Chapter 2 #2
“I bet. I don’t have any siblings, but if you ever went away for all those years, I’d be sick to my stomach daily.”
“So, imagine my pain. We haven’t even known each other for a decade yet. This man knew me before I even knew myself. That’s why I never even mention his name. They broke my heart when they gave him that time. It hurts to even think about it or him.”
“What did he do?”
“Killed my ex-boyfriend.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I sat up in my seat, trying to gather my thoughts.
“I caught him cheating, and being the narcissist he was, he got mad at me for something he’d done and getting caught.
I left him, but he wasn’t having it. A week after I called it quits, he showed up at my apartment.
It was late at night, and I didn’t even notice him.
Usually, I’m a little more aware of my surroundings.
My brothers have always taught me to be.
He caught me off guard. I feel like he would’ve killed me had Luca not pulled up.
He was coming over for a plate that I’d put up for him.
I’d cooked dinner, but he wasn’t able to make it.
I ran to the gas station to get him some wraps because he loves to smoke before he eats, and I wanted him to be comfortable.
When I got back is when Chauncey attacked me.
Anyway, long story short, he had a white judge and prosecutor who refused to give him manslaughter because he had a prior gun charge on his record.
He wasn’t supposed to be around any weapons.
He was given a sentence of ten years. He’s done eight and is coming home. ”
“Lyric, you’ve never…” I started, but she interrupted me.
“Ever, there’s a lot that I’ve never told you.
Not because I didn’t want to, but because telling you one thing would require me to tell you why that thing is or how it came to be.
Luca is one of those things. My past relationship, one of those things.
I was with Chauncey from seventeen until I was twenty.
My brother was sentenced the week before I turned twenty-two. I met you a few months later.”
“I had no idea.”
“I lost two men I loved that night. Though Luca didn’t physically leave me until he was sentenced, I knew it was coming and no matter how strong he wanted me to be, I couldn’t prepare myself not to see him for so long.
I felt like it was my fault, too. That’s why I understand and have never judged your situation at all.
I know what love feels like, and I know what redemption feels like too.
I want that for you, so I’ve stayed out of the way until you was ready for it. ”
“Did he pull up while he was still there?”
“Luca pulled up while he was outside dragging me like a dog. He’d never fought me so hard.
We’d had little fights, but never on that level.
I should’ve left then, though, when the little fights began.
I thought it was just how relationships worked, but I know better now.
If a nigga has to put his hands on me, he can’t have me. That’s it.”
“And, that’s why – that’s why you haven’t been in a relationship since,” I repeated the words I recalled her saying.
“Since my ex. That’s why I’m always saying that.
I cannot put my people’s lives and freedom on the line again for the sake of love.
It’s not worth it. The minute I feel myself falling, I’m out.
” Lyric chuckled though I could hear the pain she was trying to disguise.
She was only laughing to keep from crying.
“Before meeting you, I was a mess. Not the way I moved or anything like that, but my life. My brother had gone to jail, my ex was dead, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and my other brother was wilding. He was lashing out about Luca’s situation and it wasn’t pretty.
For the first time, money couldn’t even dictate his outcome.
They were out for his life, and they got a big chunk of it. ”
I listened as Lyric revealed things she’d kept buried inside.
She didn’t mention her life before we met that much.
She only spoke about life after, but I always figured it was because that’s when life really started for her.
At twenty-two that’s when it really started for me and that’s all she ever really heard about on my end, too, but hearing her explain her reasons made all the sense.
She’d blocked it all out because it was too painful.
Ping.
Ping.
My phone’s screen lit up as notifications came flying in. I wasn’t familiar with the number they’d come from, so I bypassed them to get to my call log. My mom was the first number on the list. I tapped the screen and dialed her up.
“It’s your mommy, Em,” my mother said to Emorey, who I assumed was near.
After a bit of ruffling and heavy breathing, her little voice boomed through the phone.
