11. Emerson
The rush that I got from the audience’s cheers as I finished my set left my cheeks warm and my heart pounding. I bowed once more as I grabbed the neck of my guitar and headed offstage.
Tilly was there to greet me. She pulled me into a hug. My ears were ringing, so I couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but from the tone in her voice and the way her eyes lit up, she was happy for me.
“I think that was the best set ever,” she said.
Her words finally made their way through the cloud that had settled in my brain. “Really?” I asked as I made my way into the dressing room and over to my guitar case, which I’d propped up in the corner.
“Amazing, girl.” She paused, and I glanced up at her. “I can feel the contract coming soon.”
I smiled at her, but when I turned my attention back to my guitar, that smile faded. I knew that she was trying to hype me up, but I’d been here before. I thought my chance was coming, but every performance fell flat. No scouts. No contracts. No forward movement.
I loved singing. I loved pouring my heart into my music. But I hated that even though I wanted it to turn into something, it never did. I worried that the crushing defeat would eventually stomp out my love for what I was doing.
I forced those thoughts from my mind as I snapped the clasps of the case into place and wrapped my fingers around the handle before I stood. “Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ll just take it night by night.” I gave her a smile. “It’s a game of odds. Eventually, it’ll happen.”
Tilly returned my smile, but there was a glint in her eyes that I’d never seen before. I narrowed my eyes at her. She was up to something.
“What?” I asked slowly.
She wiggled her eyebrows before hooking her arm through mine. “Let’s put your guitar in my car and then come back and get a drink.” She started guiding me through the room to the door.
I paused as I looked down at her. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”
She shrugged as we headed toward the hallway that led to the back door. “So, what if I am?”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you are plotting, the answer is no.”
She laughed as she held the door so I could walk through. “You haven’t heard my idea.”
I shook my head as we walked over to her car. I waited at the trunk while she opened the driver’s door and pulled the trunk release. “I don’t need to hear it. I already know it’s crazy.”
I aimlessly looked around at the cars around us. I’d seen Stone in the crowd, and I half expected to see his motorcycle parked out here. But from my quick survey, it didn’t look like he was here. Had I imagined it?
No. I’d seen him. His gaze was dark and piercing as he stared back at me. Even the memory of his intense gaze made my heart pound. I swallowed, hoping that was all it took to regulate my body temperature as I turned back to Tilly.
She’d come back and pulled the trunk open. I set my guitar inside, and she shut the trunk and turned to face me. “I come up with great ideas,” she said, completely oblivious to the mini mental breakdown I just went through when I let my thoughts turn to Stone and the way he made me feel.
Thank goodness my best friend couldn’t read minds.
“I beg to differ,” I said as I followed her back into the bar.
We made our way to the bar, where Tilly ordered me something fruity and full of alcohol. I studied her, contemplating if I should change the order. I didn’t want to get so drunk that I had to show up at The Jumping Bean tomorrow completely hungover. But I also couldn’t keep my thoughts away from Stone. Maybe some booze would help with that.
When the bartender slid the drink into my hand, I took it. The alcohol hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as I took the first sip. Eventually, my body relaxed, and all I could taste was the fruit.
“This is amazing,” I yelled at Tilly, who had already ordered a second round of drinks.
“Right?” she replied. She was dancing to the music.
I hopped off my barstool and joined her. We were laughing as we bumped into each other. The second drink was down, and my inhibitions were completely gone. I was dancing with Tilly and everyone around me.
A guy who I’d seen at my previous shows appeared next to me. His arm slipped around my waist as he pulled me closer. We danced together in a way I didn’t normally like, but I didn’t care. I was drunk, and I wanted to forget Stone and his dark blue eyes as they stared at me during my set and yesterday afternoon when I stood topless in my kitchen.
He’d seen my breasts. And I hated that I wanted to know what he thought. He was so unreadable that I was never going to find out.
“I wanted to tell you how talented I think you are,” the mysterious guy said as he leaned forward. His breath was hot and sticky on my skin.
“Thanks,” I said. I moved to the side, but my foot hooked on someone else’s, and suddenly I was falling forward. Mystery guy’s arm tightened around me as he kept me upright. I giggled and looked sheepishly up at him.
