Chapter 33 Wen #2
Another contraction hit and this time I screamed loud enough that I was pretty sure they could hear me in the reception hall. The pain was unbelievable, beyond anything I’d ever experienced. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire. My entire abdomen felt like it was being crushed.
“I need drugs,” I said when I could speak again. “Do you have drugs here? Pain medication? An epidural? Literally anything?”
“We have some herbal remedies that can help dull the pain,” the healer explained. “But they might slow down labor significantly.”
“I don’t care if they slow it down. Just make it stop hurting.”
“The baby will come faster if you don’t take them. Your body will be able to work more efficiently.”
This was torture and archaic. I wished we were in a fucking hospital.
“How much faster are we talking?”
“It’s impossible to say. Every birth is different. But the herbs can add several hours.”
I looked at Mal desperately. He looked back at me with fear and love and anguish written all over his face. “What do you think I should do?”
“I think you should do whatever makes you most comfortable,” he said immediately. “If you want the herbs, take the herbs. I do not care how long this takes.”
“But it might make labor significantly longer.”
“I do not care if it takes three days. I just want you to be in less pain.”
Another contraction hit before I could respond and made my decision for me. This one was even worse than the last. I bent forward as much as I could and gripped Mal’s hand so hard I was genuinely surprised I didn’t break his fingers.
“Fuck the herbs,” I gasped. “Let’s just get this over with as fast as possible.”
Time became extremely strange after that. Contractions came in relentless waves, each one worse than the last. Each one leaving me more exhausted and sweaty and wanting to die.
I lost all track of how long we’d been there. Could’ve been one hour, could’ve been ten. Could’ve been three weeks for all I knew. Everything blurred together into pain and breathing exercises and more pain.
“You’re doing so well,” Sorcha kept saying while wiping my face.
“I’m really not,” I panted. “I’m doing terribly. This is terrible.”
“You’re bringing life into the world. That’s the opposite of terrible.”
“Tell that to my body which is currently trying to kill me.”
Mal was still holding my hand through everything. He’d gone pale himself at some point. His eyes were red-rimmed like he’d been crying.
“I am so sorry,” he kept saying. “This is my fault. I did this to you.”
“You’re damn right you did.”
“I will never forgive myself.”
“Good. Hold onto that guilt. I’m going to use it for years.”
“I can see the head!” the healer announced at some point that might’ve been two hours in or six hours in. Time had lost all meaning.
“That’s wonderful,” I said sarcastically through my teeth. “Except it feels like I’m being literally split in half.”
“You’re almost there, Your Majesty. Just a bit more pushing.”
“I’ve been pushing for what feels like my entire lifetime.”
“You’re doing amazing,” Mal said. His voice was rough with emotion. “You are genuinely the strongest person I have ever met in my entire existence.”
“I’m going to kill you for getting me pregnant.”
“That seems entirely fair. I accept full responsibility.”
“If we ever have another baby, you’re the one carrying it.”
“If I had the biological capability, I would gladly do so.”
Another massive contraction, more pushing that made me see stars, and considerably more pain that I didn’t think was physically possible. I was covered in sweat from head to toe, my hair was plastered to my face and neck. I was pretty sure I’d screamed myself completely hoarse.
“I hate this,” I gasped between contractions. “I hate absolutely everything. I hate pregnancy. I hate labor. I hate whoever designed this system. I’m going to have serious words with them.”
“You can file your complaints with the gods later,” Sorcha said gently while dabbing my forehead. “Right now, focus all your energy on pushing.”
“I’m going to curse them so thoroughly. So extensively. With extremely creative language.”
“I genuinely look forward to hearing it.”
I was so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. My body felt like it had been run over by a carriage. Then backed over again. Then run over a third time just to be thorough.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I said weakly. “I’m completely done. Someone else needs to finish this.”
“You’re almost there,” the healer said for what felt like the hundredth time. “One more really big push should do it.”
“You said that exact thing three pushes ago.”
“This time I genuinely mean it. I can see the shoulders.”
“You better… Actually mean it…” I panted through the pain, “Or I’m going to be… Extremely upset with everyone in this room.”
The next contraction hit and I pushed with absolutely everything I had left. Pushed until I saw actual stars, until I was completely certain I was going to pass out. Until there was nothing left in me.
Then suddenly there was intense pressure and then release and the most overwhelming sense of relief I’d ever experienced in my entire life.
And then silence.
Terrible, awful, terrifying silence.
My heart stopped completely. Panic flooded through every cell in my body. “Why isn’t the baby crying? What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the baby? Why is it so quiet?”
They must’ve heard my voice because in that second, the most beautiful, perfect sound I’d ever heard in my entire life filled the room. A baby crying, loud and healthy and absolutely perfect.
