Chapter 12
Adam
Check your email. I got a research project for us.
Early one morning the following week, Adam forwarded me a marketing email for a nearby town’s summer festival happening that day.
Adam
Lucy, in the name of research, we need to go get lemonade and ice cream.
Me
For the sake of research, I’m in.
He came and picked me up an hour later and off we went to the Bradberry Summer Kick Off Festival. I tucked into the front seat of his car wearing a cream, linen crop top and shorts, my red hair a loose braid down my shoulder. He, as usual, was in slacks and a button-down, dressed for work.
Well, this is work,I reminded myself.
Work that involved icy strawberry lemonade and laughing hysterically at the petting zoo while learning that Adam was terrified of goats. Work that involved the hot sun bright over us in the sky and Adam rolling his sleeves up his forearms. I looked away professionally, not noticing any lean muscles, at all. The body of a swimmer, hadn’t Olivia said?
“I like the flow they set up here,” he said as we walked Bradberry’s downtown streets later that morning.
“I know. It’s so easy to find what you’re looking for,” I agreed. “Part of it is the signage.” I pointed up toward one of the many street maps they had posted. “We could do something more like that.”
“That and how they divided up by theme,” he added. He pulled out his phone and jotted down these ideas in one of our shared notes.
During the research trip, many of our conversations were professional chats about how to best run the festival. We bounced ideas off each other like any two coworkers would.
But there were these other moments, too. Ones that felt less like work and more like it did when we were wandering the office in the dark.
It was hard for today to feel like work. I mean, we were at an adorable festival straight out of a Hallmark movie. There was ice cream, cotton candy, and carousels.
After we had lunch, we walked right by the carousel set up on the lawn in front of Bradberry City Hall.
“I’ve never been on one of those, you know,” I mentioned casually, walking past the pastel carousel.
“What?” Adam stopped, like this was pace-stopping information. He pointed at it. “Never been on a carousel? How?”
“You know we don’t have one at our Sweet River festival.” I tried to get us to keep walking by taking a few steps, but Adam stayed frozen in place. I couldn’t imagine our festival big enough to boast rides like this one.
“There are other opportunities to ride a carousel, though,” he argued. “Circuses, amusement parks, even some city parks.”
“Believe it or not, Adam, there were a lot of things higher up on my list of life goals,” I pulled on his wrist to try and get him to keep moving.
“But see, getting you to ride one is now at the very top of mine.” His eyes glimmered with challenge.
“And this is how people deal with so much failure, aiming for things that will never ever happen for them.” I walked on again without him.
He ran up beside me. “The line for the carousel is nonexistent since people are going to lunch. This is the perfect time. It’s like God himself timed it so you could easily ride?—”
“Adam, I am in my late twenties. I am not going to take a child’s spot on that carousel,” I said stubbornly. His playful energy was contagious like we couldn’t help but find a game to play just between the two of us.
“Look.” He spun me around on my heels, his hands warm and strong on my bare shoulders. “There are empty horses. You won’t be taking any child’s spot…it’s open for you.”
I was trying hard to resist. “Come on, I wanted to check out their ice cream options.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. “I will ride on it with you,” he said valiantly.
“I see you’re stubborn with more than work,” I moaned for show like I was throwing the ball back in his court, hoping he’d throw it back to me.
“My debate coach used to call me Dumbo because trying to get me to budge was like trying to get a big ole elephant to move. It wasn’t going to happen without a ton of manpower.”
“Funny, because you will absolutely not get me to budge.” I gave him a big smile.
He cocked his head, his eyes mischievous and thoughtful. “You’re scared?”
“What?” I stopped walking, crossing my arms. “What makes you think I’m scared?”
“Just like you were scared the other day in my office. Something about this carousel scares you, huh? Is it a control thing?” He was grinning down at me.
I narrowed my eyes. I knew this stubborn man was trying to mess with my mind, but I couldn’t resist proving him wrong—even if he already knew he was. I twirled around and marched toward the carousel.
“I’m not scared,” I hissed. He ran after me giddy with laughter.
He reached for my arm and then spun me toward him a little too quickly until I was slammed against him, my hands landing on his warm chest. The expression on his face said he had forgotten until this very moment that this was a “research project” for work, too. His mouth fell open in surprise. Part of me could easily imagine a different reality where this was so much more than a work trip. Where my hands could be on him on purpose instead of by accident. I swallowed and stepped back. But I could still feel him on me like an imprint.
There we were in front of a pastel and sparkly children’s ride.
“I’ll come with you so you’re not too scared,” Adam said low with a wink. His hand slipped into mine leading me through the gate, then his hands were on my waist as he lifted me onto one of the carousel horses. I tried to stop noticing every single touch, but it was as if any collision between his body and mine was combustive.
He hopped on a horse beside me. This grown man in his slacks riding a tiny pony made me break into a grin.
I always saw things through to the 105 percent mark. I committed to the project, the person, the bit with my all. And Adam seemed that way, too. He kept up with me—quite literally running beside me, enjoying every second of it.
The song started, the carousel lurched to life, and we were slowly twirling in circles.
Adam beamed proudly. “Ah, Lucy, you’re doing it!”
