Chapter 32
Maddox
I’m out the door before I can do something stupid like rip that shirt off her body and replace it with mine.
Yes, my skin aches to touch hers. I want to slide inside her and find oblivion but that’s an anomaly born out of her innocence and my raging libido.
I don’t need Delaney. What I need is to get my hands on the fuckers who murdered my mother and she’s the goddamn key.
Besides, she may not have been born and bred MC, but she knew what she was doing when she asked my brother for his shirt.
She made her wishes known and now we can both stop running from the truth because whatever is coming for us ain’t moonlight and roses.
Jumping onto my bike, I peel away with a snarl and welcome the wind as it buffets my face.
It’s fucking cold today, but I don’t care. I like the numbness that spreads through my limbs because it sure beats the other shit.
When I roll up to the clubhouse, Wolf greets me at the door. His frown does not portend of anything good but between this psycho killer and the Aces, there isn’t much to be happy about.
“Where’s your pops?” he barks, and I shrug.
“Dunno.”
His eyes narrow, assessing my words and I cross my arms. Fucker don’t believe me. Too damn bad.
I have no reason to lie. Does he?
“Look,” he says, rolling his shoulders. “This shit’s bringing up bad juju. Ya know?”
Yeah, I know it was my fucking mother who was murdered.
Fucker.
“Yep,” I say, brushing past him.
“You see him, you call me,” he says, and I wave over my shoulder.
If Wolf is worried, then I should be too, but Pops isn’t saying much, and I can’t exactly beat it out of him.
While I wait for him to appear, I stomp up to Draven’s room only to pause outside the open door when I hear none other than Pops say, “Where’d you take her?”
“I told you. We went to the store. She needed tampons,” Dray says.
“This ain’t a fucking joke Draven. You tell me what I want to know, or I’ll…”
Silence follows his outburst, and I lean against the wall staring at the ceiling.
Pops doesn’t speak like this to Dray. I hate to say it but since Mom died, she’s more of an afterthought to him but when he does interact with her, he treats her like a little princess.
He doesn’t raise his voice, nor does he make threats…add that to the list of reasons why the Aces deserve death.
They’ve done more than just take our mother. They took our father too.
“You’ll what?” Dray snaps and I look up as Pops backs out of the room.
When he meets my gaze, his eyes close but before I can comment, he shakes his head and walks away.
When Mom died, there was a period of time that I worried he wouldn’t come back from her death.
Now as I watch him walk away, I wonder if there’s a new threat coming. Can he survive it a second time?
Refusing to go there, I step into the room and stalk toward Dray laying on the bed.
She looks up with her customary scowl and I lean over her to say, “What did you do?”
Pops may not recognize the signs, but I grew up with the little sourpuss. I know when she’s lying because her bitch meter tips the scale.
Rolling her eyes, Dray drops her phone to the bed and says, “I didn’t do shit. What did you do?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“And I thought I was fucked up,” she sneers. “You gonna punish Delaney for shit that happened when she was a kid?”
When she flips her hair, I grab the back of my neck to keep from shaking her and mutter, “You don’t know shit.”
“I know she’s alone. I know she came to you for help. Why do you think that is big bro?”
The familiar burn starts in my throat, and I bark, “Because she was desperate or fucking stupid. Take your pick.”
Jumping to her feet, she pokes me in the chest and hisses, “She trusted you. So yeah, I guess that makes her stupid.”
“What are you not saying?” I growl, grabbing her arm and when her eyes flicker and she looks away, a chill rolls down my spine.
“What?” I say. “Just fucking tell me Dray.”
“Fuck you!” she says, her lips pulling into a bitter smile as she pushes me away.
Before I can respond, she stomps into the bathroom and slams the door behind her.
Meanwhile I stare at that door.
She trusted you.
Fuck me.
Delaney
Later, I roll over and look at the closed door. Romeo was kind enough to make me some tea before forcing me to eat a sandwich.
In all of this, I’ve brushed aside the fact that I wouldn’t be here hiding from the Aces if Maddox hadn’t spotted Joey that day.
I don’t know how the Aces found out, although I suspect it was Draven. Either way, I know that it started with the man who stares at me with nothing but hate and revulsion in his eyes.
Beyond that, I’m hiding out with the one group of people that the Aces hate the most.
As long as I’m here, I’m risking more than my life. If I leave, maybe Maddox and his brothers can go back to whatever it is that they do when they’re not guarding me.
