Chapter 5
“Ahouse?” I asked dumbfounded.
“A house. The beautiful fixer-upper downtown. That really old one right off Main Street and Perrin Avenue,” Olivia said, her voice swoony like she’d fallen in love.
Mom’s eyes lit. “I love that house. A lot of people have thought about buying it. The girl, Katie, who owns Coffees and Commas, almost bought it right before she got married and one of the women in book club?—”
“How do you just…buy a house?” I asked, still dumbfounded.
“This house on Perrin was a big topic during the historical society meeting this morning?—”
“Oh, I forgot you had that meeting today! How was it?” Mom asked as she poured herself another mug of coffee.
“Well, she bought a house at it, apparently,” I guffawed.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, obviously picking up on my mood. “The meeting was great. I should’ve joined sooner. But, as I was saying, the house was brought up. Everyone talked about what a piece of history it is and how it should be treated with its inherent value. And,” she took a deep breath, all starry-eyed, “something stirred in me the minute the house was mentioned. I felt a longing to own my own little piece of history, a place of my own to care for and treasure. People pulled out pictures and it was perfect. A mess, but perfect.”
“I need to see these pictures, Olivia.” Mom did a happy little dance while she said this, mug in hand. She and I were obviously having very different reactions to Olivia’s news.
“This was all brought up because the seller’s agent, Bethany, was at the meeting. She’s obsessed with Sweet River history. She happened to be sitting right by me. We wound up talking and I admitted how I wished I could just buy up that house…She asked me, ‘Well, why not?’”
I nodded wordlessly. Mom placed a hand to her chest as if invested in a gripping story.
“Then Bethany offered to walk down and see it with me. It was love, guys, the minute I opened that door. She walked me through what actually went into buying the house. How it’s a great price, but it’s a big project which is what scares people off. But I thought…I don’t mind a big project. Maybe I could use a big project. I’m on my own, I’ve got the time, and I’ve saved up the money. Why not? Like, really, why not?”
“Why not?” my mom repeated like she was at a pep rally.
“Honestly, it spun out from there. She walked me through putting in the offer and she called the couple. We talked through everything…and they accepted it right there on the spot!!” She clapped. “Bethany’s walking me through everything.”
“Well, we need to go see it!” Mom said, walking toward the door. “Let’s go over right now.”
Mom and Olivia started reaching for their bags, but I remained still. I was in some kind of shock.
Olivia is leaving me,I kept thinking like I did when I was fifteen watching my big sister leave me behind for college. I knew it was a normal part of adulthood and good for her, but I was still left behind.
“You comin’, Luce?” Olivia’s tone was gentle.
I didn’t want to ruin this moment by asking what about me, or our rent, or our place. Olivia was floating out the door on pure elation, so I nodded quietly and grabbed my bag.
Olivia offered to drive, so we climbed into her cherry-red Kia Rio. Mom sat in the passenger seat as the two chatted through all the logistics and details. I watched the city fly by the back window. I rolled it down and let the warm air blow through my hair. I closed my eyes for a moment.
“You’ll like him, Lucy.” My mom’s voice broke through my moment of serenity.
“I’ll like who?” I rolled up the window.
“Her son, Victor,” she said slowly, as if she was repeating herself. “Your date.”
“Um, I think I missed something.” I leaned my head between the two front seats. “Tell me about my…date?”
“Well, how much did you miss, Lucy? My goodness, your kids grow up and they still tune you out,” Mom chastised me.
“I last heard something about escrow,” I squeaked apologetically. “In my defense, the window being down is very loud.”
“Mom set you up on a blind date for Friday night with this Victor guy,” Olivia said then hit her blinker.
“He’s so handsome and has a great job. I think he’s in construction or something. He’s the son of Linda, my old friend from church.”
“How old is he?” I asked hesitantly.
“26. Your exact age. That’s what gave us the idea to set you two up.”
“Mom, don’t you think you should’ve asked me first? Like, shot me a text and asked if I was free on Friday? If I was even interested in dating?”
“Next time, sweetie, I’ll text you first. But I felt like that would ruin the fun of the surprise.”
“I cannot believe I have a date on Friday.” My stomach dropped. Everything in my life felt like it was being shuffled around like a deck of cards and I was praying I wasn’t going to get a losing hand.
“Since it’s been so long?” Olivia quipped.
“No! Because this guy didn’t even ask me out…my mom did.” I covered my face with my hands.
We all broke into laughter.
“He’s cute! I’ve seen him on Facebook over the years,” Mom assured me. “I’m sure you know Linda’s family and just don’t realize it.”
“Have you seen him recently?” I asked. “Didn’t you ask Linda to show you?”
“No, no, I trust her.” Mom reached behind and patted my hands as they rested on my knees, all scrunched up against the front seat.
The house was beautiful with a wide, open front porch and shady pecan trees hanging overhead. Olivia gave us the tour and somehow Bethany was back over to give us the pitch for the place.
Mom was sold easily. Mom is always sold easily on anything that makes her girls happy. I had grown up always quietly questioning everything while my mom clapped and cheered along. I was the self-appointed henchman, bodyguard, and undercover spy for my mom and sisters. I was also the solver to the questionable situations they found themselves in. They might feel stuck or consider staying put, but I would already be drawing up the maps on how to get them out.
