Chapter 22
Adam and I relied solely on emails—work emails—for days. I was deprived of the funny texts and FaceTime calls.
Curled up at my kitchen table in my vintage Bella Donna tour tee shirt, my hair a wild mess, staring at my laptop, I willed my phone to send me some scrap of Adam.
I had called the Lims and it didn’t make any difference. We moved on. Adam and the team had a good financial plan and we secured new sources of funding. We were fine. Work was smoothed out. My heart and mind, on the other hand, were wrinkled messes.
I had feelings for Adam. That was undeniable. And he had feelings for me, too, if I was reading the signs right. But, over these quiet Adam-less days, doubts and questions were popping up while I typed up a report or worked on marketing pieces.
Had I scared Adam away?
Ruined our shot?
Was he going to stick around Sweet River?
I paced my kitchen after rereading one of the very professional emails from Adam, searching for any tone or implication. I knew him well enough now to know that he was probably feeling guilty and hurt over the loss of funding. Our conversation didn’t help with that. He was stressed and overworked, I reminded myself. I shouldn’t take our lack of conversation personally. He might be too busy for silly texts about Little Women.
I tried calling my mother, who was trying her darndest to enjoy her extra time off work, so she would usually put me on speakerphone as she made a cake or laid out in her newly purchased hammock, but today she didn’t answer. As the call went to voicemail, I remembered she was busy packing for her trip tomorrow.
I tried to bug Olivia, but she ignored it and sent a text informing me she was at the hardware store with Victor.
I knew better than to call Gracie. I knew her schedule and she would be in the middle of rehearsals right now.
This is dumb. I need to get out of this house. I threw on a pair of denim shorts and yanked my hair into a claw clip, heading straight to Coffees and Commas.
The smell of espresso mingling with old books wafted around me. I felt grateful for a distraction from everything. I was waiting for my turn in line when the door chimed. I glanced behind me to find Adam.
I choked on air, forgetting how to breathe for a second.
“Hello,” he said, drawing out the lo. He gave a nod as he stepped behind me in line.
“Adam,” I said. I touched the clip on my head, realizing that yes, that was how I looked right now. “I was probably going to call you today.”
“Yeah? Is everything okay on your end?” he asked, all about work.
“Well, we haven’t really spoken, beyond emails, in a few days,” I said. “It felt kind of different for us.”
“Yeah, I know. I’ve been in a time crunch over here.” He gave a shrug.
“It’s tough to do this fifty-fifty,” I pointed between the two of us, “if we’re doing everything solo. I’m here to help you.”
“You don’t have to worry about me, Lucy.” He reached out like he was going to touch my arm, but he stopped himself.
I cleared my throat. “After our last meeting, I have been worried. I’ve felt bad about our conversation. And we’ve emailed and wrapped up the work side of things…but…” We moved up in line. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, Lucy. I am.” His voice was lighter. “Thank you.”
“It might be a little late to tell you, but I know none of the Lim stuff was your fault. I realized that during our discussion, but after talking to them, it really affirmed that for me. They really like you.”
“Is that right?” He sounded nearly playful.
“Yeah, it is. They told me so. You seem to charm everyone you meet except for me,” I teased him.
“I got you to come around,” he said warmly. My chest squeezed. There was so much I still hadn’t gotten to say.
“Was that on your to-do list, Mr. Work Ethic?” I placed a hand on my hip. “Get Lucy to come around.”
“That was at the top of the list. Work in progress, it is.”
I took a deep breath. “You’re screwing up the curve.”
“Is that a teacher metaphor sneaking in?” Adam gasped dramatically, placing a hand on his chest. “A teacher compliment?”
It was almost my turn in line. I wanted to plead with the customer in front of me to please take forever to decide on their order.
I turned completely to Adam. “I know this is your first year working the festival and I haven’t made it easy on you. Then there’s a hitch with a past donor and I made you feel like you were to blame. I just…I feel awful about it. I’m so sorry.” I let it all tumble out as fast as I could.
