Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
MERRI
Shoes dangling from two fingers, I tiptoed toward the front door, not wanting to alert any of my mates to what I was doing.
Malice, I knew, was out cold after a very active night.
The others were more of a guess, but for the moment, they seemed to be in their rooms. Or at the very least, not between me and my goal.
I had to get to Lilith. There were answers I desperately needed, and she was the only one who could give them to me. The dream I had last night proved it. I couldn’t get the last echoes of it out of my mind. Me standing at the horsemen’s graves, all four of them, with Lucifer by my side.
At first, the idea of them giving up their mantles to be with me sounded romantic.
But then reality crept in. If they were mortal, that meant they could die.
Not just eventually, but possibly at my hand.
What if I kill them one night in a desperate feeding session?
It’s happened before, when I let myself get too hungry.
Sure, I’d been better about managing my needs, but not around humans.
Humans were still off-limits.
Unless there was a screen separating us.
I let out a heavy sigh as I reached my aunt’s door. She opened it before I could knock.
“Merri? Is everything all right?” She peered down the hallway in either direction, as if she could discern the reason for my visit. “I could sense your anxiety from the other room.”
“The horsemen want to give up their mantles for me,” I blurted.
Lilith’s eyes widened, then she pulled her robe tighter around her and moved to let me inside her office. “This is a conversation best had behind closed doors.”
She gestured for me to take a seat in one of the overstuffed chairs while she padded her way over to an electric tea kettle I’d never noticed before.
It was the most domesticated I could recall seeing her.
Without a full face of makeup, her hair pulled up in a messy bun, and her usual dominatrix garb, she looked like she could be my college roommate. Not that I’d ever made it to college.
As soon as the tea was ready, she brought me a cup, then poured one for herself and settled across from me. “Now, tell me exactly what they said. Start from the beginning, chicken.”
The term of endearment had me cracking a smile. She hadn’t called me that in years.
Lilith seemed so untouchable, but the truth was she was a mother hen, and we were all her little chickens. She took care of us in her way.
After another heavy breath, I recounted the night before. Well, the parts leading up to the delicious sex on the couch. That was probably the part she’d be most interested in, but it wasn’t why I was here.
“I see. That is quite the grand gesture from all four of them. Why do you seem so distraught over it?”
“Because they’d be mortal.”
My aunt blinked at me. “And?”
“And I’m still Famine’s daughter.”
“At the risk of repeating myself . . . and?”
“And I could kill them!”
Lilith sat back and stared at me. After a full beat of silence had passed, she tipped her head back and laughed.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t see how that is at all funny.”
My aunt collected herself and wiped tears from under her eyes before taking a long breath. “Merri, daring, you could no more kill them than you could harm Lucifer at this point. They are your mates. You’re not capable of hurting them.”
I shook my head. “The horsemen are my mates. They aren’t human beings. They’re immortals capable of withstanding my power.”
“No, you silly sausage. They are capable of withstanding your power because they’re your mates. Nothing else.”
“But Jimmy . . .”
“Wasn’t your mate, pet. He was your first love, but he wasn’t destined for you. The magical bonds you’ve solidified with your five men are what tie you all together. They could be humans, angels, shifters, or vampires. It wouldn’t matter what species they were. Your bonds protect them from you.”
Relief had me slumping in my seat before one salient point had me sitting back up.
“But they can still die. If not by my hand, then by a car, or infection, or—”
Lilith raised a hand, halting my words. “You’re not listening, poppet. Your mates will live as long as you do. Your souls are quite literally bound. Those magic tethers? They anchor you to each other. Mortal or not, their lifespans are the same as yours.”
“Even Lucifer?”
Lilith made a considering face before nodding.
“I’ve yet to meet a true fated mate bond that survives without its counterpart.
They either go mad, seek out death, or fate has other gifts in store for them.
As you know, there can be more than one mate out there in the world.
So, if you wanted my best guess, Lucifer is likely to leave this plane alongside you. ”
That pit in my stomach slowly disappeared as she reassured me. They wouldn’t die. I wouldn’t have to lose any of them. As long as we won this battle, of course. If that didn’t happen, the point was moot because we’d all be dead anyway.
As if summoned by my thought, there was a rapid knock on the door before Moira popped her sapphire head in.
“I don’t recall inviting you in, Ms. Belladonna.”
“Sorry, not sorry. I came to get you. We know where the last weapon is.”
Lilith shot me a look before setting her teacup inside. “In that case, I suppose I should get dressed.”
Moira winked. “Don’t change anything on my account. This fresh-faced pin-up girl thing you’ve got going on is really working for you. You’re like a raven-haired Sabrina Carpenter.” She made a little claw with her hands before adding, “Rawr.”
Lilith winked as she stood, her robe clasped shut with one hand. “Yes, but we can’t have everyone distracted by me when we need them focused on the task at hand.”
“Good point.”
My aunt swanned out of the room, leaving Moira and I alone.
“You okay, babycakes?” the witch asked, giving me an appraising once-over.
“I will be. Once we get this weapon.”
She nodded, then held out her hand. “Come on, then. Let’s go see what the nerd herd has for us.”