Chapter Eleven #2
His own violet swirls warbled as if in agreement before both entities disappeared with a flourish, though they weren’t gone entirely. At least, mine wasn’t. I could still feel it buzzing in my chest, more intense than before.
It was enchanting, and I couldn’t wait to explore it further.
There was a beat of silence that fell over the room, and I glanced up from staring at my fingers as they flexed out the residual sensation to see Zadok watching me closely, reflecting. His face flipped through several expressions, as if this entire scenario was finally hitting him, and he didn’t know how to take it.
“I still can’t believe…” He sighed, tears welling in his eyes. “I didn’t know you existed.”
Well, that answered my main question, I supposed, and the way he said it, the regret pouring from him seemed genuine. He hadn’t yet given me a reason to think he was liar, and his initial reflex wasn’t defensiveness or hostility. From our brief encounter, I suspected that he wore his emotions on his sleeve, much like I did. Excitement, fear, worry… it was all there, playing out on his face in real time. His nerves weren’t fake—as a connoisseur of anxiety, I could tell—and no alarm bells were ringing, so it wasn’t difficult for me to believe him.
Cair also wouldn’t have been so neutral around him if he sensed even a sliver of trickery, so I had to trust our judgment. There was still so much more I needed to dive into, though. More I had to dig up and figure out. I just had to list everything in order of importance. “I have so many questions for you.”
He chuffed lightly, a barely there smile returning to his face. It seemed authentically fond. “You wouldn’t be my son if you didn’t.”
The easy way he’d said those words made my heart thump.
He already accepted me .
There was a knock, and my gaze shifted to the stranger standing in the doorway. He was a hybrid—an ogre and… a Fae? His demeanor seemed larger than life, bold and unapologetic, though he barely reached Zadok’s shoulders—not short, by any means, but being a half-blood like me, he was on a similar wavelength in the height department. He had green skin, as would be expected of an ogre, yet his eyes were unmistakably Fae, black and enthralling.
There was a striking pink scar that sliced through his left eye and carried on down to the bottom of his cheek, cutting through his copper stubble. His hair was a deeper shade of red, cropped at the sides with two plaits on the top, trailing between his small black horns and stopping at his nape. He had muscles for days, and more scars littered his arms, but I tore my gaze away before it became a little too intrusive.
“Fuck,” the guy said bluntly, grinning around two protruding tusks. “I thought it was some trick.” He huffed a laugh, turning to Zadok, and I noticed his pointed ear. There were piercings lining the shell, except for an inch or two halfway up where a chunk of flesh was missing. “The resemblance is uncanny.”
Zadok parted his lips to speak, but a rhythmic snicking on the wooden floor stopped him. I frowned, and seconds later a small creature came scurrying into the room, a flurry of green scales and… were those wings?
Before I could get a proper look, it leaped onto the end of the bed, chirruping happily, and my jaw almost hit my lap.
“Leaf, get down?—”
“A dragon?!” I gasped, but the little beast snorted as if unamused.
“She’s a wyvern,” the stranger said, and I swore the creature nodded smugly. I gave her another deliberate once-over, and realization dawned.
Shit, of course . She only had two legs.
“Forgive me.” I offered her a head dip, and after a studious side-eye, she seemed to relent. Tentatively, I extended my arm toward her, aiming to let her sniff my hand and hopefully earn a head scratch, but she swerved the touch, making her boundaries clear. She didn’t retreat from my space, though, so I wasn’t too disappointed. I’d just have to work harder to win her affections.
“This is Leaf,” Zadok introduced her with a sigh. “She’s very friendly, for the most part, but also a total madam. Don’t take her attitude personally.”
Leaf lifted her chin haughtily, and I snorted.
I couldn’t believe I was seeing a wyvern with my own two eyes. This was on the same scale— ha —as mermaids. Two fantasy creatures I’d had a particular interest in as a kid. It was even better learning that she had such an arrogant disposition. Watching a wyvernling judge the world around her would genuinely go down in history as one of my life’s greatest highlights.
Third only to being flirted with by a mermaid and bonding with Cair.
“Pleased to meet you, Leaf,” I said. “You are very pretty.”
She seemed pleased by the compliment, preening like a self-absorbed cat, and fluffing out her bat-like wings, before trotting farther down the bed. She paused to dead-eye Cair—which was fucking hilarious, considering my mate dead-eyed her straight back—before huffing and plonking herself at my feet.
I almost didn’t breathe in case I ruined her peace.