“It’s a boy!” the healer announced with genuine joy. “You have a son, Your Majesties!”
Tears blurred my eyes as I looked back at Mal, only to find tears already running down his cheeks. Sorcha was openly sobbing next to us, and even Aurion’s eyes looked suspiciously wet from where he still stood by the door.
The healers did various medical things with the baby, cleaning him, checking him over, making sure all his parts were where they should be. Someone was also attending to me but I barely noticed because I was desperately trying to see my son.
“Is he okay?” I asked anxiously. “Is he healthy? Does he have all his fingers and toes?”
“He’s absolutely perfect,” the healer assured me. “Ten fingers. Ten toes. Two eyes. One nose. Strong lungs as you can clearly hear. A very healthy baby boy.”
They wrapped him carefully in a soft blanket and placed him on my chest. I looked down at him and my entire heart exploded with more love than I ever knew was humanly possible to feel.
He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Tiny and wrinkled and still crying but absolutely perfect in every way. He had dark hair like Mal. Lots of it. His eyes were closed but I could see his little nose and his perfect tiny mouth and his impossibly small fingers.
“Oh my god,” I whispered. “Look at him. Mal, look at our son.”
Mal was staring at the baby with complete and total awe on his face. “He is perfect. You are perfect. I cannot believe any of this is real.”
“We made a person,” I said in wonder. “We actually made a whole entire person.”
“You made a person, little mate. This is entirely your achievement. I merely contributed some genetic material.”
“You contributed pretty significantly.”
“Not nearly as significantly as you.”
Sorcha leaned over to look at her grandson and fresh tears spilled down her face. “He’s absolutely gorgeous. Congratulations to both of you. I’m so incredibly happy.”
Even Aurion had ventured closer, though he still looked nervous. He was peering at the baby with genuine wonder on his face. “He’s remarkably small.”
“All babies are small,” I pointed out.
“I know that intellectually. But he’s really extremely small.”
“Would you like to hold him later?”
Aurion’s eyes went comically wide. “I have absolutely no idea how to hold a baby.”
“We’ll teach you. It’s not particularly difficult.”
“What if I drop him?”
“Try not to.”
The baby had stopped crying and was making these little snuffling sounds that were possibly the cutest thing I’d ever heard.
His tiny hand had worked its way out of the blanket and was waving around in the air.
I caught it with my finger and he gripped it with surprising strength for someone who’d been alive for approximately three minutes.
“What are you going to name him?” Sorcha asked softly.
I looked up at Mal. We’d discussed names extensively but hadn’t settled on anything definite.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“I like Killian,” I said immediately.
“That was actually my second choice.”
“What was your first choice?”
“John.” He said, completely serious.
I made an exaggerated face of disgust. “Absolutely not. That’s terrible.”
“What’s wrong with John? It’s famous in the human world. It’s a perfectly respectable name.”
“It sounds weak and boring! Killian is significantly better.”
“You just like it because it sounds fierce and warriorlike.”
“Exactly. Our son should have a name that reflects strength.” I nodded. “Just like his parents.”
He looked down at the baby in my arms, then mumbled his name. “Killian Ashborne.”
It fit perfectly. It sounded right. Strong but not overly aggressive, unique but not ridiculous.
“Yes,” he said. “Killian it is.”
I smiled at our son, “Welcome to the world, Killian.”
Mal leaned down carefully and kissed my forehead with infinite gentleness. Then kissed the baby’s tiny head. “Welcome to the world, my son. We are so unbelievably happy you are finally here.”
I was queen now. Wife. Mother. Three titles I never in my wildest dreams thought I would hold. Three roles I never could have imagined for myself when I was just running a struggling bookstore and trying to make rent each month.
But looking at my son, at my husband, at this completely insane life I’d accidentally stumbled into through a poorly executed Halloween spell, I could totally say I was happy. Genuinely, completely, overwhelmingly happy.
I sent a silent thought out to my grandparents, wherever they were. “I’m okay. I made it. I’m happy. And guess what? You’re great-grandparents now. How incredibly cool is that?”
I imagined they were proud and smiling down at me.
Imagined they knew somehow that I’d finally found my place in the world.
I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of them missing such a big milestone in my life, but I knew that as long as I kept them in my heart, they would always be with me.
So I took a deep breath and smiled through my tears, looking at the new family I had.
A mate, a brother-in-law, a mother-in-law, and my friends back home.
They were my family now, and I wouldn’t change them for anything in the world.
Shit. My friends were going to freak out when they found out I’d had the baby.
I couldn’t wait to introduce him to them.
This…This wasn’t the life I’d planned. It wasn’t the life I’d expected. But it was exactly the life I was meant to have. And I genuinely couldn’t ask for anything more.
THE END