Chapter 44
Chapter
Forty-Four
MERRI
They looked like they were sleeping. All four of them lay where they’d fallen. Grim still covered in Famine’s blood, Chaos beside him. Malice and Sin were behind me, curled on their sides.
“You can’t be dead. You told me you couldn’t die.” My words were a harsh whisper, my tears making it almost impossible to speak. “Lilith told me our souls were tied. That you’d live as long as I did.”
My grief was all-consuming, but so was my anger.
“You should have warned me!” I shouted—or tried to. “You know I never would have agreed to this if I had to lose you.”
My chest ached, my heart breaking over and over at the loss of my mates. I wouldn’t survive this. Not if this was how painful their deaths were.
“There, there, now. Dry your tears, crabapple. We can’t have your reunion be met with a puffy face and runny nose, now can we?
” Lucifer’s voice was a balm, even if his words made no sense.
He wrapped his arms around me from behind, holding me together in case I broke apart all over again.
“On your feet, my darling. You’ve had a difficult day, but if you’ll just look at me, you’ll see all is well. ”
He couldn’t be serious. I knew he was self-absorbed on his best day, but this was ludicrous. I’d just lost four of my five mates in one fell swoop. Surely he knew I needed time to grieve them?
He was pulling me up before I could verbalize my protest. I pounded my fists into his chest, the only way I could express myself without bursting into tears again.
“It’s all right, darling. Let it out.”
“They’re gone. How can you say it’s all right? It’ll never be all right again, Luc. Never.”
“Sweetheart, that’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“I loved”—I gulped around the pain the word sent through me—“love them with every fiber of my being. I can’t just—”
“Aw, past tense already, kitten?”
My shoulders stiffened at Sin’s voice. Spinning in Luc’s arms, I followed the sound and saw my men, all four of them standing there, whole and healthy.
“You assholes!” I shouted, unsure which one of them I wanted to go to first.
Malice’s eyes widened, and he glanced at Chaos. “I have to admit I was expecting a very different welcome.”
“That was such a dirty trick!”
“It wasn’t a trick—” Chaos tried, but I kept going.
“And you didn’t even give me a heads-up. I thought you”—I had to suck in a breath—“thought you died.”
“We did,” Grim said.
Malice shot him a glare. “Perhaps you could’ve softened that blow a bit.”
“You really died?” I asked.
“Yes, wildflower. We were unmade along with the horsewomen.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that would happen?” I asked, lower lip quivering as fresh tears blurred my vision.
“We didn’t know,” Sin said, much softer than the others as he took my hands in his. “You have to know we’d never willingly leave you, kitten.”
I took a hiccuping breath and buried my face in his chest, breathing in his scent. After a moment, I looked up and frowned as something dawned on me. “But if you died, how are you back?”
Lucifer cleared his throat. “That would be me. You’re welcome.”
I spun back in his direction. “You brought them back? For me?”
“Well, my brothers and I set aside centuries of generational trauma—oof!”
I flung myself into his arms and peppered his face with grateful kisses. “Thank you!”
“Of course, crabapple. Anything for you.”
It wasn’t lost on me now that Lucifer meant what he said. He’d given up his quest to end the world, set aside his throne, joined forces with his brothers, not to mention brought back the four men he’d always seen as his competition, all to give me what I needed.
“You really do love me.”
His expression was a mix of quizzical adoration. “Of course I do.”
“I love you too.”
“Does anyone else feel like she got over the us dying part a little too quickly? Where are our I love yous and happy smoochies?” Sin asked.
I could hear the pout in his voice and wasn’t fully convinced it was all an act so I pulled out of Luc’s embrace and went to my sweet Sin. Rising on my toes, I kissed him, rapidly deepening the kiss to ensure I conveyed just how happy I was he had returned to me. “I love you, Emmett Sinclair.”
He patted me on the butt and smirked. “Better.”
Malice pulled me out of Sin’s arms, claiming my lips before I could say a word. Tapping into the mental connection that was unique to us, he whispered his words of love for me alone.
“Not even death could keep me from you, hellcat. I staved off an apocalypse to be yours, I intend to enjoy every second that I’m owed.”
“I hope you know there isn’t a world for me without you in it, Mal. I will spend every moment we have loving you.”
He smiled and kissed me again, then released me so I could go to Chaos, who was patiently waiting his turn.
“You looked pretty torn up about losing us, Red. Something you need to tell me?”
“I love you, Chaos. So, so much.”
He tugged my hair, tipping my head back. “Good, because it’s the same for me.”
Then he claimed my mouth like the warrior he’d always been.
Last, but not least, Grim waited like a sentinel, his focus never leaving me as I approached. His hands were in his pockets, his silver eyes tinged with something a lot like panic.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He shook his head, clearly uncomfortable giving voice to his fear.
“Grim, tell me,” I insisted, grabbing the front of his shirt and giving it a little tug.
He slowly and very deliberately pulled his hands free from his pockets, lifting them until they were less than an inch away from my face on either side. “There was a moment just before I died when I realized I was never going to get to touch you again.”
My heart broke all over again, but the instant his fingers made contact with my skin, the grief we’d both experienced in that moment healed. We were still here. Still together.
“Kiss me,” I begged.
“Always,” he whispered, a second before his lips crashed down on mine.
Breaking the kiss, he looked into my eyes, the panic now gone and replaced with assurance. “I love you, wildflower. I will love you until the world stops spinning, and then some.”
“Good.”
He laughed. “Good? That’s all you have to say?”
“I can’t exactly beat such a perfectly swoony declaration, so I figured I wouldn’t bother.”
“Imp,” he said, reaching down and pinching my ass. The flare of lust that caused was impossible to ignore. His expression went from playful to smoldering. “What do you say we all get out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”