22. Phoebe
Chapter twenty-two
Phoebe
“ T ell me that you will always belong to me, a stór. Tell me that your heart beats for me, like mine does for you,” Aiden demands, as his fingers circle my throat and apply pressure, forcing my breath to halt. The intensity in his eyes is both as frightening as it is alluring. Everything about him screams dominance and power right now, and I have never witnessed him like this, in all the years I have known him. His other hand goes to the front of my flimsy silk camisole, and with one vicious yank, the spaghetti straps tear, and the front of the shirt drapes down, revealing my pebbled, hard nipples behind my strapless, nude-colored sheer bra. “Jesus, you’re fucking gorgeous. There isn’t a single inch of you that doesn’t make my mouth water, Phebes.” His sultry words, and the hoarse tone of his voice, cause goosebumps to erupt all over my exposed flesh. I should stop this. I should be pulling back, and not putting our friendship and my brother’s wrath at risk, and yet the words never leave my lips, and my body refuses to obey my mind’s orders.
I have been in love with this man for most of my life, and for all those years that I’ve spent pining and dreaming of him, not once did I ever truly believe that we would end up here, and that he felt anything besides friendship and camaraderie for me. Alone in my family’s pool house, the curtains drawn tightly, and the door locked, so we can shut out the miserable world around us. He followed me in here, after I came back from watching my future husband, Nicolo, fuck my cousin over a desk, like a deviant asshole. How’s that for a slap in the face the night before your wedding?
Asshole, how could he hurt me like that? How could he crush me, not only by his actions, but by doing that with her?
The overwhelming feelings of disappointment, rejection, self-pity, self-loathing, and rage are still sailing through my veins. A part of me wants to go rushing to my brother, and tell him what I saw, how Nicolo has made a fool of me and disrespected our family, but I know it won’t lead him to call off this wedding. No, that would be too easy. Tadhg will most likely ask for more tribute to be paid, to soothe his hurt feelings rather than mine. No, my brother would insist the wedding go forward, even if I was at death’s door. He’d just slap some lipstick on me and call it what it is; a sacrificial offering. He’s a power-hungry bastard, and apparently, I don’t mean that much to him after all. My dear brother, the head of our clan, has forgotten our ways. Once upon a time, women and men were equal, and a Celtic woman could not be married without her consent. God, how I wish we were back in those times.
I’m pulled out of my raging thoughts, as Aiden pinches my nipple over the fabric. “Come back to me, Phebes, and let me remind you that you are mianach.” He lowers his head toward my face, and allows the whiskers from his five o’clock shadow to rub against my skin, the prickly sensation causing a shiver to race through my limbs. His lips suck on the skin of my jaw before his sharp teeth nip at me, and a moan leaves my lips, as he releases my throat and slid es his fingers into the hair at my nape, gripping it tightly and forcing my neck to arch for him, and allow him unrestricted access. Jesus, his mouth feels so good sliding down my neck as he licks, sucks, and bites my flesh. Any thoughts of stopping him fly away, as his other hand yanks down the front of my bra, releasing my heaving breasts, as he cradles one into the palm of his large, rough hand. The calluses on his skin rub roughly against my sensitive nipple, and I feel like my eyes are about to cross with how amazing it feels. My legs shake, as I’m forced to stand before him, as his mouth continues its exploration of my skin, sliding across my clavicle, his teeth biting down until a whimper sounds in the air. I can feel the skin giving way under his brutality, and wetness coating my flesh. He releases my breast and pushes his finger into the painful bite, drawing a symbol on my skin that I can’t see, his grip on my hair forcing me to continue to stare into his deep hazel eyes, all the stunning colors swirling as his pupils dilate, and his breathing becomes labored. “This knot creates a bond between us that no one can break, Phoebe, not man nor God, not family or foe. It is a promise, from my soul to yours, that you will always belong to me, and I will always belong to you.”
His hand leaves my chest, he rips his belt from his pants, and for a moment, I’m confused and fearful he might strike me, based on the ferocious expression on his face as I tremble before him. I force my eyes away from his as he lifts the long leather strip, and instead of whacking me with it, he releases his grip on my hair, and intertwines our fingers tightly. He wraps the belt securely around both our joined hands, and I’m pretty sure my heart ceases to beat in my chest, as I realize what he’s doing. “This is my promise to you, a chéadsearc, you and I will be bound in this lifetime, and all the ones to follow. You are my bean chéile, you have always been mine, and I refuse to allow your brother to part us, or even the devil for that matter. I will slaughter anyone who tries. My heart has only ever beaten for you. This is my handfasting promise, Phoebe Murphy, from this moment on, you are my wife, the other part of my heart, and intertwined into my very soul. I will not live without you, and I will not allow you to live without me.”