This was my role. My love language. Probably also a frustrating Lucy trait that got on their nerves.
I didn’t need to be searching for escape routes for Olivia as often as I did for Gracie and my mom, but then again, Olivia apparently randomly bought houses now. Gorgeous, but incredibly rundown houses.
Who does that?
I reminded myself to uncross my arms and smile along as Olivia and Bethany told us what could be done to this place.
Olivia and my mom wound up in the backyard to discuss landscaping while Bethany sent off a text in the kitchen as I mindlessly looked through the cabinets. She finished on her phone dropped it in her back pocket, then headed toward the back door when I trapped her in the dining room and rattled off a long list of questions. She had all the answers. She seemed as big a believer in the bones of this place as Olivia.
“It’s a match made in heaven,” she said as she gave me a little smile. “But I have sisters, too. I know you’ve got to do your due diligence.”
The three of them gathered in the backyard, but I found a spot on the front porch. I wrapped my arms around my knees and looked out at the driveway.
I could see it. All our cars lined up here. Olivia covered in soil as she gardened in the back. The dog she’s been talking about getting for years napping on this very porch. Helping her decorate this house for trick or treaters.
I could see it. She was like a lead in a story and this would be the first pages.
Later that night it was just us two again, Olivia and me, side by side in the kitchen.
“You have to try this ginger sesame cucumber salad I made the other day. We can put it with salmon and rice or something. You’d be proud of me,” Olivia said as she pulled things out of the fridge.
This was the way it had been with us for years—evenings in the kitchen playing music and throwing together dinner. I was often the chef and Olivia the sous chef.
I hadn’t ever stopped to notice how fun this time was. Or how fleeting. Now it was like I was watching something precious circle the drain.
“What’s up?” she asked, her eyes narrowed in concern with a bag of red peppers in her hand. She set them down. “Lucy?”
I couldn’t stop the tears from pooling in my eyes. I sniffled. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s make the salad.”
“Come on,” Olivia said. “You’ve been acting funny since I told you about the house.”
“I want…” I took in a shaky breath. “I want to be happier for you. I do. I’m also just sad for me.”
“I know,” Olivia said. “I could tell. I’m sorry you’re sad.”
“I don’t want to be. But I don’t know, it was so impulsive and fast that you didn’t talk to me beforehand. Now I’m left without my roommate, your share of the rent, and I know you don’t owe me?—”
“I do owe you. I was planning on sitting down and talking through all the rent stuff. I am not going to leave you high and dry.”
“I trust you. I do. I knew you wouldn’t have just abandoned me. I guess I sort of felt abandoned in my heart even if my mind knew it wasn’t true. And I think I could shoulder rent on my own. That was always the eventual plan.”
“It was.” She nodded.
“I’m in shock. Just one day, out of the blue, you have this big old house.” I circled my hand as if indicating something appearing out of thin air.
“Was it that out of the blue, though? You know this was my dream.” Olivia shook her head as if shaking off the notion this was some random decision. “I know it was impulsive. But you know I had been saving up for a house for years. Ryan and I had been planning on getting married and buying an old fixer-upper, and man, I was dreaming of that life. Then…”
I rubbed her shoulder.
“Well, you know. It all fell apart. I lost him and then I lost that dreamy future with an old fixer-upper. I had to lose him, I know that now. But then I was sitting in that meeting and all I could think was: why did I have to lose that dreamy future? I was the one saving up. I was the one working for that dream.”
I hadn’t thought about that. I had known and overheard since we were roomies many of their late-night talks about their big plans. I had seen how meticulously Olivia was saving and working for that dream. Her dream.
When they broke up, she was broken. It was a gut punch. She had so much faith in them, in him, in that future.
I hadn’t realized how much she was mourning her could’ve been. But why couldn’t it still be? At least the parts she could still have.
“So, when there was this perfect opportunity just sitting right beside me—it felt like fate. Like something clicked. Like God gave me a little nudge.” Her green eyes were twinkling.
“I get that. I shouldn’t have rained on your parade,” I said quickly.
“I appreciate my defense squad of one.” Olivia smiled at me. “And I’ll miss this.” She gestured to the kitchen.
“Me too.” I broke into a cry again. We embraced, both shaking with little sobs. One dream began and one dream, that I never even realized was a dream until I was being shaken awake, came to an end.
I had been Olivia’s defense squad since our dad left. Gracie was a one-year-old, I was only five, and then there was eight-year-old Olivia.
She cried a lot after he left and I would hug her tight, trying to make her laugh.
She’d whisper as we lay side by side in bed, “Why doesn’t he miss us?”
And I’d say fiercely in my small voice, “I don’t miss him.”
She’d ask, “Were we too much?”
And I’d shake my head no. “We’re perfect,” I’d say. To me, we were.
I cried when he left, too, but the impact and all it meant for us didn’t click for me until I was older. By then I was angry and protective of our little girl crew of four, five if you included Grandma. I hated the idea anyone could ever join our group and make us cry again, question ourselves, or hurt us. I always had my antenna up, in defense mode.
Even now, to me, we still were perfect and worth protecting.
I couldn’t stop everything. Ryans are inevitable, right? But I could hug my sister and let her go get her happiness, even if it wasn’t in the room next to mine anymore. Who knows, I thought as she started talking about her plans for the house, maybe it’s about time I do the same.