“Sorry,” I said. My words were slurred, and my tongue felt like molasses in my mouth.
He didn’t look put off as he smiled down at me. “Name’s Brett.”
I nodded. “Nice to meet you, Brett. I’m Emerson.” I stuck my hand out, and he laughed as he took it.
“I know that.” Then he looked sheepish. “I promise I’m not a stalker, but I’ve come to every one of your sets.” He gave me an embarrassed smile.
He was cute. He had dirty blond hair that was tousled in a purposeful way. He had dark brown eyes, and they were inviting as he studied me. He looked like the perfect guy to help me forget Stone and my stupid thoughts.
“I don’t think you’re a stalker,” I whispered as I leaned forward. I wiggled my eyebrows and stared up at him through my eyelashes. I was going to flirt with this guy until Stone was a distant memory.
“Is it creepy if I say that I’m your biggest fan?” he asked.
He looked so bashful and adorable that I reached forward and pinched his cheek. Not something that I would normally do, but I was throwing all my inhibitions out of the window.
“That’s adorable,” I said as I reached up and pinched his other cheek.
He was smiling down at me. I released his cheeks but kept my hands on his face. Suddenly, I felt the warmth of his palms on my waist as he rested them just above my hips. Then, he slid them ever so slightly to my back and pulled me closer.
My gaze drifted to his lips as my body stilled. I wanted to kiss him. But not because I wanted to kiss him. I just wanted to forget Stone. And the best way to do that was to entangle myself with someone else.
Or at least, that was what I thought I should do.
“Emerson,” Brett whispered. The tone of his voice sent shivers down my back.
I leaned forward, wondering if he was going to meet my lips. My head was swimming, and my eyesight was wonky, but I swear he leaned in as well.
“Excuse me,” a deep voice sounded beside us. A deep, familiar voice.
Before I could even look to see who it was, my hands were pulled from Brett’s face, and suddenly I was spun against a tall, muscular chest. I parted my lips to protest, but Brett beat me to it. “Hey, dude.”
I glanced up to see Stone grip Brett’s shoulder. “I’m going to stop you right there,” Stone said, his voice low and menacing. “It’s never going to happen.” Stone’s hand found my waist and pulled me close. “She’s not available.”
I frowned and parted my lips to protest, but Stone didn’t wait for me to respond. Instead, he held me as he moved me away from Brett. I wondered where Tilly had gone. I wiggled, trying to break his hold on me, but he was stronger. He kept me close as he danced us into the corner, away from the crowd.
I pressed on his chest, trying to get away, but it was futile. He wasn’t interested in letting me go.
“Will you just dance with me?” he finally asked. Both of his arms were wrapped around me, and I was closer to him than I’d ever been before.
The alcohol and his cologne had my head swirling. I wanted to fight, but I was too tired. I collapsed against his chest, exhausted and ready to feel normal again. I felt his arms relax as well, but he didn’t release me. Instead, his right hand found my left, and he cradled it as he brought it up next to his chest and swayed side to side.
“What are you doing?” I finally managed out. I glanced up at him to see that he was staring straight ahead.
“Stopping you from making a mistake.”
I frowned. “That’s not your job.”
He flicked his gaze down at me. “I don’t want it to be my job, but you’re making it impossible to ignore you.”
I sighed as I dropped his gaze and glanced around. “I don’t need you to protect me. I’ve been just fine on my own.” I felt his body tense. His response intrigued me, but I didn’t have the courage to ask him what it meant.
“That guy wanted more from you, Emerson,” he said, his voice low and threatening like just the thought of another guy wanting to be with me was causing him pain.
He was being ridiculous. He wasn’t my boyfriend, my brother, or my…anything. He needed to let me live my life.
“You don’t think I know that?” I glanced up at him. “Maybe I want him to want me.”
Stone’s jaw flinched. His gaze was deep and raw, and it made me want to pull back, but I didn’t. Instead, I remained, daring him to break my gaze.
“You want him?” Stone asked. His tone had turned daring.
I swallowed, my mouth feeling dry and sticky. I hated drinking, and I hated that I was drunk during this conversation. I would be able to hold my ground so much better if my thoughts weren’t so jumbled. “Maybe.”
