Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
INTRODUCTIONS
WESTON
Very little sleep happened last night, but I’m running on adrenaline.
I have a son.
God. I still can’t believe it.
I’ve never been so fucking tired in my life.
I held him most of the night, staring at him and talking to him and dozing off, only to dream that I was crushing him. I woke up sweating and in a panic. He went in his crib after that.
I’ve never thought much about having kids, being so far from settling down in a committed relationship. The whole thing has always felt really far off. A huge what-if that I wasn’t sure I’d ever experience.
And I’ve been thinking about Sasha a lot.
I’m so curious about her. I wish I could remember more about her. She was cute, nice, and seemed down to earth, but there wasn’t much of a spark between us. She made the first move, was outgoing and fun, and I was all too willing to give her what she wanted. I’ve been too willing to give a lot of girls what they want. I’m not proud of that. And it’s not like I’ve turned over a whole new leaf.
I still like to get laid.
But I’m getting tired of the meaningless fucks.
I don’t even love how easy it is anymore—at first it was appealing to have constant access to beautiful women who were eager to please. Now, it might feel good in the moment, but the hollow feeling I get afterward isn’t worth it.
If I were to meet Sasha now, I doubt I’d even consider sleeping with her…so maybe I’ve changed more than I thought.
The guys have been texting this morning, wondering when they can come meet Caleb. In my last text to them, I suggested we talk later this afternoon. Maybe they can come after my family spends time with him. I can’t wait for the guys to see him, but my family deserves to have first dibs.
My housekeeper Amy comes twice a week to clean and to leave a few meals that she prepares in my kitchen. But since family will be trickling in throughout the day, I order a bunch of takeout—pasta that will still be good reheated, large salads, fruit, and a few desserts.
When Ed, one of the daytime security guards, calls to say the food has arrived, I ask him to bring it to the house and leave it on the island because I’m watching Sadie give Caleb a bath. We’re in the largest bathroom upstairs and his little tub is sitting inside the bathtub. Sadie handles him almost as carefully as I do, like she’s still tentative around him too, but she still knows what she’s doing more than me.
He loves the bath. He’d started fussing a little, but when he got in the water, he instantly stilled.
“It’s like he’s in a Zen state,” I say, chuckling.
“Sometimes I’d hear Sasha giving him a bath in the middle of the night when he was having a hard one,” she says.
As always, she’s quiet after she talks about Sasha, and I want to tell her to say whatever she wants about her sister.
When she doesn’t say more, I clear my throat and pat Caleb’s hand. His fist clasps around my finger while Sadie washes him.
“One of the articles I read suggested waking them to eat every few hours during the day. And limiting interaction during the night…which I totally screwed up last night, by the way. But he’s awake now,” I say, smiling when he smiles up at me.
She tilts her head. “We can try it. I already know I’ll feel bad waking him up though.” She smiles at him too.
She finishes washing him and then we just watch him kicking his feet in the water for a few minutes. He sort of shivers and I reach out to feel if his stomach’s cold and get peed on again.
Sadie surprises me by cracking up at this. I think she surprises herself because it ends almost as quickly as it started.
“We clearly don’t have his bathroom habits down yet,” I say, washing my hands.
When I turn back around, I catch her trying to hold back a smile.
“Looks like you’re a target,” she says.
I scrunch up my face. “You mean he’s never gotten you before?”
“No.” She laughs.
She carefully lifts him out of the tub and I hold the towel up. She holds onto him, exhaling when I wrap the towel around him.
“Baths make me a nervous wreck because he’s so slippery,” she says.
I motion toward the bed and she lays him on it, making sure he’s thoroughly dry before she puts on his diaper. I picked out his outfit. He doesn’t have many clothes, but what he has is cute and soft.
“Did you grab a onesie?” she asks.
“What?”
“A onesie.”
“No idea what that is, but tell me and I’ll go grab it downstairs.”
“It’s a one-piece short-sleeve thing that snaps and goes under his outfit.”
“Is this outfit also called a onesie?” I hold it up.
Her lips pucker out. “Mmm, more like a one-piece or a playsuit? I don’t know actually.”
“I’ll never get it straight. I like that outfit though.” I point toward the door. “Okay, I’ll go look for a onesie and be back.”
“I can just bring him downstairs too, he’ll be warm enough.”
I hesitate and then follow when she bundles Caleb back up. I go back for the outfit still on the bed and catch up with them.
“Is work okay with you missing shifts?” I ask.
