Chapter Eleven
Millie
I’m severely regretting my decision right now. I wipe my sweaty palms across my blue jean-clad legs, hoping like hell it’s enough to absorb the crazy amount of moisture coming out of my hands but I don’t think it’s doing much good. I’m too dang nervous.
When Rowan asked me to dinner it was an easy yes.
I want to spend more time with him and the hotdog we got during one of the intermissions at the game wasn’t enough to hold me over.
I probably burned it off within the first thirty minutes of trying to learn how to skate and failing miserably.
So on top of not wanting the night to end, I’m starving as well.
What I failed to realize was that I was also saying yes to meeting his friends. When he casually threw in an oh yeah, my friends are going to be at the place we are going. Is that okay? All I could manage to get out was a squeaky yes before I could think better of my poor decision-making skills.
It’s not Rowan or meeting his friends that I’m nervous about. It’s the fact that I’m going to be surrounded by my peers with absolutely no experience talking to people my age. My upbringing was very sheltered and skewed because of how medically fragile I was.
Give me a forty-two-year-old nurse or sixty-year-old doctor and I could talk to them all night about all kinds of things. Put a fresh-faced twenty-year-old in front of me, though? I’ll clam up like my butt cheeks do when I’m not sure if it’s a fart or a shart.
I’m seriously not kidding.
Rowan has been the exception and even then, I find myself wanting to crawl under my bedsheets and never come out again from all the random and dorky things that seem to come out of my mouth when I’m around him.
But he’s never been judgmental or made fun of me which has only encouraged me to be myself around him.
If it was just a friend or two, I think I might be more comfortable and not look like a total dumbass but it’s not. It’s the whole crew, his words, not mine.
I didn’t know how to tell him that I changed my mind.
That I didn’t want to go to dinner with him after all which is how I find myself being led into a cozy diner just off the highway that looks like it serves the best homemade chocolate and vanilla milkshakes.
A big neon blinking sign is plastered across the front that says open.
Rowan’s hand grazes the small of my back as he opens the full glass door. I work to suppress the shiver his touch elicits. A little bell above the door sounds at our entry. I hear them before I see them. A chorus of, “cap’s finally here!” and “It’s about damn time,” greets us.
When I finally get enough courage to look up from my feet I realize it’s way more than just the few friends I was expecting. My palms manage to grow even clammier.
His “crew” takes up the whole back half of the diner.
There’s ten of them! Ten! I know because I counted them.
Twice! My legs stop moving on their own accord.
My heart pounds in my chest and I think I feel a little dizzy.
Shit. I’m sure I look like a freaking deer in headlights right now and that’s exactly how I feel.
Caught in a bright light with nowhere to run and danger up ahead.
I feel his fingertips graze across the small of my back before his breath whispers across my ear. “I promise they don’t bite.”
I work to keep my mouth as still as possible as I whisper out, “I don’t know if I told you this but I’m super awkward in social settings.”
His soft chuckle helps to ease a little of the tension growing in my chest. “You don’t say.”
I huff, something between a half laugh, half cough comes out. “This is all your fault.”
His chuckle isn’t as soft anymore. He stands up straight and throws his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. “How so?” he asks as he starts leading me towards the table.
“I cannot be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth tonight.”
“And I should be?” he asks with mirth.
“I just want to make sure you know, in case you try to change your mind and not be friends with me after this. This is your fault.”
“Just be yourself and they will love you.”
My nose scrunches up, “Everyone always says that, but they don’t mean it.”
He turns his head towards me. His voice soft and sincere, “Well, I mean it.”
My heart warms and the nervous flutters in my belly finally settle just a bit. Before I can respond we reach the table.
I feel ten pairs of eyes swivel our way and my nerves kick right back up.
“Who’s your friend, Rowan?” a pretty brunette with glasses and a kind smile asks.
“Guys, this is Millie. Millie these are the knuckleheads I call my friends. That’s Lily and her boyfriend Luka, who also happens to be my BFF—”
“I thought I was your best friend!” a guy on the other side of the booth interrupts.
Rowan rolls his eyes and chuckles, “In your dreams Wyatt boy.” Rowan dramatically clears his throat. “I was saying that’s Luka, my best friend and certified homeboy. Next to him is Beau, Nash, Tessa, Lennon, Aiden and finally Stella and Wyatt, who so rudely interrupted me.”
