Chapter 10
LUCIAN
Ipassed Corbin fucking Rose over the arm of the couch with a nod. He didn’t break his rhythm as he observed Aspen in my arms, taking note of us heading upstairs.
Knowing he had the rest of the evening handled removed the last of my responsibilities, allowing me to devote my full attention to Aspen.
When we reached our room, I forced myself to lay her on the bed. As much as I wanted to keep her in my arms the rest of the night, she needed me to take care of her.
She whimpered when I laid her down, almost making me forgo my plans so I wouldn’t have to let go. “I’ll be right back, princess,” I assured, smoothing my hand over her hair.
With a small pout, she rolled to her side, curling into her pillow.
I rushed to the bathroom, started a bath, and mixed in lavender and magnesium salts to help her relax.
While that filled, I grabbed a water bottle, towel, and any other essentials she may need.
I dimmed the lights and lit an array of candles, letting their flickering flames and the city lights beyond the glass wall illuminate the room.
On my way out, a dark blur caught my attention, and I stopped to find a reflection I almost didn’t recognize. I found wild eyes and fidgeting hands. I found a man running around as if this were a first date, desperate to impress the girl.
I studied my reflection and caught glimpses of the man I’d been before my divorce. My brows furrowed as I looked closer, searching for signs of how it made me feel, because when I turned inward, conflicting emotions pulled me in opposite directions, threatening to rip me in half.
Part of me remembered this feeling. I remembered how much I liked it.
Another part remembered the plummeting sensation when the eagerness, hope, and joy were ripped away. I remembered never wanting to feel that again. I remembered promising myself I wouldn’t.
But I’d never been in a situation that came close to making me even think about those feelings. I never allowed myself to. Until Aspen.
Standing there, finding hints of my old self felt a lot like reaching into the fire, hoping to not get burned.
No. No.
I stepped away.
I couldn’t get burned if I never got close enough.
Shaking myself back to reality, I combed my fingers through my hair and pulled my shoulders back, slipping into the calm, control of a Dominant.
I had a submissive who’d performed beautifully tonight.
It was my job to take care of her after—nothing more.
All the rushing around had nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with the relationship we agreed upon.
Despite my bravado, my heart still thundered in my chest when I found her curled into a ball with her eyes closed, clutching the pillow to her chest as if searching for something to hold onto to keep herself grounded.
She complained when I pried the pillow from her grip, but I assured her she didn’t need the pillow when I was right there.
“Okay,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around my neck as I scooped her up and carried her to the bathroom.
“I’m going to undress you now,” I explained, sitting her on the bathroom counter. While I didn’t explain myself when we played, I knew how much she liked knowing what came next, so I took the time to tell her about each step in aftercare. It helped her relax and avoid spiraling into sub drop.
Her amber eyes locked on mine as I bared her soft skin and lush curves. I placed the diamond lingerie aside, promising myself I’d make her wear it one day around our home before I fucked her in it.
Later.
Again, I picked her up and carried her to the tub. She hissed when she came into contact with the water.
“Too hot?”
“No. Just need to get used to it,” she said, sinking against the tub, resting her head along the back ledge.
“Good. Now, just relax. Let me take care of you.”
Her eyes slid closed as I pulled a stool over to sit and washed her body. I would have thought she was asleep if it wasn’t for the occasional contented hums of pleasure.
“Thank you for tonight,” she said softly.
I wrung out the washcloth and rested my elbows on the tub. “How did tonight make you feel?” I asked, studying her face—not wanting to miss any detail of her response.
Her brow pinched as she rolled her lips between her teeth, the hesitation tightening around my chest while I waited for her answer.
Unable to sit still, I smoothed my thumb along the groove between her brows, remembering a time I worked so hard to make it appear, and now wanting to do anything to ease the tension.
With a deep breath, the crease vanished, and she rolled her head to look at me, a smile sparking in her gaze. “Cherished. Powerful.”
