Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
A n hour and a bit later, I’m on my second cappuccino in one of Edinburgh airport’s numerous cafes, continually checking my phone for messages. There hasn’t been a peep from Amber and it’s starting to make me very nervous. Although the rational part of me knows there’s still plenty of time, I’m finding it difficult to keep calm – particularly as I have zero control over this situation.
‘Come on ,’ I mutter at my phone, earning myself some strange looks from fellow customers. Unsurprisingly, it doesn’t oblige.
I finish my drink and head to WHSmith where I impatiently flick through some magazines until I finally receive a message from Amber.
Couldn’t convince Cat. On my way but caught in some traffic. Go ahead through security and I’ll catch you up.
Great. Just great. I knew something like this would happen. All I can do now is hope that she’ll make it in time.
Grabbing my things, I see off my case at the bag drop and join the queue for security, where it only then dawns on me that I’ve missed the key point in Amber’s message – Cat’s not coming. My heart sinks. I’m so disappointed by what this means that it takes everything I have to hold back the tears. Men can be replaced – well, they definitely can if you shouldn’t have been with them in the first place – but a true, lifelong best friend can’t.
Unable to bear the thought that it might upset Cat even more that I’m going on this holiday as if nothing ever happened, I tap out a message to her.
I know I’ve hurt you more than I can even imagine. I can’t put into words how sorry I am. This holiday is only going ahead because Lottie’s asked me go and I don’t want to disappoint Amber, but I won’t enjoy a minute of it. My heart is irreparably broken without you as my best friend. xxx
I hit ‘send’, knowing there will be no response, and as I dwell on this, all the other disasters of the last few weeks elbow their way into my consciousness: Lottie’s accident; my break up with Dave and him cheating on me; Sara not being the friend I thought she was; my unfortunate encounter with Simon from the bar; and of course, James. Lovely James, who I pushed away.
After security, I spend some time browsing the shops in the departure lounge as a way of distracting myself, but it’s futile. Negative thoughts devour me like midges in a Highland forest. I need Amber with me to help me maintain perspective – or preferably to give me a good kick up the arse. As much as her tough love approach can be difficult to stomach, I’m genuinely understanding the need for it right now.
With only ten minutes left until the bag drop closes, I can’t stand it anymore. I call Amber, but it goes straight to voicemail, and, as I’m cursing her once more for this final heroic, yet crazy endeavour, my phone buzzes in my hand. Checking it, I see to my dismay that it’s not a message from her, it’s my phone signalling that it’s out of battery and shutting itself down. I’ve forgotten to charge it overnight.
‘ Nooo …’ I groan, attracting yet more unwanted attention from those around me.
Leaving the shop I’m in, I rake through my hand luggage looking for my charger in the hope that I can plug my phone in somewhere, but it’s not there. I must have packed it in my hold luggage by mistake, and as I don’t know Amber’s number off by heart, I now have no way of contacting her or knowing when she’s going to get here. If she’s even going to get here. All I can do is wait.
I look up at the departures board and see that our flight now indicates ‘Go to gate’, so I trudge along to it, and I’m still alone when boarding is announced soon after. I’ve now resigned myself to the fact that Amber’s not going to make it. My worry about her going off on her own, which I admit seemed irrational at the time, has been confirmed. I watch dejectedly as the passengers around me queue up and board the plane one by one, until I’m the only person left at the gate other than the airline staff. For a moment, I consider going on my own, but I can’t think of anything worse than having only myself for company for the next ten days. With the flight now on final call, I have no choice but to approach the staff member by the gate door and explain what’s happened.
‘So sorry to hear that, madam,’ she says to me. ‘I’m afraid we can’t wait any longer, though. I’ll arrange to have your hold bag removed from the aircraft. You can collect it from the desk near the luggage carousels. ’
‘Thanks.’ I return glumly to my seat and watch miserably as our flight status changes to ‘departed’ and eventually disappears off the screen.
I sit for what feels like ages (but is probably only ten or so minutes), unable to muster the energy or motivation to leave the airport. I may have been reluctant to go on the holiday, but I’ve now realised it was far more preferable to the alternative. Passengers for another flight eventually gather around me, a welcome temporary distraction, but it’s not long until I inevitably find myself isolated with my thoughts once again.
‘ There she is! ’ a familiar voice suddenly cries out of nowhere.
My head jerks up and I’m surprised to see Amber hurrying towards me. What’s even more of a shock is that, not far behind her, is – Cat.