Am I being protected or held? What’s the endgame for Joker because he wants answers and he’s willing to use me to get them.
But how far is he willing to go?
The bottom line is that I can’t stay here. I don’t want to.
With any luck, now that Romeo has been around a few times, we’ve established enough trust that he will let down his guard.
I like Romeo and I don’t want to get him in trouble, but my heart can’t take much more of this.
I need out because apparently, I can't control myself around Maddox. He’s rude, angry and dismissive and I still practically beg when he says come.
Ugh.
The hall is dark when I emerge, but I don’t see Romeo as I tiptoe across the floor.
The front room and adjoining kitchen are empty, and I eye the picture of Maddox’s mom hanging over the fireplace uneasily before muttering, “Don’t judge me. You’d do it too.”
After which I wince when Maddox’s description of her death rolls through me. I can’t imagine her pain in the end, but I see what it’s done to her son, and I wish with every fiber of my being that I could be the one to soothe it.
Shaking my head of the fairytale that can never be, I peek out the blinds and confirm that it’s still just Romeo and I, when I see his dark head of hair glinting in the light of the moon.
I can’t exactly walk down the highway because I’m an easy target. I don’t relish the thought of cutting through the trees, but I think if I do, I’ll reach the town limits, and I can call my mom.
When Romeo’s head pops up, I tiptoe back to the room and place my phone in my backpack before pacing before the bed.
What should I do? Sneak out? Wait for him to fall asleep?
I’m just starting another loop of the bed when I hear a light tap against the wood and spin around.
Shit. Just…act natural.
Right.
Rolling my eyes, I collapse on the mattress, aiming for a sleepy, raspy tone as I say, “Yeah?”
Romeo pushes open the door, leaning against the jamb and I sit up with a tingle of awareness when he says, “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
He exhales slowly, glancing around with a frown before his eyes drop to my bag on the floor and he says, “You’re already planning to run. The answers you need aren’t here, sweetheart. Besides, you can’t stay. It’s ripping them apart.”
Wow. Way harsh. I mean it's true but still…
Bowing my head, I bite back my sniffle, and he says, “Hey, hey, it’s not your fault.”
I know intellectually that it isn’t but that doesn’t stop the burn of hurt knowing I’m doing this to Maddox and his family.
After wiping my nose, I slip from the bed and grab my bag. “What should I do?”
“Go back to your mom,” he says. “She can protect you.”
“You can’t?” I ask and his shoulders bunch before he sighs.
“You ain’t one of us, sweetheart.”
“If I was…?”
“Then you’d have all the Saints at your back.”
It’s midnight when Romeo drops me at the edge of the corner lot where Peter and Mom live. Rather than wake them, I tap his shoulder and indicate he should stop here.
Once I’ve dismounted the bike, I touch his arm and say, “Thank you.”
His pretty eyes glitter as he smiles and pats my fingers, saying, “Don’t mention it.”
“Will you get in trouble?”
Cocking his head, he gazes over my shoulder, his jaw ticking before he shrugs. “Naw, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Go talk to your mom.”
With a nod, I start up the driveway, eyeing the front porch where Petey fell and chipped his first tooth.
It’s also the place where I met him for the first time after Peter and Mom brought him home from the hospital.
I wish I could go back to that day, although some part of me can never regret meeting Maddox, a horrible notion because it never would have happened if my brother hadn’t died.
At the door, I wave to Romeo but when I turn back, Mom is standing on the threshold.
The roar of Romeo’s bike sounds in the distance as we stare at each other. I want so badly to rush into her arms that a sob bubbles in my throat.
She looks good, clearer than the last time I saw her, but I know how easy it is for her to hide the signs she doesn’t want people to see.
Still, I don’t protest when she wraps me in a hug and says, “I’m glad you came home, sweetie.”
It’s awkward as fuck but warmth still blooms in my soul when she pulls me inside and shuts the front door.
I have so many other memories here, but they’re overshadowed and now it’s like walking into a mausoleum of my regrets.
After leading me to the couch, she sits beside me and takes my hands. There’s so much that has happened since I left that I don’t know where to start beyond the one burning question that I can’t get past.
“Who are you?” I blurt.
When her gaze slides away, I pull back and fold my hands in my lap, silently urging her to tell me the fucking truth.
