10. Diego
CHAPTER 10
DIEGO
The first thing I noticed when I started to wake up was that it felt like someone had hammered a thousand nails into my head at the same time and was still pounding away. The room was dark, but it still hurt to open my eyes, so I just lay there with them squeezed shut and waited . . . hoping that the splitting headache would magically go away.
That was why I hated taking the pills. I always woke up feeling like I’d drunk a fifth of vodka and then an entire bottle of tequila on top of it. And I didn’t fucking drink, so it sucked.
The second thing I noticed, the one that had my eyes flying open despite the pain and sitting up in a panic, was that I wasn’t in my own bed. My heart was beating like a jackhammer and I could feel my throat closing up millimeter by millimeter as the fear overtook me.
“Hey, D, you’re okay. You’re safe. It’s Brooks. We’re the only ones in the room. No one else. The door is locked. We’re at Luca’s, remember?”
I focused on Brooks’s voice as he kept talking, switching from a reminder of what had led to these circumstances to singing an over the top rendition of “You are my Sunshine.”
It was just ridiculous enough to have me relaxing and able to focus on the world around me.
Brooks knew my signs enough and stopped after his third round of the song. “Here.” I forced my eyes open all the way to see he was holding out three round pills to me.
“Just ibuprofen. I know your head is killing you.”
I winced as I took them and threw all three in my mouth. A water bottle came next, and I was so fucking grateful as the cool liquid ran down my burning throat. “Thanks.”
I finally turned and got a good look at Brooks and stiffened immediately.
“What’s wrong?”
He frowned at me. “What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong.”
But it was bullshit. Brooks’s eyes were bloodshot and dried tears still stained his red and blotchy face. He was kneeling on the bed next to me, wearing nothing but gym shorts and socks, but he wasn’t his usual bouncy self. I hadn’t noticed it when he’d been trying to calm me, but it was completely obvious now.
“Don’t lie to me. You were crying.”
“Ugh.” Brooks collapsed dramatically to the bed, tossing his hands over his head. “Why am I such an ugly crier? I can never get away with it.”
I snorted and lay down facing him. I had to piss, and I couldn’t even imagine what my breath smelled like, but Brooks came first, just like I did for him.
Mom and Dad might have saved my life, but I didn’t think I’d still be living it without Brooks. He’d been a feral little 7-year-old, who still hadn’t figured out the right ADHD meds, and he’d terrified the living fuck out of me. Until he hadn’t. Until I’d realized that behind those wild blue eyes and chaotic energy was the sweetest, most caring, most loyal kid I’d ever met, which had carried through into his adulthood.
I knew I still wasn’t normal, but I had no idea where I’d be without Brooks. His easy acceptance of me and all the suitcases of trauma I came with had gone a long way to me feeling safe and secure enough to stay and let Mom and Dad love me. It was why I’d done this job with Brooks, rather than try to get a job hacking for some alphabet agency. I wouldn’t leave him.
“Wanna talk about it?” I asked, bringing the conversation back to the current drama.
He stuck his tongue out at me like he was 12, but sighed deeply, so I knew he’d continue.
“I saw Luca in the kitchen earlier and we had a . . . moment.”
I frowned. “Moment like you made eyes at each other? Moment like you fucked on the kitchen counter? Or did y’all have a knockout, drag-out fight?”
Brooks’s whole face wrinkled before he started to crack up. “Made eyes at each other? Jeez, D, what are you, 60? You’re spending way too much time watching those shows with Mom.”
I threw a pillow at him. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”
Brooks flopped again. “Okay . . . then somewhere between option 1 and 2 and then it ended with me word vomiting all my feelings before running out to hide in here with you.”
I sat up with a groan. My head was still pounding, but it was lessening a little. “I need more than that.”
Brooks then gave me a very detailed account about everything that had happened, including the kiss, his rant, and then the ultimatum he’d given Luca before leaving.
It was . . . a lot, and I had honestly no idea what to say or where to go with it. I had no experience when it came to anything romantic or sexual, and I planned to keep it that way. It was kind of hard to have a relationship when I wouldn’t leave the house and hated to be touched.
But anyway, this wasn’t about me, so I quickly worked through everything Brooks had shared to focus on the thing I could actually solve.