“I didn’t mean to disturb your reunions,” the ogre said. “But I wanted to apologize.” He turned his attention to Cair. “I was hostile. I saw the white hair and… Well, I didn’t want anything else to happen to Zadok because of you lot.”
“I understand,” my mate responded, and I felt his fingers twitch against mine. “You were protecting your home. Your family. I’d have done the same.”
The guy grunted, saying nothing more.
My gaze flipped back and forth between the two. “Um, who are you?”
“Felix Wyne.” He puffed his chest out slightly. “Flick, for preference. I’m your dad’s…” He looked to Zadok for confirmation.
The older Fae smiled softly in return. “He is my partner.”
“Nice to meet you, Flick,” I said, meaning every word, but there was a question gathering on the tip of my tongue that I couldn’t quell. “Is this why you left my mom? Because you were in love with someone else?”
Zadok’s smile faltered, and I cursed my complete lack of tact—even Flick flinched at the bluntness. “No,” he answered, voice laden with regret. “She was— At that time, she was my everything. I had no choice but to leave her.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
There was a pause, but he nodded. “How much do you know?”
“That you opened the portal.” I started counting on my fingers. “That you were the king’s adviser, but suddenly you were erased from everyone’s memories and disappeared without a trace. That’s about it, really.”
“That’s… something, I suppose.” Spinning around, he grabbed the spare chair from beside the door, placing it in the spot he’d been standing. If I said he collapsed into it, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. “Where do I start?”
“At the beginning,” I suggested. “If you can.”
He rubbed at his thighs, taking a breath. “I was the king’s friend in childhood. We grew beside each other in the palace, and when I hit my majority, I became his adviser. I probably wouldn’t have if I wasn’t a mage, but…” He trailed off, shrugging dismissively. “After several hundred years of his reign, I opened the Veil. I was the official go-between for the Fae and humans for… oh, goodness, um, over four hundred and fifty years. Then I met Rosemary.”
Flick gave his shoulder a supportive squeeze, and for once, I remained silent.
“I don’t think I can ever tell you the story of how we met,” he admitted, voice cracking, and though I would have liked to hear about it, I wouldn’t pry for details he clearly wasn’t ready to divulge. I nodded in understanding. “But I can tell you that… she was my mate. We fell in love quickly, and we kept it a secret from the king because of his disapproval of such relationships.”
His gaze grew distant as he stared at an uninteresting spot on the floor, his fingers twitching in his lap. “Ultimately, he found out. I was already on thin ice for a number of deeds he considered disobedient—one of them being a suggestion to remove the ward to allow the monsters’ human mates to pass into the Otherworld. I was careless, growing complacent because I was so enthralled by love, and I didn’t fully consider the consequences. He banished me here, but not before ordering me to wipe all memory of myself from the Fae people so they wouldn’t come looking for me. He wanted me to suffer, helpless and alone in my punishment. I couldn’t even retaliate because he had threatened her life.”
Zadok blinked, a single tear rolling down his cheek.
My chest felt tight, and all I could manage to say was, “I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t know she was pregnant. We were always—” He cut off that line of thought as he glanced up, remembering who he was talking to. Thankfully. “The day I was torn out of the human realm by the king, we were supposed to meet. She had something to tell me. What if…” He swallowed thickly, his face draining of its rosy color. “Another hour and I might have known about you.”
“Would it have made a difference?” I mused out loud.
“I… I don’t know,” he said honestly, combing a hand through his hair, messing it up further. “It may have even made the situation worse.”
Well, that was depressing to think about, so I tried not to. “How did Cair’s memory return?” I asked, changing the subject, and he jolted upright.
“Oh! A memory erasing spell only works until the subjects see a picture or the full written name of the forgotten party. As I said to Cair—” He cut himself off, cringing as if suddenly remembering something. “ His Highness ? — ”
“Cair is fine,” my mate said, and Zadok nodded in gratitude.
“I believe his father led you both to my secret office in the library, made sure you found me, so that you would be here when you…” Died wasn’t said, but it was implied. “He always did have a flair for the dramatics.”
I frowned, looking to Cair for context. My mate gritted his fangs as if he was trying to keep a specific detail hidden, but after another insistent eyebrow raise, he sighed. “The poison that killed you was Father’s,” he growled, the tie between our souls trembling with rage. “He was the one who sent the reapers.”
“Holy shit,” I murmured. Though… why did that revelation seem almost anticlimactic? As if I’d already known, and just hearing it aloud was like confirmation that a theory loitering in the back of my mind had been right all along. I mean, the king was transparent in his disdain for me, and I’d stressed over his capabilities with my mate more than once, but that wasn’t it. It was a voice, a sentence rattling around my brain, growing more and more coherent.
