Chapter 10 #2
Once I’m snuggled into his warm chest, I turn to the sky once more, strangely content to hear his quiet breaths puff against my ear.
Despite the silence between us, it’s perfectly wonderful because for once I can just be without having to think about all the shit barreling down on me.
Here, it’s just us and the stars and I wish, selfishly, that we never had to leave.
What inspired him to bring me here? Did he see my distress or was this a fluke?
After a while, the wind begins to blow and I shiver when a gust blows over us, displacing the blanket.
Maddox pulls the edges of the blanket up and around me, forming a little burrito.
Unfortunately, when he does, a memory surfaces and it’s as real as the two of us sitting here when I close my eyes.
“Wake up. Wake up,” she whispers in my ear, and I force my tired eyes open.
“Mom?” I mumble and she taps my nose.
“C’mon.”
“Where?” I ask as she pushes to her feet.
A glance at the clock confirms it’s three in the morning and my stomach sinks.
How long has it been? More than two years, I’m guessing.
In the hall, I spy Petey in her arms and silently sigh. I had hoped that when my little brother came, she would grow out of these little spells.
Sure, when I was Petey’s age, I thought it was fun but that was before I realized the woman ushering us down the stairs is but a pale version of the mom we both love.
“Grab those, won’t you, little bird?” she says, nodding to the tray on the counter.
The steaming chocolate smells good and my stomach rumbles as I follow her outside.
In the backyard, she shifts Petey in her arms and tips her head back, saying, “Look, son. Look at the stars.”
However, Petey is not enthralled, and he whines, “I want Stanley.”
Petey drags that old ratty bear everywhere. It could be in the car, for all I know and I’m not about to go searching for it in the dark but if I don’t intervene, this could be disastrous.
“Here, Petey,” I say. “Hot chocolate. You’re fav-or-ite.”
I sing the last, but my poor brother is tired and crankiness lines his face as he pushes away from my mom, his little legs flailing. Unfortunately, when he does, she drops him to the ground and barks, “Petey.”
My chest clenches when his lower lip wobbles and I point to the sky, saying, “Look Mom. A shooting star.”
“Oh,” she breathes, clapping her hands. “It’s just like I remember.”
With no clue what she’s talking about, I turn to my brother and crouch before him. When he shakes his head, I silently sigh before fake growling, “Drink your chocolate, before the tickle monster comes out to tickle you.”
His giggle makes me smile and I grab him up before he can run. After wrapping the blanket around him I plop into one of the lawn chairs while Mom twirls around the backyard, her pretty red hair a halo around her head.
Meanwhile I sing a quiet lullaby to my brother, who eases into my arms with a loud yawn.
When Petey’s eyes begin to droop, I pull the edges of the blanket around his body.
“Lay?” he whispers.
“Yeah,” I hum, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.
“Love you,” he says.
“Love you too. Goodnight, Petey.”
I can still feel his tiny body resting against mine and the scent of his baby shampoo lingers in my nose.
I forgot all about that night several years ago and when Maddox shifts below me, I pop back to the present.
Maybe it’s the constant fatigue dogging me or because I feel so achingly lost but a lump forms in my throat and I press my palm to my chest.
Why do I push these memories away? They’re all I have left.
“What is it?” Maddox asks, but I shake my head because he brought me all the way out to this pretty place to stargaze and I don’t want to ruin it by crying.
Still, the tears leak from my eyes anyway and he cups my chin. “Princess?”
“Sorry,” I mumble, wiping my eyes. “I was just remembering something from a long time ago…”
I wish I could go back to that day because I would hold him a little bit longer, squeeze him a little bit tighter and tell him, even if he was too young to understand, just how much I love him, but I can’t.
He’s gone…for-fucking-ever.
“Del–”
“S-Sorry,” I say again and bury my face in his neck as the insidious grief rolls through me again and again.
That’s the thing with loss. It clings to your shoulders ready to wrap around your throat and reminds you of what you no longer have with each breath you try to take.
When Maddox’s arms tighten around me, I burrow deeper, closing my eyes while he rocks me gently in his warm, strong arms.
I wish I could steal some of that strength because I feel like a limp noodle when I finally come back to my senses and roll to my back to cover my cheeks.
Oh my god. What did I just do?
“I’m so sorry,” I mumble, and the deep timbre of his chuckle warms my insides.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Uh,” I say, waving my arm around. “I’m sure you didn’t bring me here so I could cry all over you.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” he says, tipping my chin. “What happened?”
