Chapter 15 Penny
Penny
NOW
There are moments in life that leave a lasting mark on your memory, some good and others bad. Things I’ll never forget, even if I want to. They are part of me, like a scar.
The day Fia was born, and I held her for the first time at the hospital. Good.
Nan taking all of us to the beach as kids, chasing us down the sand, wearing her ridiculously large sunhat. Good.
Getting paired with Audrey as roommates freshman year. Good.
Burying Nan unexpectedly. Bad.
Waking up to find out Jesse and Danny had been arrested a week before I left for college. Bad.
Driving to the university without him. Bad.
And now, as I lean back in the worn clawfoot tub, hair plastered to my skin, the water growing tepid, my fingers brush my lips as a strange, looping sensation plays in my brain.
Kissing Jesse tonight… I can’t decide which category it fits in.
Good or bad.
Everything about Jesse in the last two days has been neither black nor white. It’s somehow in the messy middle, the gray, where my heart struggles most.
Tears slip down my cheeks because this was not supposed to happen.
I’ve spent years pushing the image of his green eyes from my memory, trying to forget how it felt to be held in his arms. He’s right, he’s not the same guy he was at eighteen.
But that one kiss somehow brought me right back to that heartbroken girl who had everything planned.