Chapter Twelve #2
“It’s too late for me to protect myself.
Can’t you hear the conviction in my voice?
I love you, Neal, in a way I could never feel for any other.
And it is all right if you wish to pretend you cannot love, but I know differently.
No matter how hard you try to put distance between us, I will always be here for you, Neal.
I will not turn away and I will not run.
I don’t believe in your curse, but I do believe in you.
Whatever happens, whatever may come our way, I shall not leave your side. ”
“You do not know what you say, Thea.”
“I know exactly what I’m saying, and I speak without fear and without doubt.
You can’t protect me from love, Neal, because I already love you.
I started loving you all those summers ago.
But now we are older. Wiser. And I still love you with that pure innocence and trust I gave you years ago.
I didn’t even see it back then, but this afternoon, in this moment, I realized how much you mean to me—and this time, you’d best never leave me.
Do you understand, Neal? I go where you go. ”
“I don’t deserve you, Thea. In time, you may come to hate this marriage.”
“No, I won’t ever. And don’t fear making me a widow again, Neal. One thing I’ve learned is that we have only the here and now. It is all that matters. The rest is speculation and doubt and fear. But this day, this minute is real.”
She then took his face in both hands and kissed him with all the generosity in her spirit.
Like flame to kindling, he responded, his arms coming around her. What was between them was more than mere sex, and it had been from those days long ago.
He needed her.
She needed him.
Neal suddenly swept her up in his arms. He carried her out the door, up the stairs, and across the threshold of his bedroom.
There, in the privacy of his chambers, they began undressing each other.
The night before, they had been so eager that there had been no time for exploration. Neal made up for it now. He kissed her neck, her shoulder, her collarbone—all the while unlacing her dress and pulling it down over her shoulders.
Roses falling from her hair, Thea tilted her head back with a soft, happy sigh.
She tugged at the waist of his breeches, pulling his shirt out and then sliding her hands under his jacket.
She adored the feel of his body. He was all hard planes and muscle.
Her fingers danced along his rib cage before she slid his jacket off, letting it fall to the floor.
She kissed his neck, nuzzling him and delighting in the texture of his skin and the scrappiness of his whiskers.
She tickled him with the tip of her tongue and he laughed, the sound startling her enough to pull back.
“What is it?” he said.
He was so handsome in the evening light. So strong and masculine. “The last time I heard you laugh was years ago.”
“I want to change that, Thea. Riding yesterday, I realized I’ve given up too much of life.”
His confession was music to her ears. “And you came back for me.”
Neal nodded. “I couldn’t stay away from you. Perhaps I should never have left you.”
“We were both too young.”
“Your feelings back then weren’t as strong as mine.”
His tone was light, but his claim gave her pause. His feelings had been deeper than hers. “Does the past matter, if it leads us to right here?”
His answer was to kiss her. He was already aroused.
So was she.
And they knew the answer.
In fact, Thea didn’t think she’d ever wanted a man the way she wanted this one.
They didn’t waste time with removing the rest of their clothing. Neal had loosened her dress enough that it fell in a heap at her feet. She stood before him in nothing more than her petticoat and stockings. She slipped out of her shoes, kicking them out of the way.
He mimicked her, kicking his off as well.
She liked this new lightheartedness around him.
This was the way it should be between a couple—not recriminations and nitpicking, the way things had quickly become between her and Boyd.
In fact, she didn’t think they’d ever laughed together.
Everything had been so troubled right from the start.
She wasn’t going to make that mistake with Neal.
Thea gave him a small push onto his bed’s cream counterpane. He reached for her as he fell, and she landed on top of him. Neal rolled them both over so he was on top.
“Finally,” he murmured. “I have you where I want you.”
His shirt was of the finest lawn and felt smooth against her skin. His hair curled around her fingers. “I pray you never let me go—”
“I won’t.”
She searched his eyes. The shadows were gone. In their place, she saw love. He might have been afraid to use the words, but he loved her. He had always loved her, even before she had thought of loving him.
Thea kissed him, arching her body against his, then slowly relaxed, moving her hips against his. She liked the feeling of his weight upon her. She craved the texture and smell of his skin, the warmth of his body.
They wasted no time removing the last of their clothing. There were few words between them. They were not needed.
Neal raised over her. Thea ran her hands up his strong arms, over his shoulders and down his back as he slid himself deep within her.
Thea gasped at the glory of his body filling hers. She wasn’t the only one caught up in this moment. Neal leaned over her. “This is good. So good.”
She could have agreed—if she’d been able to speak, and then he robbed her of all conscious thought when he began moving.