He studied me. “Have you talked to Tilly?”
I frowned. I had not anticipated him changing the subject like that. “Yeah, I’ve talked to Tilly.”
He paused and searched my gaze as if he were looking for an answer to a question. But I didn’t know what that question was. I pulled my eyebrows together as I waited for further explanation, but it never came. He pulled his gaze from mine and focused on something above my head.
A drunk group of women came our way, and I felt his hand tighten on my back as he pulled me closer and turned me slightly. Almost like he wanted to protect me from their flailing arms and boisterous voices.
I felt very confused with what was happening. I could’ve sworn I hadn’t seen his motorcycle, and I hadn’t noticed him sitting with his friends at the end of my set. Had he always been here? Maybe he’d left earlier, but now he was back. Why was he back?
Was it for me?
I shook my head. That was a stupid thought. Of course, he hadn’t come back for me. That would be ridiculous. Maybe he left to pick up a friend…or a girl?
My stomach churned at that thought. I didn’t like it at all, so I tossed it out of my mind. No, he probably left to pick up a friend and just got back. That was the story I was going to tell myself.
The last notes of the song slowly faded away, and the crowd erupted into cheers. I pulled away from Stone and turned to face the stage, clapping and cheering along with everyone else. Stone’s hand lingered on my waist for a moment longer than expected, but by the time I turned to face him, he’d removed it and was waving to his teammates who were still sitting at the reserved table.
Before I could say anything, he left my side to join them. Brett had disappeared, and I was now alone. I glanced through the crowd. Where was Tilly? After a few minutes of dodging dancers and drunk men, I finally found her making out with a guy I’d never seen before.
I cleared my throat, hoping that would get her attention—I was wrong. I tapped her shoulder, and she finally pulled away from the guy and glanced up at me.
“Emerson,” she said, her voice slurred. She pressed on the guy’s shoulders and moved to stand. She took one step toward me, but her legs gave out, and suddenly she stumbled into my arms.
I was almost too late to catch her, but thankfully, I was a bit more sober than her. I stumbled but stayed upright as I held my friend in my arms.
“Tilly,” I said.
“I’m so sorry, Emerson,” she said as she attempted to get her feet under her.
I didn’t like the way I felt. My head was cloudy. My stomach hurt. My interaction with Stone had me confused, and all I wanted to do was go home and crawl under my covers. “Can we go home?” I asked.
She stared up at me with her eyes wide. Then she nodded. “Yeah.”
I turned until we were hip to hip. I wrapped my arm around her waist to help her stay upright. We shuffled through the crowd, using each other as support until we got to the front door. I moved to push the door open, but Stone’s voice stopped me.
“Let me give you a ride home,” he said in a way that told me he wasn’t really open to negotiation.
I wanted to say no. I wanted him to stay away. But I was too tired, and I was ready to be home, so I just nodded. He studied me for a moment before he moved to pick up Tilly. She gasped, but when she saw Stone, she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.
“Wait here for me,” he said. He held my gaze, and my knees turned weak from the desperate look in his eyes. All I could do was nod. He studied me for a moment longer before he pushed through the door and walked around the building. I rested against the wall, closing my eyes as the coolness of the brick seeped through to my skin.
I did not feel good. My body felt hot, and my stomach churned. I hated that I drank this much. I was never going to do it in the future.
“Ready?” Stone’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I opened my eyes to see him studying me. I nodded, and as I moved to take a step, my leg gave way, and I stumbled to catch myself. Stone’s arms were around my waist and under my knees before I knew what was going on.
He pulled me to his chest like I was weightless. “Whoa,” he said, softly. “I’ve got you.”
I wanted to fight him. I wanted to tell him to put me down. That I didn’t need his help. But I was too tired to fight him, and his arms wrapped protectively around me felt too good.
I’d be stronger tomorrow. Tonight, I was going to let him carry me to Tilly’s car. I was going to let him take care of me. I could feel his heart pound against my arm. I leaned my head against his shoulder, the warmth of his body washed over me in a way that felt like home. Like this was where I was meant to be.
When he got to Tilly’s car, he gently put my feet onto the ground and pulled open the passenger door. He helped me sit, and I turned to buckle my seatbelt, but he beat me to it. He pulled on the latch plate and leaned forward to slide it into the buckle.
