Chapter 38
Chapter
Thirty-Eight
ASHER
Idon’t know if you were aware, but Cthulhu was as fucking disgusting in reality as he was in fiction. Especially with the way he was vomiting out terrifying little floating eyeball tentacle creatures.
Honestly, the accuracy where he was concerned had me wondering if perhaps this wasn’t his first visit topside. Pop culture had to get its references from somewhere.
“Listen, I’ve enjoyed my fair share of tentacle porn, but this one is not doing it for me. Plus, he stinks,” Remi said, pinching his nose.
“That’s the sulfur from the hellmouth.”
Remi frowned at me. “Are you sure? How do you know?”
I pointed at the gaping volcano nearby.
“Oh! What if we wicked witch this one?” Remi was bouncing like an excited puppy. “You know, throw water on his stinky ass until he melts?”
Caleb let out a grumble, then sighed. “It’s raining right now, Remi. He isn’t going to melt. If we’re lucky, the precipitation won’t turn into acid from the sulfuric fumes rising out of the belly of that volcano.”
“Okay, fine. What are the odds an equally disgusting monster jumps up from the bowels of the ocean and just eats him?” Remi asked, head tilted like an inquisitive bird.
“You just don’t quit, do you?” Kai asked, his voice a mix of awe and exasperation.
“I’ll quit when I’m dead.”
Rosie smirked and patted his hand. “I love you.”
“Love you, too, baby girl.”
“I hate to break up this love fest, but we’ve got more problems than a tentacle god from hell.
That’s not lava pouring out of the volcano,” I said, pointing to the flow of what had appeared to be magma.
Unfortunately for all of us, it wasn’t a deadly representation of Earth’s molten core.
No, that would have been lucky. This was an unending army of demons hitching a ride on hellfire.
“Fuck,” Kai whispered under his breath.
“Okay, so we need to send Grabby Hands back to hell, and also deal with an entire army. Cool cool cool. Easy.”
“Grabby Hands?” I asked.
“I don’t know, dude. I was spitballing.”
“But . . . why?”
“Because, Asher, naming things makes them less scary. Would you rather I went with the obvious and predictable Octopus Face?”
I didn’t answer, and he kept going.
“And then he has his little octopi? Octopuses?”
Chaos cleared his throat. “If you’re trying to be technically accurate, the Greek plural is octopodes.”
Remi lit up like it was the Fourth of July, and I knew before he opened his mouth what was coming next. “We’re about to be ok-top-uh-deez nuts, bitches!”
Kingston chortled and high-fived Remi. “It was low-hanging fruit. But if you hadn’t said it, I would’ve.”
“I mean, it would have been a crime not to.”
“Agree to disagree,” Kai said, before returning his attention to me. “I think we should put me in front of the formation since I’m fireproof.”
“That’s a call for Nord. He’s our general,” I replied.
Chaos let out a snort of complete disgust.
“Dude, we’ve been over this. He got the job before you joined the team.”
His eyes flashed with rage a moment before a shock wave erupted from underneath him, causing everyone in his vicinity to stumble, except for the nearest demons. They were reduced to ash.
“Oooo-kay. Someone is feeling his feelings. It’s good not to keep it bottled up.” Remi patted him gingerly on the shoulder. “Good horseman. Very strong.”
I not so subtly grasped him around the wrist and pulled him behind me. If he wasn’t careful, it wouldn’t be Cthulhu or the demons he’d have to worry about. Chaos would take care of him for them.
“What was that for?” he groused.
“You’re cruisin’.”
“Am not.”
“You seriously are, Remi. Trust me. It’s not going to end well. Let’s not test your luck today. All right?”
“Motherforking shirtballs,” Rosie said, her voice barely a whisper.
I followed her gaze into the palm trees to the west of the lava flow. Demons, as far as the eye could see, were rushing toward us, coming from the hills.
“Is that a fucking whale?” Caspian asked, pulling my attention toward the open water.
“Oh, that’s definitely not a whale.” My stomach clenched as the black shape grew closer and we all realized exactly what it was.
A roiling mass of demons rising as one from the depths.
“F-fuck. W-we’re surrounded,” Ben said.
Alek came rushing by, shouting as he passed, “Battle formations, now!”
“Fuck this,” Kai grumbled, taking off at a dead run before jumping into the air and transforming into a massive dragon.
“Is he abandoning us?” Kingston asked.
“No, l-look,” Ben said, pointing as Kai shot jet after jet of fire from his mouth. “H-he’s clearing a p-path.”
“You and the shifters take the ones that came from the hills. I’m going to try and use my light to get Cthulhu out of the air. If I can stop him from making more little ones, that will help.”
I didn’t know why I was shouting orders; everyone already had their marching orders after weeks of training for a scenario just like this.
Even now, the Novasgardians and fae were breaking off and heading toward the different groups of demons.
The Viking-kin appeared most interested in the beasts from the water, while the fae were more comfortable with the fiery monsters.
Meanwhile, the rest of the supernaturals seemed to prefer the creatures from the jungle.
Rosie stayed by my side, bow in hand, Pesty-arrow tucked away until the moment presented itself. She could destroy a demon with her bare hands and fangs if she needed to, but I hoped they never got close enough to test that theory.
From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of three successive bursts of light so bright they hurt. The angels stood in a line, three scorched oily stains on the ground in front of them. Ah, the old smite first, ask questions later move. It was a good one. I wished I could do that.
Remi grabbed me by my nape and pressed a hard kiss to my lips. “Love you. Don’t die.” Then he did the same to Rosie before shifting into his wolf form.
Ben also reached for her, but the moment felt too personal to witness, so I looked away, catching sight of four men straight out of my nightmares. These ones just happened to be on our side.
The four horsemen were riding—quite literally—into battle. The one I assumed was Grim leaned down and grasped Merri, lifting her up and onto the back of his horse. He must think she’d be safest there.
I caught myself instinctively looking for the rest of our friends, but it was impossible to know where they were and what everyone was doing. I simply had to hope our training wasn’t in vain.
“Asher . . .” Rosie’s voice trembled as she gripped my arm. “It’s looking at us.”
She was right. Cthulhu was slowly closing in on us, leaving a void in its wake. A black emptiness. Like that monster in The Neverending Story—The Nothing. Fuck me. If that thing got to us, we’d be nothing.
Raising my palms, I manifested every ounce of my power and blasted the tentacled blob in the face. Then I did it again.
And again.
I didn’t stop shooting purple beams of angelic grace until a sound unlike anything remotely human tore through the air. Cthulhu staggered—it was the only word I had for the jerky, halting motion the creature made—and then plummeted into the expanding hellmouth.
Holy shit, I’d done it. I killed the tentacled—
Nope.
Spoke too soon.
My brain buzzed as a voice I had hoped never to hear again infiltrated my mind.
“You thought you killed him? Oh, Asher. How absolutely pathetic.”
Of fucking course it couldn’t be that easy.
Her wicked laugh echoed in my head as four very familiar mothercunters rose from the vapors where the monster had fallen.
Mommy dearest and my three bitchy aunts had arrived.
Fuck.