision to life with every detail. I was impressed, not just with his work but with him. The way he seemed genuinely invested in making me happy made me feel special, something I hadn’t felt in years.
Then, out of nowhere, he started asking more personal questions. I answered without hesitation, feeling comfortable around him. But when he started flirting, I wasn’t prepared for how it made me feel. His compliments made me feel seen—really seen—and that feeling both thrilled and scared me.
One minute I was fine, even flirting back a little. But the next, I pulled back. I’ve never been this forward with anyone, not even Taylor. So I don’t know what got into me for those brief moments. He just made me feel so comfortable with the way he talked to me. He has the ability to make me really smile and blush. I can’t even begin to comprehend how this man with just a few words can make me feel tingles all over my body. It’s a foreign feeling and I couldn’t get out of the shop fast enough after that call from Adrian’s school. The timing couldn’t have been better. I know, I sound like a terrible mom—I'm not happy that my son is sick. I just needed an excuse to leave the situation with Austin.
And then Taylor’s voice, like a broken record, echoes in my mind. All the criticism, the constant doubt. Those years left scars that go deeper than I want to admit. I’ve worked so hard to rebuild myself, but moments like these remind me how fragile my confidence still is.
I pull into the school parking lot and rush inside to find Adrian. The nurse meets me at the front desk, her face sympathetic as she explains that Adrian had an upset stomach but is now resting and seems to be feeling better. When I see him, his face lights up, and despite my worries, I smile back.
“Mom, I don’t feel so good.”
“I know, baby,” I say, hugging him tightly. “Let’s get you home and comfortable.”
As we drive home, Adrian dozes off in the backseat, giving me more time to reflect.
Austin deserves an explanation for my abrupt departure, but how much should I tell him? I don’t want to scare him off with my baggage, yet I also don’t want to keep him in the dark.
Maybe Josy was right. She always said I need to learn to let people in again. As I pull into our driveway, I make a mental note to call Austin later. I owe him that much.
My priority right now though is my son. I walk with Adrian inside and tuck him into bed. As I sit by his side, watching him sleep, I realize that this is where my strength lies—in my love for my son and my ability to move forward, one step at a time.
Adrian is all that matters.
After a few minutes, I stand and go to the kitchen to grab my phone.
I text Josy.
Me: Adrian is okay. He has the stomach bug.
After a few seconds, I see the three dots pop to let me know that Josy is typing.
Josy: I am so glad my boy is okay.
Josy: BTW, what happened in your meeting with Austin? You left so fast.
Me: Well, I received the call from the school.
Josy: I know that you got that call. But I wanna know how it went.
Me: It went okay I guess.
Josy: That’s it? I saw the way he was looking at you. That can’t be it.
Josy: You know what, don’t say anything. As soon as I close the shop I will go straight home and we will talk.
Dammit. Now I will have to talk to Josy when she gets here.
Me: Okay, I will cook something and we will talk over dinner.
Josy: Sounds like a plan.
I sigh and put my phone back in my pocket, already dreading the conversation that’s going to happen tonight. Josy has always been able to see right through me, and there’s no avoiding her when she wants to know something. I start to mentally prepare myself for the all of the questions that Josy will ask, knowing that she won’t rest until she has all of the details.
Even though I don’t want to talk about it, I know that talking to Josy always helps me sort through my feelings, and I know she’ll give me the push I need to confront whatever it is that’s holding me back. Maybe then I’ll be able to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions Austin has stirred up in me.
Finishing cooking, I hear a knock on the door of my small, temporary home. I stop what I am doing and walk toward the entrance. When I open the door, Josy is on the other side with a big smile on her pretty face. She enters and goes straight to the couch.
"Smells so good. What did you make?"
"Since Adrian was feeling sick, I made chicken noodle soup and toasted some bread. You want some? I made a lot because I knew you were coming over."
"Of course! You know me too well," Josy says, getting comfortable on the couch. "Now, spill. Why did you leave so fast from your meeting with Austin? You looked rattled."
I take a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. "It was just...a lot," I begin, feeling the weight of Josy's expectant gaze on me. "Austin was flirting with me, and I flirted back. I didn't know how to act afterward. It’s been so long since anyone made me feel that way. I felt seen, and it stirred up a lot of new feelings. And a lot of bad feelings left over from Taylor."
Josy leans forward, her eyes narrowing with concern. "What do you mean by 'seen'? And why did that rattle you so much?"
I ladle some soup into a bowl and hand it to her before sitting down with my own. "I mean, he made me feel like I was the only person in the room. He noticed things about me, small details that most people overlook. It was...intense. And after everything with Taylor, I guess I just don't know how to handle someone actually appreciating me."
Josy takes a sip of her soup, nodding slowly. "Violet, you deserve to be appreciated. You deserve to be seen. Austin is obviously infatuated by you, and from how you look at him, I know that you feel the same. He is a great guy and I can vouch for him. So, why are you running away from that?"
I sigh, stirring my soup absently. "I don’t know. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since anyone made me feel special. Or maybe it’s because I’m afraid to trust someone again after what happened with Taylor. I don’t want to get hurt. And he is so handsome. I don’t even know how I didn’t notice the first time I saw him. It was like I was blind to my surroundings. But now I can’t unsee him. Every time he enters the coffee shop, I can feel his presence before I even make eye contact with him."
Josy nods, her expression softening. "I get it, Vi. It's like your guard was up, and now it's starting to come down. That’s a good thing, though. It means you’re healing."
"I hope so," I say, taking a sip of my soup. "It’s just...a lot to process. Austin is different. He’s confident, attentive, and when he looks at me, it’s like he actually sees me. Not just a tired single mom, but me."
Josy squeezes my hand. "That’s because he does see you. And you deserve that, Vi. You deserve someone who sees you and makes you feel special."
"I want to believe that," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. "But it’s hard to shake off the past."
"It will take time," Josy reassures me. "But you’re stronger than you think. And you have people who care about you, who will help you through this. Like me, for starters."
I smile, feeling grateful for my best friend. "Thank you, Josy. For everything."
"Anytime, Vi. Now, let's finish this delicious soup and come up with a game plan. Because Austin is clearly into you, and I think it’s time you let yourself enjoy that."
When we are done with our soup, I clean up the dishes as Josy goes to check on Adrian.
“He snoring all bundled up in his bed. He’s growing up so fast.”
“I know. I don’t have a baby anymore.”
“Yes. My Little Dude is about to be my Big Dude.” We both laugh. “Get some rest, Vi. Probably tomorrow you will feel better about all this situation and hopefully Adrian wakes up feeling okay.”
“Thanks. Have a good night and thanks for stopping by.” I give her a tight hug before she leaves.