Chapter Twelve #2
‘To one of his whores, most likely. He’ll not return until noon tomorrow, I’d wager.’
‘I’m sorry. I did not mean to rile him,’ said Lowri.
‘Aye, you did, lass. But ‘tis done now,’ said Cullen. ‘And my cousin needed a lesson in manners.’ Cullen raised Maeve to her feet. ‘Go to bed. Esther can see to this in the morning.’
‘Aye. That is best. I wish you didn’t have to go, Cullen. I will see you again, won’t I?’ she said in a forlorn little voice.
‘Of course, lass.’
When Maeve had gone, Lowri turned to Cullen. ‘How can you come back here after that fight?’
‘Seamus and I fight all the time. Don’t fash. His temper will cool soon enough, and he’ll have forgotten most of what was said, come morning.’
Cullen rummaged in a cupboard and pulled out a bottle. ‘He doesn’t hide his whisky very well.’ He sat down before the fire and took a big, gulping swig, wiping blood away from his nose with his sleeve. ‘Come, sit, have a drink.’
‘I am going to bed.’
‘No, you are not. Drink.’ When Lowri shook her head, he said, ‘You shared your body with me, surely you aren’t too proud to share spit with me, lass? It’s the least you can do after insulting my family to their faces.’
Lowri snatched the bottle from Cullen. ‘I suppose I should have bitten my tongue,’ she said.
‘That’s as begrudging an apology as ever I’ve heard. And you misjudge Seamus. He is proud and….’
‘And pride is everything to a Macaulay.’
‘You have it right. He is married to a woman he cannot trust to be true to him, so how can he trust any bairn she brings into this world to be of his blood? And Maeve tells her tale of woe to anyone who will listen just to get sympathy.’
‘She is unhappy.’
‘She made her choices willingly and must take the consequences, just like you. Drink’
The whisky’s burn softened Lowri’s anger, and she was remorseful about any retribution Maeve would suffer on her account. ‘If I am so wrong about Seamus, why did you defend me?’
‘Because you are mine to defend, and I admire your courage in taking Seamus on.’ He gave her a warm smile, which was unexpected.
‘Will he come for us in the night?’
‘He wouldn’t dare.’
‘Why, because he is frightened of you, as your father is frightened of you?’ When Cullen did not answer, Lowri took another swig. ‘What are we to do now?’
Cullen took the bottle and carried on drinking. The question hung between them. Why would Griffin fear Cullen? Should she fear him, too? Lowri had to fill the awful silence.
‘Maeve and Seamus have nothing but bitterness between them. Is that how it will be with us?
After a while, he said, ‘You are nothing like Maeve.’
‘I am not well-bred, delicate and comely. There is nothing here to grace a man’s home and take pride in.’
‘I disagree, and you are not spoiled, selfish and lazy. Maeve is all those things and worse, but she can also be kind, affectionate and high-spirited. She is a strange, fey creature, that one. Perhaps it is not her fault. Her brother would have kept her close to home. Her mother would have controlled her with iron discipline. And see how she has turned out?’ Cullen grimaced.
‘Maeve cannot fend for herself nor curb her worst impulses.’
‘The bairn, you mean?’
He shook his head and sighed. ‘The second time I met her, she kissed me, out of nowhere. We were in the kitchen, and I was asking after her health when she kissed me. Seamus’ wife kissing his cousin as if it was the most natural thing in the world.’
‘And what did you do?’
‘I told her never to do it again. And she just shrugged and said, ‘Alright, but you are so handsome, I could not help myself.’
‘I cannot believe that.’
‘That she thought me handsome or that she kissed me?’ he said, with a smile.
‘Both.’
‘Well, she did kiss me, and she had no shame about it.’
The whisky had begun to dull her senses, but not enough to make her insensible just yet.
Lowri felt light, as if her troubles were dissolving, but she was restless, and she did not know why.
Cullen held her gaze, and she studied his face through a whisky haze.
She had to own that he was handsome in a rough, snarling kind of way.
And his mouth had felt good on hers when he’d kissed her.
Her body had responded to him, and a reckless part of her that got her into trouble all the time wanted to find out why.
‘So you were passed around different houses as a lad?’
He gave her a look that was not anger, but pain.
‘My father was not fond of my mother by the time I was born. They were not wed, you see. My father saw her one day and took her. She was poor, and her family, well, they as good as sold her to him. For my father, I think it might have been love, or infatuation at least, for she was beautiful. She was not given a choice, though I suppose she tried to love him.’ Cullen shrugged.
‘I did not have her for long, but I remember she was beautiful, with dark hair and eyes, like you. My father could not hold her affection, and he made her so unhappy that eventually, she descended into madness and had to be locked up. I was sent away against my will, banished, in fact. Not to spare me the sight of my mother’s madness, but to punish me for speaking up for her, and because my father feared I carried that taint of madness in my blood too.
By the time I was a grown lad and came back, she had passed. ’
‘I am sorry for it,’ said Lowri.
Cullen seemed to gather himself. ‘Ah, it was a long time ago, and we share the death of our mothers. Perhaps that is why we turned out badly.’
‘Aye. Peyton tried to guide me. I should have listened to him. I should have stayed in that convent.’
‘You would be wasted down on your knees in prayer.’ He smirked and chuckled to himself.
‘Why are you smiling?’
‘I am thinking of you down on your knees, lass.’
Lowri frowned, and Cullen laughed and shook his head, mocking her.
‘You pretend to be this wild, reckless woman, Lowri, but I’d wager you’ve not had many adventures with men, have you?
Maybe it is your convent education.’ He stared into her eyes and said quietly, ‘Far better to give yourself to me than to God, don’t you think? ’
‘I don’t know about that,’ she squeaked. She began to feel a little unsteady, but less adrift than she had all day.
A slow smile warmed his face. ‘Do you like what you see, Lowri?’
‘No.’
‘Take a proper look. Come closer. I’ll not touch you anywhere you don’t want me to.’
‘No. I do not want a repeat of that mauling on my wedding night.’
‘Lass, you have to give it a proper try. It can be glorious. And last time it was done in haste and under orders, yours, I believe. ‘You have to do it, Cullen. Now!’ He pointed at his groin. ‘Men need to be seduced as much as women.’
‘And how does a woman seduce a man?’ she scoffed, as a reckless excitement took hold.
‘Easily. Just take a man in hand, and he will do anything you ask.’ He made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh.
‘Maybe Maeve should just try that with my cousin, and he would be less of a miserable wretch.’ He shook his head and swigged more whisky.
‘But here I am, just like Seamus, and my father, forcing a woman to endure my miserable company.’
Lowri blurted out, ‘You are nothing like Seamus or your father.’ As the words left her mouth, she knew she was giving Cullen a gift, opening a door she might not be able to close.
Cullen leaned into her. ‘The hour is late. Let’s go to bed,’ he said.