His cologne filled my senses, and I leaned my head back and murmured, “You smell so good.”
He hesitated as he hovered over me. “I do?”
I nodded. “It’s not fair. You smell like a Greek god.”
He chuckled as he pulled back and shut my door. I kept my eyes closed as he opened the driver’s door and started the engine. I wanted to ask him what he was going to do about his motorcycle, but I was too tired to talk.
Somewhere in the cloud that was my brain, I heard him ask Tilly where she lived. She said something about having her license in her purse. I gave her a weak goodbye when Stone pulled up to her apartment and climbed into the back to help her out. She mumbled something about calling me tomorrow, and I raised my hand to her in acknowledgement.
I was jostled awake when Stone got back into the driver’s seat. I moaned but kept my eyes closed as he pulled out of the parking lot. I wasn’t sure how long it took before he pulled into our garage and turned off the engine.
“We’re here,” he whispered.
I nodded and moved to unbuckle my seatbelt. By the time he opened my door, I’d managed to find the release and push on it. I turned to climb out of the car by myself, but he shook his head.
“I’ve got you,” he said as I felt his arms slide under my knees and around my back.
He lifted me up, and the desire to fight him never came. Instead, I rested against his chest like this was where I belonged.
“You’re not fair,” I mumbled into his neck.
I could feel the rumble of his laugh followed by the sound of the car door closing. “I’m not fair?” he asked.
I shook my head against his shoulder. “You’re always around.” I sighed. “Why are you always around?”
“I’m around?” he asked. The elevator chimed.
“Always,” I whispered.
“Would you be happier if I left?”
“No,” I said, drawing out the word. “No. You left once.” I hiccupped as the memories of him leaving washed through me. I still didn’t understand what happened between him and Cayden. I had a hard time believing that he just stole my brother’s scholarship. It didn’t match the reality that I’d lived. I’d seen their friendship.
He was quiet for a moment. I cracked an eye and glanced up just to make sure he was still there. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but…” He didn’t finish his thought. After the elevator rang and he carried me out, he never brought it back up.
Now on our landing, he set me down on my feet. “Think you can make it inside?”
I opened my eyes and stared at my door. It felt like it was a million miles away. But I didn’t want him to think that I was weak, so I nodded. “I got this,” I mumbled.
Apparently, I didn’t have it. Seconds later, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him. “Let me help,” he said.
I motioned to my purse and told him the keys were in there. He dug around for a moment before emerging triumphant. After the door was unlocked, he helped me inside. I thought he was going to leave me as soon as I crossed the living room, but he stayed by my side as he walked me into my room.
I collapsed on my bed, flopping back while my legs dangled off the edge. “Help me get into my pajamas,” I said as I lifted my arm and let it drop to show him how tired I was. When he didn’t answer, I curled to the side. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my boobs.” I closed my eyes. “You haven’t said anything about that. Were they that hideous?”
It felt like an eternity before I heard the sound of my dresser drawers opening and closing.
“Sit up,” he commanded, his voice suddenly next to me.
I obeyed. After unbuttoning my jumper, I pulled it down around my waist. I moved to unhook my bra, but his voice was raspy when he said, “Don’t.”
I glanced up at him and saw heat in his gaze as he held up my shirt. I studied him. His expression was pained as he helped me slip my arms through the shirt and pulled it over my head.
As soon as my head was through, I returned my gaze to him, but he didn’t look at me again.
He helped me slip out of the jumper the rest of the way. Then he knelt in front of me before sliding my feet into the matching pair of shorts. My skin warmed under his gaze as he pulled the shorts up my legs and stopped just before my thighs.
“Can you get them the rest of the way?” he asked. His voice was deep, and he didn’t look up at me.
“Yeah,” I said as I stood slightly and shimmed the shorts up the rest of the way. Now dressed in my pajamas, I climbed up to my pillows and snuggled under my comforter. The whole world melted away as I lay there.
“I’ll be right back,” Stone said and left before I could say anything.
I wasn’t sure if he returned. I thought I heard someone moving around in my room, but by the time I could get my eyes open, my room was empty.
I settled back into my pillows, closed my eyes, and passed out.