Chapter 29 Penny #2
“Fuck, you’re so sexy, Penny.” He growls, and I reach for his shoulder, yanking him toward me until his lips crash onto my neck. He kisses me slowly, his tongue swirling around the sensitive skin. Then his fingers dip into the band of my panties, and I gasp as he pushes two fingers inside me.
There’s no space between us to think about what this is. Or how familiar yet different it feels.
I’m not the teenage girl he promised forever to and had stolen kisses with. I’m a woman who’s been without him for ten years, who’s fought off what-ifs and denied herself so much because of his betrayal. But he’s not the boy I knew either. He’s steady and sure, confident and strong.
“You’re dripping for me.” He bites my earlobe as his calloused thumb strokes me. His tongue ravishes its way down my collarbone until I’m arching my back.
Jesse’s gaze drops to mine, his irises swirls of dark green, and he smirks. His lips part as he pulls my nipple into his mouth, and my eyes roll back in my head.
He is all man... He knows exactly what he’s doing.
“I’m going to come,” I breathe out, relishing his touch, but he pulls out, leaving me throbbing.
“Not yet…I want all of you.” He growls, and there’s no time to think about what this means—because right now, I want this. I want all of him, too.
“Jesse…fuck me. Now,” I command, still bucking my hips into him, and he reaches for the nightstand.
I grab his hand. “No—I’m safe... I want to feel every inch of you. Please.”
That’s all he needed to hear, because in one swift motion, he yanks me up until I’m on my hands and knees in front of him. From behind, he presses his hard cock against my ass.
It’s bigger than I remember, but his lips feather against my ear, and I all but come as he whispers, “Hold on to the headboard, princess.”
I don’t even have time to glance behind me before I’m forced to grip the headboard, my knuckles white as he slides into me, and I take all of him.
The moment he’s inside me, it’s like a puzzle piece shifted back into place. He’s rough, palming my breast, squeezing my nipple, kissing my neck, and biting me as he fucks me hard.
But there’s nothing quick and dirty about this.
Because every touch reaches in and finds places in me I’ve sheltered off, that only he could reach.
No one is Jesse, no one could ever be. He’s sweet where it counts, but knows how to handle me. It’s like no time has passed, like we fell right back into our rough and rowdy ways between the sheets.
My fingernails dent the pine headboard as I turn around and beg for him to be rougher.
He obeys me, just like I knew he would, wrapping my long hair in his fist and pulling my head back. He lies on his back and instructs me to straddle him.
“Turn around, I want you to watch yourself as I make you come.” His voice wraps around me, and I do what he says.
Fingers tightly grip the swells of my hips, and he guides me over him. I meet my eyes in the mirror over the dresser, and they quickly fall to the place where he and I meet. I watch as he does as he says.
His fingers grip my thighs tight as he thrusts into me so hard I feel like I might split in half.
“Jesse! Fuck!” His name rolls off my tongue, and I tighten my hips, knowing I can’t stave off this orgasm for another second. I ride out the wave of our ecstasy, watching his muscles strain and glisten, my pink nails raking down his hard chest.
But it’s not until he slows down, still inside me, his hands running slowly down the sides of my body, that a dam in my heart bursts open. We’re warm, and the air is sticky, but my body shakes, and he sits up, folding us together. He continues to kiss me, gently.
Jesse pulls out, and instantly, my body feels empty. I fall back, collapsing into the messy sheets that smell like cedar and floral together. Us.
As he stands, I don't hide my lingering gaze. His arms and chest bulge from the workout he just performed on my body, and it's not fair that anyone can look this good.
But he doesn’t leave me alone for long; he drops back down on the bed after grabbing a towel, and I roll onto his chest, so we’re face to face. I can feel my hair wildly splayed around me and his heart beating under my chest as Jesse runs his fingers over my cheek.
We hold each other’s eyes in the low evening light.
“I think I missed you,” I whisper, and the words hang in the air above us.
I can’t take that back. It’s the truth.
No matter how he hurt me, I missed him.
Jesse kisses my lips and rolls me over until I’m on my back and he’s next to me. He then pulls the covers around us, creating a safe cocoon, just like he used to.
His arm wraps around my stomach, pulling me close.
“I’m here now, Pen.” He brings my knuckles to his lips, and I let my eyes close to the sound of his voice.
Messy hair entangles me, Jesse’s heavy arm draped over my body. The sky outside is completely black, but I don’t need light to know what the man next to me looks like.
The profile of his nose, his strong jaw, and the dimple on his chin. And his full lips, which part as he breathes deeply; it’s all ingrained in my mind. I could draw him from memory, down to the little scar above his eyebrow.
The rise and fall of his chest are more prominent than the last time I lay here with him, but I still trace the valleys and peaks with my fingertips. Gently, like he might disappear if I push too hard.
His dark brows are furrowed, and a piece of me aches. The same piece of me that ached the day I found out what his life was like at home, the same piece that wanted nothing more than to protect him.
Carefully, I prop myself up on my elbows. I don’t want to wake him, but I can’t stop myself from running my fingers lightly through his hair.
Now that I’ve touched him, I feel like I can’t stop.
He’s chipping away at my resolve, and it both enlivens and terrifies me. There’s so much left unsaid, so much I still don’t understand about our breakup.
I just know that after what happened tonight between us, there’s no going back to pretending there was no us.
I can still be angry at him for what happened ten years ago, but a line was crossed. A very vulnerable, raw line.
When I trace his lips, his eyes flicker open.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He smiles, but then footsteps sound in the foyer, and I lunge over Jesse, grabbing his phone to check the time.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I whisper, my voice hoarse from sleep.
It’s almost nine.
Jesse’s eyes trace my frantic movements, but he doesn’t look nearly as panicked as I feel. My bare feet hit the wooden floors next to the bed, and the chilly air of the house quickly wakes me from my daydream as I search for my clothes in the dark.
“Hey, you guys up there?” Fia’s sing-song voice travels up the stairwell.
Without another look at Jesse, I forfeit the search and dart out of his room, sliding into the bathroom just as Fia reaches the top of the steps.
“Penny?” Her voice is muffled behind the door, and my pulse steadies.
Way too close.
I hear the telltale signs of Tank’s pitter-patter as he smooshes his nose into the door, sniffing loudly. I need to talk to Jesse about his manners, he is always trying to follow everyone into the bathroom.
“I’m in here, just about to shower!” I yell, shrill as hell. I hurry up and turn on the faucet.
“Okay! Well, I’m home! Where’s Jesse?” Fia’s leaning against the bathroom door.
This is what happens when you grow up sharing a bathroom with a sister. Privacy is a foreign policy.
“He’s probably sleeping, I don’t know, I just came home from a walk,” I blatantly lie and jump into the shower, recoiling as the old pipes spew out lukewarm water.
Fia’s footsteps fade down the hallway, and I sigh, leaning my head against the shower wall as water rushes down my face.
After a solid minute of deep breathing, I open my eyes.
Only to see handprint bruises on my thighs and hickeys lining my chest.
I exhale a chuckle and shake my head.
Audrey was right—I am so screwed.