Chapter 22
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
At first, I thought this headache felt like a bunch of elves tapping nails into my eyebrow. But no, it actually feels like a toddler is hammering an ice pick through my eye. The pack on my back feels like it’s full of rocks.
I saw a shadow chase after Holland, and as soon as I could, I got up, chasing after them.
The world was spinning, and I got a bit turned around in the trees, but that didn’t stop me from looking.
I’ve spent the rest of the day searching for Holland, but it’s like she vanished straight into thin air.
I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve wished I knew how to track.
My throat is tight. I wonder for the hundredth time what’s happening to her.
Did the game master catch her? If he did…
.did he… I can’t finish the thought. Only, I can.
Visions of Holland getting raped and killed dance in my head.
In the brief moments where those visions fade, I wonder who Holland is.
Does she have a family? A boyfriend? Kids?
I make up scenarios about her past that make the rape and torture even worse.
Her calling out for her husband. Her wishing she could kiss her daughter one last time as she bleeds out on the forest floor.
I vomit repeatedly until there’s only bile coming up. Stumbling over roots and rocks kicks me back into the present only sometimes.
The sun is down, and it’s terrifying out here. The wind is louder than I ever remember it being, and with every sound from the trees, I think some murderer is going to jump out at me.
But I’m a horrible person. I deserve to be out here. It doesn’t matter that I thought this was some stupid, harmless cult. What matters is that I hurt someone carelessly. More than just hurt. Signed her death warrant while I was drunk off my ass.
There’s no way I can ever show my face to Poppy again. She wouldn’t want me. And why would she? No one would want me. I wouldn’t want me either.
That crushing realization slows my footsteps. It feels like a solid weight is sitting on my chest.
Jeremy could tell. He knew you were a bad person, and he let you down easy.
I trip on another root, tears burning in my eyes as my head thrums. I’m not even sure where I’m going.
Maybe I should just…stay out here forever.
I entertain that thought for longer than I should. Then I trip over a root and fall, hands crashing into the ground. Immediately, I taste ash.
I push myself back up, coughing, and rubbing my palms on my thighs. Glancing up, I see the burned remains of trees illuminated by moonlight, some only partially eaten away and others fully skeletonized.
The fire. With a sinking feeling, I realize I’ve made it much closer to the villa than I intended. And still haven’t found Holland.
A heavy feeling of helplessness falls over me. How am I supposed to find her? I’m so out of my league in all of this, it isn’t even funny.
Bowing my head, I stare at my jeans. My dirty jeans, covered in sweat and now streaks of ash.
That’s when the back of my neck starts to prickle.
Whirling, I glance around. It’s brighter here without as much overhead shade to block out the moon. Scanning the shadows, I search for anything that could be a threat.
Nothing moves. I barely breathe.
“Daaamn. That’s quite the shiner.”
Whirling, I search for the smooth baritone that came from my right. A tree trunk moves. Only, it’s not a tree. The man rolls his big shoulders as he steps closer. “Still just as hot, mousey.”
I suck in a breath and stumble back a step. My first instinct is to put on my mask; I’m not supposed to be out here.
It’s Kyan. The man who pinned me against the wall and kissed me as if I held his last breath. The man who dropped to his knees and…
My face burns.
The moonlight falls over Kyan’s loose, dark hair, shadowing his eyes in dark pits.
A mixture of emotions fills me: fear, anger, outrage, but also an odd one: lust. And that one scares me more than anything else. Kyan drugged me, and I’m back wanting more?
“Who did that to you?” Kyan prowls around me, trying to get behind me. I keep my front to him.
“You…” I sputter, trying to come up with the right words. Kissed me? Assaulted me? Drugged me?
Kyan laughs. “It wasn’t me, mousey. I’d put my dick in that pretty little mouth. Whoever did that to you tried to put it through your eye.” He stops walking for a second. “Do you think fucking an eye would feel good?”
I tremble. All this talk of fucking is making me hot, and I just want to run.
Kyan’s white teeth flash in the moonlight. “Awful late for a mousey to be out here alone.”
Irritation prickles up in my chest. I’m not a goddamn mouse. But I don’t say anything. Just watch every move Kyan makes. I feel like I should run, but if I run, I know without any doubt he’ll chase. And I think he’ll catch me, too.
Kyan is unnaturally still, then his right hand twitches ever so briefly. I’m stuck watching that, and I don’t see him launch off his back foot.
Yelping, I jump back, then turn to run. Digging my toes into the dirt, I’m filled with a drop of adrenaline.
So I barely feel it when my foot catches on a stump. Suddenly, I’m sailing through the air, my pack falling off one arm, then hitting the dirt with a thump. Then a huge body crushes mine. All the air is punched from my lungs as my face digs into the ash.
“Caught you.”
For a second, I’m opening my mouth, but no air is coming in. Then I fight, launching my body to the right. Kyan is heavy and just slides over with me, hooking his arm over my left one.
“Don’t fight me, Oakley. You know I’ll give you a good time.”
“Fuck off.” I fight him with everything I have, trying to yank my arm back. He only shifts on my upper back, twisting my arm so he has it in a shoulder lock, shooting pain straight up my back.
“What’s the matter? Mad your pretty little face got messed up?” Kyan’s voice is hot in my ear, and it’s croony again, melting with suggestive rumbles. Instinctively, my body melts into that tone. It wraps me up in a sense of firm adoration.
What the hell? What is actually wrong with me? I keep fighting, but all that earns me is pain in my shoulder.
“Shhh, I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Then get off me!” Ash gets in my mouth, and I cough.
“Well, that’s no fun.” There’s a pout in his voice. He doesn’t move. I’m left heaving for breath against his weight, centered right over my back.
“It’s past ten,” Kyan says.
“What?” I spit the bitter taste out of my mouth. Slowly, it comes back to me. I overheard hunters in the villa say that ten is the latest time hunters are allowed out. A rule I was planning on ignoring. “What do you care?”
“What were you planning on doing?”
I hear him pulling in a deep breath. Then another. He’s…sniffing. Something tickles my ear.
“Get the fuck off!” I shake, realizing Kyan’s sniffing my neck, but he only rumbles a deep, excited laugh.
“There are punishments for breaking the rules.” His tone is promising and smooth, almost…comforting.
Which should be impossible, given he’s pinning me to the ground in the middle of the night. Goosebumps prick along my arms, and a shiver runs down my back.
No. I’m here to fix my wrongs. I can’t do that from here. It’s a mistake that Holland is here, but I can still try everything to make it better.
“Is the other person at least dead?” Kyan sounds amused.
The other person? Holland? For a second, I’m confused, then I realize he’s talking about my black eye.
“You want me to make them that way for you?”
“No.” The word comes out almost like a growl, shocking me.
Kyan stills.
I freeze. Fuck. I don’t want him to be thinking about Holland. She won’t be safe. Attention isn’t safe here.
“I’ll pay whatever fine for being late. I didn’t realize the time.” I struggle under him. “Now let me up.”
Kyan doesn’t. For a heart-racing minute, I think he’s going to call me on my bullshit. To call out the real reason I’m out here.
By some miracle, he laughs. “Okay, kinky.” Then, he gets off me. “Come on. Let’s get inside before anyone sees.”