22. Perspective
CHAPTER 22
PERSPECTIVE
A my instantly regretted her plan as the Uber let her off in front of Mystic Natasha’s alley. What am I even looking for? She had asked everyone in her life she trusted— – except Drew— and they had all agreed with each other. Amy was the only one who was hell-bent on making trouble.
Katie might have had a point about her self-sabotaging behavior. Since college, through years of therapy and concerted effort, she had worked to repair those habits and thought patterns, resulting in an adult life that she was proud of, where she allowed her ambition to carry her through to the finish line and be proud of her accomplishments.
She wasn’t sure why she would want to self-sabotage this relationship. Drew was so different from the men of her past. He was the real deal by all accounts. Why can’t I let myself be happy?
Amy took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. Okay, I can do this. The psychic would be the last person she would ask. If Natasha agreed with everyone else, Amy would drop it. She pushed the door open and stepped inside the shop.
She saw that the curtains to the reading room were pulled closed. She had already made her way over here, so she was going to see this thing through, no matter how long it took to get her reading. Amy browsed the shelves of sparkling crystals, tarot cards, and metaphysical guidebooks. If only she could read tarot and get a divinely inspired answer. She had to smile at that idea. Besides a cut-out set of mini tarot cards she had gotten in a Teen magazine in middle school, Amy had never dabbled in the mystical arts.
She had been so absorbed in a book about love potions that she hadn’t noticed the psychic’s client leaving and Natasha’s greeting.
“Amy? Dear, can I help you?”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Fascinating stuff,” she said, putting the book back on the shelf.
“Are you in need of love potions? I was pleased to see you with your soulmate when you came in before.”
“My soulmate?”
“Have you not discovered that yet?”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way. I’m in love with him, though.”
“Then why are you in such a state? Your aura is darker and cloudier than usual, which shows me that you’re troubled.”
“Natasha, I’m definitely troubled,” Amy said on the verge of tears. “You had said that I was going to make a mistake the last time I was in here and I think this is it.” Natasha nodded sympathetically. “Do you have time for a reading? I don’t have an appointment.”
“That’s fine. I’m available for walk-ins today. Come on back and we’ll take a look.”
Amy’s tears flowed as she caught the psychic up on everything that had happened with Drew since her birthday reading. She shook while telling Natasha about needing to ask him about his past. She didn’t want to do it, but she felt compelled to.
“Shh, shh,” Mystic Natasha whispered, rubbing her hand. “I need you to try to calm down so I can get a read on your energy and li nk into your relationship.” She reached for a bottle of essential oil and put a few drops in a diffuser. The back room began to fill with the calming scent of lavender. “Just breathe.”
Amy made an effort to slow and deepen her breathing. She found that action and the lavender scent were soothing enough to lower her heart rate and begin to calm her. “I think I’m okay now.”
Natasha nodded. “Let’s start. I’d like you to take my hands and close your eyes. All you have to do right now is focus on your relationship with Drew. In your mind, go through how you felt, starting from your first meeting. Don’t focus on the actual events, just the feelings.”
Amy thought back to her surprise at hearing Drew’s voice for the first time and turning around to see him in Target. She had felt attracted to him and excited. Even in those first moments, his presence had been invigorating and soothing.
“Good,” the psychic said. “Keep going.”
Amy then remembered her genuine relief at running into him again at the bar. There was that mix of excitement and comfort again as she remembered their night together with the bachelorette party. She allowed her mind to move to that night outside the hotel with him. She'd been so attracted to and intrigued by him that she invited him to her room.
The time between the night of the bachelorette party and the joy of seeing Drew again in the DC Costco was filled with happy feelings. She had allowed herself to imagine a fantasy life with him, and when she indulged in that, she had felt overwhelmed with hope. Seeing him in DC and realizing that the fantasy had a real possibility brought back her feelings of comfort and giddiness. Why can’t I just go back to those feelings?
“Breathe, Amy. Try to stay relaxed.”
Amy remembered the feeling of butterflies in her stomach during their first date and the ease of being with him and talking for hours. Those emotions had only grown in size as they spent time t ogether that summer. Being with Drew was like coming home. Drew was her soulmate; Natasha was right.
Amy stiffened as she remembered that her sense of safety and love had been disturbed. Belinda had planted the seed in her mind that Drew was almost too perfect; she had unknowingly started Amy down a path that had led her to this moment. I can never tell her that’s what started all of this. She’ll never forgive herself.
“I know this is getting hard, but stay with me,” Mystic Natasha urged her softly, giving her hands a squeeze.
Looking back on that turning point was painful. A simple observation and what was actually a compliment about Drew had started this unease and worry. Her anxiety blossomed the more she thought about it. This was her terrible mistake, and it had turned into a runaway train.
Her eyes flew open. “I can’t keep going.”
“You’ve done great. I feel the emotional journey you’ve been on, and I have enough information. Would you please give me a few minutes to tune into Spirit and ask for guidance? Just try to relax.”
Amy did her best to relax, but she had relived the tidal wave of sensations associated with their relationship. Taken all together like that, it was overwhelming. She was going to break. Just as her anxiety had built up to a critical point and she was ready to drop money at the register and run, Natasha opened her eyes.
“The only resolution is to talk to Drew.”
“What’s going to happen?”
“What am I, psychic?” Natasha responded.
Amy blanched.
“Sweetheart, it's metaphysical humor. What matters is your state of mind and the bind that your soul is in now. The only way to unwind that bind is to talk to him. Everything will turn out okay.”
“You mean it will go well if I ask him?” Amy was filled with relief .
“I didn’t say that. I said it will turn out okay.”
“I’m being dense. Explain how.”
“It’s not my place to give you the exact roadmap. Go to him and be open and honest. You’ve started down this path of questioning, and you must finish it.”