“You know Mom and Dad don’t expect us to pay for the medical bills, right?” Brooks had seemed to take our father’s stroke and subsequent medical issues harder than any of us. Even Dad himself, who’d gone from a fun-loving, active guy to wheelchair-bound with limited use of his left side of his body and some serious short-term memory loss. He still was funny as hell though.
But anyway, there was a direct correlation between Dad getting sick and Brooks taking on crazier and riskier jobs with higher payouts. Especially since they’ve been in Arizona. Insurance long since ran out for PT, so everything was out of pocket. There would probably come a time when Dad would just have to stop therapy because they couldn’t afford it anymore. Two weeks after Mom admitted her worries about this, Marshall had contacted us about this job.
Brooks shrugged and fiddled with his sock. “Yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna pay for it though.” I wanted to touch him so badly, but I couldn’t get my body to move. Brooks was very tactile. He needed physical affection, and usually I could force myself to give it to him when I saw it was bad, but everything was too close to the surface and my fucking body wouldn’t cooperate. Hating myself was a feeling I was familiar with, but it was even stronger now.
“I know. I did too. We could still get the money, you know.”
Brooks shot me a meme worthy side-eye. “Oh yeah, and how will that work? ‘Hi, Mrs. Fieldburg, I know your husband was just murdered, that fucking sucks, be he owes use 200 grand for an illegal job. Do you think you can get us to that? We accept Venmo or Cash App.”
I glared. “Okay, that level of sarcasm was not necessary. Especially because it’s offensive as fuck that you thought I’d ask. I would just take it.” It wouldn’t be the first time.
“D, the feds are all over this fucking thing. I know you’re fucking good, but I’m not sure even you can get around that without them noticing.”
I sighed, frustrated but trying not to let it get to me. “I wouldn’t do it right away or all in one lump sum. It’s a process that I am not explaining to you right now, but either way, if that’s one of the things you’re stressed about, try not to be, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
I slid my hand across the bed, palm up. Brooks grinned, his whole face lighting up, and he brought his hand to mine, just touching my fingertips. My whole arm tingled from the contact and I had to fight the urge to pull away, but Brooks’s expression forced me in place. He didn’t ask for much. I could let him touch my hand, for fuck’s sake.
“You got any easy solutions for the rest of it?” Brooks asked with a hopeful expression, and I laughed drily. “No, sorry.” I had . . . opinions about Luca, and not all of them were complimentary. But I tried very hard not to be too judgmental. I was biased, I knew that, and I only had one side of the story. It was best to keep my thoughts to myself. As easy as it was to forget sometimes, Brooks was a grown-ass man and capable of making his own decisions.
Brooks brushed my fingers along his. “It’s okay, D. Just being here is enough.”
It wasn’t, not really, and I was hit with a big rush of failure . I wished I could just be more. My best friend, my brother, my everything needed more from me and I couldn’t give it to him.
So instead, we sat in silence until my body’s needs became too much to ignore and I had to get up. Luckily, the room we were given had an en suite bathroom so I didn’t have to venture out in the hallway. I would have to eventually, but I planned to stall for as long as possible. The room might have been way nicer, and honestly way fucking bigger, than our house, but with the door closed and locked and just Brooks in here, it was easy to forget I wasn’t in my own space. Not only that, but other people, ones I didn’t know super well, lived here. It was . . . unnerving.
The bathroom was as nice as the bedroom, and I eyed the huge walk-in shower with two showerheads. Fuck knew I could use a shower. I probably stunk. But . . . we should probably figure out what was going on. The drugs had knocked me out, so I hadn’t done any work into who those assholes were and who they worked for. I had no idea what had happened while I’d been out, besides Brooks’s interlude, so it was probably best to hold off on the shower for now. There was no way I’d be able to take a quick one, not in there. So, I just washed my face and brushed my teeth and ran a brush through my hair before putting it back into a ponytail. My clothes were all sweaty and gross, so I kicked them off and walked back out into the bedroom in just my underwear. I was pretty sure Brooks would’ve brought my bag in here so I could get changed.
Brooks was frowning at his phone that was ringing.
I stilled. “What’s wrong?”
He jumped, startled. “It’s Mom.”
I relaxed. The way he’d been staring at it, I’d thought . . . Well, I didn’t know what I’d thought, but not our parents.
“So answer it.”
Brooks scowled at me. “Yeah? You wanna explain all this?” He waved his hand around. “To her?”
