Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Val felt so conflicted as Mark vanished around the corner that she didn’t know what to do with herself. As relieved as she felt her father had come out of yet another procedure okay, that had been an extraordinarily lousy time for an interruption. Yet, she also couldn’t help her lack of certainty once their private bubble had been burst.
Mark had seemed as into that kiss as she was.
But then why had he raced out of there like a shot? Or was she exaggerating his departure? The thing was that she couldn’t trust herself when it came to reading men. The last man she’d had in her life had shaken her faith in humanity that she still hadn’t recovered. She might never recover.
She wasn’t sure why she was risking everything by throwing herself at this sheriff? Especially at such an inopportune time?
What had she been thinking?
She believed that whatever might be happening between her and Mark could be more than a friendship, but what did she know? How did you even know? Yet with each question that filled her mind, her heart had much more to say on the matter.
Even without completing that kiss, she’d felt this sizzle of awareness at their near miss. There was something more there. There had to be. Even if it kept showing up during the least favorable time to pursue it.
And Mark seemed a bit scattered about recent events. What if he wasn’t in a place to date anyone? Much less her, someone who travelled more than two-thirds of the year. It wasn’t like he could go with her. Not even if he wanted to. He was the sheriff of Rocky Ridge. He had ties. Roots. She couldn’t ask him to abandon them, either.
Besides, she had bigger issues at hand, anyway.
Putting that tangle of emotions off to the side for now, Val shared a mostly quiet dose of caffeine with Mark, then went to see her father. She’d been afraid to leave him as he groaned and seemed so much worse this time, so Val had expected Mark to have left when she came back out. He hadn’t, though. He remained there with her abandoned bouquet and her dad’s Get Well balloons. How could she have forgotten?
And why was their timing so bad?
“Mark, you stayed.”
“Of course, I did. How’s your dad?”
“Struggling more, I think. The nurses are checking on him more often. Seems that this may extend his time in the hospital, as well as his recovery.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.” She was. She so was.
“Ms. Bernard,” a nurse—a different one from before—snagged her attention. “May I speak with you?”
“Yes.” She stood.
“Think I’ll go back,” Mark told her, his tone dispassionate. She’d disappointed him, she was sure. Yet there was nothing she could do about it.
“I’m so glad you came to visit. I wish it could’ve been under better circumstances.”
All he did was offer her the slightest of smiles. Even then, it was there only for a heartbeat before it disappeared again. And as horrible as Val felt for letting him go, she had to. She’d do anything for her father. Anything at all. Even though he’d eventually graduate to skilled nursing care in a facility that would assist him in getting back up on his feet, she didn’t know if she could leave him in the meantime.
That meant no time for Mark, no matter what might be between them.
This time the sheriff didn’t hug or kiss her, not even another peck at her temple. He merely departed, and she wondered if this would be the last time. If she’d ever see or be in contact with him again. Maybe it’d be better for him if they weren’t.
It wasn’t like she could commit to anything.
She returned to her father’s room to watch him frown in his sleep. Val hated to think about this, but what kind of hospital bills would they receive from this? Her father had health insurance, but it would only cover a certain percentage of the total. Thousands of dollars could still be due. And since they were already in debt because of Biggs never, she’d need to do more rodeos to pay it down.
Even if she’d been doing as many performances as she could.
When would they ever get out of this hole they were in if it kept getting deeper and deeper? Would Mark wait for her? It felt selfish to want him to, but she did. Even though she’d never admit that to him. It would have to be at his discretion, because she couldn’t promise anything to him. Maybe never.
She should end this before it started. That would be the right thing to do. Even if she didn’t want to.