18. Aiden
Chapter eighteen
Aiden
T he door to my hotel room slams open with a bang, as I stare at the dark screen with devastation at the loss of Phoebe on its surface. In the doorway stands a furious and riled-up Nicolo Amato, looking like he’s about to hulk out on me. “WHAT THE FUCK, AIDEN!” He yells as he stomps closer, and I see the unhinged look in his blue eyes. Is this fucker high right now?
“Were you just watching her? Was it you she was privately chatting with instead of me?” He demands with fury, his hands fisted at his sides, and his neck corded, the veins on the surface bulging. I take him in, from his bare feet to the white ribbed wife beater undershirt he’s wearing, with a pair of dark gray sweatpants. My eyebrow quirks questionably in his direction at his comment. He was watching her too? What the fuck, and what is he wearing? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen Nico look so unpretentious. He almost looks his age, and not like the stuck-up mafioso he plays at for his brother and father ’s approval. “Answer me, Aiden, or so help me fucking God, I am going to bash your head in.”
I jump to my feet, shove the laptop away, and square off with him, my irritation exploding inside of me like a virus infecting everything. He’s itching for a fight, and after what just happened, and the way he barged in here, like a lunatic making demands, like I’m his bitch, I’m ready to reward him with a broken face. He forgets himself, and who he’s speaking to. One of us plays at being a violent killing machine, while the other isn’t playing at all. I guess he needs reminding of which one he is. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Nico, huh? Do you think you can just barge in here like some fucking neanderthal, and demand answers from me? I don’t work for your daddy or brother, asswipe!”
“You were, weren’t you, you cunt! You were watching my girl fuck herself, and getting off on it!” His words are the last fucking straw. His girl? Yeah, no, he’ll be lucky if I allow him to keep breathing tonight. The fact that he was watching her too, makes uncontrollable rage rise within me, and all I see is red. He rushes forward, his fist flying toward my face, but I’m prepared for it, dodging the hit, and slamming my own fist into his stomach, and he doubles forward with a hissing sound. “What I was, or was not, doing is none of your fucking business, Nico. You think you can come in here and take me? Let’s see what you got, punk.”
Nico forces himself to stand back up, and rushes me again with all his strength. We both crash into the cabinet holding the hotel television. It slams to the ground at the same time we do, as we exchange blows. I get him good with an uppercut that has his head smashing into the floor, but the slimy fucker knees me in the balls, and my breath gets trapped in my throat, as I release my hold on him and clutch myself. He scrambles to his knees, throwing a punch at my gut, as he gla res at my face with malice, and for the briefest of moments, I actually admire that he’s not crying like a little bitch, even if he did just go for my nuts. “How could you do that to me? How could you covet something that is mine? I loved you like a fucking brother!” Another punch lands on my stomach, and I have to turn to the side to avoid the next blow, as I attempt to push him away from me. Jesus fuck, I think I’m going to upchuck the damn tacos I ate earlier.
“She’s not... yours, she... never... fucking was,” I huff out, as I try to catch my breath, “You never... deserved her, you... selfish prick.” I meet his eyes and let him witness his death in mine. He’s been pushing me over and over, since he sent me that link. I never wanted to hurt him, and never thought I would be capable of destroying my best friend, but now I’m not so sure. My feelings have changed, and all I see is the man who took what was mine, and caused her pain and devastation, so much so that she abandoned both of us. I’ve lost years with Phoebe, and now she’s selling herself, just to stay alive and hidden from our families. He has to pay for that. He deserves to suffer like she has. No, he deserves worse, for thinking he ever had a claim to her. She was always mine. Every moment without her has been agony, can’t he fucking see that?
“How can you say that, Aiden? She was going to be my wife. Mine. “ The fucker tries to straddle my waist, as he rains blow after blow down on my face, and head. My head cracks on the hard floor, and for a moment, I see everything in a blurred haze, and my nose explodes with blood, that trickles down the back of my throat when I swallow. I manage to get my hands around his muscular chest, holding him tightly as I flip us so, that he’s now pinned underneath me by my heavier weight, and slam him over and over on the area rug, until he stops trying to fight my hold. Both of us are breathing heavily and bleeding. My blood trickles down my face, and droplets fall on his upper chest and neck, painting him in a macabre abstract of red, and staining his shirt. He bares his teeth at me, like an irate captive wolf attempting to fight his capture, as he tries to push me off of him. I slam my thick forearm over his neck, and press down as hard as I can, causing him to gasp in a stunted breath. Kill him, press harder. This can be finally over, and she can be yours, if he stops breathing. “She never wanted to be your wife. You were forcing her, you and that cunt of a father of yours. You never gave her a goddamn choice ’cause you knew she wouldn’t say yes, isn’t that right, Nico?”
