Chapter 16
Present Day
“Did you read the letter he left you?” Kena asked.
Lynx and Kena hadn’t seen each other since the funeral, although they’d talked on the phone and texted a few times. Since he was leaving in a few days, Lynx thought it would be nice for them to get together.
She’d arrived at their father’s house a couple of hours ago, and after eating the dinner he’d ordered, they spent some time going through their father’s clothing, most of which they’d decided would be donated to a men’s shelter.
Lynx thought it was a little too soon but wasn’t sure when he’d be in Chicago again.
“Not yet. Bunny still has it, but we had a disagreement a few days ago and haven’t spoken.”
“Bunny?”
“Fateema.”
“Really? What about, if you don’t mind sharing?”
He chuckled. “You might be too young for this kind of drama.”
“I’m a very mature eighteen-year-old. You’d be surprised at the kind of drama I’ve been in.”
“Hold on, now. We may have just met, but I’m your big brother. Whose ass do I need to beat?”
It was her turn to laugh. “Nobody’s. I know how to handle myself.”
“Yeah, okay. I might have to move back to Chicago just to keep an eye on you.”
“That would be a waste of time because I’m leaving for college in a few months.”
“What school?”
“Prairie View A&M.”
“No shit? That’s where Bunny went.”
“Really? I’ll have to talk to her and get the scoop. Why do you call her Bunny?”
“Because when we met in sixth grade, she reminded me of a bunny rabbit.”
“That’s cute. You two have been friends for a long time. The disagreement must have been pretty bad if you aren’t talking.”
“It wasn’t good. I’m just giving her some time to cool off before we talk.”
“Hmm, it must have been your fault.”
“Hey, you’re my little sister. How you gon’ side with her and you don’t even know the details? You don’t even know her.”
“I don’t know you either, but that has nothing to do with it.” They shared a laugh. “However, I’m wise enough to know that eight out of ten times, it’s the man’s fault.”
“Dang, that’s cold, but you’re right this time. I messed up.”
“What did you do, and how can we fix it?”
He shared the situation with his sister, trying not to say too much but sharing more than he wanted in order to give her enough details to have an informed opinion.
“I knew you were more than best friends. I could tell by the way you looked at each other.”
“She has my heart, but the stars have not aligned for us to be together.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know… Life, I guess.”
“Nope! That’s a cop-out. Unless there is something you’re not telling me.”
“There’s a lot I’m not telling you, and most of it is probably the reason we aren’t married with a house full of children.”
“Well, all I can say is this. You only live once, and we don’t know when we’ll take our last breath. If you love her like you claim you do, you better make it official before another man comes along and steals her heart.”
“Listen to you, sounding like somebody’s mama.”
“I told you, I’m mature for my age.”
“He hasn’t reached out to you?” Octavia asked Fateema.
“No, and he leaves tomorrow, so it’s not likely he will.”
“How do you feel about that?” Meaghan inquired.
“Not great, but what can I do?”
Octavia and Meaghan had been calling Fateema every day to check on her. The work weeks were usually too busy for them to get together, so they did the next best thing and FaceTimed her.
“Have you thought about reaching out to him?” Octavia asked.
“Why would I do that? I’ve said all I have to say, so the ball is in his court.”
“I agree, but after what you shared, maybe you should talk to him about it,” Octavia reasoned.
“You both may have some unresolved feelings. If you were hesitant to talk about it, maybe he is too,” Meaghan added.
Fateema sighed. It had been ten years since she’d become pregnant with Lynx’s child, and once they’d decided how it would be handled, they hadn’t discussed it again. She hadn’t been the same since it all happened, but she didn’t think their decision affected Lynx as much as it affected her.
“I don’t know. Lynx has always been pretty open with me about his feelings. If he felt a way, he wouldn’t keep it from me… at least not this long.”
“You never know. The decision you had to make was a hard one. You were both young and probably unable to put your feelings into words. I mean, think about what you told us on Sunday,” Octavia said.
When Fateema finally opened up to her friends about the baby, she also shared that she resented Lynx for not wanting their baby.
Her resentment of him was an underlying reason why she let their situationship go on for so long and didn’t demand a real commitment—that and the fear of losing their friendship.
