Chapter 34
M y life ebbs away with every labored breath; I am dying.
The throbbing beat of my own failing heart resonates in my ears, each pulse a painful reminder of my mortality.
Relief washes over me, a strange sense of peace, knowing my suffering will finally come to an end.
The agony of the mate bond has been a part of me for so long I welcome death with open arms, comforted by its sweet release.
I bask in the bliss of finality, knowing I will no longer be held captive by the chains of his enslavement.
I have longed for this release, to escape the torment of the mate bond that has kept me captive.
In death, I will be free from the chains that bind me to him. Free of him.
Then, amid my surrender, a flicker of something.
Despite my desire to succumb to the pain, something foreign sparks within me.
Xandros, I can feel his presence calling out to me through our bond.
His scent is strong and unmistakable, and he pleas for me to hang on louder than ever.
Why? Why would he want me to stay in this wretched state of agony?
How much more suffering could I possibly endure?
My thoughts wage an internal war as my body remains immobilized, helplessly fighting its own battle.
Our connection trembles like a single thread in the wind, yet it still holds.
A surge of energy courses through my veins like a roaring river, as if his love is an unstoppable force that has broken down the walls I have built up around me. Every ounce of pain returns. Breaking through the bliss that comes with death, forcing me back to him.
My heart races as the bonds of his control wrap around me once more.
My chest clenches as I feel a flutter deep in my soul—the stirring of hope that I can break free.
It’s too late; the bond is already tightening its grasp around me.
Waves of energy course through my veins, and I can almost feel his blood stirring within me like a ruthless master demanding absolute obedience.
My entire body strains with the effort to break free, and yet I remain tethered by an iron-clad grip.
It is a never-ending battle between my will for freedom and the unyielding force that binds us together.
When I regain consciousness, I find myself sprawled across Xandros’s chest, his alluring aroma filling my lungs.
His warm fingers delicately brush through my hair, a gesture that should evoke comfort instead haunts me with distrust. He stares at me with relief in his eyes, thankful for my return, while I am left confused and disappointed.
“Thank the Moon Goddess, I thought I lost you,” Xandros whispers.
“You’re safe. I’m here, Anna,” he whispers, fingers gently stroking my face.
Anna, since when did we move to nicknames?
It took death for endearment; no death taught me clarity.
Words are merely what he speaks. How can I believe him?
He is a walking contradiction, his actions proving time and time again that he does not truly love me.
Tears stream down my face, and he whispers soothing words, assuring me I am safe and that he will protect me. I shake my head, anger welling up inside me.
I become frantic, and he tries to calm me, but I refuse to be pacified.
I push him away, the rage burning within me.
“It’s okay. I’m here, I’m right here,” he tells me.
Does he not see that this is the issue? “Mark me, you can mark me, she’ll never hurt you again, you’ll never be taken from me again.
” He offers his neck, urging me to mark him, to solidify our bond.
“And be tied to you forever?” I laugh bitterly. “No, Xandros, that is not why I’m upset. I’m angry because you forced me back to endure more of this torment.”
The healer races to Xandros, desperately trying to explain away my reaction. She reassures him my response is perfectly normal. “She’s fine; this sometimes happens, My King. Her senses may be thrown off balance due to her overwhelming proximity to death.”
Overwhelmed? Off balance? I’ve never been clearer!
Her words fall on deaf ears as I cackle in a manic state.
A haunting laughter that chills the air and pervades every corner of the room.
“What’s wrong with her?” Xandros worries, trying to stop me from escaping his grip.
Now he wants to pretend to care, to act like a worried mate?
I laugh, a piercing sound that slices through the air like a blade.
“She’s a little manic, a little jumbled,” the woman says as I slap her hands away while Xandros’s grip tightens.
“I’ve never felt clearer!” I scream, fighting off the hands that try to restrain me. Xandros orders the healer to leave, believing he can handle me on his own. But I refuse to be subdued. She doesn’t hesitate to go, as if she is frightened of me.
“Calm down,” he pleads. “You’re fine. I’m right here.”
I scoff at his words, the absurdity of his reassurances.
“That’s the problem! I don’t want you. I hate you!” I scream, my voice filled with the anguish of betrayal. How could fate be so cruel as to hand me back to the man who tortures me most?
In a moment of uncontrolled fury, I roll, only for him to roll with me, so I move quickly and kick him off the bed.
Xandros crashes to the floor, and I immediately run for the door, only for him to catch me around the middle.
Swiftly I drop my weight, twisting out his grip, and lash out at him, my hand sliding across his chest as I swing blindly at him.