“Mommy?” Emorey answered the phone.
“Hi, baby. What are you doing?” I could feel my smile as it pushed my cheeks further into the sky. As tired and unwell as I was, my girls always brought a smile to my face.
“Nothing,” she responded. “Where are you?”
“Mommy is taking care of something really important and will be back in time to pick you up from school, OK?”
“OK.”
“Are you being good for your grams?”
“Yes,” she answered, nodding her head.
“What about Essence? Where is she?”
“Her in there. Her still sleeping.”
“Mom!” I started.
“I was on my way to get her up when you called. She’s already dressed. She wanted to lie down until I got Emorey together and it was time to go.”
“Well, it’s about time for you guys to leave out.”
“Ummm hmmmm. I got this. I don’t need a manager or a monitor,” my mother sassed.
“Alright, now, your mouth getting a little too sassy. How old do you think you are, honey? I will take out my belt,” jokingly, I warned.
“Goodbye, Ever. I’ll beat your ass before you can beat mine.”
“And she’s using profanity. Wow.”
My mother ended the call, not up for my crap so early in the morning. I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten the energy to even give her all that I did. Because, as soon as I ended the call, I was slumped in my seat with my head in my hand again.
Oh yeah, I thought, remembering the notifications that were sitting in my message thread. I unlocked my phone again and opened the new, unread messages from the number that was unfamiliar to me.
Hope you got home safely. -C
Good morning. Can I interest you in a conversation over breakfast? -C
“He texted,” I spoke my mind, though I hadn’t meant to.
“Who? The guy from last night?” Lyric wanted to know.
“Yeah. Cedric, I think his name was.”
“That’s it.” She nodded. “I like him. He’s not overbearing and he’s not in Channing. Honey, that’s good money, seems like good dick, and some distance. It’s just what you need right now. Nothing serious.”
“Right. Nothing serious. I’m not even looking to have sex right now. I just want to give my little coochie a break. She gets me caught up. I can’t trust her.”
“OK then, good coochie. Must be nice,” Lyric sang.
“Shut up. I guess I should decline this breakfast invitation and let this man know that I do not live in Cadet or nowhere near. I was only stopping by.”
“Ummm. Hmmm. But let him know that he’s invited to Channing, though.”
“Not really, but whatever.” I shrugged.
Hi. I wish, but I was only stopping through Cadet for the night. I’m on my way back home now. Maybe another time?
Where you live?
Channing.
You right up the street.
If you say so.
I know so. What you getting into this weekend?
I’m working this weekend and every weekend up until the 29th.
Well, it seems like I’ll be seeing you on the 29th, he responded, unfazed by the distance.
The screen on my phone seemed so small or maybe it was only because my eyes were hurting. Words were tinier than usual and it was taking me a bit longer to read the messages that appeared on the screen. I decided to give it a rest and close my eyes for a brief moment.
“You got anything in particular you want to hear?” Lyric nudged me to ask.
“Silence.” I tittered.
“Come on, Ever. I need something to keep me up until I get there,” she whined.
“OK. OK.” I grabbed her phone and unlocked it. Her music app was already open. I searched for some goodies and began compiling a playlist for us.
Though exhausted, sleep didn’t come easily. Too worried about Lyric’s driving capabilities under the circumstances, I couldn’t rest. So, instead, I played the DJ as we continued the forty-five-minute drive.
“If his status ain’t hood, I ain’t checking for him,” Lyric sang while I stayed quiet. For once, those were lyrics I could no longer relate to.
“Got to be street if he looking at me, I need a soldier,” I joined, knowing that no matter what type of man I met and married in the future, I wanted him to be familiar with my urban world.
That part would never change. No matter his profession, I wanted him to know what it looked and felt like to grow up in a Black neighborhood. That was a box he had to check or he couldn’t check for me. It was simple.
The sun had settled in its position, which happened to be in the parking lot of the prison where there wasn’t a tree in sight for shade.
