Chapter Seventeen #2
He leaves his question hanging, probably because I’m staring at him like a damn deer caught in headlights. My brain isn’t commuting because I’m pretty sure he short circuited it when he leaned in like he was going to kiss me.
I’m such an idiot.
I force myself to concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth. “Hungry?” I repeat, “No, no. I’m not hungry.”
He watches me for a moment before his eyes return to the road. “You sure?”
“Yep!” My voice comes out all high pitched and squeaky.
I’m not sure if this could get any worse. Just breathe, Millie. He doesn’t know that you wanted him to kiss you. Just play it cool and this will all be a distant memory, something you can laugh about when you’re old and grey.
I close my eyes and take a cleansing breath before trying again.
“I’m sure. I already ate too. So where are we going?
” There see, easy peasy. No need to act like a bumbling idiot with a massive crush on the hot guy that probably looks at you more like a sister than girlfriend material. I can do this.
“Where did you say we are going?” I ask to distract myself from thinking about kissing Rowan Pierce.
I look over and my core warms instantly.
We’re at a stop light and instead of looking forward, his eyes are trained on me.
I slam my eyes shut, trying to imagine him as some ugly orc, or maybe a clown with a giant nose.
Anything to stop the warmth spreading through my body when he looks at me like that.
Like he wants me.
I feel the truck start to move forward when he finally answers me. “I didn’t. Have you ever been to a college party?”
My eyes slowly open, I’m careful to keep my gaze forward and on the road. “No.”
“Is it on your list?”
I chuckle because I truly had never thought about it until now.
“No, but maybe it should be.” Suddenly inspiration strikes.
Maybe the best way to stop thinking about kissing Rowan Pierce is to find another boy to fantasize over.
“Will there be lots of—” I clear my throat, I can’t just straight up ask if there will be hot guys there. Right? Right. “People there?”
“Should be a decent crowd.” He looks over at me, the most adorably confused look on his face. “Why? You worried or scared? Because you know I would never let anything happen to you, you know that right?”
There my heart goes, turning all gooey again. “Yes,” I whisper, more affected by his show of protection than I should be.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
His eyebrows pull together in disbelief. “Really? Because your face is all pinched and you look uncomfortable.”
My mouth snaps closed in dismay. “Does my face really look pinched?” I work to smooth out my features.
He laughs good-naturedly. “I might have exaggerated. But you do look a little nervous.”
“I’m not nervous. I’m excited— I think.”
He chuckles and that elicits a laugh out of me, “Okay, okay. Maybe I’m a little nervous. I’ve never really been around a bunch of hot guys. Except for the dinner the other night with your friends.” When I’m nervous I tend to babble and that’s exactly what’s happening right now.
He stiffens slightly and turns his head towards me. “You think my friends are hot?”
Oh no. Is it like a faux pas to talk about your friend’s friends being hot? I so freaking suck at this. “No?”
“Are you asking me?” he asks, astonished, his tone is a lot higher pitched than normal.
“Yes? No? Maybe?” There I go squeaking again.
“I’m so confused.”
“I’m sorry,” I laugh awkwardly. “Hot guys make me nervous sometimes. I just want to prepare myself.”
His shoulders finally relax a little as he turns down another street. I know we’re getting closer to Hart U.
“Do I make you nervous?” he asks, carefully.
I pucker my lips as I think about his question.
It kind of feels like a trick question. If I say no I’m inadvertently admitting I don’t think he’s hot which would be a lie but also do I want to tell on myself like that?
I already feel silly enough before basically admitting I think he’s hot, only for him to not reciprocate any of those same feelings.
So I settle with a compromise, “You used to.”
Now it’s his turn for his lips to pucker. “But I don’t anymore?”
“Not as much because I’m more comfortable around you now.”
Now his eyebrows pull together. “You were uncomfortable around me when we first met?”
“No,” I laugh, “I’m screwing this all up. I’m just saying sometimes it’s hard for me to make friends my own age. I get nervous and ramble and I just don’t want to embarrass you around your friends. I feel like dinner was a fail and this might be even worse.”
“You could never embarrass me, Millie.” His tone is dead ass serious.
“You say that now, that is until my Vanna White impression comes out,” I sing song.
He chuckles, “I still crack up thinking about you and bingo.”
“Ah! See, my awkwardness knows no bounds.”
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I think you’re endearing and there was nothing embarrassing about you the other night.
My friends love you," he reassures me as he pulls down a street with row after row of what looks like frat and sorority houses.
Some are in better shape than others but all of them have that same feel.
I blush at his compliment, then look out the window as he parks his truck on the side of the street. There are cars everywhere, piled into the driveway and dotting both sides of the street for as far as I can see.
This must be what they would call a frat row. A term I’ve recently become acquainted with from some rather fun books I’ve picked up lately. I suddenly have an insatiable desire to read college hockey romances.
And I’ll never admit to the fact that Rowan Pierce has anything to do with my sudden infatuation. At least out loud.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I’m suddenly more nervous than ever. Maybe this is a bad idea.
He turns off the truck and turns to look at me. My belly swims when his eyes meet mine and he says, “One thousand percent positive. Are you ready?”
I pull in a deep breath and tell myself to be brave.
This is a part of letting go of the old me and embracing the new life I’ve been given.
I want to take chances, push myself outside of my comfort zone, but most of all I want to make as many memories as possible with the handsome but sometimes sad boy next to me.
Something tells me those are going to be some of my best memories. No matter how short or long Rowan Pierce is in my life. I don’t want to miss any of it.
“Ready.”