“You never know who’s in the shadows, waiting to pounce.”
The lightbulb flared. “Maeve.”
“What?”
“The day we left, Maeve warned me that this was going to happen,” I revealed before staring off to the side, a disbelieving scoff whipping out of me.
That sneaky little… She had smirked in my face as she’d agreed to my deal not to tell the king about our journey, all while she already knew about the plot on my life. Technically, she didn’t lie, but she must have had a real villain giggle to herself later on. Actually, it was probably my fault for not picking up the clues. She may have said something to that effect too, but the exact details were foggy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cair asked, urging my attention back to him. He didn’t seem disappointed, but there was a slight snarl tugging at his lips, which suggested he was concealing irritation. It wasn’t directed at me, though.
“I thought it was another one of her idle threats, a way to get under my skin. She didn’t outright mention your father, so I didn’t think it worth mentioning. I’d just wanted to forget about that whole interaction at the time.”
She had threatened to kill us both, and Teighan, if I let slip about the whole dagger malarky, so I’d been a little preoccupied with that to ponder any hidden meaning in her words. I also distinctly remembered already being on edge because I was finally leaving the palace. Lapses in focus were to be expected.
Cair cursed under his breath. “I will wring her neck if she is involved.”
“If she is, then she’s playing both sides,” I said, struggling to stifle the note of awe in my tone. “Carrying out the king’s scheme while working covertly to ensure its failure? That would take a lot of nerve, even for someone as brazen as Maeve.” I shrugged. I wanted to know her motives, of course I did, but whether she was with us or against us, it wasn’t of great importance now. There was no point in digging deeper and riling Cair up when answers wouldn’t be forthcoming. It could be shelved for later. “Whatever her reasoning, if I had listened to her, this wouldn’t have happened. She wanted me alive, and even if she was under orders to help assassinate me, that fact can’t be overlooked.”
My mate released a heavy sigh. “I shall confront her in due course. Orian too. If my sister knew, chances are, my brother was associated in some capacity. They are both my father’s closest confidantes, after all.”
“Orian didn’t know.”
Cair tilted his head. “How can you be so sure?”
“I…” I hesitated. “Guess I can’t, but he offered to help me find my dad before the door appeared in the library. Orian may be a lot of things, but he doesn’t strike me as the type to offer niceties under false pretences. I don’t think he has the same inclination for deception as Maeve or your father. Not saying he’s incapable—or had the choice to refuse—but if he’d known, I truly believe he would have avoided me completely rather than feign cluelessness.”
Unless he was a better actor than I give him credit for. Who knew?
“Hm, I agree that his nature is to be avoidant rather than bothering with all the unnecessary theatrics, and you are an intelligent creature.” He grazed his thumb across the back of my hand. “You can read people better than anyone I’ve ever seen. If my brother has a hidden conniving streak, he will have misled us all.”
“Still, if it eases you, you should talk to them when we return.”
Cair nodded, and I was content knowing it would be resolved eventually.
“Why would the king send us here, though?” I asked, glancing at Zadok—who’d observed our interaction silently, and with avid engrossment. “He could’ve killed me at the palace. Or did he not want to dirty the floors?”
The older Fae hung his head in shame. “I created the poison for him over a hundred years ago,” he admitted. “He wanted to make sure to punish me too.”
Now that I hadn’t expected.
He really was fucking unhinged.
“I’m sorry,” Zadok muttered, visibly distressed. “I never meant to?—”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I assured him, hoping he picked up on my sincerity. “He’s the one who should be sorry, though I know finding an ounce of remorse in the king is as likely as getting shit from a rocking horse.” He’d probably double-down and kill me again to be sure his point was made. “You’re not to blame, and you should never have been forced to feel like you were.”
Cair nodded in agreement.
“In a roundabout way, I’m glad he did what he did.” I shrugged, snorting at Cair’s bewildered expression. “Not killing me, that was too much, but leading me to you…” I gazed up at Zadok again, who seemed on the cusp of shedding tears. “We wouldn’t have found you otherwise. We saw your name on a ledger, then there was a diary that mentioned this place, and we went off that.”
His face stuttered over the word diary , but he recovered quickly. “Ah yes. The ledger he made me keep of all the creatures he deemed a threat to the throne. Those written in there typically ended up banished or killed.”
My brow furrowed. “You wrote your own name? Even the last entry?”
“I had to. He made sure I knew at every turn that I was on his shit list for creating the Veil. It was a humiliation tactic—make me write my own name on there every time I passed through to do his bidding. Though I wasn’t responsible for whatever was written around the time of my banishment. He must have scrawled it in, then left the records to gather dust.”