The wait for Lyric’s brother had officially commenced, which meant that it was safe for me to rest my tired eyes and body, but the sun’s brightness was unbearable, forcing me to climb to the back where our bags were to grab something to help shield my eyes.
I found the shirt that I’d worn to Cadet the day prior.
Black, it was the perfect shield. Before I was able to climb back up, Lyric had the back door open as she adjusted the seat cover to her liking.
“Ma’am, what are you doing?” I chuckled.
“I’m about to lay the hell out as soon as he gets in. I want to have my bed prepared.”
“If you’re back here, then where the heck will I sleep?”
“Shit, either on top of me or in the front seat. You can sleep sitting up. I can’t to save my life. I have to be laying down.”
She was right. I could sleep upright if necessary. Her passenger seat reclined enough so that I didn’t have to, though. If I let it back far enough, it touched the back row, nearly lying flat. I didn’t even put up a fight when I thought about it.
“You’re right,” I admitted, climbing back into the passenger seat where I began to get comfortable. Sleep was waiting impatiently for me. With heavy eyes, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was out completely.
Bzzzzzz.
Bzzzzzz.
Bzzzzzz.
“Can you hand me that?” Lyric asked me as she pointed toward her phone, which had stopped playing music to alert her of an incoming call.
“Sure.” I removed the phone from the cup holder and laid it in her palm.
She slid her perfectly manicured nails across the screen before saying, “Hey, what’s up?”
“You made it?” The sonorous baritone consumed me, demanding my full attention.
“Good morning to you, too, Laike.”
Her brother, I concluded once she revealed the name.
“Yeah, all that,” he calmly, collectively responded.
“Yes. We’ve made it.”
“Aight. They’ll release him around nine.”
“Nine? I thought it was eight?”
“Na. I told you that so you’d be there on time. I know how you like to get your beauty rest and shit.”
“Laike, are you serious? We’re here an entire hour early. What do you expect me to do in a parking lot for an entire hour?”
“Get some sleep. Seems as if you could use some. Have you seen yourself?”
“Shut up. I had a long night.”
“That goes without saying. Get yourself together before he exit those gates. He’s already been worried about you.”
“Why?” Her brows furrowed as she frowned.
“Because that’s what big brothers do, Lyric. Just pull yourself together, love. Have that nigga to call me when he touches down. Get some rest.”
“Wait.”
“What’s up, baby girl?”
“I love you,” she rushed out.
“Always,” he responded.
My heart swelled listening to the exchange. The love was in Lyric’s eyes as she stared into her phone at her brother. They ended the call shortly after.
“He hates talking on the phone,” she shared with me. “But he also hates he couldn’t be here. I can imagine that won’t be the only call from him. I’m sure he will call me more today than he does in a month.”
It wasn’t until she mentioned it that I realized in the three weeks I’d been at her home, I’d never heard them on a call.
Given our schedules didn’t always align and we were often in our respectable corners, but I’d never heard a peep from him.
If I had, I would’ve remembered. That voice wasn’t easily forgotten.
“Awwwww, Baby Lyric.”
“Shut up.”
I was so accustomed to the strong-willed and fierce woman that had become my best friend from a distance that it was hard recognizing Lyric, the little sister, but since I’d gotten home from work, she’d been right in front of me.
I could see that her brothers were her safe places.
With them, she could peel back her layers of protection and remove the shields.
In their worlds, she could be vulnerable.
She could be the softest version of herself, and the thought of having someone be to her what she was for me made me utterly satisfied.
“I’m about to get some rest for this hour.
Don’t wake me up until we’re leaving. As a matter of fact, don’t even wake me up then.
Wake me up in Channing. I plan to sleep the entire ride there.
” I got comfortable in the passenger seat, placing the black top over my entire face. The sun was brutal with its rays.
“Hard as you sleep, it’s possible.”
“Well, in this case, that’s a great thing.”