“A dream finally realized, thanks to you.” I looked out at the downtown alive around us under the afternoon sunshine.
“I get my to-do lists done. You know that about me.”
“An admirable work ethic.” I turned back to him as my pony rose above his. “You know I wasn’t scared.”
He was grinning up at me, devilishly smug.
I shook my head at him, knowingly, and he grinned wider.
“I need ice cream,” Adam said as we stumbled off the ride and back onto the sidewalk pavement.
After that, the work part of this trip was fully forgotten.
“You need homemade peach ice cream. It’s a delicacy in these parts,” I said, my Texan accent heavy. I reached for his hand and dragged him toward an ice cream booth I had seen earlier.
We both got big scoops of peach ice cream. It was so hot the ice cream was melting off our spoons. I brushed a sweaty curl off my face. “How are you liking your new job?”
“It’s been nice, except for this new coworker who fights me every step of the way. From trying to steal my job to little things like carousel rides,” he teased.
I playfully bumped my shoulder into his after the faux dig. He pushed back into me.
“Sounds to me like the job has just gotten better since she came around,” I said before I took a big bite of ice cream, sugary and sweet.
“Definitely the most exciting I’ve ever found work,” he said, the corners of his mouth perked up with a hint of a smile.
“You said you jump around jobs a lot.” I tapped my spoon against my mouth and his eyes landed there. “Do you think you’ll stick around here for a while?”
“I don’t know. For someone who likes to-do lists and plans, I actually kind of take the job thing as it comes.” He shrugged. “So, we’ll see how it plays out.”
“Do you think you’ll always bounce around or one day you’ll be done with that transient, bachelor life and stay put somewhere?” I asked in a joking tone, but his eyes were intent as he listened to me.
“I think if I ever found a place that feels like mine, I’d probably stay put,” he answered.
“What would make a place feel like yours?” I couldn’t resist asking the questions I hadn’t realized were in the back of my mind.
“I’m waiting to find that out myself.” He licked the back of his spoon.
The air between us felt electrified. My skin was buzzing like there was a secret current running under everything. Something combustive was underlying all our interactions since I first walked into his office.
He shot me a sideways grin as we kept walking. “Lucy, Lucy,” he said like I was something he was puzzling.
“Yeah?” I asked, my arm brushing against his.
He opened his mouth to answer me. But then, his phone rang and we both woke up.
He stepped aside to answer the call, so I threw my ice cream cup away and tried to remind myself that Adam and I already had a sensitive dynamic between us. Whatever was happening right now with me bumping into his shoulder and looking at his forearms was dangerous and dumb.
This was not some giddy first date.
I didn’t trust Adam, right?I reminded myself. My defenses should be up at all times.
I couldn’t even blame any cocktails this time.
He walked back over to me. His hand grazed the back of my arm casually, comfortably, as he asked, “You ready to head back?”
I only nodded, dizzy and confused, like I’d been walking around in a dream and was trying to shake myself awake.
Our conversations were easy in a way that loosened me up. Our back and forth was confoundingly smooth as I tried to cling to the fact that I’d already made up my mind about him. Like the chemistry between us was rushing water I couldn’t grab hold of, couldn’t reign in. It slipped right out of my hands. It had an agenda of its own.
I still tried to hold it back, though. I tried to resist the flowing conversation and whatever I was feeling the whole drive home.
Adam didn’t seem to try at all.
Icouldn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned, analyzing every word and touch.
“I fought with this guy the moment we first met,” I said to Stevie, who was also not sleeping. She was chasing a little mouse toy around my bedroom floor.
I kicked off my blankets. “He’s the guy who saw everything I did wrong with the festival. He’s the guy who wanted to brush me off from the start.”
I sat up in my bed. Stevie perked her head up at me. “I am completely overthinking this, aren’t I?”
Stevie leaped after her mouse again, ignoring me.
It was nothing,I thought. Yesterday meant nothing.The night he let me into the office meant nothing. I was making mountains out of molehills. I hadn’t dated in years, so I was taking some new friendly banter the wrong way.
I’m reading more into every detail because I’ve been starved of flirtation for years, I thought bitterly.
Adam was probably sleeping fine. He would raise his eyebrows in that judgmental way of his if he knew I was panicking over our interactions yesterday.
“How’re you doing?” he asked me in the car when I went quiet on the drive home from the festival.
“Just tired,” I said, watching the grassy green fields out the window.
“Ah, did the sun take it out of you?” he asked, his voice casual. “Sugar crash from the ice cream?”
“Total sugar crash,” I said, resting the back of my head against the seat. I closed my eyes like I was going to take a nap or something, anything to halt our conversation.
I could hear him rustle from his driver’s seat. I peeked through my squinted eyelids and realized he was checking on me. His eyes on me were concerned, caring even.
And the kindness of that felt dangerous and confusing.
Now I was in my kitchen in the middle of the night, pouring myself a glass of water and trying to sort out my feelings. Hoping if I figured them out, I could reason myself out of them.
Adam is just not what I thought at first and it’s confused me a little,I decided. And maybe in an alternate reality…
No.
I wouldn’t let myself finish that thought.