He keeps an easy smile on his face, but I don’t miss how his body tenses up next to mine. His arm is still draped casually over my shoulders but his fingers dig into my skin.
I lift one hand up and push my fingers together slightly bending my hand and wave.
I feel his chin graze the top of my forehead as he leans his head down towards me and whispers, “Are you giving them the princess wave?”
Shit! I am! What is wrong with me? I groan, and respond just loud enough for him to hear. “I told you I suck at this.”
“Should I start calling you Princess Daredevil?”
I suck in a sharp breath. “Don’t you dare.”
He really laughs then, some of the earlier tension leaves his body. I can tell because he no longer has a death grip on my freaking arm. I don’t know what that’s all about, but I’ll have to make sure I ask him later.
I don’t think it’s about me being here because his tone and easygoing vibe didn’t change until he introduced Stella or was it Stacy? And Wyatt? I internally huff, I’m going to need a flow chart to keep up with all these people.
“I kind of like it.”
He pulls over a chair from a neighboring table and places it in an empty spot on the giant makeshift table his friends are at. He gestures for me to sit as he turns around and grabs another chair for himself, putting it right next to mine.
It’s oddly quiet around the table as everyone watches us sit. I feel my skin start to itch from the attention. It’s difficult to keep my body from going into panic mode.
I suddenly feel a warm hand grasp mine and I feel his breath whisper across my ear once again. “Say the word and we can leave.”
I gulp and shake my head. I don’t want to force him to leave when we just got here. These are his friends, his people, and even if I’m scared and uncomfortable I want to get to know them. I want to stay.
I take a small but deep breath. “I’m okay, I promise.” I smile, it’s tentative but true.
I’ve faced way scarier things in life. Situations that were life or death. This is nothing compared to those moments. I make my smile bigger and work to release the tension in my shoulders.
“We are so happy to have you join us, Millie!” The brunette that spoke first says. I think her name is Lily.
“Thanks, I’m happy to be here," I say, shyly as I push a lock of my curly brown hair behind my ear.
The table seems to go back to surveying the menus. Less interested in the new person at the table.
Rowan clears his throat and pushes a menu in front of me. I notice that he doesn’t take one for himself. “You already know what you are getting?”
He casually throws his arm around the back of my chair, spreading his legs wide as he settles more comfortably in the chair. His leg brushes against mine in the most delish way.
“Yep. I always get the same thing here.”
I flip through the menu, noticing it’s way more eclectic than I originally assumed. There’s a little something for everyone. My mouth waters at all the possibilities. “How could you just pick one thing and never try something new? It all sounds so good.”
“I like what I like.”
“What if you like something better and you’ve been missing out this whole time?” I ask as I look over to him. He’s watching me intently. His eyes dilate as soon as they connect with mine. My heart starts to race just from the way he’s looking at me.
“That’s the thing though, I don’t feel like I’m missing out.”
“That’s just because you don’t know any better.”
“Maybe I do know better and it’s the safer choice.” His body shifts towards mine, lighting my nerve endings on fire just from his proximity.
I lick my lips and watch as his eyes follow the movement. “Safe? I think life should be about taking risks, trying new things.” I know what it’s like to have to play it safe and I never want to have to go back there again.
“Maybe, that’s where we’re different, Daredevil. I like what I can predict.” His mood suddenly shifts to something darker and more contemplative. I feel like we aren’t talking about the menu anymore.
“Where’s the fun in that?” I whisper. I feel like we’re in our own little bubble even though we’re sitting at a crowded table with all of his friends. His breath is still just a whisper across my cheek, so close that if I leaned forward our noses would touch.
“It isn’t always about fun. Sometimes it’s about knowing what to expect.”
“We aren’t talking about food right now, are we?”
“No, Daredevil, we aren’t.” His eyes soften, right before he leans back into his chair, his leg still touching mine.
“Rowan! Cap, where you been at?” The question bursts the makeshift bubble we created. Suddenly the sounds from the table infiltrate my ears, making me painfully aware we are in front of an audience.
“Been right here, Nash.” Rowan answers, casually.
“No, you haven’t. We barely see you anymore on the weekends. Where you running off to?” Nash continues to probe.