Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
BACK IN MY FACE
WESTON
“We’ve missed you,” Henley says, giving me a bro-hug. “You haven’t been to the last two meetings.”
“I know. I’ve missed you guys too. We went to Landmark Mountain for Easter and then last weekend Caleb got a cold.”
“How’s he doing now?” Bowie asks.
I sit down at the round table at Luminary and take a long drink of my flat white. “Better. Still not a hundred percent, but better. I think he’s teething too.”
They all groan.
“That’s not for the faint of heart,” Rhodes says.
“I’ll tell you what’s not for the faint of heart,” Penn says. “Sam and the endless barrage of inappropriate questions. This week he wanted to know if I could tell him about sex because he said he’s getting conflicting messages from the other foster kids in his house. One told him you could get a girl pregnant by hugging too long. Another said only if you’re lying down and hugging at the same time.” He puts his hands in his hair and tugs. “I just want to do math, man. I don’t need all this other drama.”
“Who knew you are such a nerd?” Henley says.
We all laugh and I feel lighter than I have in weeks. I’ve been in a funk for a while—a couple of weeks, I guess—and it’s good to see my guys.
“He’s a curious kid. Tell it to him straight,” Bowie says.
“I agree. I was told so much shit when I was little, and I’m glad Bree and I still agree on this at least. We don’t want to skirt around the sex talk. We’ve already talked with Cassidy and we will with Audrey when she’s ten…unless she asks about it sooner than that.”
“Okay,” Penn says. “If you say so. I just don’t want to do anything to mess him up. He’s already dealing with a lot.”
Rhodes puts his hand on Penn’s shoulder and shakes him slightly. “Our boy here is getting attached. I think there might be some paternal strings in there after all.”
Penn scoffs. “Right. Me? Nah.”
I grin. “It happens to the worst of us.”
They all turn and look at me and I cringe because it feels like they can see right through me.
“What?” I say.
“You gonna tell us what’s going on with you?” Rhodes says. “Or are we gonna have to pull it out of you?”
“What? I’m fine.”
“Yeah, I can tell you’re keeping up with workouts because you’re ripped as fuck, but your eyes look like this.” Rhodes does puppy-dog eyes and pokes out his lower lip for good measure.
“I do not,” I snort.
“He’s not lying for once,” Bowie says.
“How are things going with Sadie?” Henley asks.
“Fine.” When they all look at me pointedly and I shake my head and focus on my coffee mug. “She has Caleb right now and they’re at the apartment with her mom going through things.”
“So, she’s still staying with you?” Penn asks.
“Yeah, she hasn’t threatened to leave again.”
“Wait, she threatened to leave? You didn’t tell us that.” Henley frown.
“I…something happened. We kissed and…it’s been a while ago now.” I lift my hand when they start talking at once. “We didn’t have sex, but we messed around and after…she said it couldn’t happen again. I told her I’d keep my hands to myself…which I’ve done. It just?—”
“Just what?” Rhodes prods.
“Don’t leave us hanging there,” Penn says.
“It was different for me,” I say.
I glance up and see blank faces staring back at me before they start talking all at once again.
Finally Rhodes whistles between his teeth and it’s quiet again.
“Explain thyself,” he says, holding his hand out and nodding like I’ve got the floor.
“I’ve never felt anything like that from a kiss.”
“In a good way?” Henley asks.
“In an incredible way.”
They hoot and holler and carry on and Rhodes doesn’t do anything to stop it this time because he’s the main instigator.
I lean back in my seat, my head falling back as I stare at the ceiling, and their noise dies down.
“What’s the problem then?” Bowie asks.
“ She said it couldn’t happen again,” I reiterate. “At first I thought it was because she didn’t feel the same, but I don’t know, the way she looks at me, the way she kissed me back before she let her head shut it down…” I lean forward and they all do too, completely invested in what I’m saying. “When we were in Landmark Mountain, a bunch of girls came up to me and they were flirting hard and gave me their numbers. At first, I thought she was a little bit jealous and it made me hopeful, you know? But then she brought up an old conversation we’d had and sorta threw something I’d said back in my face.”
“That sounds like jealousy to me,” Rhodes says, tilting his head.
“She said it’d been a while for me and that I’m probably ready to have sex just for the sake of having sex.” I fling my palms out.
“Well, yeah,” Penn says. “How long has it been anyway?”
“She was testing you,” Henley says.
I frown. “She doesn’t play games. She’s not that way.”
“Maybe not, but did you reassure her? Did you say only if it’s sex with you or something like that?” he asks.
Penn snorts and the look I give him shuts him down.
“No, I didn’t say that. Did you not hear me say she said it can’t happen again? Why would I push it after that?”
“So she knows how you feel. That you’re not just wanting to get laid. She might’ve thought that kiss was just you scratching an itch or that you’re just horny…” Henley sighs.
“If it was just that, I’d have gone out and gotten laid by now.” I shove back from the table and put my hands in my hair. “Fuck yeah, I wanna get laid. But so what. I’m a grown-ass man. It’s not the worst thing in the world. But what is , is the fact that I can’t stop thinking about her . We say goodnight and I miss her the second I go to my room. I can’t wait to see her every morning. When she sees Caleb for the first time every day, something weird happens in my chest. When she laughs at something Caleb does or something I say, my stomach does somersaults. I work out for hours and it doesn’t do anything to lessen this—” I rub the place on my chest where it aches.
When I look at the guys again, they’re staring at me in a combination of shock and amusement.
“You need to wine and dine her.” Henley holds his arms out wide and announces, “Our boy is in love, guys.”
“No,” Penn gasps.
I point at him. “Agreed. I’m not in love. I’m just…I’d like her to take me seriously and maybe go out with me sometime and…oh, fuck. Am I?”
I lower my elbows to my knees and my head drops as I try to focus on breathing in and out.
“Are you hyperventilating?” Penn asks. “Who even are you right now?”
“I don’t know,” I moan. I point at them. “We keep this between us. Not another word about it.”
Rhodes pats The Single Dad Playbook lying in the middle of the table and nods sagely.
“We are the vault. What happens with us, stays with us,” he says.
Everyone piles their hands on the notebook and I put mine on top.
“What are you going to do?” Bowie asks.
“I’m going to pretend this isn’t happening,” I say.
Rhodes groans. “Didn’t you hear Henley? You need to wine and dine her. Tell her you only want her. You’re wasting valuable time. We’ll be training soon. You won’t have all day for this then. You’ll be at practice wishing you could have sex with her and these mugs will not be staring back at you in sympathy.” He points at his face and everyone else’s. “No, we will look at you like, why didn’t you listen to us when we told you flat out what to do ?” He shakes his head. “Pretend this isn’t happening. Shit. I’m with Penn on this. Who even are you right now?”
“I’m trying to be considerate of her feelings. To respect what she said…and give her time to heal,” I say quietly.
Fuck. I am falling in love with her.