Chapter Eighteen
My footsteps echo through the large foyer as I cross the open space, headed back toward the kitchen. My steps begin to falter as the two women who have taken me under their wing come into view. Vanna is seated at the kitchen island laughing at something Jade said while she’s cooking. Instead of joining in on the conversation, I take a seat next to Vanna. My mind still whirls from the events of this morning.
What does it say about me, that seeing the man I fell asleep with last night kill a man isn’t the part that has me flustered?
I’m not sure how long I've been sitting here before I feel a cold gentle hand clasp over mine. I look up to see a worried Jade. There was a time when the idea of being touched like this, even this little gesture, would have been a foreign concept. Now, after only a week, my eyes well with tears at the kindness from this woman.
“Nina, would you like something for breakfast?” She squeezes gently, her lips tilt down into a frown.
I wipe the unshed tears from my eyes and force as bright a smile as I can while offering a reassuring nod.
“Thank you. A cinnamon bun and a hot tea would be wonderful.” My request is met with a raised brow. My pulse begins to race as I take in her inquisitive glance. “What?”
Jade and Vanna’s eyes meet. A silent conversation passes between them.
“Hot tea? You haven’t had tea since you’ve been here. What gives, Sweetheart?” Vanna asks the question that they apparently both want to know.
I lift and drop my shoulder in a half shrug, unsure of how to explain what is going through my mind. A few moments later, my breakfast is placed before me. The two women who have been a source of comfort during this transition continue their conversation as if I’m not here. My heart rate slows as they ignore me. I’m not sure if it’s the healthiest way to cope, but after being alone for so long, I need to internally process before I can verbalize my thoughts.
My mouth waters as I take my first bite, the mixture of the sweet cream cheese icing and spicy cinnamon explode on my tongue. With my eyes closed, I allow myself to get lost in the medley of flavors. Jade added something a little different to it this time. My eyes fly open, and I find her staring at me like she’s been waiting for me to figure it out.
“What did you do?” I ask as I take another bite, not waiting for a response. Jade grins at me as I lift the steaming mug of tea to my lips and take a cautious sip.
“If you can tell I changed something so small as adding a dash of cardamom from one bite, you’re cooking dinner with me tonight, kid.” Jade chuckles and turns away, disappearing from the room for another task.
My eyes drop back down to my now empty plate. I hop down from the chair and take my dishes to the sink. When I turn around, Vanna is staring at me.
“Would you mind taking a walk with me?” My question comes out as a whisper, but her lips pull into a knowing grin.
“Of course, Dear, let’s go.” She steps down and sidles up next to me as we walk side by side to the back door. I can sense Abel and Rand behind us now without the need to glance back.
I stop at one of the large rose bushes and lean in, taking a deep breath of the beautiful floral scent. My eyes prick with confusion and joy. It’s the strangest combination of emotions. Zero out of ten, don’t recommend. I turn toward Vanna instead of continuing through the greenery, ready to rip off the proverbial band aid.
“What is it, Honey?” Vanna’s maternal nature peaks through as she pulls me into a tight embrace.
I bury my face in my hands as I gather the words and confidence to share my reason for dragging her out here.
“I don’t know what’s going on with – well anything, really.” Once I begin, the words start to tumble out, the thoughts continue much easier. “When I’m with Giovanni I feel more comfortable and at home than I’ve ever felt. Last night, you know what happened...” I pause waiting for acknowledgement which she provides in a small jerk of her head. “He forced me to stay in his room last night. I’ve never – I mean, obviously I’ve never – but I’ve never shared a room overnight with a man, let alone a bed. But I woke up and I was basically wrapped around him like a Koala on a eucalyptus tree.”
At some point during my confession, we must have begun walking again because I realize we’re approaching the gorgeous wrought-iron bench set under one of the smaller trees. She waves her hand in front of me to take a seat, our shoulders are touching as I continue to spew the word vomit at her.
“I just – I don’t understand why I feel the way I do. When he walks in the room my tummy does weird things that makes my heart stutter in my chest at the same time.” When I glance over at Vanna she’s trying and failing to hide her smile. “What? What is it?”
She shakes her head and holds a hand up in surrender. “Sweetheart, you spent a lot of time reading and watching movies when you were – well, before you came here, right?”
I nod, unsure where she’s going with this. My eyes stay locked on her as she covers her mouth trying to hide her amusement. I let out a groan and begin to stand, but she pulls me back down, her dark eyes sparkle with delight as she takes me in.
