Chapter 12 Present Day
Present Day
The ride to Fateema’s place was quiet. She didn’t feel like talking, and her friends didn’t know what to say. They insisted on going inside with her when they arrived, and she didn’t stop them.
Fateema flopped onto her couch and released a deep breath that caused her to release the tears she’d held back for the past forty-five minutes.
“Aww, friend. Please don’t cry,” Meaghan said as she sat beside her.
“We are so sorry for encouraging you to be with Lynx. We had no idea how hard this has been for you,” Octavia said, sitting on the other side.
“I don’t want to love him, but I can’t help it. He’s the only man my heart connects with. I’ve tried and failed many times to let him go, but my heart won’t let me.”
Octavia and Meaghan didn’t know what to say to comfort her, so they let her cry in their arms until she couldn’t cry anymore.
“It’ll be okay. Now that you let him know how you really feel, maybe he’ll come to his senses,” Octavia reasoned.
“I doubt it. I’ve come to realize that Lynx is selfish. If he hasn’t chosen me after all this time, he probably never will.”
“You never know. Sometimes, it takes a slap in the face for men to get the picture. You know their brains take longer to process than ours,” Meaghan surmised.
“It’s like he doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me. I’m sick of it.”
“You might not want to hear this right now, but I disagree with you. Lynx does want you, and anyone in the same room with y’all can see and feel it,” Meaghan said. “Why don’t you move to DC?”
“Because I love Chicago.”
“More than you love Lynx?”
“No, but he’s never asked me to move to DC, so I haven’t had to choose.”
“Are you serious?” Octavia questioned.
“Unfortunately, I’m very serious. We’ve had tons of conversations about why he’s not interested in moving back to Chicago, but none about me moving to DC.”
“You’ve never suggested it?” Meaghan asked.
Fateema took a moment to think about it before answering.
There were times in the past when her and Lynx had deep conversations while lying in bed after several rounds of lovemaking.
One thing she noticed was Lynx never wanted to talk about the future, always guiding the conversation back to the present.
“No.”
“Would you consider it if he asked?” Octavia pressed.
“Possibly, but he’s never asked, so there’s nothing to consider. I can only assume he doesn’t want me there since he’s never asked.”
“Both of you have to be willing to make sacrifices if you want to be together,” Octavia added.
“I’ve sacrificed enough. It’s his turn to do something.”
“What do you mean? What have you sacrificed?” Octavia pressed.
Fateema thought about the biggest sacrifice she’d made for him, but it wasn’t something she wanted to share with her friends.
“He was my first everything. From the age of almost eighteen up until I was twenty-five, I didn’t have a sexual experience with another man, and there’s only been a few others. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved and the only consistent lover I’ve had.”
“I guess giving him your virginity was a sacrifice, in a sense, but I was thinking something like a job or an opportunity,” Meaghan said.
“I get what you’re saying, Meaghan, but her giving him her virginity could be why he has such a tight hold on her,” Octavia added. “A lot of people say it’s hard to get over the person you gave your virginity to.”
“Well, I’ve never given up a job or opportunity… but I have given up a baby.”
“What?” Meaghan and Octavia chimed simultaneously.
“What’s the deal with Shyla?” Adam asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Are y’all a thing? I mean, it didn’t seem like it, but I don’t understand why she was here if she’s not your woman.”
After Shyla left, they returned to the family room. Lynx pretended to watch the NBA playoff game with them but was actually deep in his thoughts. Adam asking about Shyla annoyed him because he didn’t want to talk about her.
“I met her a couple of months ago at a coffee shop. We’ve kicked it a few times, and we were together when I got the call about my father.”
“Did you ask her to come?” Joaquin asked.
“Hell nah. She came on her own dime and is lucky I didn’t make her stay at a hotel. She was pissed I made her sleep in the guest room.”
“It’s obvious she thinks your relationship is more than what it is,” he continued.
“She shouldn’t because I’ve made it clear what it was. I make it clear to every woman I deal with that if they’re looking for love and marriage, I ain’t the one.”
“Damn, Lynx. That’s cold,” Adam said.
Lynx shrugged. “I love Bunny, and she’s the only one I see myself spending my life with.”
“Is this how you pictured it, though, with you living in DC and her in Chicago?” Ryan asked.
“Not forever.”
“Have you talked about one of you moving?” Ryan prodded.
“I’ve made it clear I don’t want to move back to Chicago, but we’ve never talked about her moving to DC.”
“In all this time, she’s never mentioned moving to DC, and you’ve never asked her?” Joaquin questioned.
Lynx shook his head. “No.”
“What’s the issue?” Adam asked.
“Issue with what?” Lynx responded.
“Why haven’t you put forth more effort to lock Fateema down?” Adam continued but got no answer.
“How long has it been?” Joaquin asked when Lynx didn’t respond to Adam.
“What do you mean?”
“How long has it been since you and Fateema crossed the line from friends to lovers?”
“We talked about this years ago when we were all home for break.”
“Oh, yeah. I remember,” Adam said.
“Prom night,” Joaquin added.
“After all that shit that went down with Rodney at prom, we picked up some burgers and shakes and took them back to the treehouse. One thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, we were no longer virgins.”
“Hold up. You both were virgins?” Joaquin clarified, and Lynx nodded. “Damn, I figured she was, but you too?”
“I’d had my dick sucked by a few girls but hadn’t had sex. We were each other’s firsts.”
“Wow. I had no idea. However, that shit was over ten years ago. Is there something you aren’t saying?” Adam pressed.
Lynx didn’t respond because there was a lot he wasn’t saying.
“Do you love her?” Joaquin asked when Lynx didn’t respond.
“With everything in me.”
“How do you think you’d feel if she fell in love with someone else?” Joaquin pressed.
“I’d probably crash out.”
“Then it sounds like you have a decision to make. Fateema has had it with you. If you want her, you’ll have to prove it,” Joaquin advised.
“Or you’ll have to let her go so she can find happiness with someone else,” Ryan commented.
“I don’t think I can let her go. She’s home to me.”
“I get it. Y’all have a lot of history, but this stronghold you have on her isn’t fair, man. You have to love her how she needs and wants to be loved, or let someone else do it,” Adam advised.
Lynx thought about the advice from his friends and tried to imagine his life without Fateema or watching her love someone else. The thought made him sick, so he knew he had to get his shit together to get his woman… permanently.