I wasn’t usually the type to wish ill on anyone, but the king really tested my patience, and I hoped every single pair of his shoes had a tiny pebble inside. “If you knew he wouldn’t approve, why open the portal in the first place?”
“He did approve,” Zadok said. “ He demanded I open it. That’s what makes it all especially absurd. He wanted to learn about humankind—to gain an advantage over them. For several years, he was toying with the idea of expanding the Fae realm, of leveling out their lands for his own amusement, but as soon as he realized his people were going over there to cohabit instead of intimidate or claim territory as he’d expected, he ordered it closed.
“I managed to convince him to keep it open. Told him the people would shun him, as many had already begun setting up their lives. Luckily, he was still relatively young, so he wouldn’t risk the revolt, but he hated me for changing his mind. He punished me for it, then ordered the Veil moved to the throne room and warded to prevent human access. It let him closely observe who crossed to and from the human realm, to judge them.” He huffed mockingly. “He enjoyed that sliver of control. It kept him relatively content. For a time.”
I was already well aware of the king’s disapproval of interspecies mating. I’d figured that out the second I broke Cair’s bargain. He must have been absolutely seething inside. Good. “Until you met my mother, I’m guessing?”
He nodded. “He kept me close because I was powerful. I was an asset to his reign until I broke the one rule he couldn’t discipline with a simple beating.”
“Many creatures mate with humans, though,” I argued, a temper rising in my belly. “You weren’t the first, so why did he only punish you for it?”
“I was the first so close to the throne,” he said. “He could grudgingly accept lesser Fae bonding with humans as long as they remained at a distance. Mates mean a lot to Fae, so he couldn’t dictate their existence without causing uproar, but he drew the line at sullying the purity of the Otherworld. He knew I had the power and desire to bring your mother through the Veil to start a family, and he couldn’t allow it.”
“Could you not have lived in the human realm with her?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
It was a romantic question, and that wasn’t the mood of the story.
“I begged him to let me live in the human realm, but he refused. He couldn’t look past his hatred, or ignore the possibility of me one day having half-blood younglings who could wander through. He wouldn’t even let me send her a letter. I’d taught him some binding spells, so I couldn’t overpower him. I’d pledged myself to his service. He was my master, and I couldn’t disobey him.”
“He’s a disgrace,” Cair bit out through his fangs. “It’s even worse that he made you suffer all of that, but your half-blood son still wandered through.”
Zadok hummed. “Though the more I think on it, part of me sees it as justice, in a way. He tried to stop it happening, but he failed, and not only that, Luca is mated to the crown prince. My son and his. It’s two shots fired back.”
“That’s why he tried to kill me, isn’t it?”
“It’ll be a factor, yes.”
“So what are we gonna do about it?” I perked up, but suddenly felt a throbbing in my head. I must have made a pained noise as Cair noted it.
“Nothing yet.” He smiled tiredly, lifting the hand not holding mine to brush his knuckles across my cheek. “We can discuss it when you are healed.”
“But—”
“No buts, sweetheart.” His tone brooked no argument. “You’re exhausted. Whatever else there is to discuss can wait for another day or so.”
I couldn’t exactly disagree with him. Not only because he’d already prioritized my needs above his own, and dragging this out any longer would be totally selfish, but my eyes were stinging and my energy was flagging. That didn’t mean I was ready to sleep, though. My mind was too animated, fueled with excitement at finally meeting my dad and learning why he’d never been a part of my life. I was finding out pieces of myself too, seeing him—how he acted, what he looked like, the fact that I was a mage. All the bits I needed to begin filling the hole in my chest that had been empty for so long. I didn’t want to put that on hold for even a second. I didn’t want to close my eyes and risk it all having been a dream. I knew, logically, that he was still going to be there once I woke up, but I had waited so long, and having to wait one more day to get to know him, to really know him, felt impossible.
However, my mate was stretched well beyond his limits, and even if he wasn’t, I needed to process—reluctantly admitted. I always rushed into everything headfirst and suffered the consequences later, but with this, I had to take my time. Even if it pained me. My gut instincts were telling me Zadok was a decent guy who’d been dealt a shitty hand, and as Cair always said, my gut instincts were usually spot on. But I still needed to let it all absorb. To let myself get used to the idea that this could all actually work out without a hitch. I wanted to know everything, to learn how to use my magic, to talk to him one-on-one, and I was determined to do so, but for everyone’s sake, I had to be patient.