“He may feel the same way, but you’ll never know because you have avoided the topic for a decade,” Meaghan remarked.
“I don’t want to lose him as my best friend, but it looks like that’s already on the verge of happening. If I reach out to—hold on, someone is at the door.”
She continued to hold the phone up to her face as she stood from the couch and walked toward the door.
“Are you expecting someone?” Meaghan asked.
“No, but sometimes my neighbor brings my packages up. Who is it?”
“Lynx,” he said loud enough for all of them to hear.
She gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth.
“I guess we’ll let you go. Call us when he leaves,” Octavia said before her face disappeared from the screen.
“Bye, and don’t forget to call us,” Meaghan said before the screen went black.
Fateema took a few deep breaths before unlocking and opening the door. “Hey,” she greeted softly.
“Hey, can I come in?”
Her eyes traveled the length of his body, and she wished she could control her attraction toward him.
He wasn’t as lean as he’d been in high school and college because he’d added weightlifting to his workout regimen years ago.
His peanut butter brown skin was smooth, and he still rocked a low cut with waves.
The tattoos on his neck and arms gave him a rugged look that caused most people to second-guess what he did for a living, but Fateema thought they added to his all-around good looks.
“Sure,” she responded when her eyes made it back to his face.
She took a few steps back, opening the door wide enough for him to enter. After she closed and locked it, she turned around to find him standing close enough that she had to look up to see his face.
“I’ve missed you,” Lynx admitted.
She cleared her throat and stepped to the side to move from between him and the door. “What are you doing here?”
Her lack of response to his admission didn’t go unnoticed, but he figured he deserved it. “I’m leaving tomorrow and thought we should talk before I left.”
“Okay, let’s go sit down.”
She led him to the couch, sitting on one end, trying to stay a reasonable distance away from him, while he sat in the middle, doing the exact opposite. While she waited for him to speak, he admired her beauty.
It may have taken the boys they went to school with a long time to notice her good looks, but Lynx noticed them right away. He may not have felt comfortable expressing it back then, but as he got older, it became easier.
Her skin was a shade darker than his and was always smooth, even during the years they went through puberty.
His favorite thing about her face was her full lips, and the thought of kissing her made his dick hard.
Her eyes were light brown, and it felt like they pierced his soul every time she looked at him.
“You said you wanted to talk. I’m listening, but you’re not saying anything,” she said.
“When was the last time we went four days without talking to each other?”
There was only one time since they’d become friends that they’d gone days without communicating, and it was largely part of the reason for the lack of communication now.
“Are you sure you want to talk about the last time we didn’t talk for days?” she asked.
“I think we should. We’ve avoided it for too long.”
“Okay. You go first.”
“I was shocked when you told me, and I didn’t know how to respond.
You sounded understandably worried and frantic, and I didn’t want to say the wrong thing.
We were so many miles away, and getting to you wouldn’t be easy.
I honestly felt helpless. I tried to imagine how you felt and put myself in your shoes.
You had so much going for you, and I knew having a baby would affect your future in ways it might not affect mine. ”
“Did you want me to keep our baby?” She spoke slowly with a hint of nervousness in her voice.
Lynx could have answered before she finished her question, but he took a few deep breaths before responding. “I did.”
Tears fell from Fateema’s eyes quicker than she could wipe them away. Without hesitation, Lynx moved closer to her and pulled her into his arms. Despite her outburst a few days ago, Lynx was her safe place. He let her release the tears she’d been holding for ten years and released a few of his own.
“I wanted our baby too. I wouldn't have thought twice if you’d told me you wanted me to have our baby.”
“I thought letting you make the final decision was the right thing to do. You had goals and—”
“All this time, I didn’t think you wanted our baby.”
“Shit, Bunny. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I actually thought you didn’t want our baby, and I didn’t think I had a right to make you have it.”
“I just realized a few days ago how much I’ve resented you all these years. I love you so much and couldn’t imagine my life without you, but… it’s so hard to explain.”
“You don’t have to explain because our feelings mirror each other’s. I didn’t realize it until you said something, but I resented you for the same reasons.”
“How did we get here?”
“Lack of communication and being young, I guess.”
“We used to be so in sync. Most of the time, we knew what each other was thinking before it was said. How did we miss this?”