Before he could respond, the barista called out, “Next!”
I ordered my usual. I dropped a couple of dollars in the tip jar and waited for Adam at the end of the bar. Espresso machines whirred behind the barista counter. The door chimed as customers left clutching their to-go cups.
Adam walked over beside me. The two of us waited for our orders. Lo and behold, the person behind Adam in line was Penny from the library book fair. She kept glancing at us as she made her order.
“Want to grab a table?” Adam asked.
We sat down at a table by the window. My iced coffee was ready, so I took a sip. Adam said, “Lucy, thank you for what you said.” As he was speaking so earnestly, Penny walked slowly by, caught my eye, and mouthed, “Boyfriend?”
“I feel bad about it, too,” Adam continued.
I opened my eyes wide at Penny to indicate not now. She misconstrued it, giving me a thumbs up and ducked out with her coffee.
I nodded for Adam to go on. “I hate that our last meeting was so tense. I was projecting like you’d said. I want to believe the narrative has changed, that you don’t see me as this enemy who came in and stole your festival anymore, but…I know how you think of me?—”
“No.” I put my index finger on his lips, shaking my head. “I don’t think you do. I don’t think you’re the enemy at all.”
“Not at all?” I could feel his smile forming beneath my finger. I pulled my hand away as my body buzzed.
“Well, you’re at least 90 percent there,” I said. His phone buzzed on the table. He flipped it over and read a message.
“This is important. I’ve got to grab my coffee and go. I was only supposed to be on a 10-minute break.” He started to walk away, but then stopped and said, “I can work on that last 10 percent, just you wait and see. Let’s start with a meeting. Can you come in tomorrow morning?”
Olivia and I met to go for a walk along the winding trail that runs along the river. The sun was setting soon, the air falling a few degrees. Olivia opened her passenger car door and a golden retriever puppy with floppy ears hopped out.
“Who is this?” I called out as she tried to wrangle a harness around his wiggly self.
“Winston! Victor’s puppy!”
“You’re his dog walker now,” I said with a suggestive nod.
“Victor had to go help Adam with some city management thing all day, so I offered to help. He can’t be left alone very long, yet. He’s young, hyper, and the sweetest ball of fluff,” she said the last part in a syrupy voice. “I like having him around.” She finished buckling him up and then turned to me.
“This is girlfriend behavior. You realize that, right?” I asked as we started on the trail. The river was gemstone blue with white, fluffy clouds rippled overhead, and big, shady elm trees lined the entire trail.
She shook her head vehemently. “We’re just friends.”
“Liv, he doesn’t look at you like a friend. He looks at you like?—”
“No, no, if we’re talking about non-friends, we’re talking about you and lovesick Adam!” She pointed at me accusingly.
“Okay, but I at least admit that Adam and I have something between us, whether it was against our will or not, but you…You’re in denial.”
“We’re friends and friends happen to hang out, right?” she asked casually.
“You’re hanging out every day and walking his dog.”
“He’s working on my house, that’s why we’re together daily.”
“Do most people hang out with their renovator’s dog?” Winston looked up at me, an ear raised in my direction.
“If the dog is as cute as Winston, they do.” She gave him a loving pat.
I took a deep breath. “You’re going to break this poor boy.”
She didn’t look at me. She looked out at the trail. “He knows it’s all friendly. It’s all it can be. He’s younger than me. And I know his reputation for dating around. I just…” She stopped walking. “He and I are totally opposite, anyway. I don’t know how it would work.”
“What if…” I started. But then Olivia gave me a look that made me go quiet.
We walked a few steps distracted by our own thoughts. Katie Hernandez, Victor’s older sister, and her husband Terrence strolled toward us in the opposite direction, hand in hand. They smiled warmly, asked how we were, and scratched Winston behind his ear.