To my relief, she sighs and looks to the ceiling as she says, “Well, that’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time,” I mumble, and she chuckles, but it ends in a weird sob before she shakes her head.
The old grandfather clock in the corner ticks away while she gathers her thoughts before she says, “When I was a child, I lived on a farm with Mom and my stepdad and my stepbrothers. The little shits were two years younger than me and twins. Although they weren’t identical, they might as well have been because they were inseparable. ”
She picks up a stray piece of lint from her pajamas and drops it over the side of the table, her eyes taking on a faraway quality.
“My mom was a simple woman. Good but serious. Everything changed when she met their father and Bobby and Joey didn’t care about rules, only experiences and as they got older, it was a constant source of frustration.
“In their teens, it got worse. Their harmless pranks became violent, and Bobby got mean and angry. Joey, well, he just went along for the ride. I think for him, he couldn’t bear to go against his twin.”
She stares into the distance, lost to her thoughts before she shrugs. “Mom couldn’t handle them anymore, so she sent them away and my stepdad followed. A few years after that, I ran away and straight into hell.”
So, Joey is my mom’s stepbrother, something she never mentioned before. What does it mean now, and is he, my father?
When I don’t know what to say, she squeezes my hand, and says, “I got married when I was nineteen, to my first love—Jason. He was tall and handsome and wonderful. I didn’t understand it then, but as an MC brother, the little details I refused to see became more and more obvious.
He was still the kind loving man I knew to me, but to others, he morphed into someone I didn’t recognize.
“That same year, Bobby got into trouble. He killed a man in a bar over something stupid. He got ten years in prison for his sins. While he was inside, Joey moved forward and things calmed down, you know? Except, the longer Jason spent with his brothers, the more he changed.”
Clearing her throat, she touches her chest, and I wonder if speaking about this brings back painful memories as she says, “When Bobby got paroled, things changed again. Their father, he was not a good man and when he went missing, Bobby scooped up Joey and they disappeared for six months. I was busy living my life and when they reappeared, to my horror, they were patched in, members of a new MC…one that happened to be rivals of my husband’s.
“I didn’t know what to do and things got progressively worse until I realized that I didn't want this life, not from either side. I left Jason, telling him that I couldn’t do it anymore and being the gentleman that still lived deep down somewhere inside him, he understood and let me go.”
Meeting her gaze, I raise a brow and whisper, “Joker?”
She slowly nods, her mouth curving into a small smile before she sighs and says, “Fast forward to a few years later, I fell into some bad stuff and ended up pregnant. I knew when you came along that I had to be better, so I left behind that life and then I met Peter. He was the safe space I didn’t know that I needed but back then, I was still a girl running from her family. ”
Biting her lip, she bows her head, and I stare at her trembling shoulders. Pity rises within me for the girl who not only lost her first love but her family.
“And my dad?” I ask.
Her shoulders curl inward and she stares at her hands clenched in her lap as she says, “I don’t know.”
Uh…what?
“I don’t understand,” I say.
“I was young, so young and I made bad decisions,” she says, and I eye her trembling shoulders.
She’s lost more weight. If it continues this way, eventually, she might just break apart and fly away.
Clearing her throat, she says, “I’m not proud of my past but I love you, so much.”
Tears fill my eyes, and I bat them away as Peter appears over her shoulder and says, “It’s late. Come, you both need to sleep.”
Mom sighs and eyes me quietly before she says, “C’mon, you’re tired. This story will be the same tomorrow.”
I am exhausted both emotionally and physically and although I need answers, I’m not sure my mom is prepared to give them.
It’s a small mercy but waiting a few hours isn’t going to change anything.
Once I’m back in my room, I eye her tired blue eyes before asking, “Mom? Why does Ice want Joey so bad? Why was he here?”
When she wraps her arms around her middle, I step away as though her unease is contagious, until she finally says, “Bobby, um, Ice is…not well. He’s always wanted what he couldn’t have.”
“What did he want?” I whisper.
Nodding to the bed, she says, “Me.”
Why? What does it all mean?
Mom pushes me gently toward the mattress before pulling back the covers.
After I remove my shoes and the sleeveless hoodie I stole from Maddox, his scent washes over me and I fight back the press of tears.
When Mom flicks off the light and goes to shut the door, I whisper, “And Joker? Did you love him?”
Cocking her head, her lips lift into a small smile, and she says, “Love like that never really goes away.”