Blood spills from the wound I inflict upon him, staining the floor. As I stare at what I did in stunned silence.
My eyes go to my trembling fingertips, and I realize I have partially shifted, my claws extending in the heat of the moment. The realization leaves me stunned, questioning how that is possible when he has ordered me to never shift.
Yet, just as quickly as the claws emerged, they retreat, leaving me defenseless and vulnerable.
With a feral growl, Xandros bares his claws and advances toward me.
In an instant, I am immobilized by fear, my body seemingly crafted from stone.
Fear clamps its burning grip around my heart, knowing there will be no escape from his retribution for my disobedience.
I stumble back, cowering away from him, pleading desperately in a vain attempt to protect myself.
“Wait, Xandros! Please, I’m sorry! It was an accident, I swear!
” My words quiver with terror as I plead for mercy, yet his expression remains unforgiving.
His lips curl into a cruel sneer as he looms nearer.
With every step he takes closer, my feet stumble backward.
His strides grow longer as I try to retreat, desperate to create the space between us.
. My back slams into the unforgiving wall.
His hands crash down like thunder on both sides of my head, blotting out all escape.
I close my eyes, then feel his breath sweep across my face; his growl makes goosebumps rise on my skin; my entire body feels electrified, charged with fear.
“Just like I mean this,” he growls, gripping me tightly.
I struggle against his hold, my body writhing in his grasp.
In one swift motion, he grabs me in an iron grip, and I’m powerless against his strength as he tosses me onto the bed like a doll.
I scramble to escape. He captures my ankles, yanking me back before pinning my wrists above my head.
His grasp on my wrists is tight and unrelenting, his eyes blazing with a new kind of emotion.
His body presses against mine, trapping me between his strength and the mattress.
I meet his gaze with defiance, determined to stand my ground, then I see a flicker in his eyes that undoes me.
With one swift move, he captures my lips, searing them with fire and passion that melts away the confusion coursing through me.
Love and hate intertwine until I can no longer tell which is more potent.
I struggle against him, still unable to let go of my anger and resentment.
His kiss, like a tempestuous flame, ignites conflicting emotions within me.
I am torn between the anger that simmers beneath the surface and the undeniable attraction that draws me to him.
As his lips claim mine, I find myself succumbing to the whirlwind of sensations.
His touch is both demanding and tender, his lips coaxing a response from me I’m unwilling to give.
Amidst the storm of desire and fury, a voice within me screams, demanding I resist, that I refuse to submit to him once again. I squirm, my muffled protests lost in the intensity of our kiss. It’s as if we’re caught in a dance of opposing forces, his dominance battling against my defiance.
Finally, he breaks the kiss, his breath ragged as he gazes into my eyes. The room is filled with charged silence, the weight of our desires hanging heavily in the air. I can see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between his love for me and the darkness that has consumed him.
“I won’t hurt you, Sienna,” he whispers, his voice laced with desperation.
“I never wanted to hurt you.” His words echo through my mind, stirring memories of the pain and suffering I endured in his presence.
There is also a flicker of vulnerability in his expression, a vulnerability that tugs at my heart until I remind myself of the monster he can be, truly. My monster.
As he continues, his hands traveling down my body, tracing every curve and dip, I find myself losing control.
The way he touches me, the way his lips trail down my neck, as if all the pain and hurt disappear.
His hands move faster, rougher. He seems desperate for my touch, as if he’s been starved of it for months.
As he tears at the hospital-like gown I’ve been placed in and bares my body to his hungry gaze, I feel a tremble wrack my body.
It’s like dark energy coils within me and draws strength from my heartache.
A part of me knows this is not how it should be; what he did to me was cruel and unforgivable.
Yet here I am, giving in to him once again with unreserved passion.
My body responds to him despite the fear and mistrust that swirls within me. I’m helpless to resist the pull of his lips, the possessive nature of his kiss that speaks to a depth of passion I cannot deny. I find myself melting beneath his touch, my limbs surrendering to his every command.
Xandros breaks away from my lips and stares down at me with blazing eyes. “You hate me?” he growls, his voice low and dangerous. “I’ll make you love me,” he says with a fierce intensity that sends shivers down my spine.
“You can’t force love,” I say, my voice breathless.
“Can’t I?” he challenges, and then he kisses me again, more demanding and deeper this time, leaving me gasping for breath and craving more of him.
“I hate you,” I murmur against his lips even as I arch my body against his, lost in the passion he ignites within me.
“I’ll make you love me,” he repeats, his voice rough with desire, before he takes me again and again into a world of ecstasy where nothing else matters, only the fierce possession he claims over my trembling body.
“And I’ll make you regret it,” I promise him.