“They’re being great about it, fortunately.”
“That’s good.”
We get downstairs and I say, “Ahh,” when she holds up a onesie.
“Now’s probably not the right time to talk about it, but…I have more time off right now than I will once the season starts. I can watch him when you go back to work, and then we should talk about what to do when I go back. We have a few months to decide.”
She looks conflicted and I regret bringing it up so soon, but the subject is unavoidable.
We finish getting Caleb ready. She works on all the snaps while I put on his socks, and when I pick him up, inhaling his sweet baby scent, she fluffs his hair.
My phone buzzes and I answer it.
“Your parents and Olivia are here,” Ed says.
I curse under my breath. “Thanks. Send them up.”
The doorbell rings a minute later and I curse again.
“How do people get anywhere on time? We didn’t even leave the house and I thought we still had at least another half hour.” I nuzzle Caleb’s cheek and smile when his mouth turns to suck on my cheek. “Sorry, little guy, I need to shave for you.”
I walk toward the stairs and go up slowly, muttering about how I haven’t even showered yet. Then I turn and see Sadie still standing back, looking uncertain.
“You don’t have to worry. My family will be fine. Well, unless Olivia is in a mood, but I’ll keep her in line. I talked to everyone more this morning, told them you’d be here…”
She still looks hesitant but nods and moves toward me. We walk up the stairs and to the front door. I open it wide and all three sets of eyes zero in on Caleb.
My parents’ eyes soften, my mom gasps, putting her hand on her heart, and Olivia studies him like he’s an alien from outer space. Her eyes flicker from him to me to Sadie and then narrow. It’s about what I expected from her.
“He is absolutely beautiful,” my mom says.
When she can finally tear her eyes away from Caleb, she looks at Sadie and gives her a reserved smile.
“Hello, I’m Lane and this is my husband David and my daughter Olivia.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Sadie, Caleb’s aunt.” She lifts her hand awkwardly and drops it. “I guess you already knew that.”
“We’re really sorry for your loss, Sadie,” Mom says.
“Thank you,” Sadie says, focusing on Caleb.
My dad tags onto that, adding his condolences while nodding pensively, and Olivia just stares at Sadie. I shoot her a look and motion for them to come in. Once they’re inside, my mom touches Caleb’s hair and her eyes fill with tears.
“He looks so much like you did, Weston,” she whispers.
“Come on back. I ordered lunch, but it arrived a while ago, so it might need to go in the oven for a while.”
We file into the kitchen, Sadie trickling in last.
“So tell us everything,” my mom says.
Sadie and I look at each other, something like panic on her face, and I don’t know why I feel a sudden need to protect her. I did not see that coming.
“Let’s ease into this, okay?” I say. “Sadie’s been through a lot the past few days. Caleb was born on the fifth of December and I’m probably partial, but he’s the best baby that ever lived, aren’t you?”
Caleb makes a sound like he’s agreeing with me, and my parents laugh.
“Would you like to hold him?” I ask my mom.
She nods eagerly and I carefully pass him to her. She looks down at him in awe as she holds him, and her eyes are overflowing when she bends down to kiss the top of his head.
“I’m your grandma,” she whispers against his hair. Her eyes lift to mine and she gives me a shaky smile. “Weston, he’s a dream.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and nod, too overwhelmed to speak.
“I just don’t get why your sister didn’t tell him about the baby…but now you’re living here?” Olivia says.
“Olivia, let’s not do this right now,” I warn.
“But is that wise? You don’t even know each other,” she pushes.
“It was an abrupt decision, yes, but the priority is Caleb, so we’re doing our best to put aside our differences and work together for his sake.”
“That’s all very progressive of you, but they kept your son from you, West,” she says.
“Enough, Olivia,” Dad says.
I glance at Sadie to see how she’s handling this, and her eyes are glassy, but she’s standing tall.
“My parents and I were led to believe Weston didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby. They don’t know yet that Caleb’s his.” Sadie looks at me. “My dad is a big fan.” She looks at my family again and presses her lips together. “And honestly, I’m still trying to make sense of what really happened.”
Everyone’s quiet for a second and my mom speaks first.
“I hope we can all continue to be a united front for Caleb.” Mom looks down at him and blinks back tears. “You don’t know our son well enough yet, but I can promise you that he will love this child with his whole heart and do his best to take care of him. The fact that he had you move in here should prove that.”
She glances up at Sadie and Sadie nods.
“I’m starting to believe that,” she says softly.