“Remember in those stories, whether it was on page or on screen, there would be couples that end up together usually sharing a kiss at the very end?” Her voice is so soft, as she tries to hold back laughter. I jerk my head in an annoyed nod. Her shoulders begin to steady as the amusement subsides and cups my face between her delicate hands. “Sweetheart, you are falling for my Giovanni.”
The headboard of Giovanni’s bed is cool on my back as I lean against it. My mind is a maze of chaos and confusion as I run through the conversation with Vanna in my mind again. Who am I kidding? It’s been playing on repeat since I made my way back into the solace of our room. Our room. I don’t even know what any of this means.
I allow myself to think back to the books I’ve read and movies I’ve watched with Cece. Jane and Stan’s sweet first crush in the old book with hearts all over the cover that I’ve read so many times the title, Fifteen, is worn off. Most recently, she had a book peeking out of her bag that I may have borrowed for the night when she wasn’t looking. It was a fun book about a female millionaire, which was different. I liked it. I wonder if I can get any more of that author’s books now. My insides were gooey after reading that.
A Walk to Remember was a beautiful story and the first time Landon and Jamie kissed I felt like my heart would explode. The tension between the two was intoxicating, I’ve wanted that since Cece allowed me to watch that movie. I mean, without the cancer, obviously.
Huh...
My lips part with a sharp gasp. Pinhead chooses that moment to climb into my lap. His tail slaps violently against me. He stands on his hind legs stretching up to my face where he butts his furry face against my chin and wraps his paws around my neck in a hug. I fold my arms around him and hold him against my chest. Tears begin to fall down my cheeks, and I take in a shaky breath.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am falling for Giovanni, and that scares the hell out of me. When I came here, my only thought was freedom. Freedom to find myself, to become the woman I’m meant to be. But what if the woman I’m supposed to be is the one at his side, helping him in his role as Capo?
A sudden knock on the bedroom door pulls me out of my thoughts. My head jerks up to see Jade standing there with her arms crossed and a wide, knowing smile on her face. The corners of her eyes crinkle with her grin as she takes me in.
“Are you ready to help me make dinner, Dear?” Jade’s gentle voice masks her joy, but it’s clear as day in her eyes. At least for me.
I chuckle and shake my head before I pull Pinhead off of my neck. He chirps in response as if to express his displeasure. When I hop off the bed and begin to cross the room, she starts back to the kitchen. I pad through the hallway, taking in the surroundings a little differently. Could I be his partner in this house? In this life? Does he even want that?
Shit, I'm getting ahead of myself. I don’t even know how to broach the subject with him.
Tears prick at the corners of my eyes when I think about telling Giovanni. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t know that I could handle losing Jade or Vanna. Not to mention Abe. He’s become such a good friend. I wipe the moisture from my cheeks as my feet hit the tile floor of the kitchen to find Jade coating the kitchen counter with a dusting of flour. I must look as confused as I feel because Jade’s eyes lock on me and she chuckles.
“Come on over here, sweet girl, I made pasta dough from scratch.” Her smile lights up the room which only seems to calm my nerves.
Placing one foot in front of the other, I cautiously approach the counter like it’s a bomb that’s about to go off. I’m not sure why, but this seems like more of a daunting task than I initially expected. When I reach the counter and peek down at the lump of pasta dough Jade begins to laugh. Her entire body vibrates with laughter as she takes me in. My skin heats with embarrassment.
Thirty minutes later we’re done cutting the noodles into shape while Jade and Vanna have been sharing stories of Giovanni growing up, which has been heartwarming to say the least.
“I remember the first time you attempted to show him around the kitchen,” Vanna teases Jade who snorts in response.
Her smile widens into a grin as the memory unfolds behind her eyes.
“Oh, you mean the time he started a fire?” Her shoulders shake with laughter as she continues. “Picture it, a six-year-old little boy with dark waves mussed after a wrestling match with my Anthony.” Jade pauses when she mentions her late husband, I instinctively reach out to take her hand. Her fingers wrap around mine as she squeezes reassuringly. “The boy had been begging me to teach him to cook for weeks. Finally, Frederico had enough and gave me his blessing to share my knowledge with the kid. I left him at the counter on a step stool to roll out the dough much like I’ve done with you, yet he decided when my back was turned to grab a missing ingredient from the fridge that he needed to play with the stove.” Jade doesn’t miss a beat and seems to revel in sharing his history with me.