Tears slide down my face at his tender and fierce words. How can he say these things to me, knowing what fate I am supposed to meet? How can he promise me forever, when tomorrow I will be forced to walk down the aisle to another man, and become his property? I pull on our joined hands, attempting to release myself. My heart is shattering piece by piece at my feet, as he declares the love I have waited years to hear, except we both know it is too late now. “I love you, Phoebe, please don’t turn from me.” The anguish in his voice is almost too much for me to bear. I am hurting him just as much as he’s hurting me. This miserable situation will destroy both of us in the end. “How... can you do... do this now, Aiden? I... I’ve waited years... to hear you declare your... love. You waited ’til the night before my wedding... to someone else, to tell me your feelings?” Anger at the unfairness of it all rises within me, like hot lava waiting to escape a volcano, and it scorches my insides. I try to release his grip, but his fingers hold tight to mine. No, I can’t listen to this. He’s too late, he waited too long, and now everything is a mess between us.
“I... I was always waiting for... the right moment. I knew that I was never worthy of you, despite doing my best to protect, and work for, this family. I thought I had more time to prove myself to your father, and then he fucking died. I truly believed Tadhg would never force you to go through with this, but I was so wrong, Phoebe, so horribly fucking wrong.” He pulls me forward by our joined hands, until my body crushes against his, and his lips meet my forehead in a tender kiss. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Phebes. I just know I can’t let you go. I would rather rip my own heart out of my chest and stomp on it. The pain would be less.”
I pull back once again, trying to put space between our bodies, so I can meet his gaze. “What about Nicolo, Aiden? Are you ready to turn your back on him? To destroy all of your years of friendship, and the alliance between our families?” He stares down at me, and at first, I think he’s going to come to his senses, and realize that we can’t do this, that we can never truly be together. It would cause a war between the Amatos and the Murphys, one where so many innocents would die. My heart feels heavy, knowing that I have lost him, and it’s hopeless. More tears slide from the corners of my eyes and trail down my face, a mixture of my acceptance of my wretched destiny, and the loss of our unrequited love. “Is tusa mo theaghlach, Phebes. Yours is the only alliance I care about.” His mouth slides down on mine with hunger, our teeth smack together as my lips immediately open for him, and his tongue plunges inside to twine with mine. The belt slips off our hands and clatters to the floor in the same instance. I rise on my toes, wrap my arms around his neck, and he grips my ass, forcing me to jump and wrap my legs around his slender waist.
I can feel his thick erection through his rough jeans, pressed tightly against my clenching core. My wetness is leaking out of me, and rapidly dampening my panties, as I rub myself like a cat against him. His fingers slide under my full, pleated skirt, and he meets the hot flesh of my upper thighs just below my asscheeks. I’ve never been so happy that I wore sexy underwear and a skirt in my life. One of his fingers trails down the skimpy lace fabric of my thong, separating my asscheeks, he pulls on it harshly, and I feel the material tear. “I know that we should wait until I can properly marry you, Phebes, but I just can’t. I need you, need to claim you as mine,” Aiden gasps, as he pulls back from our kiss, and leaves me stunned.
He wants to marry me, is he serious? I don’t know what to make of all of this. We have been dancing around our feelings for years, playing coy, it seems. It’s not like I never noticed the heated looks he would give me, or how protective he was of me. I just was never sure if he truly wanted me. I’ve spent most of my teenage years and early twenties dateless, thanks to Aiden and Nicolo scaring off any potential suitors. My brother, Tadhg, even made constant fun of them, especially Aiden, but never even in my most sinful fantasy, in the dark of night, when I touched myself, did I think this would ever happen.