Well, maaaybe one or two books wouldn’t go amiss, even if they weren’t about actual spell casting. It would help keep me occupied and less maudlin.
For now.
I glanced over at Zadok, catching his eye as he set the chair back against the wall. “Can I ask one more question before you go?”
The skin between his eyebrows creased. “Of course.”
“Please can I borrow some books on magic?” I pulled out the big guns—the baby-blue puppy eyes. “Since I’m being forced to stay in and all, I think it’s only fair that I’m offered entertainment. A consolation prize, if you will.”
There was a beat of silence before Flick threw his head back and barked a singular “Ha” at the ceiling. He patted Zadok’s shoulder. “Definitely your son.”
Zadok shook his head fondly, eying me with a sense of admiration. “I will gather the materials and bring them to you tomorrow morning. Deal?”
I nodded.
Flick tapped his leg. “Leaf, come on.”
Slow as could be, the little beast lifted her head, giving him what could only be described as a scathing once-over, but ultimately, she decided to obey.
Zadok smiled at me as he retreated, but missed his footing as he turned toward the door. Luckily, Flick had anticipated his clumsiness, and reached out one-handed to steady him, a mildly exasperated sigh flaring his nostrils. I couldn’t help but grin to myself at the familiar scene, peering up at Cair from the corner of my eye to find he was already sending me a knowing look.
No DNA test needed.
The door closed, and I let out a slow breath, giving myself a minute to just be . A yawn disturbed my plan to chat Cair’s ear off, spending an hour rehashing everything he’d been present for. I liked to go over things multiple times to make sure I was on the right page. Mostly I wanted to rebel against the order to go to bed, to prove I could stay awake, but I wasn’t fooling anyone.
But seriously, how can I be dead for twelve hours and still be so tired?
Cair helped me shuffle down the bed until I was once again lying on my back. He tucked me in, making sure I was comfortable before planting a kiss on my cheek and settling in beside me—on top of the covers, but my eyelids were suddenly too heavy for me to query it. He played with my hair, exactly how I liked it, huffing a soft laugh when I nudged his fingers for rougher scritches.
“I love you too,” he said, voice a silky-smooth murmur. I gazed up at him, my brow furrowed in confusion. “It was the last words you said to me before your eyes closed in that meadow, and I didn’t get to say them back.”
Realization dawned, and I smiled. “I know you do.”
“Forgive me. If I had listened to you… If I had?—”
“It’s not your fault.” I shimmied closer to him, resting my head on his chest. “I know nothing I say right now will erase the landslide of feelings that are piling on top of you, but please trust me when I say you are not to blame, and I’ll happily repeat those words to you until they sink in. You’ve always done your best for me, Cair. Always put your entire soul into every gesture, no matter how small. You love me unconditionally, you give me everything I could ever need or want in this lifetime and the next, and I know you would not have put me in your father’s path if you’d believed, even for a second, that he would do this.” I tilted my head to peer up at him, my expression resolute. “There was nothing you could have done. He fooled us. He tried to tear us apart, but that was his biggest mistake. We’re stronger than that, we’re resilient, and he won’t succeed with whatever bullshit he’s brewing. We’ll make sure of it.”
A single tear tracked down Cair’s cheek. “What did I do to deserve you?”
“Paid your taxes on time?” I joked, delighting in the faint laugh I earned in return. This wasn’t one of those minor inconveniences that could be resolved in an instant; it would take time and persistence, but we would figure it out. We always did. I was half convinced nothing short of an apocalypse could separate us at this point. I mean, death was pretty drastic, and we dealt with my self-conscious thought spirals on the daily, so what else was there to conquer?
Yeah, whatever happened in the days ahead, whatever forces tried to worm their way between us, I was sure we’d overcome it. We had each other, and we had the promises we’d made to stand side by side until the end of time.
That was all we needed.
“I love you to the stars and back,” I said. “And even if you’re having a hard time imagining a happy ending at this very moment, we’ll get through this, just as we have with everything else life has thrown at us. Together .”
He nodded, and swept the stray curls away from my face. “Together.”
I nestled against him once more, tucking my head under his chin and sighing contentedly. The sound petered out into a snort as a thought came to me. “What a pair we make, huh? Reassurance has to be our love language.”
“Hm, indeed. It’s undeniable that we’re perfectly matched.”
He wasn’t wrong, and I couldn’t have been more gratified with that fact.
“But you absolutely should listen to me more,” I muttered as my eyes closed, my tone light. “My instincts have a track record of being pretty spot on.”
There was a breathy huff, and an arm was placed protectively over my stomach. “I will,” he said before burying his nose in my hair. “I swear it.”