My chest tightens at the imagery she paints of a young Giovanni trying to help, only to cause chaos. A smooth voice breaks through the conversation and my body stiffens.
“If I remember correctly, you are the one who left a dish towel on the range.” Giovanni chuckles darkly as he enters the room.
My gaze lifts to find him but before I can utter a greeting, Vanna stands and rushes to him. She whispers something to him and they disappear out the side door.
Jade chooses that moment to pull my attention back to her. She talks me through plating our food and guides me to the table to set our places. I hear the door open when I set Vanna and Jade’s plates in place.
He crosses the space in a fluid motion, his broad shoulders fill out his dark suit so beautifully. A crease forms between his brows as his warm chocolate gaze roams over me. I can feel him catalog every part of me that he can see, and before I know it his thumb and forefinger have my chin tilted so I’m staring up at him. Our eyes lock on one another as we gaze into each other’s souls.
“Hey, Short Stack.” Giovanni's eyes sparkle when he uses the nickname. “How was your day, Bella ?”
“Hi,” the response comes out in a whispered breath. My cheeks heat under his gaze. “It was good.” My heart stutters in my chest when he swipes this thumb against my lower lip, our eyes never tearing away from one another. After a span of I’m not sure how long and he’s satisfied with whatever he sees, he takes a step back allowing me space to breathe and regain my ability to function.
Giovanni's hand lands on the small of my back over the thin fabric of my shirt, the heat that radiates from his skin sends a jolt of electricity through my body at the simple contact. He guides me to the table, pulling out a chair for me, the one I had intended for Vanna on his right. When my glance lands on her, she jerks her head in a subtle nod.
I slide down into the seat which he pushes in gently behind me. Vanna and Jade take their seats on the other side of the table, the two of them so obviously tickled by our interaction. I want to throw my napkin at them. Is that normal? The four of us sit in silence for a few minutes while we eat. The sweet and spicy flavors mix together so perfectly in the sausage Bolognese that I let out a happy sigh.
"Fuck,” Giovanni groans, startling me. The two women across from me snort simultaneously. They actually snort. His brow furrows, his gaze turning into a glare. That is, until he looks back at me and his face softens.
I force myself to stare at my plate while I push around the food, suddenly too nervous to eat. Jade and Vanna are speaking softly to one another while we sit there finishing our meal, or while they finish their meal. I bring a fork full to my lips, knowing that if I don’t force myself to eat a little more, I’ll hate myself when I lay down for the night and can only think about food. I lift a shoulder in a shrug as I remember it happening so many times before, when I had no control over my food.
“Mother, why didn’t she get the gift I left for her?” Giovanni’s voice cuts through the noise in my head.
I jerk my head up. My gaze darts between the two of them, trying to understand what he’s talking about. Vanna’s shoulders lift and fall in a dramatic shrug.
“We had more important things to worry about. Girl talk, and all.” She winks at me as a smirk dances across her lips. “Then she and Jade decided to make dinner, so you see darling, there was no time.”
Giovanni’s fingers are entwined with mine as he leads me through the house to his office. When we step inside, he stands at the door silently waiting for me to give him permission to close it, which he seems to do every time he wants privacy with me. My heart explodes in my chest when I realize what he’s been doing. I smile as I nod my permission and take a seat on the same couch as the first night I was here. A soft click sounds when the door latches closed. He crosses the room to his desk to pick something up before he joins me. His knee presses against my thigh as I wait with bated breath for him to explain what’s going on. He hands over a box that looks small inside of his large palm. It takes a moment for my brain to register what I'm looking at. I lift the top off to see a sleek, shiny new cell phone.
“Giova – I – you. I've never – thank you.” My eyes well with tears that begin to fall freely. “Why are you so good to me?”
The question is out before I can stop myself. He chuckles as he pulls the phone out of the box and presses the button onto the side which brings the screen to life; it shines so brightly as it cycles through the different images as it boots up.
“ Bella , you are the strongest woman I've ever met. Every single day you have been fighting to survive without realizing it.” He cups my cheek in his palm and I lean into the warmth, “I want to take care of you while allowing you to be who you are meant to be. You need the freedom to find out who that woman is, but I also want to make sure you can always reach me.”
As soon as he finishes his explanation, the phone dings in his hand. He smirks as he hands over the device. I glance down at the screen to see his name, when I tap the screen, a message appears.