Okay, he had a point. But also, we both knew Mom wouldn’t give up that easily. The phone stopped ringing.
“You know she’s going to call back. And if you keep ignoring it, she’ll start digging around. They may be retired, but Mom still listens to all the gossip in the community.”
Brooks blew air out of his mouth. “I’m pretty sure that’s her only entertainment these days.” He wasn’t wrong.
A phone started ringing, this time from the nightstand where I guessed Brooks had plugged mine in. We stared at each other before cracking up.
“Ugggh. Answer it, I guess.”
I strolled over, and sure enough Mom’s number was on the screen.
“Be glad it’s not FaceTime,” I told him honestly before hitting accept.
“Hi Mom.”
“Hi, Diego, honey. How are you?”
“I’m…okay.” I couldn’t bring myself to lie to her completely, even if we agreed not to give them all the nitty gritty details, “I’ve had a rough night, but I’m doing better now.”
She was silent as she processed and tried to think of the best way to respond. Mom was always careful not to be my therapist or push me in a direction I may not be ready to go.
Finally she asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
I sighed, “Not really. I’m sorry.”
“Diego, you don’t ever have to apologize about that. But know I’m always here if you need me.”
I smiled. “I know, Ma. I never doubted that. Brooks was here, we worked through it. I’m doing okay now, I swear. Just tired.”
“Good. I’m so glad you two have each other.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Speaking of Brooks,” here we go. Brooks groaned, covering his face as he fell back dramatically on the bed, “He didn’t answer my call. Is he there?”
I looked pointedly over at him. “Hi, Ma. Sorry I didn’t hear the phone ring.”
“Mhmmm.” Mom didn’t believe him for an instant. “I only called because I knew you worked the other night, and you know how I worry. How did it go? Is that why Diego had a rough night?”
She was way too perceptive, and knew our schedule way too well. “How’d you even know I worked? Did I share my Google calendar with you?” I clutched my chest, as if I let him use something so insecure as a Google calendar. I was insulted.
I could hear my mom’s eye roll from here. “Like I need to do that? I also noticed how you didn’t answer my question. What’s going on?”
Brooks met my eyes and I just shrugged. I wasn’t any better at getting one over on Mom than he was. “Nothing. The job had a few hiccups, but we’re okay. We’re safe.”
Mom was silent again, which was not fucking good. Brooks and I just stared at each other barely breathing. “When the two of you are ready to tell me everything, you know where to find me.”
Jesus fuck, she had to be psychic. Brooks laughed. “Thanks, Ma. We will.”
“Just be safe. I know your father and I got you into this line of work, but it doesn’t mean I’m not scared shitless for you two.”
“We’re okay, Mom,” I told her, “I promise.”
“Okay, I believe you. I’ll let the two of you go. I love you, and Dad sends his love.”
“We love you too. Tell Dad we said hi and we love him,” I replied for both of us.
We had barely gotten off the phone when there was a knock on the door.
“The fuck?” I muttered to Brooks. I still wasn’t dressed. Which, apparently, wasn’t something that even fell on his radar when he hopped off the bed and opened the door.
Skye was standing there, looking relaxed and way too refreshed. He was wearing a black muscle tank that was probably two sizes too tight with a feral looking opossum on the front. In bright yellow letters, it read First of All, I’m a Delight . His black workout shorts left just as little to the imagination.
I quickly looked away, but Brooks, being Brooks, was staring right at his junk. Skye grinned. “Like what you see, sunshine?”
Brooks’s face heated, but instead of making excuses, he looked up and made eye contact with Skye, licking his lips. “Uh, yeah, you think?” Skye barked out a laugh, clearly amused.
“Okay, we will definitely be revisiting that subject again very soon.” Okay . . . “But for now, we have work to do. Boss man called a staff meeting. You two, get dressed and meet us in the conference room. You remember where it is?” He was asking Brooks.
“I’ll find it.”
He rapped the doorframe twice before very deliberately taking in Brooks’s naked chest. “By the way, shirts are optional. We’re laid back that way.” He gave me a quick up nod and smile and then sauntered out.
Brooks turned around, looking a little dazed with a very obvious bulge in his shorts. “The fuck was that?” I asked.
Brooks just shrugged. “I have no idea. But I don’t think I mind it.”