“I... love... her,” he wheezes as he stares into my eyes, and I see the madness and devastation that losing Phoebe has caused inside of him. I feel it too, in that we are kindred spirits, both lost and broken without her. “No, Nico, that’s not love. You don’t understand the meaning of the word, and you never have. You covet her. You want to control and own her. None of that is love, and she knew it too,” I growl with agitation, as I release my hold on his neck and force myself to roll away from him, my body and face aching from his fists. I slouch my back against the end of the tumbled mattress, and he lies on the floor, breathing heavily and spent. I listen to him try to clear his throat and regain his breathing, and I know I should feel guilty that I’ve hurt him, but all the darkness inside of me won’t allow it. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place, and I can’t seem to grasp onto just one.
A few moments ago, I was happily talking to my girl, making her laugh, and then she dropped a bomb on me that she’s going to actually do a live porn thing with someone else, instead of the ones she’s been participating in alone. When she asked me if I would be that person, I didn’t know what to say. Not because I don’t want to be with her, and wouldn’t be elated to touch her, but because the minute she sees it’s me, she’s going to fucking run for her life again, believing that I will force her back to the fate she ran from. Will I? Is that not what I am here t o do? Bringing her back will end this war between the Murphys and the Amatos. We can stop all the bloodshed, and there can be peace. All I have to do is sacrifice the one person who means the most to me. It will mean losing her all over again, this time perhaps for good. I know that she’s alive, but she will be as good as gone to me once more. Can I live with myself, knowing that I have made her miserable?
I don’t have any answers for all the questions that plague my mind, in a vicious, never-ending circle. All I do know is that we are almost out of time, and have to get to Phoebe now. I won’t allow her to fuck another man for money. I can barely live with myself now, knowing what she’s doing to keep herself alive, and that I am partially responsible for it. I should have tried harder to find another way to convince Tadhg to release her from this stupid marriage. I should have left it all behind, and run with her. Those last few moments when she cried in my arms, I should have realized that she would run from her situation, that her desperation to prevent her fate would lead to this.
I groan as I turn to look at Nicolo, my eye already smarting, and threatening to close, from one of his punches. His large, veiny forearm is draped across his closed eyes, as his chest rises quickly with the effort to catch his breath. His lip is split open, his chin has blood trickling down his jaw and neck, and his shirt is all but shredded from our altercation. That’s when I spy the ink I’ve never seen before. I reach out and grasp his arm, digging my fingers cruelly into his flesh, as I force my body upright, with a groan at the pain in my gut, and stare at the scrolling black lettering on his skin. Mio amore eterno, Phoebe. I know a little Italian after years of living around Nico and Milano. My eternal love, Phoebe. The fucker got that tattooed on his skin after what he did to her, and how he disrespected and hurt her. The urge to break his arm tries to roll me, and to avoid doing more damage, I releas e his arm with disgust. “You don’t deserve the privilege of her name on your skin, Nico.”
I wait for him to argue back why he thinks he’s worthy of anything to do with Phoebe, but he doesn’t. He just stays silent, and that, more than anything, has some of the turmoil inside of me receding. “I know, Aiden. Fuck, I know I was never worthy, but I want to be. I know you don’t believe me, but I have never wanted to take something back, as much as I do what I did to hurt Phoebe, and if she would just give me a moment, just one, I would beg her on my knees for forgiveness.”
“What are you going to do if she won’t, Nico? You going to force her back to Chicago, kicking and screaming, and lock her in your home like a princess in a tower?” I question, both needing to hear his answer, and dreading it.
He opens his eyes and stares right at me, and I observe the anguish on his features. His blues are so dark they look like a midnight sky. I’m reminded that Phoebe always thought they were beautiful growing up, and that makes my chest ache. “I’ll let her go if I have to. I’ll force myself to live without her, but I will never move on, and I will never love anyone else but her.” Three pieces of string intricately fused together… prying one apart will always ruin the other two. That is what Nicolo and I are, ruined without her.
I almost tell him what she’s planning. The words die on my tongue as my lips open and close, and nothing escapes my mouth. I think Nico believes his words, but I know once he sees her again in person, they will make a liar of him. He will never be able to let her go, and I know, ’cause I won’t either.
We need to stop fucking around and get to Phoebe now. I need to prevent her from going through with her plan to fuck someone else on camera, and I have to decide what I am going to do if Nico tries to take her fr om me. I never thought that I would be capable of murdering someone I love, but I guess only time will tell if that’s true or not.
“No more fucking around, Nico. In the morning, we head straight for Phoebe, and if you think you’re going to abandon me, or prevent me from reaching her, I’ll slit your fucking throat, friend or no friend.” I force my aching body off the ground and head toward the ensuite bath, in desperate need of a hot shower to clear my thoughts. “Would you really kill me for her, Aiden?” His question has me stopping in my tracks, and looking over my shoulder at him. “I wouldn’t hesitate, Nico, and I would sleep peacefully at night, knowing you were no longer a threat to her.”
“Good,” he replies with a deep groan, as he forces his body up from the floor, and heads toward the door he smashed into the wall. “She deserves someone protecting her.”