“You’re walking, Winston, huh?” Katie eyed us with a question in her eyes. Olivia gave a little shrug, then joked, “Victor is helping me renovate and I’m helping him with dog walking.”
“I know Victor probably appreciates that. He’s a big fan of yours,” Katie said with a twinkle in her eye. Terrence chuckled.
I watched Olivia swallow nervously. “How’s the family, Katie? I heard Emma and Gabriel are in Austin right now and planning a wedding?” I jumped in.
“That’s right. It’s been nice having them just a drive away after all their traveling,” Katie said. Winston looped the leash around her.
“They’re actually getting married here in Sweet River if all goes to plan,” Terrence said.
“Oh my goodness, that’s such sweet news.” I clapped.
“I feel like we’ve all been waiting for this wedding to happen since grade school,” Olivia joked.
I added, “Did you hear Jordan and Sophia are expecting?”
Katie’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “How have I missed that?”
“I work with Sophia. She announced it before school break. She’s arranging her fall schedule around her maternity leave,” I said.
“Didn’t they just get married?” Olivia asked.
“They got married over Christmas. It’s not too crazy,” Katie offered.
After the chit-chat faded off and Katie and Terrence walked away, Olivia and I continued our walk.
“Do you think Mom going on this trip is a good idea?” I asked. Mom had decided to spontaneously tag along with a couple of book club friends on a backpacking trip. “It’ll be like Wild!” she said to convince me.
“Sure, why not?” Olivia shrugged.
“Mom. Backpacking. In the woods.” I emphasized each word to clarify how none of them fit together.
“She’s in her fifties. She’s a grown woman. She knows what she can and can’t handle.”
“Mom isn’t thinking. She cut back her work hours and is trying to live it up, which I’m happy about. But she could get hurt out in the wild! She could get kidnap?—”
“Lucy, come on.” Olivia rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious. I know you guys thought about having an intervention for me. I think Mom needs an intervention before she’s off in the woods tomorrow! I mean, she wouldn’t even step foot in RVs growing up. I’ve never even seen a tent in person.”
“She’s trying something new!”
“What if we talked to her friends? Maybe we could put them up with a?—”
“You are going to embarrass Mom!” Olivia stepped in front of me and put her hand up to stop me. “We are not going to intervene! She’s one of the smartest, strongest women we know. I think she’ll hate the trip, but I know she can handle it.”
“I know she’s smart and strong. I just think she doesn’t always look out for herself like she does for us,” I explained. I hated the idea that Mom didn’t have someone to look out for her.
Olivia wrapped her arm around me and pulled me in for a squeeze. “You can send her your little ‘checking in’ texts every day of her trip, okay? But we’ve got to let her live her life. She lets us, even when we’re being dumb.”
“Fine. But if she comes back with an injury…”
“Have you and Adam talked yet?” Olivia swiftly changed the subject.
“We ran into each other at Coffees and Commas earlier. It felt like we were both handling the conversation delicately,but it ended on a good note. We’re meeting tomorrow, too.” My chest swelled at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.
“Are you going to talk about the something between you two?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
I chewed on my lip. “I don’t know. I’m trying to find the right time. Also, I’m not sure where we are after he vanished on me for a few days. I want to get a read on everything.”
“Did you ask him why he vanished?”
“I mentioned it. He said he was crunched at work.”
“The festival is almost here. Only a couple of weeks away. He probably is facing a time crunch.” She winced.
I nodded. “The whole team is.”
“Plus, in his perspective, he went from you literally running off to a date with some other guy to you two sort of fighting over who was to blame for something at work. You’re over here realizing you both have feelings…and he might be feeling the exact opposite,” Olivia said, stopping to let Winston sniff a random patch of grass.
Adam, with his intention and desire to do things well and right, was probably trying to handle his feelings like he does his paperwork. Trying to get his heart and mind organized and in line. But I had stormed into his office weeks ago and thrown it into disarray.