Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
A n hour and a half later, I’ve been through the whole story twice, and my mum has analysed it to death; from the shopkeeper’s questionable sales tactics and my alternative approach to picking my numbers, to the moment I realised that I’d won and seeing the money there in my account. She has also – backed by my dad – given me a rather painful and lengthy lecture for tanking a bottle of wine on my own in The Meadows the moment my relationship went sour (I’m well aware it wasn’t my finest moment and of the safety issue that created), and an even bigger one for quitting my job like I did. I did, however, receive some brownie points for saying no to a stranger (James, the arrogant twat from the shop) and the excited buzz that’s been in the room since they discovered I was telling the truth is still burning big and bright.
Eventually, though – as I was dreading – the conversation steers in the direction of what I’m going to do with the money.
‘You’ll need to be very careful with it,’ says my mum. ‘It’s not enough for you to go wild. And you’ll still need to work, so I don’t know what you were thinking packing in your job. I know you’ve mentioned some nonsensical idea about finding your dream career, but that’s codswallop. Perfect jobs do not exist. Your father can help you get your job back, so you don’t waste lots of money being unemployed.’
‘Agreed.’ My dad nods. ‘And you need to look at how to get the most from your winnings. We’ll take you to see a financial adviser and we can work through the best options together.’
‘There’s also your pension to consider,’ my mum chips in again, as if she’s part of an official tag team. ‘You should top that up. You may have been earning a good salary, but these days you need to put a lot more in to have a reasonable income when you retire.’
‘That’s a good point, June. There really is a lot to think about.’
Here we go. This is exactly what I expected. I channel my inner calm as best I can before opening my mouth.
‘Mum, Dad, as ever, I love you and I appreciate your support, but… I’m a grown woman, and I’d really appreciate it if you would leave me to manage my own money.’
‘With the greatest respect, Emma…’ My mum waggles a finger at me. ‘What do you know about investment options and pensions? You need someone to guide you and help you make good decisions.’
I bite my tongue to halt the retort that’s ready to leave my lips. I’m so glad I took the action I did on Thursday afternoon, otherwise this is the point where I’d have run out of a defence.
‘ With the greatest respect, Mum ,’ I mimic her in response. ‘I know more than you think. I’ve already been to see a financial adviser. ’
‘Emma, don’t speak to your mother in that tone,’ my dad scolds me for the second time today.
Hurt clouds my mum’s face and I feel a little guilty.
‘Look, I’m sorry.’ I soften my tone. ‘But I have thought about that stuff, and… I want you to be proud of me for taking some sensible steps.’
‘We are proud of you, Ems, aren’t we, June?’ My dad grabs my hand in an almost instantaneous turn around.
‘Of course we are, silly.’ My mum reaches over and ruffles my hair.
‘I guess we have to accept that our wee girl’s growing up,’ my dad teases.
Oh, if only they would.
I spend some more time talking my parents through the conversation with the financial adviser and my initial thinking about how I’ll manage my money, while conveniently omitting the bits I know are guaranteed to start an argument. My plan to have some fun, and where it came from, is my business. They don’t need to know everything. Even Cat doesn’t know about it yet. My mum and dad protest here and there and try to push their views, but as I’ve spoken with a professional, I’m able to bat back the parts I don’t agree with. The fact that I’m also planning to gift them some money helps too, despite them making out that it’s a ‘completely unnecessary, but very generous gesture’.
I feel much lighter during the drive back to Edinburgh in the late afternoon. That’s the difficult bit over. Thank god.
‘That went better than I thought it would,’ I say.
‘Definitely,’ Cat agrees. ‘Good move going to see a financial adviser first. It could have been a very different experience. Although, as I said on the way over, I don’t think your parents are totally unreasonable, honey. They just really care, and unfortunately it comes across a bit over the top.’
‘ A bit ?’
‘OK, a lot.’ She giggles. ‘But you did really well. Especially when your mum started going on about Lottie like that. And now that’s ticked off, you can look forward to some Saturday night fun with me and the girls. I can’t wait to hear about this secret plan you were cooking up last night.’
Not long after we get back to Cat’s, we’re on our way out again, and as we enter Ruan Sabai – our favourite Thai restaurant and a beautiful little haven of peace and tranquillity, tucked away down a narrow close in the Old Town – our senses are engulfed by enticing aromas of lemongrass, coconut and lime. We order some wine and are toasting my successful encounter with my parents when Amber wanders in, closely followed by Sara.
After ordering our usual banquet for four and some general chit chat – which once again includes Cat ducking questions about her new bloke – I fill them in on my challenging parental visit.
‘They sound like a mare,’ says Sara. ‘It’s your money. You can do what you want with it.’
‘Exactly.’ I nod. ‘But I guess having overbearing parents is better than having ones who don’t give a shit.’
‘For sure,’ Cat gives my arm a supportive squeeze. ‘By the way, honey, in case it’s on your mind, no one’s expecting you to pay tonight. That was really generous of you the other day, but it was a one-off.’
Sara vigorously nods agreement, indicating that I’d be mad to think anything else .
‘ Oh, what? ’ Amber feigns outrage. ‘I figured it would be dinner on you for the next ten years.’
I arch an entertained eyebrow at Cat and she laughs. This particular issue had crossed my mind – whether there would be any expectation on me – so I’m relieved that my friends have addressed this. And anyway, I’m planning to treat the girls to something way better.
Our starters arrive and we’re temporarily distracted as we pass the food around, ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over the delicious smells coming from the dishes.
‘Can I tell you what I’m planning to do with my win?’ I say, as we tuck into our platefuls like a flock of ravenous vultures. ‘Well, a couple of the things I’m planning. I haven’t got it all sorted yet but I do have something exciting to share.’
I instantly have their attention, and I’m about to elaborate, but Amber beats me to it.
‘You’re getting a boob job.’
‘No, but thanks for making me wonder if I need one.’
‘How many people who get boob jobs actually need them?’ Sara offers, and our eyes involuntarily fall to her generous, tanned cleavage, framed perfectly by her burnt orange (no doubt, designer) wrap dress.
‘ Hey, they’re real .’ She pushes her chest out further as if to prove it.
‘If you say so,’ Amber mutters, mouth full of chicken satay. ‘Emma, go for it.’
I start by filling them in on my plan to gift money to my parents and make the two charity donations in memory of Lottie’s late family members.
‘Aww that’s such a lovely gesture.’ Cat puts a hand to her chest. ‘Lottie must be really touched. ’
‘She is.’ I nod. ‘She seemed quite overwhelmed, but it was so important to me to do something for her.’
‘ Yeah, yeah . We know, you’re a saint and all, well done.’ Amber’s patience appears to be wearing thin. ‘Will you fast forward to the good bit. There had better be a good bit.’
‘I was getting there .’ I give her a look that I hope loosely translates as ‘shut the hell up’ and she offers me a withering stare in response. ‘So, the exciting part…’ I pause for effect. ‘Is that I’m going to live like a millionaire for a week.’