When he presses his thumb between my furrowed brows, I wrinkle my nose and say, “It’s a long story…”
Swiping his thumb beneath my eye and taking my tears with him, he says, “I’ve got time.”
Does he really want to hear this though…?
“I’m waiting,” he rasps, tapping my chin and I roll my eyes like a two-year-old.
His lips tilt the tiniest bit, sending my heart pumping before it fades and I mumble, “My little brother died a year ago.”
“Shit,” he rasps, dropping his head to mine.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” he says, and I close my eyes.
He’s right. It’s not and I’m surprised by his response because I’m used to people accepting my words as an excuse to move away from the awkward topic.
Not Maddox though. He’s been remarkably kind considering my mini breakdown. Maybe he understands because he’s felt it, I don’t know but tonight, under the stars with his normally teasing facade gone, I’m drawn to the man underneath in a way that I couldn’t be to his other persona.
Is it a persona though? I don’t know. Either way, it’s this that compels me to speak my horror even though I know it’s opening a door that I can’t easily close.
When his fingers brush the hair at my temple, I turn to him and say, “He fell in our pool and with the winter cover on, he had no chance. I hate that I ever wanted the damn pool to begin with.”
Those midnight eyes search mine before he runs the tip of his finger over the bow of my lip and asks, “Did you remember a happy time?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
My heart feels…almost normal after this interlude and when I smile, turning my gaze back to the stars, he pulls me into his chest once more.
We don’t speak but it’s perfectly wonderful because I feel his heartbeat against my ear. With my palm pressed against his shirt, I also feel the hard lines of his body.
The longer we sit here, alone together, the more I want to explore further, so I smooth my fingers over his pec, sucking in a breath when he presses his hand over mine.
My fingers tingle to continue my exploration but I turn to the sky when a shooting star bursts between the trees and grab his shirt, gasping, “Did you see that?”
“Yeah,” he rasps and when I meet his gaze, goosebumps dance across my skin.
Maybe it’s the stars twinkling above, maybe it’s his eyes glimmering below but I can’t resist, and I lean over, brushing my lips over his.
They’re warm and soft and wonderful and I bite back a whimper when he groans and says, “Princess, we shouldn’t do this.”
But I don’t want this to end because with him I feel, and it’s been so long since something brought me joy. This is why I do something bold and reckless, and I don’t regret it when I lick his bottom lip, and say, “Why?”
A thrill rushes through me when his eyes widen, and he wraps a fist in my hair before flicking his tongue into my mouth.
Those warm lips feel amazing against my chilled skin, and I grasp his shoulders as he wraps his tongue around mine and sucks on it gently.
Everything and I do mean, everything pulses at the sensual promise, and I slide my hand down to his chest, the beat of his heart thumping rapidly beneath my fingers.
Cool air greets me when his lips slide away from mine, and I shiver in his embrace when he gently bites down on my earlobe before kissing down my throat and licking along my collarbone.
A cascade of tingles follows in the wake of his wicked mouth as I stare into the sky, growing darker above us, matching the power of the desire swirling through my veins.
“Delaney?”
“Hm.”
“You’re so fucking sweet,” he says as he slides his hand beneath my shirt and coat.
Arching against him, I kiss his throat before he licks a trail down the column of my neck and sucks the pulse between his teeth.
When a bolt of heat rushes through me, I buck against him, eagerly complying as he gently pushes me down and pulls on the latch of my coat.
“So pretty,” he rasps, brushing the tip of my nipple over the fabric of my shirt.
My nipples peak and I meet his dark glittering eyes as I push up on my heels, silently begging for more.
His wicked lips quirk in a sexy grin, sending my heart into my throat before he plucks at my nipple and everything but the need lighting a fire under my skin fades.
“Tell me what you like,” he groans when I grind my pelvis against the ridge of his jeans.
A gust of wind passes through the trees, a soothing balm to my heated skin as I moan, “You. I like you.”
But everything washes away when he rears back and for a moment there’s nothing but silence between us while he stares at me with wide eyes.
What did I…shit. Did I tell him I like him?
Mortified, I drop my gaze as he slowly exhales and when I can take the suspense no more, I whisper, “Maddox?”
Thankfully, the tension melts from his shoulders and his mouth curves into a grin as he rasps, “Yeah, princess?”
“I…are you…”
I trail off because I don’t know what to say but heat floods my system again when he tugs a nipple between his teeth while sliding his hand between my thighs.