He takes a few steps toward the large brown leather sectional in the room and sits down, splaying his legs wide as I straddle him, my legs still firmly wrapped around his waist. His mouth fuses once again with mine, drinking down moans and sighs. My body is overflowing with heat, every nerve ending on fire, as I grind over and over on his thick cock. It’s glorious, but it’s not enough. I feel so empty. I need him the way I do air, the way my heart requires blood to keep beating. I break our kiss and stare into his eyes, knowing I need him to make me his, in every sense of the word. “Please. Please make me yours. I need you to be my first, my only. I belong to you.” I should be ashamed of how needy and desperate I sound, but I can’t think past all of the longing coursing through me.
“Jesus fuck, Phebes,” he moans, as he forces me back until I am standing unsteadily before him. He rips his shirt over his head, revealing his defined chest and pecs, a Celtic knot tattoo, with my family’s emblem intertwined inside of it, on his left pectoral. My hand rises with the desire to trace it with my fingers and my tongue, but I force myself to refrain from moving. My eyes trail down his chiseled abdomen, glimpsing that sharp ‘v’ that overheats my brain, as my glance continues following the trail of dark, neat hair, until it disappears inside the band of his jeans. He unzips his pants and releases a massive cock, with a silver piercing on the head, pulling down his pants until they reach his ankles, and he kicks them and his boots away. My mouth goes dry, just staring at how large and veiny his cock is, and the piercing adorning it looks intimidating as hell. My legs clench tightly as I fight the need to beg, which almost has me dropping down to my knees before him. He catches my look of trepidation and fear, as I wonder how the hell that is going to fit inside of me, and a chuckle breaks the silence of our heavy breathing. “It will fit beautifully. Your sweet pussy was made for me.”
“Strip for me, bean chéile, show me what I’ve only seen in my dreams.” My shaking hands travel to the tangled strapless bra now just sitting around my stomach, as my breasts heave with my labored breath, and I remove it, allowing it to fall to the tiled floor. I move to unfasten my skirt with jerky fingers, and a naughty smirk crosses his handsome face. It catches me off guard. I’ve never seen that look on Aiden’s face before. Honestly, it makes me feel like he’s the big bad wolf, and I’m Little Red Riding Hood, just waiting to be consumed. To further my ludicrous thought, he snaps his teeth before licking his plump bottom lip, and groaning while his fingers clutch around his cock, and he strokes it. “I can’t wait to taste every inch of you, Phoebe. I know you’re about to become my favorite meal.”
My skirt falls to my ankles, and I step out of it and my shoes, until I am standing completely bare before him, and I can feel my skin tinting red. I’ve never been naked in front of anyone, besides my mother when I was a child, and it makes me feel self-conscious. I know I’m not as thin and toned as some of the girls who hit on Aiden, Nicolo, and my brother, despite trying my best to exercise and eat healthy. It’s not my fault that milk chocolate and I are in an abusive, toxic relationship.
My arms wrap around myself, endeavoring to hide from his intense gaze, as I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek. “Don’t do that, don’t hide from me,” he growls, and it causes the hairs on my arms to stand on end. “Come here, Phoebe. I want you to climb onto the sofa and straddle my face, so I can taste your sweetness.” What the fuck does he mean straddle his face? A blast of heat rises up my spine, as he quirks an eyebrow and beckons me forward with his fingers. I stumble awkwardly onto the sectional , my feet planted on either side of his large body, and my pussy right in line with his face. Mortification fills me as his hands push my legs further apart, until I’m forced to hold on to his head to stabilize myself. “That’s it, pretty girl, now come sit on my face, so I can lick this pretty pussy.”
Ohmyfuckinggod! He presses his lips against my mound, kissing his way downwards toward my aching, swollen clit. His tongue slips out and lashes at my hard nub, back and forth, until my breath stutters in my throat, and my fingers grip his hair for dear life. I’ve made myself cum before, what twenty-two-year-old hasn’t, but it’s never felt this exquisite. My head dips back, as moan after lust-filled moan leaves my lips, and he continues lashing me with his tongue. One of his hands strokes my inner thigh, while the other grips one of my asscheeks and squeezes tightly, before slapping it hard. The slight hit of pain, and feeling of heat on my delicate skin, forces a loud, ragged gasp from my mouth, and my eyes nearly cross from the pleasure. “You taste like fucking sin, Phebes,” he mumbles against my soaked pussy lips, as he slides his tongue between them, and circles my tight hole. My body ripples with waves of charged electricity, every inch alive for the first time, as my orgasm sprints up my spine, and makes all my muscles tense. His tongue plunges inside my tight hole, as his thumb presses intense circles round and round across my aching bud, matching the rhythm he’s fucking me with his tongue.