My chest expanded too big for my skin—the sensation uncomfortable and easy all at once. I put that look there for her. I gave this to her. And the way she took it for herself—the way she allowed me to offer it, filled me with more pride than I knew what to do with.
“Good.” The word almost got caught in the lump in my throat, and I coughed before continuing. “You are both of those things.”
The crease reformed, and she looked away. “I haven’t been, though. Not for a while. Not really.”
“What do you mean?”
She glided her hands across the top of the water, creating soft waves that occasionally bared more of her chest, teasing me with glimpses of her nipples.
I swallowed and ignored my hardening cock.
Now wasn’t the time. I stayed silent, giving her as much time as she needed to process her thoughts.
The way her teeth dug into her lip alluded to how difficult it was for her to say, making me all the more eager to hear it.
“I was always so in control of my emotions, so I wouldn’t have to listen to ignorant people say I was emotional because I was a Hispanic woman,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“After my mom died, the emotions were too much—too big for me to control, and I needed a release. So, I used sex as a way to…not act out…but let go. I abandoned myself to it, exploring and experimenting, giving over to every emotion.”
She paused, her hands balling into fists on her knees. Her breath sharp and fast, echoing in the silence.
“But then they took that from me.” She whispered the confession, but it might as well have been a scream.
And I wanted to scream with her.
I’d hated those assholes from the first moment she told me about them, but watching a single tear slide down her cheek now sent a whole new level of rage burning through my veins.
“And now you’ve taken it back,” I said, somehow sounding far calmer than I felt. I caught her tear before it fell from my chin, wiping away the silvery track before bringing the salty drop to my lips.
She huffed a laugh. “More like you took it back.”
“No, Aspen,” I reprimanded, gripping her chin to force her attention on me.
“I merely presented an option. You took it. Even when we play, you decide what happens to you—what you do and don’t want for yourself.
You chose this for yourself because you deserve to be cherished.
Because you are powerful, and you just needed someone to help you remember that. ”
Moisture flooded her eyes, clinging to the edge of her lashes before spilling over.
The candlelight flickered in her damp eyes, illuminating the golden depths as if they were made to dance with fire.
The tears slid over her lips, and I brushed them away with my thumb, lingering to stroke back and forth.
I lost myself in the lush curves, unaware of them pulling me closer, like a moth to a flame, until her breath stroked across my own.
Her tongue swept out, brushing my thumb, and the groan it tore from my chest carried a need I’d been denying since the day I lost control in my office months ago.
The need to feel her mouth on mine.
The need to have her tongue brush against my own.
The need to taste her.
I needed so much, but always held back—always stayed in control.
Fuck control.
I closed the gap, slamming my lips into hers, groaning at their plush welcome.
Water sloshed against the sides of the tub as I gripped the back of her neck and pulled her to me.
Her tongue stroked against the seam of my mouth, and I opened, desperate for more. Where she was tentative, I conquered. I pushed my tongue inside and tasted every inch, wanting to burn the intoxicating flavor into my memory forever.
The kiss turned messy, desperate, and frantic.
I needed more.
Without stopping, I looped her arms around my neck and pulled her to stand, sliding my hands up and down the slick curves that always drove me mad. I gripped the backs of her thighs and lifted until she wrapped her legs around me.
Water soaked through my clothes, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was getting naked and burying myself so deep inside her, I forgot what it felt like to not be there.
I broke the kiss with a ragged growl, hating to stop, but needing to lay her down so I could get rid of my damn clothes.
I wanted to rip them off and get back to kissing her, but then she fell back to her elbows and licked her swollen lips.
She watched me with hunger, and I wanted to tease her to the edge of starvation.
I soaked up every inch of bared skin—every minute movement. Her firm thighs rubbing together as I undid one button at a time. Her chest heaving over ragged breaths as I unfastened my pants. Her pebbled nipples as I slid my pants over my hips.
I groaned, my hard length springing free, swollen to the point of pain.
“Lucian,” she whined. “Please.”
“What, princess?”
“Kiss me.”