“Ohmygod, holy shit, oh fuck!” I shriek as the orgasm slams into me, and my legs almost buckle. The only thing keeping me upright is Aiden’s grip on my ass, and mine in his hair. “One,” he rumbles into my pussy lips, as he slips a finger inside of my tight hole, followed by another. “So fucking tight, this pretty pussy is going to have to stretch for my thick cock,” he groans, as he sucks one of my pussy lips into his mouth. His fingers scissor and stretch my tight hole, and I can feel my wetness dripping out of me, and coating his digits and palm. “So messy for me, mo stoirín. Look at how much your cunt wants to be mine. You’re such a good girl cumming for me like my perfect slut.”
Holy fuck, Aiden and dirty talk, I a hundred percent never imagined that. His fingers rub against a spot deep inside of me, that causes me to sound like a cat purring, as I spread my stance even further to allow him to finger fuck me deeper. He slips a third digit inside of me, and I cry out, almost about to tell him that it’s too much. “You can take it, beautiful. You will take my fingers, and my cock, in all of your holes. They’re all mine, and I intend to acquaint each and every single one with my cum.” Jesus, I’m a goner. Another orgasm ascends right over me, taking me down a maddening precipice, until I’m screaming his name over and over, as I cum all over his face, fingers, and chest. “That’s two, pretty girl.” He pecks at my swollen flesh. “Mercy,” I mumble, my voice sounding drunk as I sway in his grip.
“Never, I’ve waited for too long to have you, M’fhíorghrá,” he groans, as he licks up all my juices. His hands move to my waist, as he drags me down his body until I’m kneeling on the sectional, astride his protruding cock, that’s leaking beads of precum down its thick length, and bumps my clit with every breath he takes. His eyes darken, and become hooded, watching me lick my lips, as I watch the beads meet the steel protruding from his dick. “Do you want a taste of my cock, álainn?”
I can’t even vocalize my words. I just end up nodding like some lust-drunk heathen. I clear my throat, trying to form coherent words. “When... piercing... cock.” I realize that my gasped sentence is a mess, and he gives me this sweet, endearing look and pecks my lips. “I got it done a few years ago. I knew it would bring you pleasure.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal that he had metal placed in his dick, and my fuzzy brain realizes what he just said. He got that done for my pleasure? How can that be? “What?” I question, at the same time as he notches the head of his cock between my pussy lips, and thrusts back and forth, coating himself in my wetness. “I had hope, Phebes, that one day you w ould be mine.” Tears prickle at my eyes, and before I can stop them, I shed a few of them, and they trickle down my face. He always hoped I would be his, just like I hoped he would be mine. Another face pops into my mind with vibrant, laughing blue eyes, and with a sob, I force it away. No, I won’t allow him to intrude into this perfect moment. I won’t allow him to hurt me any further.
“Move to the cushion, álainn.” He helps me position myself next to him on the leather sectional, his hand rising to my throat, as his fingers tighten around the delicate column. My breath hitches as his nostrils flare. “You will lick every inch of me, and take me to the back of your throat. Do you hear me, my pretty cock slut?” I nod, because my mind no longer knows how to utter words, and he pulls me forward using his grip. I know that there will be bruises there tomorrow, in the shape of his fingers, and that further excites me. I’ll proudly wear his hand necklace in defiance.
My lips brush against the deep, purple mushroom crown of his cock, and taste his musky, salty precum. “Lick, clean me up, my dirty girl,” he groans, as my tongue gives his slit a tentative lick. “That’s it, fuck, Phebes,” he moans, and it’s the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I lick him from root to tip, lashing my tongue against his veiny girth, and wrapping my tongue around his crown, sucking deeply as he groans. My core clenches emptily with every sound, and I squirm, trying to lessen some of the neediness inside of me. I’ve already orgasmed twice, but it seems like my body can’t seem to get enough of this man. “That’s it, bean chéile, take me to the back of your throat, swallow me down.” I hollow my cheeks, and take his long length as far into my mouth as I can manage, gagging and choking when he hits the back of my throat. He thrusts upwards, and impales himself in my throat, until my nose is pressed against his fevered flesh. I can’t get any air into my throat, and my hands go to his chest an d thigh, my nails digging into his flesh, as he holds himself rigid in my throat. Tears slide from my eyes, and meet the saliva dribbling from the side of my overstretched lips. “What a perfect cock sucking slut you are. Fuck, my cock feels so good down your throat. Swallow for me, baby, let me feel how you tighten around me. Let me feel how I deprive you of your very breath that belongs to me.”
I swallow for him, and his groans are almost my undoing. I can feel another orgasm already rising within me. My pussy is so slick that my wetness is now coating my upper thighs. His hand slides around my body, until his fingers are slipping between my drenched pussy lips, and two of his fingers are making their way back inside of me, and thrusting in and out at the same speed his cock is doing to my throat. His thumb strokes my puckered hole, and it makes my eyes pop open wide. I try to look at him from the corner of my eye, but my thick hair obscures him like a chocolate curtain. “After I’ve claimed this perfect cunt, I am going to fill you back here, Phebes.” OHMYGOD! I cum with a gush, the orgasm hitting me like a hurricane, my body spasming, and my eyes rolling into the back of my head. He pulls my mouth off his rigid cock, his hand leaving my throat to cradle my face gently. “That’s three,” he gasps and pushes me back against the seat of the sectional, moving our bodies until he’s above me and my legs are positioned on either side of his waist. “This will hurt only for a moment, my sweet girl, but I promise I will make it feel good right after. Do you trust me, M’fhíorghrá?”
I nod, because I can’t yet catch my breath, and he doesn’t hesitate, slipping his thick girth between my pussy lips and positioning himself at my entrance. “Look at me as I make you mine, Phoebe,” he demands with a growl, and the minute my green eyes meet his hazel ones, he slams forward, impaling me in one go. A hoarse scream leaves my lips, as a burning, sharp pain fills my core. “God, so fucking tight, so warm.” He holds himself above me, perfectly still, as his massive cock fills me to the brink, and stretch es me the way I have never dreamed of, as my body fills with tension. My whole body teeters off a cliff, pain mixing with pleasure in an accumulation of everything I have ever wanted, and was too afraid to reach for. After what feels like endless minutes, the pain begins to subside, and instead, I’m filled with a dull ache. My core clenches down tightly around the intrusion, and he groans, his neck straining, and the veins protruding on its strong, thick surface. I get the urge to reach up and lick each one, wanting to bite and mark him like he did me. “Are you good, Phoebe?” He grits between clenched teeth, and I can see how his body vibrates with the need to move within me. If I am being honest, I desperately need him to move too. I squeeze down on him and lift my pelvis, trying to force him to thrust into me.
My arms snake around his neck, forcing his mouth back down to mine. “Fuck me, and don’t be gentle. I won’t break, Aiden,” I whisper against his lips. “Fuck, Phoebe, you’re perfect for me.” He doesn’t hesitate, pulling back almost to the tip and slamming inside of me, again and again with force. The sound of my wetness is lewd and loud in the space, when the only other sound is our heavy breathing, and my mewling. Our skin slams together, his pelvis grinding down on my needy clit every time he bottoms out inside of me, and his heavy testicles slapping against the flesh of my asscheeks. “Mine. Always,” he gasps, as his movement starts to get choppy, and his fingers find their way between our bodies, and to my needy clit. “Come for me, baby, as I fill this pretty cunt with my cum.”
I can feel the stirrings of my orgasm rising, my body wired tightly. My sharp fingernails dig into the back of his neck and shoulder, as my head tips back, and I let go with a scream.
I bolt upright in bed, a cry ripping from my lips, as tears slide down my face, and my thick hair tangles around me in a sweaty mess. I glance around with glazed eyes, at first not seeing where I am, and reaching for Aiden, but only em pty air greets me on the disorderly bed. My chest rises and falls erratically, as if I have been running a marathon in my sleep, instead of having vivid sexual dreams of the first, and only, time I was ever with Aiden, with any man. The night he took my virginity.
The next morning, in fear of the possible repercussions to him, I ran like a scared lamb, from him and my family, using every resource that my family had to make me disappear. I stole money from our family safe, enough to make it as far away as I could from Chicago, and bought myself a new identity, all while everyone waited for a blushing virginal bride in a church. I drag my hands down my face, wiping away all the tears, as even more pour out of me. I’ve had one perfect moment in my life, just one, and it haunts me over and over again. My heart calls out for him, even though it knows we can never go back, and I can never be with him.